Kristin Cavallari and Jay Cutler split sometime in April 2020. I say sometime because the couple disputed the actual separation date. Right from the start, the breakup had all the signs that it was going to messy, but it ended up being much tamer than we’d predicted. Kristin and Jay mostly played nice in the media, only running to the press about new relationships. Or, in Jay’s case, complaining about how no one wanted to date him. But I guess Jay crossing the line of going out with one of Kristin’s friends, Jana Kramer, got to her. Now that Jay and Jana have called it quits (ah, that’s a shame), Kristin is spilling some deets on why she’s done with her marriage for good. Kristin was on Kaitlyn Bristowe’s Off the Vine podcast where she admitted she’d tried to date Jay post-split and realized their relationship was “toxic” and she didn’t want to be a part of it any more.
Kristin Cavallari, 34, tried to keep her marriage alive to former NFL quarterback Jay Cutler, 38, but ultimately, the relationship became too “toxic” for her to stick around. During a recent appearance on Kaitlyn Bristowe‘s Off the Vine podcast, Kristin revealed her split from Jay was “such a roller coaster,” but that it was ultimately the “best decision” she ever made.
“There’s been times over the last 18 months where I’m like, ‘Is this the right decision?’” Kristin told Kaitlyn on the show. “Jay [and] I actually went on a couple of dates like months and months and months ago […] but then I was like … it’s not there for me anymore.” The mother-of-three went on, “The thing with Jay is, we aren’t getting our divorce because of love lost, right, which made it really challenging because we were crazy about each other.”
“And so I just decided I didn’t want to be in a toxic relationship anymore and I had to break it off,” Kristin continued. “But that’s made it hard and made me sit here and question it for a few months. But then going back and dating him a little bit made me reaffirm it like, ‘No, I know that I’m doing the right decision.’”
I’ve heard that divorce is incredibly difficult. Many of those I know who have gone through it have had second and third doubts within the first few years of separating. So, I’m not surprised Kristin and Jay dated during their divorce. I’m also not surprised to hear that theirs was a toxic relationship. I appreciate that Kristin’s not assigning blame for the toxicity, at least outright. Sometimes, two okay people just become toxic together. I’m not saying Kristin and Jay are okay people.
So once again, Kristin pulls her punches on Jay’s character. It’s good, the kids are spared Mom and Dad duking it out verbally. And getting close enough to the Kramer-Caussin divorce drama, maybe it reinforced their dedication to playing nice in the media. But both Kristin and Jay sure do like to point out they were the one to leave and why, don’t they?
Photo credit: Getty Images and Instagram
Regrets? Really? I don’t know anyone who went back after filing.
I manage a woman who remarried her ex-husband and know another one who did the same. When I move on, I move on.
It’s been four years and I still have regrets. Not so much that the marriage ended, but that it had to. We weren’t at toxic yet but we were on the way, and called it quits when we could still be friends. I miss all the good parts of my marriage and my husband.
@C-NO
I feel you, thanks for sharing. It’s tough sometimes but whenever a memory of the fun and love we had pops into my mind, I try to wish him well and re-focus my train of thought.
What do you do to manage the memories and regretful feelings?
Her candour and ability to articulate such a complex situation without assigning blame is refreshing. In divorces, it’s easy to lay blame at the other spouse’s feet.
I had to divorce the man I was still quite in love with because the circumstances of our lives made it impossible to be together any longer. My mental health was on the line and it became a matter of survival for me. He then immediately started dating and married his 4th wife. It killed me inside, and took literally years to get over, while he simply replaced me, as was/is his pattern. I’m sure he blames me openly for leaving but sometimes, you have no choice but to save yourself…
My ex of six years started dating someone in 10 days. It absolutely destroyed me. Sending hugs to you <3
Thanks, Hmm. Sending you hugs as well.
They’re both toxic so not surprising they caused damage together.
I wonder if they went for couples therapy. I watched some of her reality show and they just seemed so immature with one another – relating to one another like teens who are afraid to be vulnerable or show any emotion.
Her next boyfriend will be a billionaire. I guarantee it.