Personally, I’m still not over Chris Pratt’s ridiculous Instagram post about his wife, back in November. Chris has been married to Katherine Schwarzenegger for a few years, they have a daughter together and Pratt seems to believe that Katherine is great because she looks at him adoringly and “her heart is pure and it belongs to me.” Oh, and don’t forget that Pratt loves Katherine because she GAVE him “a gorgeous healthy daughter.” His son, Jack, with Anna Faris has special needs, so the comment felt especially pointed. There isn’t a GTFO big enough. But Chris Pratt is trying it once again, aiming for folksy and MAGA-lite and very churchy. Katherine’s birthday was the 13th, and this is what Pratt posted:
Happy Birthday Honey!
You are such a wonderful wife, mother, step-mother, and life partner. I simply can’t imagine how lost I’d be without you. You’re beautiful, tough as nails, reasonable, deeply thoughtful, extraordinarily smart, you’re a complete boss, eternally driven and you communicate like no other. Thank you for everything. Thank you for being so instrumental in my growth over the past few years. We fit so perfectly into each other’s lives that our Union is a daily reminder that God is looking out for us.
Navigating the odd circumstances of our world is a task I cannot handle alone. And I’m so grateful I don’t have to. Your commitment to helping others is contagious. I’m just so grateful for the harmony you continually bring to our household. I love you so much honey. Happy Birthday!
I hope to one day receive thanks for bringing harmony to a “household.” Yikes!! He’s talking about her like she’s a very well-liked staff member. I think I know what happened. Chris saw the (well-deserved) backlash he got for the November post, so he kept double-checking and rewriting this message, with the goal of trying to make Katherine sound amazing. The problem is that Pratt fundamentally thinks Katherine is amazing because she goes to church and she stays home with the baby and that’s it. Plus, he’s talking like they’re in marriage counseling at their church, which… might be the case.
Photos courtesy of Chris Pratt’s Instagram.
Sure he’s listing a few nice adjectives to describe her, but it’s mostly again what’s she’s doing for him. She’s HIS wife and the mother of HIS daughter and nothing more in his eyes.
The one that stuck out to me was ‘reasonable’
There’s a lot of lifting with that one word
Agreed. That one stood out to me aswell. I get a really bad vibe from this.
I agree with you both. If my husband described me as reasonable, I would question first his motives, then I would question whether he had a stroke or not.
I see that she’s reasonable when Pratt acts like a massive pr!ck and she has to talk some sense into him. That sounds reasonable, to him.
That’s funny – my coworkers call me “reasonable” and I actually find it quite complimentary. I come from a family of high drama narcissists, so I really like being “reasonable.”
little wifey never gets upset and yells; she knows her place.
that’s why, in his eyes, she’s “reasonable”.
while this is true, other commentators have pointed out she seems completely happy in this role. they seem well matched….
Matching bowls of oatmeal. . . Congealing in the spotlight.
Yeah, you’re right. This is the life she wanted, but his post could still have been a bit more about her as a person.
“Completely happy” is not exactly how I would describe it when much like the Royal’s the Kennedy’s have groomed their children from birth to snatch a high profile man and the ways in which to do so by being a perfectly accommodating wife.
I imagine she’s about as happy as Kate Middleton, maybe a little more because her relationship’s fresher.
Her personal happiness has nothing to do with the systemic issues her and her husband are supporting with this tradwife bs
@BothSidesNow
Thanks for posting exactly what I was thinking!
Narcissists think you are being reasonable when you just go along with whatever they want to do.* Sounds likes she’s taking a page from her moms book. I mean how long did Maria put up with it?!? They won’t divorce. EVER. He’s found his yes woman.
*Hard won experience as both my mom and ex-husband are diagnosed with NPD.
To me it seems like this is almost her only personality trait to be a wife and a mom.
Shame on most do you. People’s love languages are different. Mine is affirmation. My wife’s is physical touch. This is a post that could speak deeply to his wife. “Reasonable” can be really great. Sometimes I make rash decisions and my wife has the ability to think things through in a very reasonable way. How is that a bad thing?
Happy birthday here’s a list of adjectives that describe you. 🤷🏻♀️
‘Find fault with that, internet!’ he dared
Lol
How typical Worst Chris. Your birthday message to your wife on HER birthday is all about YOU. Good job. Try harder at marriage counseling.
Or, as a member of the MCU, take the Ancient One’s words to heart….It’s not about you.
I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I wish he’d just STFU with this OTT public mush.
the OTT mush as you call it isnt even the worst of it, it’s the implications and all the pureflix republican-lite god-music stuff that gives off the worst vibes of all
He’s so grateful he doesn’t have to “navigate the tasks” of the household. How romantic! And she’s the opposite of “driven”—she never had a job after college, just wrote a few fluffy books that wouldn’t have gotten published if not for her name. They both deserve each other.
