Gwyneth Paltrow has been with a few men who are not publicly demonstrative. While Brad Pitt called her an “angel” on stage at the Golden Globes in the mid-90s, Gwyneth’s marriage to Chris Martin did not involve a lot of hype either way. They were rarely photographed together and they rarely referenced each other in interviews and they certainly never complimented each other online. Gwyneth’s energy with Brad Falchuk is so different. He loves hyping Gwyneth and she loves being hyped. Falchuk is very EXTRA about her and he has repeatedly used his social media to write these long-ass essays about how Gwyneth is the greatest person he’s ever known. He did this for her birthday (Sept. 27) and their anniversary (Sept. 29).

When you live with this woman, a few things become clear. There are the obvious things – that she’s beautiful, that she’s funny, that she likes things the way she likes them, when she likes them. That she is always busy – but also always has time for you.

But the two things that really stand out are that she notices. And she acts. A lot of people notice without acting. They notice. Then they complain or they gossip or they shrug. And a lot of people act without noticing. Sometimes it’s helpful, but that is a dangerous way to act. Because you’re usually just acting for yourself. But Gwyneth notices and acts. She may notice you need a hug and give you an outstanding one. She may notice that you’re hungry and make you a delicious egg sandwich. She may notice you love the Red Sox and she will live and die with them even if she doesn’t understand what the hell is going on in the game. She may notice that you’re tired all the time and she will get you the right doctor to balance your hormones or create a little chewy square to help you sleep or wake up or teach you to meditate.

She may notice that people still get weird about the word vagina and she will do something so that, for a few days at least, everyone is saying that word. She may notice that women are feeling funny about their bodies and how they are working and she will find brilliant people for them to talk to about it or have those experts write an article for Goop. She may notice that there is injustice. That there are people who abuse others and she will take a stand for the victims, even if it’s scary. Even if she was a victim, too.

She will notice that birthdays matter and so she will always show up to your party with a great gift. She will notice that you worked hard on something and she will amplify your work with whatever credibility she was earned. She will also notice if you are driving like an a–hole and act using her swear words and middle finger. I could go on and on. Really. Today is Gwyneth’s birthday. So today we notice her like she notices us every day. And we celebrate her because if anyone deserves to be celebrated it’s you, Gwyneth. Happy birthday.

[From Brad Falchuk’s Instagram]

While his extra-ness annoys the crap out of me, I’ll admit that I enjoy the fact that Gwyneth is finally with someone who openly adores her. She… um, didn’t have that in her life for many years. But yeah, this is just a weird compliment to give someone: I noticed that you notice things. Gwyneth creates products because she notices things. Products like bajingo-scented exploding candles.

Photos courtesy of Instagram, Avalon Red.