Ellie Goulding wrote a deeply personal note to her fans on New Year’s Eve in which she opened up about her mental health over the last year. In many ways, she explained, it was the best year of her life. She wrote new music, released her first book, performed with Joni Mitchell and gave birth to her first child, Arthur. But Ellie said that throughout, she’d struggled with anxiety. It was bad enough that she found herself unable to answer when asked how she was doing. Instead of hiding her anxiety any longer, Ellie said she decided to let her fans know both to empower herself and to reach out to others who are also crippled by anxiety.
Ellie Goulding rang in the New Year with a confession about her mental health.
In an Instagram post shared before the start of 2022, Goulding confessed to struggling with anxiety amid “the very best” year of her life.
“This year has also been the hardest of my life,” the musician wrote in a slideshow posted on her page. “I’ve struggled daily, nightly, hourly with a kind of panic I didn’t even know existed. While the moments of being on stage in front of all of you have been some of the most exhilarating and calming, this year I have been struggling.”
Reflecting on the past, Goulding said her anxiety likely “dictated quite a lot of my life and career,” which makes her “feel sad.” However, the “Power” singer said anxiety has also helped make her who she is today.
“I want to tell you this on the last day of this year because so many of you have been asking how I’m doing and often do not get a reply. It’s because I’ve been too scared to admit that the answer is, not very good,” she wrote. “I feel like something is broken inside – something that has been echoed deeply by the few I have opened up to.”
She continued, “This is something so so many people have gone through, you may be going through right now, or might go through in the future – and I just wanted to say, and I have to remind myself all the time, that it’s not just you, it’s not just me. Crippled by anxiety.”
“For those that are in this right now, we’re together and we can get through this – most importantly, by talking. Talking and opening up is the hardest, and the best thing you can do.”
At the end of her note, Goulding reminded readers that “Life is a precious thing and seeing Arthur grow every day gives me so much hope. … Let’s get through this together. 2022 is going to be a bright year. Positive energy. Together.”
Goulding concluded: “Signing off (for a bit) and sending so much love, as ever, to you all xx.”
I posted Ellie’s IG post below for those who want to read it. I do not have anxiety, so I don’t know exactly what Ellie went or is going through. I have my own struggles with depression and know what it’s like to not want to answer the “how are you?” question. Mental illness is such an abusive relationship because it keeps you from those who want to make you better, including yourself. It really does dictate your life. And when you think you have the strength to reach out for help, you lose it mid reach. So although I don’t know everything Ellie is feeling, I do know how hard it was to push send on this. It was probably doubly hard because she knew there would be those who judged her for talking about it after so many good things happened last year. And that’s part of the issue. Good events don’t “cure” mental health struggles. But talking about the struggles and connecting with others who identify can help manage them.
At the end of Ellie’s note, she said she was signing off for a bit. The response to her post was so positive she signed on IG once more to thank everyone. Ellie said she felt “supported and loved, and most of all, not alone! It means a great deal.” I’m glad she got the support she deserved. It took guts to put herself out there like that. I hope the time away from social media does her some good. And I hope those that Ellie reached with her post are getting the same love that she did.
Photo credit: Avalon Red and Instagram
Sure much of it can be attributed to lowered stigma & more openness, but it sure seems like a lottt more people suffer from quite serious anxiety of late. I’d be curious to know if any major studies are being undertaken. Why is this occurring? Is it predisposition, or environmental? Hmm
Hi Lex, I’ll try answer this as best I can as someone who suffers crippling social anxiety. I think it’s both environmental & predisposition (genetic) my mum has anxiety too as a result of childhood trauma. Prefacing this by saying Covid has exacerbated my anxiety. I’m a nobody, (fairly decent face & body) yet the thought of going out, speaking in front of people, being the centre of attention (in anyway) paralyses me. Then I think of celebs, actors & musicians whose job it is to be ‘front & centre’, knowing your every move, body, face etc is going to get trolled must be pretty awful. Hats off to those, like Meghan The DoS, who can do it … successfully
Anxiety and depression have been around as long as people have been around. It may feel like it’s new but it isn’t. What’s new is that people are talking about it and not hiding it anymore. There is less shame and less of a feeling of failure now because it’s being spoken about freely and openly. (We need to end the feelings of shame, these feelings are not failure.) People are sharing their personal struggles so that others can know that they aren’t alone. It’s incredibly brave and it’s up to us to welcome their stories and to keep the conversation going so that no one deals with this on their own. This is something that affects everyone on this planet , either directly or indirectly.
Stories like these are helping. Keep talking. Keep listening. Keep sharing. You are not alone. ❤️
Kudos to Elle for speaking out. That cannot have been easy. As someone who has lived with Generalized Anxiety Disorder for 20+ years, the good news is anxiety is very responsive to treatment and there are lots of treatment options. I’ve recently discovered a few really helpful podcasts and there are so many good books out there, too. Therapy is super helpful but not everyone can access that easily or affordably. I am sure with these last few years of trauma (Tr*mp, Covid, etc.) there are a lot of people experiencing anxiety for the first time and the numbers are on the rise. It’s great to have people like Elle and Prince Harry speaking out about mental health and encouraging people to seek help and support. Big hugs to fellow CB’ers who need one and who are dealing with things like this. Always grateful for the distraction CB brings me!!
Same.
I have bad social anxiety it’s so awful I just wanna throw up
Social anxiety is awful. This pandemic has not helped at all. Hugs, Mimi.
I didn’t even know I had Generalized Anxiety Disorder until electronic charts became a thing and I saw my doctor had noted it in my medical record without ever telling me. My mom always called me “a worrier” but I didn’t equate that with an official diagnosis. But once I knew, I was able to pursue treatment — no thanks to my GP! — and I say I’m mostly in remission now. I still have flare-ups — like right now while I wait to find out if my kid caught covid from a recent close contact — but they feel more like manageable, appropriate responses to specific situations. Before, it was just this amorphous nervousness that had no focus and felt too overwhelming to deal with.
My younger daughter has anxiety as well, and I can see her dealing with that free-form blob of worry. I’m trying to teach her the things I’ve learned to manage my anxiety, and she sees a therapist. I’m so pleased that she’ll be able to recognize and address it so much younger than me. No living with it for decades!
Hi salmonpuff and other commenters, I’ve dealt with anxiety for most of my life and was diagnosed with GAD about 7 years ago. At the time, I underwent a couple of types of therapy including BMT and although I found them insightful, they didn’t make much difference for me. I read “Unwinding Anxiety” by Judson Brewer over the holidays and found it helpful.