Jennifer Aniston is digging herself into a deep, dark hole from which her career will never recover. Only a select few people in this world are given the advantages in life that Aniston shits on every time she opens her mouth.

Her latest quotes, of which there are plenty, are just full of gratitude for her charmed existence.

The woman who has most of the world’s resources at her disposal is bitching about some furry rabbits in the huge front lawn of the massive mansion she lives in:

All she has to do is pick up the phone and ask someone to come over. She can probably even get the guys who created Wallace and Gromit to come over with a working BunnyVac. When you have the kind of cash that Aniston does, you’re truly a petty person if you let some little rabbits get to you.

You’re also stupid if you rip on the entertainment industry that made you an ungrateful star, but of course she does it anyway.

Aniston, there are devices that help you avoid unwanted television programs. They’re called a Tivo, a Replay TV, or you can even get a Media Center PC. Again, pick up the phone and ask for some help. The next time you need help around the house, please do us a favor and consult the yellow pages instead of complaining to the reporters that hover around you.

We are glad that you are moving to Chicago to live with your bloated paramour, Vince Vaughn. Please refrain from speaking to reporters there, and ask Vince to help you with minor problems around the house.

Also, this other shit you said about how the paparrazi bothers you and how men came on to you while you were married, we really don’t care. Please review Mischa Barton’s latest interview, and take notes on how to respond to reporters.