Driven to be his adoring wifey, apparently.
She’s great ’cause she’s helped *him* with *his* personal growth… Nope, try again Crisp Ratt
Crisp Ratt made me LOL. Nice one.
In those Instagram pictures, Chris Pratt’s wife looks so much like her father.
That post is a lot and it’s not much of an improvement over Chris Pratt’s Thanksgiving post.
I’m sort of worried about Katherine Schwarzenegger.
I wouldn’t worry about her, I think she’s exactly where she wants to be. She’s happy being the efficient mom and wife of a rich movie star.
Even if that movie star disparages his son and ex-wife?
Not for the rest of us.
I’m saying Katherine doesn’t need anyone worrying about her, she’s happy with her lot in life. Not sure what you think I was saying.
these two give me weird pureflix hostage drama mother may I sleep with danger energy
I get the vibe that Pratt is one of those men who cannot function without a partner.
It’s not a vibe, he actually said that with his own words!
I don’t keep up with Pratt so I didn’t know he admitted it himself but not surprised.
The fact that he thinks women want to be described as “reasonable.”
that “reasonable” is an entire onion with how many layers it has to it
Tell me KS is a doormat without telling me she’s a doormat.. ” She brings harmony to house””. Uhh
“Happy birthday to an amazing woman”. Short and simple. Or better yet instead of a performative SM post, just make sure she has a happy birthday in person.
Like take her out to a really nice restaurant that doesn’t have a kids menu and expand her palate.
Hahahaha!
Yeah, that’s not so much a tribute as it is a performance review. I realize that I’m rather biased here and that I’m going by what I would personally want to hear or read from my partner, but it just sounds so…detached. Great thesaurus skills though!
Lol @ performance review. So true.
Happy Birthday to my exceeds most wife!
I’m a skeptical person so every time I see a post like this whether it’s from acquaintances I follow on media, I’m thinking : Over compensating much? Add to the fact it’s Chris Pratt of course and this dude cringe me a lot…
He should stop talking
I didn’t think it was that bad like the last one, but I also don’t really care and wish he would stop posting.
The post is all about how she makes his life easier.
nailed it
Dude posting reminds me so much of Justin Timberlike posts about his wife, his family
Me Me Me all the way home
🤢🤮🤢
omg youre so right
Ugh. I wish he’d say less, but I suppose after that annoying pre-birthday post, he had to post something on his wife’s actual birthday. He’s one who I like less and less the more he talks.
I hope he’s much nicer to her in person.
of course it’s the woman who must bring harmony upon a household
What does he bring to the table?
Wasn’t he rumored to be cheating on Anna Farris?
Are there any pics where he is looking at her adoringly? Or is that just a one-way street while he adores the camera.
A simple “Happy Birthday babe!” would have been enough.
We get it Chris, she is your perfect submissive Stepford wife, enough already!
I think the guy genuinely loves his wife and his life with her. He is problematic, but he seems to adore her. This keeping the harmony at home comment sounds like it could be taken as a shade when comparing to his previous relationship which might have been been more rocky and they might have been fighting a lot more. Anna Farris was a working women with responsibilities and possibly a stronger head, mind and opinion. Katherine was probably shielded her whole life and was most probably born in a pink candy land world, so her life just continues without any hassles and Pratt is just a part of that now.
Good point!
Her Candyland sheltered privilege is nauseating and tone deaf, as is his “all about me me me” attitude. Perhaps these two really are perfect for each other (throws up in mouth a little while typing this).
I’d pay real money to a researcher/biographer who could explain how and why Arnold and Maria’s daughter turned to into an evangelical.
Most fundies either grew up that way or had a come to Jesus moment in the midst of a personal crisis.
Also, who wrote that tripe because it wasn’t Chris….
It’s quite easy to turn from one extreme denomination to another. Especially when you think the new denomination speaks to you as a young person.
What extreme? Maria is Catholic primarily by tradition. I don’t even know what Arnold is but I never got the impression either of them were practicing anything.
He’s parroting stuff he’s heard at their church. And he’s heard it enough that he thinks that’s how women really want to be talked about. Whoever said its big pureflix energy above, hit the nail on the head.
I think they’ve just been completely subsumed by their church. I bet the pastor of their church does some of these same posts or talks about his wife the same way (based on how mega church pastors did ten years ago when I attended). I can’t tell how much of it is him being genuinely awful, and how much is them both being in deep.
She is a Kennedy-they always stay until they dont. She doesnt need him or his money. He knows it. The Kennedy women stay with cheaters and worse. Look at her mothers history.
OMG!!! She’s giving him the Nancy Regan gaze!!! I wonder if her family really likes him or they just tolerate him. He gives me the icks.
The picture where she’s wearing blue has a real Nancy Reagan vibe – the way she always gazed adoringly at “Ronnie.”
