Shawn Mendes has been speaking more openly about his mental health. That’s a good thing not only because of the people he will help, but it sounds like Shawn’s been struggling. I’m not saying he needs help, just that I hope saying things out loud has given him some peace. In his latest admission, which he posted to Twitter, Shawn discussed the highs and lows of life. He likened them to feeling like either “flying or drowning” and many people related to what he was saying. Shawn also touched on how he thought success would make him feel one way, but he can still feel like a failure. Shawn wanted to reach out to people who might feel the same way. He also said he’s fine, we don’t need to worry about him, he just wanted to let his fans who felt the same know they aren’t alone. Here is what he posted to Twitter:
sometimes i ask my self what it is that i should
be doing with my life and what i always hear in
return is “to tell the truth, to be the truth”
i feel like that’s a hard thing to do though.
i’m afraid that if people know and see the truth
they might think less of me. They might become
bored of me.
so in those moments of feeling low i either put
on a show or hide.
The truth, in current form is a 23 year old who
constantly feels like he’s either flying or
drowning. Maybe that’s just what it is to be in
your 20’s idk, or maybe that’s just me.
the truth is i really do wanna show up in the
world as my 100% true honest unique self and
not care what anyone thinks, sometimes i do!!
sometimes i really don’t care what people think
and i feel free. most of the time its a struggle tho
That’s the truth
The truth is even with so much success i still find
it hard to feel like i’m not failing.
hyper focused on what i don’t have, forgetting to
see all that i do.
The truth is i’m overwhelmed and overstimulated
lol
the truth is ALSO that i’m okay.
I’m just tryna tell and be the truth
i like to think that maybe me saying this might resonate with some people
CB reported on relating to Tracee Ellis Ross’ feelings about highs and lows as well. It’s a horrible feeling, it’s like having the wind knocked out of you and I think many people experience it but don’t talk about it. There’s layers to the success part that Shawn mentioned. There’s the simple beating ourselves up, which almost everyone does. But there’s also the point Natasha Lyonne made last week about how we focus so much on winning or losing, we lose sight of the small victories along the way.
I felt what Shawn was saying about wanting to share these feelings with others on social media without worrying people. I’m constantly tweeting and deleting because of this. I battle with wanting to show people my reality, all my dark times and thoughts, but instead of helping anyone, people just feel sorry for me. Which happened to Shawn on this tweet, too. Many reached out to him with love and many said they empathized. But enough people expressed concern that he followed up with a few “I’m okay” tweets:
im honestly so okay! i just wanna communicate with you guys in a real honest way. so i just typed i big old note out for you lol
— Shawn Mendes (@ShawnMendes) April 20, 2022
and i guess im like damn if i’m feeling this with all of the blessings i have i imagine there must be so many people feeling this and just don’t want them to feel alone !!
— Shawn Mendes (@ShawnMendes) April 20, 2022
It’s really hard to live honestly. People have a habit of telling you that you’rea bummer. Strangers like to chime in with how to “fix it.” I know exactly what Shawn is talking about in every line. I hope one day I have the guts to post something similar… and leave it up.
Photo credit: Instagram, Twitter and Avalon Red
Hecate, I hear you ❤
Also, working with actors, I see this a lot. There are so many expectations of what achievement looks like, and even when they achieve BIG there’s a sort of crushing disappointment, or anti-climax. Forever chasing validation from strangers will do that to you.
I love this topic, it needs more awareness. Simply because I believe a lot of us go through this regardless of our profession. The life we live (I am from NY) is extremely demanding and is not compatible with what’s best for our health (mental or physical). We have no balance just extremes and it’s a struggle to find what makes us happy. Happiness feels like a blimp whereas the perpetual highs and lows are continuous which in turn can lead to anxiety.
Also from NYC, I recently had a conversation with coworkers where I ended up sharing that I feel like most days when I wake up I feel kinda bored. As in this is it, life is mostly just day to day functioning and trying to look forward to some sort of vacation or big personal event/milestone. Which can just lead to feeling depressed and anxious. I mean I feel ok but also just realizing it seems common. You would not believe the amount of people who just thought I was a buzzkill and looked at me like I had 3 heads. Outside of therapy, people really don’t care to talk about these things.
Yesterday I thought I was about to get discharged from therapy after roughly 3 years when I decided I needed to be 100% honest with myself in that I’m not done, there’s still an issue being, well, an issue. We’re so used to pretending, to thinking that if we say we’re OK, we’re going to be OK. And that usually postpones healing. It’s like needing stitches and thinking a band-aid will do, so you hold on to it even if the cut hurts every day. And most people don’t want to listen that you’re not OK because most of us are struggling with someting, especially once COVID-19 happened.
IDK what the point of my comment is, perhaps to say I’m not entirely OK and that’s fine too. That my lows and highs are here for a reason, and that I have to keep working towards being OK and healed.
Hi Hecate,
I always love your articles. I find that there is a vulnerability to them that makes them endearing. The older I get, the more I realize that the ability to be vulnerable is a true superpower in this world. I hope you continue to nurture that part of you.