This may be the biggest comeback story of the year, and all Bronson Pinchot had to do was give one gossipy, hilarious, intelligent interview to The Onion’s AV Club. Earlier this week, we reported on Pinchot’s interview, where he slammed Tom Cruise (as “homophobic” and “the biggest bore”), Denzel Washington (describing Denzel’s attitude as “cowardly” and “abusive”) and Bette Midler (a “bitch”). The interview has been getting a lot of play, and the Wall Street Journal decided to contact Bronson to see if he wanted to pull any takesies-backsies. He didn’t. He even goes after Denzel harder:

The Wall Street Journal: Were you serious or joking when you said Tom Cruise made “constant unrelated homophobic comments” while on the “Risky Business” set?
Pinchot: The context of the question was, “how did he strike me as a person” at a point in his career when he was a virtual unknown. And my answer was that, coming straight out of the world of theater, as essentially all the supporting male actors did, where homophobic language was not heard, I remember thinking his use of it was remarkable and excessive; however, it is also true to say, in hindsight, that for a 20 year-old with no background in theater, such language is actually unremarkable. Which I did not know at 23.

What about the remark that Denzel Washington is one of the most unpleasant people you’ve met?
I regret my choice of words there, and would like to amend my statement by saying I found his willingness to be ungenerous, unkind, knowingly hurtful both mentally and physically to myself and the crew to be the saddest misuse of stardom I have ever experienced or hope to experience.

Did either actor, or their reps, contact you after the story broke?
No.

Are you surprised at how quickly your remarks went viral on the Web?
Yes.

What do you think of celebrities who have Twitter accounts and Facebook pages?
Well, I am on Twitter but I have no idea how to use it.

Is it strange to suddenly be in the media spotlight again?
Being in the spotlight is the same as riding a bicycle or having a zit; once you’ve experienced it, no matter how much time goes by, it’s just like old times.

Have you heard from anyone unexpected?
My mom called and said she very much liked the Onion article because I said I was sorry for being brittle with Rebeca Arthur (who played my girlfriend on Perfect Strangers) toward the end of the run. And I am.

In interviews, do you generally talk openly and honestly about people you’ve worked with/experiences you’ve had in the industry?
I don’t believe I ever have been quite so forthcoming as I was in The Onion. In the same spirit of letting-it-all-hang out, I mentioned less-than-admirable aspects of various people, I don’t think I was any less forthcoming about my own weak points. Of course, no excerpted version of the Onion article will ever be able to communicate that, and it doesn’t make a juicy sound byte, but it’s true.

What if, for instance, I asked you what Scorsese was like on the set of “After Hours” or what you think of Eddie Murphy who you appeared with in the Beverly Hills Cop movies, would you answer forthrightly?
Yes, absolutely. Scorsese gave me a great one-liner for all my film work, for all time, and Eddie has seen the highs and the lows and is still gettin’ ‘er did.

[From The Wall Street Journal]

I’m surprised Xenu hasn’t issued a missive to all of his minions: “Take Down Balki.” But maybe Tom has bigger fish to fry. And, hey, maybe in Tom’s eyes it’s not such a bad thing for a former costar to describe you as a homophobe and a bore. That’s certainly not the worst thing Tom’s ever been called. As for Denzel… well, I’m willing to acknowledge that he may be a total douche. I’m taking Balki’s word for it.