Elliot Page, of Umbrella Academy, Inception, and Juno fame (among others) has written a new piece for Esquire. The piece is described as: “In his own words, the actor and advocate talks about his childhood, his career, his transition, and his life, though not necessarily in that order.” Elliot came out as non-binary transgender in late 2020 and has spoken of his transition previously. Elliot is working on a memoir, Pageboy, to be released next year so perhaps this is a preview of what’s to come.
What he’s learned from transitioning: I can’t overstate the biggest joy, which is really seeing yourself. I know I look different to others, but to me I’m just starting to look like myself. It’s indescribable, because I’m just like, there I am. And thank God. Here I am. So the greatest joy is just being able to feel present, literally, just to be present. To go out in a group of new people and be able to engage in a way where I didn’t feel this constant sensation to flee from my body, this never-ending sensation of anxiety and nervousness and wanting out.
The reaction to his transition: I didn’t expect it to be so big. In terms of the actual quality of the response, it was what I expected: love and support from many people and hatred and cruelty and vitriol from so many others. I came out as gay in 2014, and it’s different. Transphobia is just so, so, so extreme. The hatred and the cruelty is so much more incessant.
“Cancel culture” and transphobia: It really breaks my heart. It really breaks my heart. That’s literally all we’re trying to communicate. That’s what’s so funny to me. When people say, Cancel this. Cancel that. No, they get four more comedy specials and have a jillion followers! The people getting canceled are the trans people who are suffering, or killing themselves, or murdered.
Being a dog dad: I love being a dog dad. I need that in my life. I don’t even know where to begin with Mo; I’m so obsessed with him. My heart breaks at the thought of mortality whenever I think of him. Kids? No. I feel like I’ve also had to take care of myself so much. I’m obsessed with my dog. That’s my kid. I’m good with that. I mean, if I met someone who had a kid, I’m not completely closed off to the idea that maybe when I’m older, I could adopt a kid who’s older, you know. But no.
The whole piece is worth a read since I’m definitely not doing it justice. But I found it illuminating and Elliot really shows how his identity affected every aspect of his life growing up, from playing soccer as a kid to being forced to wear dresses during promo for Juno. What he says about cancel culture is spot on. People — usually jerks who get well-deserved backlash — like to lament the rise of “cancel culture,” but it’s not real and very few people have been truly canceled. They continue to have fans and continue to get comedy specials, while others are suffering for just wanting to be themselves and live their truths. At another point, Elliot says “It’s really funny, since the book announcement, I’ve had three random, suspiciously timed apologies pop up. Interesting timing.” I wish he’d name names! It’s also interesting what he said about being a dog dad and not being interested in having his own kids because he’s had to spend so much time taking care of himself. Now that he is living his truth it makes sense he would want to enjoy that.
Photos credit: Avalon.red and via Instagram
He’s a lovely young man who has had to go through so much to make his outside match his inside. I wish transphobic yahoos would stop willfully hurting people who haven’t go through so much pain to become the person they know themselves to be. Oh, and comedians making trans “jokes” ? What’s the old adage about not punching down?
This is something I really just can’t fathom, why do so many people have so much hatred and vitriol for others who are trans, why? Is it because of politicisation/culture wars, is there something else? Why is someone else living a happier and more fulfilled life an issue?
Agreed. And it literally does not affect strangers lives at all except if we are the children or spouse of the people who are trans. And those people are not the ones spewing hate all over the place.
Because religious people are nuts.
It’s not even religion though from what I am seeing. It’s people who feel that they have a right to tell other people, that they are not comfortable with, how to live their lives. It’s not right.
Instinctively some people fear what they don’t understand, instead of being curious.
Some people fear change, instead of embracing it.
And some people are just too comfortable in their own illusions of what this world is, that any other reality presented is seen as a threat.
There are psychological reasons and explanations to it, and it is exploited by people with the right influence and amount of money.
We see it in religion, in cultures, even within family structures.
It’s always been this black and white perception, without even concidering the greys or the colors.
It must be exhausting living in fear like that.
@ LIONE, I am sorry that I responded to the same question, but your response is a much more intellectual answer.
No words for the amount of gratitude I feel for this site’s support of transgenderism.
Thank you, truly.
My step-son is trans. He came out to us about 5 years ago but he took time (therapy, speaking with doctors, etc) before starting to transition last year. He wanted to go to college in transition. What a difference a year makes! Although he will always be more introverted, he is so much more self-assured, mature and happier in general. He has a girlfriend and he said to me that he feels the most natural he has ever felt in his life. Although I may never understand what it feels like to be in his shoes, I am so happy for him! Now if he would only find a summer job- haha!
@ Soni, I am so happy for your step-son!! I am ecstatic that he is happy!! I wish him the best and his best years have just started!!! Though, I am certain that the thought of having to find a summer job is not very appealing, like all teenagers!!
I was really moved by his description of what it was like during promos for Juno. We put so much pressure on people to conform, to decide, to be one thing or another.
How much happier would people as a whole be if we gave them room to figure things out, to experiment and then decide.
Happy that he is finally in a good place.
Good for him!
The Umbrella Academy is a really, really, really good show and the “superhero genre” is something I typically loathe.
I can’t imagine what it must be like to finally start to recognize your true self in the mirror in your mid thirties. Elliot sounds really happy. Good for him, especially in this time of targeted hatred against trans people. Everyone deserves happiness & safety.
