Yes we’re still abiding by the 3-Britney-Posts-a-Week rule. They say it’s good to space out your bad habits, sort of a Monday/Wednesday/Friday thing. I just had to get to mine early. A video has been released from one of the dress rehearsals for the Video Music Awards. Britney famously botched her entire performance on September 9th – but the video shows what the routine was supposed to look like. In it, a stand-in dancer is used instead of Britney, and it’s amazing to see just how off Brit really was. Not like we couldn’t tell, what with the eyes that were mostly glazed over, with the exception of an occasional deer-in-the-headlights expression.

From most reports, Britney’s performance was supposed to be good, but understated. She wasn’t going to come out in a flesh tone/rhinestone covered bodysuit of dance with a snake. She was supposed to be reasonably covered but seductive, and dance reasonably well – sexy but not slutty. But that’s a concept that’s always eluded Brit, as she has famously thrown out couture claiming it wasn’t “sexy” enough. Britney’s version of sexy being go go boots and a bra (panties optional – and generally breakaway). Here’s how the performance was supposed to look:

Not bad, right? No one would be raving, “OMG, the old Britney is back!” or anything because there was nothing scandalous or shocking about it… there was no planned Madonna kiss this time around, as far as I could tell. But I think part of why whoever was choreographing her performance did it that way was because the last thing Britney needed was something shocking or potentially controversial. It seems like everyone was trying to look out for her and have her do the safest and professional performance possible. From the outfits MTV wanted her to wear (mostly corsets) to having a ton of dancers to carry most of the performance, it looks like everyone tried their best. Everyone but Britney, as usual.

In other Brit news, several websites are reporting that she failed her most recent drug test. The rest are reporting that she passed, otherwise her kids wouldn’t have been with her recently. I’m going with failed, and good PR spin. We’ll find out, and let you know next time we write about her… in 2 days. This restraint is killing me. I’ve had a terrible sinus infection and flu for 11 days now, and I swear to God, it was brought on by holding in all my Britney gossip. She really is toxic, if she stays in you, only antibiotics can cure it. I’m guessing I’m not the first one to say that last part about her though.

Here’s her performance, if you want to stomach it, one last time. Or just watch the good one above again.