In May 2019, Constance Wu was in the center of a pretty big gossip story. At the time, Constance was one of the biggest breakouts in Hollywood. She was riding high on the success of Crazy Rich Asians, and Hustlers would come out later that year. She was also, at the time, the lead in ABC’s Fresh Off the Boat, which had already been on air for four seasons. ABC renewed the show for a fifth season, and when the news came out about the renewal, Constance decided to tweet through it. She tweeted “So upset right now that I’m literally crying. Ugh. F–k” and “f–king hell.” She made additional comments online, on social media. There was significant backlash online and within Hollywood too – you’d be foolish to think that ABC and CRA producers didn’t notice. It was a bad newscycle for her, and she spent months trying to walk back the incident in interviews. Now it appears that the whole incident was even worse than we thought. Much much worse. Wu made her first appearance on social media in years to post this (trigger warning):
I feel so sorry for her and I’m glad she had some time away to heal and get help. Reading her interviews after the Fresh Off the Boat tweets, it was clear that she was/is a very emotional, sensitive and anxious person and that she felt pretty awful about all of it. Part of the problem is that there are so few Asian women and Asian-American women in media/Hollywood, so the few that we do see are held to these insane standards of always having to be perfect/grateful and perfectly representative of the Asian-American community. It f–king sucks that Wu was iced out, and it’s completely bonkers that an Asian actress DM’d her with that crap.
If you or someone you know is considering suicide, please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), text "STRENGTH" to the Crisis Text Line at 741-741 or go to https://t.co/rRfEpX8Lhm
— Constance Wu (@ConstanceWu) July 14, 2022
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.
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- LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, USA – JUNE 22: American actress Constance Wu wearing Falguni Shane Peacock arrives at the Los Angeles Premiere Of Amazon Prime Video’s ‘The Terminal List’ Season 1 held at the Directors Guild of America Theater Complex on June 22, 2022 in Los Angeles, California, United States.,Image: 702148016, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Constance Wu, Credit line: Xavier Collin / Image Press Agency / Avalon
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- LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA, USA – JUNE 22: American actress Constance Wu wearing Falguni Shane Peacock arrives at the Los Angeles Premiere Of Amazon Prime Video’s ‘The Terminal List’ Season 1 held at the Directors Guild of America Theater Complex on June 22, 2022 in Los Angeles, California, United States.,Image: 702148290, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Constance Wu, Credit line: Xavier Collin / Image Press Agency / Avalon
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- LOS ANGELES, CA – JUNE 22: Constance Wu attends “The Terminal List” Los Angeles premiere at DGA Theater Complex on June 22, 2022 in Los Angeles, California.,Image: 702161764, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Constance Wu, Credit line: Jeffrey Mayer / Avalon
I had a plan to do it but I never attempted it.
@Lucy – I’m glad you never attempted. And I hope you are in a better place now. Sending big hugs your way.
I am so sorry that you had a plan to die by suicide. That is really scary. So many of us feel depressed and hopeless. You are not alone and you are a valued part of this world. Feeling suicidal is serious. There are people on this planet who want to support you and be with you in your pain and help you find hope. There is another side and none of us are meant to get there alone. Please reach out for support. I don’t know what country you’re in, but below is a list of all the suicide crisis lines available in every country in the world. Be gentle with yourself. You deserve and are meant to be here.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_suicide_crisis_lines
Lucy, I hope you are doing better.
Lucy, I’m so glad you are okay. You have a community here to come to if you need support. Tomorrow, July 16, begins a nationwide suicide prevention service, 988. It it’s a suicide prevention and mental health hotline.
@ Giddy, I just read about that! Replying to amplify the info for those who also did not know. Dialing 911 in a mental health crisis is *so* dangerous when you have an untrained and sorry, uncaring and often violent response from police.
[My neighbor was heartbreakingly murdered during one such call.]
Hoping this new initiative and new number 988 saves many lives
Glad you’re here, Lucy
Omg Lucy, I hope you’ve healed enough to never have to have that thought ever again. The people who love you would miss you so so so much and you’d would have been missing so many things in Life.
@ Lucy, I am so sorry that you were at that point. I hope that you are at a much better place emotionally! Sending you hugs and excellent juju!! 🤗🤗
Lucy
Good you didn’t go through with it. It’s something that doesn’t always work and having to explain your failed attempt can be more awful. It’s best not to at all to add to the list of reasons not to.
She is a lot, but getting iced out of existence for an outburst and being told you’re a disgrace to the Asian.community? The intention in saying something like that to someone IS to get them to kill themselves, whether you like it or not, especially in some Asian cultures. We need to have more open discussions about the dirty little secrets in all our cultures, because each harbors some pretty toxic and unforgivable skeletons.
