Jessica and Ken Paves

One of the big stories yesterday was the alleged “date” between Gerard Butler and Jessica Simpson. Everything originated from Page Six, who had a source who claimed, “They were at a table with friends, but Jessica and Gerard, who sat next to each other, seemed to only be interested in each other and chatted for hours. They were laughing and flirting and eventually left together, along with Ken [Paves].” As many know, Ken Paves is totally Jessica’s gay BFF. I don’t mean that in any kind of coy frenemy way, I really do think Jessica and Ken love and adore each other, and I think they have a very genuine friendship. I’m not sure what it means for Jessica’s chances for getting laid, but I’d like to think that Ken would be able to read her signals and gracefully exit if it looked like she and Gerard needed some alone time.

Since Page Six broke the story, nearly every media outlet spent Thursday playing catch up and trying to through together as many anonymous quotes as possible. People Magazine had one of the bitchiest quotes, in my opinion. The “source” sounded like a woman scorned by Gerard. The source said: “I’m never surprised to hear that Gerard is with someone new. None of those relationships last. Certainly he’s not planning on settling down with Jessica Simpson … Gerard plays the field … and Jessica is lonely … and she lost weight and is looking good. Every time you hear about him out with someone, he’s flirting and ‘cozy’ with them and making googly eyes at them. Maybe that’s just what he does with everyone. Maybe that’s just how he is.” Bitchy, yes? I don’t know why the “source” didn’t just cut to the chase and say, “Gerard flirts with everyone, even fat girls like Jessica.” Which he does, by the way. Gerard is an equal opportunity horndog.

Other sources claimed some kind of variation on the “they’re probably just casual friends, I dunno, maybe sexy times?” Us Weekly’s “source close to Jessica” claims, “There is nothing romantic there at all.” Meanwhile, Radar had an interesting (and maybe true) take on the background of the dinner date. Radar claims that Gerard and Jessica were introduced through Jessica’s makeup artist Jeanna Robinette, who is apparently friends with Gerard (translation: he nailed her). Radar gives us this too: “They all had dinner together last week, too.” Hm… two dinners in two weeks. Interesting.

What’s their couple name, by the way? Gersica? Jessard? Or When Boobs Met Moobs? I have no idea. In any case, there’s some addition news on Gersica, separately. First, Jessica: In Touch Weekly has a nice little story about how Jessica is feeling really good about herself these days. She apparently told IT: “I am happy trying to get to know myself right now. No matter how much people try to bring me down, I am always getting back up. I don’t care what you say about me, I believe I’m beautiful.” Well, that’s nice. She’s not very bright, but she’s not nasty about anything. For the most part. And she and Ken Paves are also headed to India– home of lots of eligible bachelors who will probably be utterly charmed by Jessica’s ditziness.

Meanwhile, Gerry kind of announced that he will be taking a supporting role in a film version of Shakespeare’s Coriolanus, with Ralph Fiennes as director and starring as Coriolanus. I saw this play many years ago at the Washington D.C. Shakespeare theatre and I loved it. I bet Ralph will do a good job with it, although he is a little too old for the lead. But whatever, two of my favorite men in the same movie! Hurray! William Hurt and Vanessa Redgrave have also signed on. Excellent. Jessica won’t get the story, though.

Header photo of Jessica and Ken Paves is from Jessica’s Twitter.