I love the Swiss. Up until now my feelings for them had been mostly neutral (ha). But now I have a special fondness for them, and their complete refusal to fall for any of Roman Polanski’s bullsh*t. And his lawyers have tried to pull so much stuff, I can’t help but think they might have had some success in another country. But today the Swiss made it clear they’re not letting Polanski out of jail for any reason, and they know exactly what he’s up to. He was officially denied bail, though he does have 10 days to appeal.

That’s strike two. For the second time since his controversial bust last month, a Swiss court has denied director Roman Polanski bail, deeming the 76-year-old auteur a high flight risk and ruling that he will remain in jail ahead of his possible extradition to the United States. In handing down her trilingual ruling, Swiss Federal Criminal Court Judge Cornelia Cova this morning also rejected any number of alternative proposals from Polanski’s team, among them allowing the director to post bail or be placed under house arrest at his chalet in Gstaad.

You know what they say: Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the luxury resort-accommodated time… “The court considered the risk that Roman Polanski might flee if released from custody as high,” the ruling read. Typical measures, such as revoking his passport and requiring him to report daily to police, were not strong enough guarantees he would stay put, per the court, particularly as the well-connected Polanski potentially has any number of private jets or helicopters at his disposal.

Handing in his travel documents would also not stymie him for long as his dual citizenship in both France and Poland would make it easier to obtain a second, new set. “The detention of the accused during the entire extradition proceedings is the rule. This allows Switzerland to meet the obligations of its extradition treaties.” What’s a guy got to do to get a jail break? Other than fall mysteriously ill, or, you know, not have sex with a 13-year-old in the first place.

Polanski has 10 days to appeal the ruling to the Swiss Supreme Court or to the Swiss Justice Ministry, which also has the power to step in and free him. The United States, meanwhile, has until Nov. 25 to formalize its extradition request.

[From E! News]

It sucks when you can’t chill in your chalet instead of your jail cell. I love the way the judge saw through each and every argument. Most of the time judges do, but they sometimes will grant requests based on technicalities. But in this case, you can just tell there’s nothing Polanski’s lawyers could have said that would get him home. The guy would run, it’s that simple. I don’t know the future but I’m not a dumbass.

Enjoy Swiss jail while you can, Polanski. It’ll seem like a chalet compared to American jail.