So true. The things Asian women have to do and be to be considered the ‘right’ kind of representation for our communities, and the ways people feel entitled to react when they’re not getting that from you, can be very burdensome and damaging. Sometimes it feels like pressure to be perfect. Other times it feels like pressure to sell your soul and embrace bad things being done to certain groups of people, or at least pretend to be ok with those things to prove loyalty to a culture and avoid becoming a target for people comfortable in their own bigotry. I know it’s not just Asian women, I’ve seen other women of color get crapped on for similar reasons.
So true. I am disappointed to find that in Asian communities, people are culturally more competitive towards each other and not as supportive as we could/should be towards one another. I guess the top sports are so rare for minorities that we’ve come to be that way? Constance gave very divaesque vibes at the time which were a total turn off to me, but Im sure that the other asian actress who DM’d her was just jealous because she was on a roll. The younger generations will change those outdated ways. I hope they get the mental health and wellness that we missed without knowing for a long time.
When I 1st got into Asian dramas way back in 2006, I didn’t realize how high the suicide rate was amongst celebs in Asia! It was extremely high even back then, especially amongst Asian women. Some, committed suicide after being forced into prostitution by producers, talent agents, etc. I pray things have improved for the better over the past 17 years, but with men still in charge, I doubt it!!😔
And while she’s speaking about Asain Americans, she right about mental health not being talked about enough in the Asian community worldwide. Most of my Asian colleagues attest to that being the case.
P.s. I’m so glad a friend was able to find her in time and helped save her life.🙏🏾
@Truthsf…I was JUST talking to my MIL about this and she’s been watching Asian shows for years too and she said the EXACT SAME THANG😪
I didn’t know about this.
What made people so angry about the tweet? Did she want out of the series because she got better opportunities?
By the way, Twitter is the worst. Seems at least 80% of tweets is people hating each other or someone else. Even bad insults become commonplace in a toxic environment like that.
Yeah, she wanted out of the series to capitalise on her growing film success.
The reaction was the very stale “know your place, get back in your box” smackdown that any woman who’s openly expressed ambition is familiar with.
Sad that I’m going to be side-eyeing any Asian actors that come out in support of her, considering it seems like no one stood up for her at the time. Wonder if we’ll ever find out which actress sent the message.
I thought part of the context, and i may be mistaken was how she treated people on her show and her colleagues on that project as well so this didn’t happen in isolation.
I think you can absolutely call her out for that but the manner in which she was called out was very ugly.
I feel terrible for CW that she tried to end her life after this instance, and I don’t want to minimize the gravity of that at all.
But to answer @Flowerlake & @SAS, and to add to what @Sunny said, just to clarify why those tweets were met with such anger, it was also because the rest of the cast and crew were of course waiting hopefully to be picked up for a new season, because it meant they would have jobs. Apparently Wu was trying to prevent a renewal because yes, she had become a major film star the previous year with CRA.
But at the time, the sentiment in social media (at least as I witnessed it) wasn’t so much “stay in your lane/know your place” as it was “by trying to end the show so you can reach higher levels of fame, you are actively seeking to put hundreds of people out of a job.”
Now, whether that kind of response/interpretation is gendered and/or raced, I don’t know – I’m sure there are lots of rising stars of all genders and races who might feel dismay when their show is picked up for another season and they therefore need to turn down other opportunities. But I (personally, so I may just be unaware) haven’t seen those kinds of comments made so publicly and forcefully as Wu did – so I can’t speak to what public response might be.
But Wu seems to imply that even the public nature of her reaction may have actually been a symptom that she was already struggling with mental health issues, so a time when she needed MORE support, not less.
And as @Sunny said, you can call a person out for thoughtless remarks, or point to the ways their statements may have implications for others that they hadn’t considered, in better, kinder ways.
It would likely be more effective (the recipient of feedback would be more likely to listen and learn), plus, if one is so mad someone’s remarks may have harmed others that one causes that person harm with the correcting remarks, one’s not doing anything different than what they are criticizing anther of, right?
Thanks for explaining everyone.
If she was actively working against a renewal, it must have been hurtful to people who were dependent on the job.
At the same time, it is awful that she got such a backlash. That’s why indeed Twitter is so bad. In another time, not that long ago (before Twitter and the like) this would not have been broadcasted all over the world, with any troll or hateful person being able to get involved. It could have been resolved with the people actually involved and not just millions of outsiders reading and being able to add their hate etc.