I think there could be an actual, genuinely sweet intention in that message, and it is specifically all the stuff emphasizing how smart she is, because that profile she did for whatever magazine it was a few weeks ago made her seem about as deep as a puddle evaporating on the asphalt of a Phoenix parking lot in midsummer. She just came off as this boring, basic as hell, sheltered little girl, and that kind of critical reaction to her might have hurt her feelings a bit, so he’s talking about how actually she’s this no-nonsense, intelligent adult and the stable glue holding down the fort, I guess.
But UGH, I can’t stand people being so publicly church-y, especially people like Chris Pratt, who has a long, documented history of being a total fucking douchebag. It’s the moral hypocrisy that rankles more than anything. And honestly, genuinely decent people with a normal, happy marriage don’t broadcast how normal and happy and religious they are like this. They just live their lives. All he’s doing is making me think he’s laying the groundwork to enter GOP politics someday.
I hate when celebs write long social media posts gushing about anyone in their family. These notes are not for the public – it’s so so so cringey!
Just write ‘Happy Birthday to the most beautiful woman in the world’ and be done with it.
This times a million. And not just celebs either-I cringe when normal people make gushing comments on their social media about their SO. Ick.
Celebrities that post stuff like this are doing it for public attention and nothing else.
If you look in his eyes, he’s completely checked out. It’s like he’s constantly performing “life” and who he thinks he is and should be. It makes me sad.
I didn’t look at the Insta pics when I first read the blog post, but now I have and why is she smiling like that in the last two photos? Especially in the last one. Does she want me to check if she got something between her teeth?!
This reads like a message I would expect from a couple who have 40 years, a empty nest and hell or high water under their belt. After all that time together, there are changes.
Not a young couple who have been together less than 7 years. He really is a selfish prick and she is a Kennedy.
Neither one of them is terribly bright.
That’s putting it mildly.
I feel like this was written by someone else. It’s still cringey AF, but the way it basically bullet points all the criticisms of the last post makes it look like a publicist drew it up so he couldn’t screw it up again.
Although of course they can’t resist adding the religious bent “proof our union was blessed by God”….unlike that OTHER marriage where I was tainted by an impure non-believer and punished by a less than healthy child!!
It’s all a little too Stepford for me. Like, did he brainwash her?? I just can’t deal with him.
That gazing-adoringly-at-her-Man photo is some Duggar s###. Who could possibly admire that right now?
Well, EVER, really … But ESPECIALLY right now.
Did they get married inside a Target with Joel Osteen officiating or what?
🤮
I think what he wrote is quite nice. Pratt and Katherine are like millions of white American couples: evangelical, hypocrite, slightly-to-moderately racist, Trump tolerating and or Trump voters. I don’t understand why people get so passionately angry at him for showing the influence his faith and church have on him. To the white Celebitches, don’t y’all have people in your families just like this? I guess maybe that’s why it’s triggering…
I do get the curiosity about Katherine. I never thought that Maria Shriver, award winning journalist and Oprah’s other best friend, would have an evangelical daughter. And her eldest child too! She could have been called by God to follow this faith. Or she’s been looking for a place where she fits and she found it?
“Matching bowls of oatmeal. . . Congealing in the spotlight.”
🤣🤣😂🤣😂 Truly the funniest sh!t I’ve read in a long time…thanks for that!!!
Um, does anyone see a Pratt-Cambridge crossover? Trad household held together by appearances/grinning/bearing it for a bigger plan (throne/politics), barely concealed rightwing leanings, young enough, and four of them combined have star/entertainment appeal? If Kate could allow Katherine to stand next to her as an equal (I don’t know of any woman Kate stands shoulder to shoulder to, not even her sister, everyone seems to have to scrape and bow). I think Will would be okay with Chris Pratt as an equal, Pratt is a superhero and tall man. Also, Kate may not like that Katherine’s lineage is more impressive than hers (I don’t care about this, but I think Kate does).
Also, dude’s use of the Oxford comma is totally inconsistent.
Both of these people are incredibly boring to me but this is not terrible. I’d be fine if someone said I brought harmony to the household since I know how truly off-key my shower karaoke can be.
Y’all are a bunch of whiny bitches. Probably never receive compliments, so you have to rag on other people that do. Get over yourselves.
100% agree. Jealous bitches who would jump at the chance to have him look at them.
I continue to reasonably navigate away from worst Chris and his branding.
She’s reasonable? Lol. I hated that when I read it. It automatically sets off alarm bells for me. I read it as “thank you for always agreeing w/ me b/c you realize that I am smarter, less emotional, & more capable of making rational decisions”. Probably way off — but that’s the vibe I get. BTW – I’m not criticizing their physical appearance or their features but their pictures FREAK ME OUT. Like, those pics could be the banner pics on a cult website.
I agree. Never read so many comments borne out of pure envy.
If you don’t like what he says just don’t read it. Why is this so hard?
Leave him alone you PSYCHOPATHS