Meghan Trainor gave birth to son Riley just 10 months ago. She was so excited to be a mom, she announced her pregnancy the minute she could. So we’ve been involved in much of her journey to motherhood. However, as happens with most fantasies, that journey has not been as smooth as Meghan envisioned. The first wobble happened when she had to deal with gestational diabetes. Riley was breech, which meant she gave birth via cesarean, something she thought she was prepared for but ended up struggling with. However, Riley had breathing complications that led to a five-day NICU stay. But it didn’t end there. Although Meghan thinks being a mother is “worth every stitch,” the first few months have challenged her. She’s choosing to look on the bright side, though. Seeing each lesson as an example of how precious life can be.
On breastfeeding: When you google it or look it up on YouTube? They don’t tell you why it can suck. I’ll tell you why it might suck! Sometimes your nipples aren’t big enough for your baby’s mouth. I didn’t know that was humanly possible!
On stretch-marks: A lot of women are out there posting their stretch marks, and they write, “I love my tiger stripes, they gave me my boy.” I love my baby, but I can’t look at my stretch marks and honestly say, “Wow, I love them,” you know?
On postpartum creativity: It feels like I’m telling my truth. I heard that when you have a baby, you get more creative, and my lyrics are changing. Instead of writing songs to make everyone feel better, I’m writing about how I feel in this moment. But it’s not like every day is sad. It’s more like: Yes, I am a badass, but this ain’t easy, and I have to get up and keep going.
On her parents: I just felt super-loved by my parents. They were really good to us. Still are—they’re at our house every day. I think that’s why I always wanted to be a mom too
On being a working mom: (It was) scary at first but it really helped that the team included so many other moms. I think about moms who don’t get to bring their kids to work, which is pretty much everybody, and it’s crazy to me.
What her therapist told her: “You’re not a bad mom, you’re a working mom, and you’re working to support your family and to love your family.” I think when you have a kid you just realize, ‘Wow, life is beautiful and precious. I want to be the best for my kid.’ I’ve never been more motivated.
To put some context on Meghan’s quote about realizing life is precious when you have a kid, remember that Meghan struggles with anxiety. So I don’t think she’s saying only people with kids understand how precious life is. Kids can be an incredible motivating factor when dealing with mental health. Not the only one, but a big one. Much of what Meghan discussed in her interview hits home with me. I couldn’t wait to be a mother and it was very different than I thought it would be. People don’t understand how you can love your kids a frightening amount but not love being a mom. I’m not saying that’s what Meghan’s saying. But it sounds like what she thought it was going to be like was very different. Because that’s what the SuperMom Complex tries to sell you. So it’s nice to hear people like Meghan admit things are hard sometimes, although I’m sorry to hear she struggled.
There weren’t any pull quotes, but the article talked a lot about Meghan’s husband and poop-partner, Daryl Sabara. She called him “Superdad.” He sounds like a great father. I hesitate to call him a Superdad because he appears to do what moms do every day, but I am happy that Meghan has such a wonderful support network with her husband, parents and brothers around her. Especially now that I know things have been bumpy for her. My family rallied around me when I was having a tough go of it. I don’t know how I would have made it without them.
OMG, Riley is so cute!
Photo credit: Parents Magazine and Instagram
Why does this baby’s face (in the first pic) look like he’s about to break up with her? 🤣
“Honestly, it’s not you; it’s me. I’m just focusing on me right now. I gotta get up on two legs without falling over, conquer more solid foods, I’ve got these teeth coming in…”
I have several family photos from important moments (weddings, holiday cards etc) where my husband and I have half-smiles or sorta-blinks or whatever ……but we finally got the baby to look happy so those are what we used. We actually like them more now.
True story- a family member of mine had a sweet picture of her playing with a friend’s infant in front of a Christmas tree. Couple years later, her own baby was not having it and there was a time crunch. She used the picture of her and her friend’s baby and no one knew the difference 🙂
For the life of me, I don’t understand the bias against c-sections. I didn’t have a choice about having one, it was planned, but I don’t understand why some parents treat it like a nightmare scenario? I’m genuinely confused by the whole thing.
And what Moms do everyday makes them superheroes, so a Dad doing the same makes them a superhero too. 🙂
or how precious being healthy is when you get an illness and are no longer healthy or you now you have a terminal illness and are dying or a family member is?
sick of hollyweid acting like they discovered having kids and how precious they are….
I think some of it too comes from the more recent “natural” push regarding child birth. The idea that epidurals and other medical interventions are not necessary and sort of interfere with what your body is “meant to do” is an idea I’ve been seeing crop up a LOT while pregnant.
Every woman should have a choice and control over her body, but those medical interventions exist for a reason, too. I’m hoping to go into childbirth with an open mind and remember that my main goal is a healthy baby and mama after everything.
I think that there’s this misconception that a lot of us don’t want c-sections because we want some badge of honor and to suffer with a vaginal/”natural” birth, and we think it’s the easy way out. Quite the opposite! I didn’t want a c-section because it’s major surgery, statistically riskier than a vaginal birth, and recovery can be rough. I had a scheduled c-section for the same reason as Meghan (breech baby, first baby so not a candidate for breech vaginal birth, placenta location made turning baby unlikely and risky), and it was a WONDERFUL experience thanks to my very crunchy doctor who did all the hippie-dippie things. I had a good recovery. I have no resentment towards it because it was necessary, but of course I still wish things would have played out differently so that I could have avoided surgery. You can recognize that a c-section is necessary but also wish it hadn’t been.