On a superficial note–the pictures look great!
@ Lizzie Bathory, I agree. I can’t imagine what it is like to look in the mirror, day after day, feeling like there is something wrong. Why do I feel like a captive inside my own body? Not the me I am supposed to be.
For Elliot, I am incredibly happy and am filled with joy that he is finally free to live his life as who he has always wanted to be. I am grateful for his openness, his actions and his willingness to share his personal journey. I am incredibly happy for him. Elliot is a champion for everyone that is experiencing what he did all those years before now.
I am not personally familiar with the internal feelings of transgender people but I have tried to imagine how they are struggling. One thing I do know, is that every person has the right to fulfill their needs of freedom. It’s not right that people should have a say whether they can or cannot do this, as they lives their lives as freely in their comfort. I say this as I watch the neanderthals here in Texas have started allowing parents of transgender children are being subjected to being investigated by our state agency, CPS, for cases regarding child abuse of children that are transgender. Which is what Elliot is telling us is happening and it is, here in the worst state of Texas. Abbott made it his personal mission to ostracize transgender children and they are suffering at his hands. Abbott’s actions will cause irreparable harm to all of these children. My god, may Abbott be struck by lightening. Please!!
Neanderthals is RIGHT, BothSides! My daughter, her partner, Leah, who is trans, my 3 grandkids, and I live in Austin–which is still Texas. Next week we’re driving (in 2 cars–groan!) to Vermont to stay at her partner’s family summer home on Lake St. Catherine. This will be the first time Leah’s mom sees her post-transition. Fortunately, she is accepting. Leah and my daughter have a 4-month-old baby together; he was conceived before the hormone therapy ended. Frankly, I am terrified of this trip, where we’ll be driving through Arkansas, Tennessee, Missouri, Kentucky, and Ohio. Leah is 6’4″ and gorgeous, but refuses to “tone it down” for any reason, so it’s going to be full makeup, glamorous hair, and flamboyant clothes all the way. She will be lucky not to be shot while pumping gas and using the public restroom in Tennessee alone. Wish us luck. My 10-year-old grandson has informed us that he’s non-binary gender-fluid, and his boyfriend is trans. Again, this is Texas, and the boyfriend’s parents live in terror of having their son taken away because they’re “child abusers.” Greg Abbott, Ted Cruz, and the rest of them are monsters. (Go, BETO!!!) We fervently wish we could move to a different part of the country immediately. However, anti-trans legislation and hatred is frighteningly widespread. I’m not optimistic about our country. I’m 74 and thought I’d seen it all….Nope.
Reminds me of Justin Bieber but with better abs. Those are impressive.
I’m happy he finally feels like himself.
That and I am loving his ring!!! He looks fabulous in these photos!! Though I can’t read all of tats as I am curious what they say.
Dog tax, please! We want Mo!
To the commentor who posted on why people care so much. What is often overlooked is how much money the right spends on messaging to stoke the culture wars. On anti-trans messaging alone, the right spends almost a billion dollars a year to figure out not only how to message but also political and psychological strategies to make people care and, not only make them care, but make them afraid.
THIS. THIS A MILLION TIMES. Just like the right didn’t care about abortion until they needed to make an issue of it for political reasons, the right are pumping it up to fuel hate and trying to pretend its to protect children (won’t somebody think of the children!!!/s)
I wish that at least comedians, even left leaning comedians, would move on and be less lazy in their comedy. No one is censoring them. They’re clearly still rich. I wish they’d be more original for their comedy bits & $$$.
Yes!!!! And those same pr!cks will be running uncontrollably on the tv’s, radio and all other platforms to decry that Democrats are coming for ALL of your guns!!! Just as they have in the last 2+ decades!!!! Their fear mongering is atrocious and should be banned!!! It’s the ONLY way that they maintain their power and positions in Government 🤬
Wow. I didn’t know it was that much, but that makes sense. Any time someone who happens to be trans does something bad, it gets reported on obsessively by bigots in a way to justify hating or fearing all transgender people. But whenever groups of men they feel are worthy of society’s respect and defense are ‘attacked’ for any behavior, they cry reverse racism, religious persecution, or misandry.
God, he’s so hot!
I wished we lived in a world where people like Elliot didn’t have to become a spokesperson on behalf of a whole community because people are so uneducated and closed-minded they can’t live in a world where people just LIVE THEIR LIFE THE WAY THAT MAKES THEM HAPPY. Ugh..
As a 39F mom of a trans son(~15) I appreciate Elliott’s frankness and visibility here, and I know and wish he didn’t have to carry so much burden as maybe the most prominent trans male out there, but I find, maybe because I feel like I grew up watching his movies/shows, I find seeing him change and getting to see those scars and hear his euphoria trickle in helps me feel reassured for my own son that it will be okay. My son is pretty neutral about him, I guess he has his own role models he’s found on youtube that he cares more about, but it helps me to see these articles and appearances and see how its going and it feels normalizing, like I have an extra friend going through it (I guess parasocially), if that makes any sense.
I wish him the best and it’s wonderful to feel the joy coming through his words.
I finally read George (alternate title: Melissa) this week, by Alex Gino. It was heart-warming & tender and it opened my eyes to how a child might feel.
As a longtime reader who is semi-recently out as transmasc, thank you for this! It’s such an intense and specific journey. Much love to the celebitchy crew for covering this so sweetly.