IMO Twitter is evil. Unless it’s your job to be on it, I recommend removing it from you life asap. Ditto Facebook.
Never ever understood the appeal of Twitter. Just seems overflowing with negativity, hot takes, and pile-ons.
Honestly, fully deactivating/deleting my Facebook and Twitter accounts was the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.
Some of us, unfortunately, have to use Twitter for work.
So glad Constance Wu survived the fray.
I remember from the 2000s that most people that liked something would meet each other on forums.
There were still arguments on those forums, but generally people met each other there that liked a specific thing, sport, game franchise, series whatever. Forums often had moderation and things got less out of hand than now. There was also less direct communication with celebrities.
Now, the threshold to get involved into communicating with anyone is much lower. Someone doesn’t need to sign up for seperate forums etc, but can have one twitter account and hate all the actors, politicians, musicians, random strangers or other trolls they want and do it fast.
I think there was a specific movie she really wanted to do but the series renewal conflicted with it. So she was reacting in disappointment of the lost opportunity and people perceived her upset feelings as inconsiderate of the other cast and crew of her show who they claimed she must have wished didn’t have jobs? Except that emotions aren’t logical and you can feel upset/sad even if things are objectively going well in your life. You can be upset you missed a train even though it leaving on time means the other 200 people on the train get to their destinations on time. Telling yourself “don’t be sad you’re going to be late, be happy everyone else on the train is going to be on time” isn’t going to really be self-soothing. Yes she could have just emoted privately, which she learned quickly, but people (probably myself included) really over-analyzed the meaning of her rant and ascribed bad character qualities (“diva” “brat”) onto her because of it.
Yes, prior to the outburst, Wu was very well respected for being outspoken against inequity in the industry in general and towards Asian actors in particular.
I understood her disappointment at the time but have always believed that it’s super risky/unwise to use social media as your personal diary/emotional outlet. If she had complained to a friend, a friend would’ve provided reason, compassion and support. Opening it up to Twitter and the world…the pile up of negativity, the threat to cancel her, expose her behavior as a “diva” and the discovery that no one liked her on the set of CRA…it could drive anyone feeling vulnerable to suicide.
It’s a jarring juxtaposition: actors are very often emotional, sensitive, creative, neurotic and self-absorbed, and yet they are expected to constantly put themselves out there and grow the thickest skin against all the inevitable scrutiny that comes with being in the public eye. I wish many of them did not feel the need to have a social media account, as its adverse affect (on teens in particular) has been well studied.
Kate – Thanks for the explainer. I was reading the article thinking there was something missing and her ‘dipping her toe’ back in the water didn’t really allude to what I recall was the problem – her public griping about how she couldn’t get one acting job she really wanted because she had the unfortunate bad luck of having already committed to another acting job. Since I’ve never had a Twitter or other SM account, my understanding is limited to what’s pulled from it for online ‘zines, so am ignorant of any wider context until now. Liked her in Hustlers and Crazy Rich Asians; have never seen the Boat show. Hope she’s able to reconnect with her AsAm colleagues who previously iced her out; sounds like that would be way more therapeutic than looking for love in all the wrong places, i.e. Twitter.
@ Flowerlake, I am beginning to loathe SM all around. Twitter is the worst!! I was attacked for making one positive comment about Meghan and I had a slew of hatred thrown at me. I usually turn off Twitter responses as it’s much too toxic. I have a right to my opinion as anyone else but to be attacked in that manner was plain ugly.
I don’t understand why people think they have a right to bully, harass as well as dictate how public people should live their lives. I was reading about the ongoing attacks against Zawe Ashton for being with Tom Hiddleston. As they are now married the attacks were off the charts!! SM is a pit of ugliness as well as abuse and spreading hate. We as a society need to step up and call out the abusers!! Those are the ones that should be named and shamed!!
Here is the article regarding Zewa.
https://www.pajiba.com/celebrities_are_better_than_you/zawe-ashton-faces-racist-and-sexist-harassment-for-dating-tom-hiddleston.php
Sorry you got that hate.
It’s like that app gets more hellish by the year. Most seem to have grudges too, because ‘that celebrity said this once’ or ‘two fans of that football player said that’ and they therefore feel justified to act evil as well.
I liked the time when fans of certain things usually had their own websites or at least corner of websites, so that any user wouldn’t have access to everyone and everything so easily.
Also, Twitter should moderate more.