I was really worried about the recovery from one. But honestly my friends who have had them recovered very easily (I know not everyone does). They couldn’t lift much (like those terrible car seats), but otherwise functioned fine. A few even skipped prescription meds and just used OTC meds
I had a CS too. My monster-truck 10# baby and his giant head was stuck. Of course I wanted it to happen at the time but I was truly disappointed for a few months. After that, I didn’t care at all.
That said, the CS rate in the US is very high, about 30%. When I was a pediatric nurse in L&D we were all of sudden very busy with CS births on Friday afternoons. Two doctors were especially famous for it.
It’s a complex issue and has a bit of a dark side.
https://www.theatlantic.com/ideas/archive/2019/10/c-section-rate-high/600172/
Songs, not sure about now, but there was a time when c-section was forcibly suggested by certain doctors because they got paid more for that over natural births. So our parents were warned by family doctors to not go the C-section route unless it was necessary, because they were suggesting women who didn’t even need to have one, to do it. Also, C-section has a longer healing period for mothers, and higher risk of complications after the birth.
My mom had 9 kids, with a c-section on her 6th and 8th. She said she would never recommend one unless it was the only option, because her healing after Cs was so long and more painful compared to after all of her natural births!
It’s still happening – I agree with your comments. The key word is “necessary”.
Ugh the Superdad thing bothers me. My husband got called Superdad at the doctors office when he took our five month in for Covid tests solo because I was too sick. Yet I do a good portion of the day to day work solo. Just because he took the twins out solo ONCE, suddenly he’s Superdad. We also have a 6 and 7 year old and my husband works night, so a lot of the time I’m doing four kids solo. I don’t think I’ve ever been called Supermom.
Tootsie, I will say it: you ARE a Supermom! Sending you strength, not that you need it. 😉
Tootsie, you’re a SUPERMOM! 💖
It’s some bs double standards isn’t it? Men get praised for doing the minimum while women can never do enough.
Her son looks just like her husband, it’s kind of hilarious lol. As for being a mom, I’ve never not heard from anyone who became a mom that it wasn’t hard. I guess it’s just way harder than anyone realizes when it finally happens to you (I don’t have kids hence the I guess).
Man, that’s a cute baby.
Came here to say verbatim the same. That face!
he reminds me of Mason Reese, a little kid who got famous in the 70s doing commercials.
https://www.metv.com/lists/the-seven-most-memorable-mason-reese-commercials-of-the-1970s
He’s looks like a tiny Corey Feldman!
I’ve never had a C-section, I don’t have kids, but I have a C-section scar. I had 12 fibroids removed, one was over 5 lbs. with all of the blood drained. In my eyes, it was an easy surgery to recover from. (And yes, I understand it’s different from delivering a child via C-section.) My best friend had 2 (1st one was an emergency) and said the 2nd was a dream delivery.
As for Meghan’s comment on the stretch marks, I totally agree. I’ve had stretch marks since I was 12 and can’t stand them lol… do women actually say they love them?? Weird.
@ Lizzie Bathory the cuuuuutest.
It’s nice to hear a different perspective than “its amazing”. I couldn’t breastfeed – I didn’t make enough, but in all honesty I hated my kid for being the little tiny dictator. I was so upset I couldn’t take cough medicine when I got pnemonia. Switching to formula was the best decision ever, it helped with my feelings of inadequacy and resentment. I also love my kid more than life itself, but at time hate being a Mom. We need to be more open about these things and non-judgemental. Some people struggle with parenthood, it doesn’t make me less of a good Mom.
Omg this yes. I love my son but sometimes I hate being a mom.
I do not like my stretch marks. I hated sharing my body during pregnancy. I had almost no supply and hated pumping and my son was very jaundiced so we switched quickly to formula and that was a Godsend. It was nice to be in control of my own body again and not sharing it.
I don’t love my post baby body (he is now almost 3 and I just turned 40 and I am doing OK but I miss my pre baby body).
My husband works nights so I do a lot of solo stuff with our son.
I love being his mommy I just don’t always love parenting. Especially after a long day at my full time job. And especially on weekend mornings because I never get to sleep in.
Sometimes hating the work and grind of parenting does not make me a bad mom.
@Kristen D & @StrawberryBlonde
Both of your stories sound so similar to mine with regard to breastfeeding, having to switch my son to formula after almost zero milk supply. He was losing weight and jaundiced as well, so making that change after a week of torture was extremely relieving for me, and I held guilt at the time for even being relieved. I worked through it and love being a mom, and he is 9 now, super fun age. Anyway, I’m feeling warm fuzzies just from reading your stories right now and seeing that some of my difficult experiences as a mom that happened when I felt extremely alone, are shared with others out there, even if rationally I already knew my experience was not unique, and the shared experience is negative.
That’s the reason we all need to share our experiences (in general not just with parenting), especially things where you feel alone in it. Thanks for being kick-ass moms. sharing your stories, you brightened my day!
Also, Megan’s baby is adorable! Aaaaand the shared-toilet thing with her husband is the worst thing I’ve ever freakin heard.
Baby is so cute!
I never realized so much of her journey mimicked mine at the time. Yeah, I always wanted to be a mom and couldn’t wait for it to happen. My pregnancy was the worst pain I would never wish on my worst enemy type pain. I had undiagnosed HG and couldn’t move, not even a little bit, without feeling terribly ill. I was excited when labor happened, but surprise surprise little nugget decided to be breech. My perfect natural birth plan flew out the window and hello scheduled C-section. And no one warned me of the post-partum pain, like bending or walking in heels, and even taking a shower took twice as long. I loved my nugget but I hated the process to become a mom and sometimes all of the extra emotional stuff that goes along with that. I’m glad she’s speaking about how not perfect it can be. I also get her phrase about realizing life is precious. I instantly lost so much interest in the anxiety of my job because I realized it wasn’t important.