She was doing well with the rich asians movie, her comedy show and her film with Jlo hustlers. Her show got renewed and she kinda was upset over it on her tweet which gave the impression she was being extremely ungrateful. There were also a lot of gossip about her being a diva on the set of hustlers and making a point of how her character was the main one in the film. Felt very bratty but the media turns it the way it wants us to read her…
I need to preface this by saying I feel very sad it got this bad for her and am glad the worst didn’t happen and she’s doing better. I don’t want any of this situation to wear on her now considering it’s so old and over. And she doesn’t deserve bad things for what is a common pitfall of younger people in Hollywood. But for those unaware this was quite a big flap inside the TV industry at the time.
There were numerous accounts from crew and cast in reputable publications that after the massive success of Crazy Rich Asians she became a little toxic and “I too big for this” on the set of Fresh Off The Boat. The reason people went on record was because ABC had even taken notice and was quite concerned on whether or not they would renew the show given the situation. She became slightly dismissive of castmates, the material, and chaffed at crew, which was a problem considering there were children on set which she primarily had scenes with. And to after CRA (she was the star of CRA if you haven’t seen it and it was really a huge movie in general but especially for Asian film) she demanded a bigger role on FOTB or she was going to leave. The show was mainly about the children but in the last few years became really focused on Constance. And even then she was not happy and wanted out to do big movies, thus began being quite hostile. And mind you FOTB is one of a handful of all-Asian primary casts sitcom on US TV, and the longest running ever I think. So the show while a simple little sitcom held great importance.
Then when the show finally got renewed for it’s final season which it’s fans desperately wanted because they wanted the series stories resolved, she went on a multi-Tweet tirade about it after news broke and how it was holding her back, she wanted to do artistic projects, she’s getting scripts for everything and can’t take them because of her show contract, she had to drop a project, etc. She went on the Instagram post of the official announcement by ABC and on her official account said “Dislike” amid all these fan comments celebrating. Fans were legitimately hurt by that and the cast and crew who had really great employment for another year were said to be upset too. ABC was extremely displeased by all this as well as you can imagine because they were excited to have a budding young movie talent and promoted the hell out of her in addition to shifting the entire show to showcase her more.
If that wasn’t bad enough when her PR sent her out to do damage control with some interviews with publications, she basically double down on it. She tried to “explain” what she meant but just said it in different words.
It’s really even sadder all around now. This should not have been such a big flap, just some dumb early star days mistake story that she went on Ellen and laughed over how they “caught her before she had her coffee” and “that’s what she gets being too tired from working” or something. It was just handled very poorly by her PR IMO who didn’t prep her to respond in the best manner. It’s just a shame people came for her personally about something that just happens in Hollywood commonly.
I felt so awful for her reading that. I remember when she was getting dog piled by everyone. Whoever wrote that message to her about being a disgrace should be ashamed of themselves. It was low and clearly they were trying to push her down as far as possible, and it almost worked. I definitely have my suspicions…I’m glad she’s healing and in a better place.
@ L84Tea, it’s such a sad story. No one should be treated like that. It seems as though women, in general, are attacked at a greater proportion as well. I am glad that she has come out from it in a better place and is finally on track to resume her life.
As for who wrote the terrible message, I agree that they should feel extremely bad about it. I personally feel that people who do this should be named and shamed. If there was a chance to call them out, so be it. Too many people feel like they have the rights to someone’s life and they don’t. The more that people are called out and held responsible, the less toxic it would be.
That Asian lady who sent her the message is shitting her pants right now and already preparing to send out a public apology. I am sure Constance will be dropping the name and cancel culture will do the rest.
Just did a mini dive back into the Constance Wu posts and was reminded that Gemma Chan “liked” a shady tweet by Yashar Ali about Constance Wu. Not trying to start anything, but this is a gossip site where we speculate on who allegedly said and did what, so just wondering if Gemma might have been the unnamed DMer. Not saying she was, and not calling on anyone to now go on the attack against Gemma. Enough attacking. But just wondering…
Gemma Chan also liked Johnny Depp’s victory post which caused me to lose a lot of respect for her. It very well could have been someone else, but I’m not putting it past Gemma.
I unfollowed every single celebrity I was following who liked JD’s post. A lot of disappointment to go around that day.
But why even bring Gemma into this. You know that folks would just bully her if it was proven that she is the one DM’d Constance, so why even put that into the universe? Whoever did it was wrong and it is between Constance and this woman.
I explained why in my original post.
Gemma Chan I believe is the one who posted a shady response to Constance’s tweet then deleted it.
Wu was apparently a giant diva on the set of Crazy Rich Asians and Fresh Off the Boat and burned a lot of bridges prior to that tweet.
It’s still terrible what Wu went through.
But I can take that with a grain of salt. Everyone is quick to call a woman a “diva,” or “difficult.” I believe “difficult” is what Harvey Weinstein’s victims were branded with to end their careers.
Meanwhile, people will jump at the opportunity to support rapists, pedophiles, racists and abusers when it’s a man. They’re still supporting Johnny Depp even as he’s paying settlements to people he has physically attacked on movie sets.
No idea if she was a diva or not–and any more, I’m always a bit suspicious of motivations behind calling women ‘divas’–but I really liked her in Crazy Rich Asians & Fresh Off the Boat. Fresh Off the Boat was a really fun show.
I’m glad she was found in time. She went quiet after the big pile-on & now we know why. That’s really scary.
I know people who worked on CRA, and they didn’t say that Wu was a diva. She wasn’t as group-activity oriented as the rest of the cast and kind of kept to herself, but it wasn’t like they hated her. She just had a different process, and that’s ok.
Also, I question the idea of pitting 2 Asian women against each other based on hunches. Maybe after her disclosure, we should reflect and move cautiously in this area?
Gemma Chan is English. Constance talks specifically about being told she’s a disgrace to the AsAm community, so I doubt it was Gemma.
People always feel extra entitled to the gratefulness of black women, women of color and women in general. I wish her the best.
So true.
She just essentially said that “a few DMs” convinced her to end her life and that they came from other WOCs. So, how is your point relevant?
There was such a dog pile on her after her tweets. It was more than the DMs.
Internalized misogyny and internalized racism. There is plenty of it out there.
I was/am following her; I didn’t notice the Asians tweeting at her, but I did notice the white male pile on and assumed racism caused her to go silent. We, BIPOC, often hold our own at such a higher standard, thinking that any misstep will f*ck it up for the rest of us, rather than attacking the problem, which is white supremacy. I don’t think it’s coincidental that she and Awkwafina were run off social media at the peak of their careers.
Some people lose their minds on social media. I’m grateful I have my first name and actual photo on my socials, it has stopped me from contributing to the pile-on. Because I think people forget they’re tweeting at or about actual human beings.
I remember the commentary on this site at the time being extremely unsympathetic towards her (when the original tweets came out). About how she should be grateful, how she should be happy she’s got a job, consider all of the other cast and crew on the show and not just her own ambition.
I hope that people are more understanding now and we should absolutely not expect perfect behaviour from everyone in the public eye. The pain she suffered should absolutely not be the cost of fame. The poor woman. She’s very brave to say all of this now and I feel awfully sorry for her for what she went through.
Absolutely. That is why I often have a knee-jerk reaction regarding pile-ons. Everybody here considered her ungrateful. It started a whole line of rumours about her being a diva and had she not attempted suicide I am inclined to think that it would continue.
Listen. My son is being bullied at school for being gay. I HATE all of his bullies for being horrible. I want justice.
But I hate our society much more where we don’t address the bullies and try to heal. Wu was stupid, clearly. But the line of damaging stuff that was said about her was over the top.
We, as a society need to recognize suffering but also build a place to heal together. Hurt people hurt people. Only a small percentage are psychopaths.
Thank you kirsty. I remember it all too well. I was here and arguing with them and got shut down because the majority here pile on.
Agreed.
@Jo: So sorry about your son being bullied. That’s brutal. I hope you give the school hell.
I was one of those people who said she should’ve stayed quiet about her “disappointment” at being able to continue doing a high-paying job that others do not get a chance to do. That being said, she was entitled to her feelings and it’s horrible that she was driven to attempting suicide because of the unkindness of others. Goes to show that you really never know what people are going through.
I never heard of Constance before the tweet story broke here. She came off sounding bratty and unprofessional, especially regarding her fellow actors and crew from the Tv show. Wishing that show cancelled would leave a lot of people unemployed. I’m sorry people were mean to her after her tweets. That is also wrong. It does seem like she realized her mistake quickly and apologized. It’s never smart to bite the hand that feeds you.
I think it’s prudent to consider that “never bite the hand that feeds you” is similar to “pull yourself up by your bootstraps “. They are rooted in capitalistic ideologies that discourage workers or the poor from criticizing governments, bosses, leaders etc from doing better. While she certainly has privileges above the working class, and there is nuance to this situation, the context of her circumstances is still steeped in immigrant/radicalized oppression that consistently enforces that folks remain “grateful” and never complain.
@Ari You make a very good point about the discouragement of workers from criticizing business or government. I just don’t feel it applies to constance’s situation. She was upset that her high paying TV job was contractually keeping her from getting movie roles.
I think two things can be true at once: Her tweets at the time genuinely were unprofessional and came off as quite petulant. But she should not have gotten such intense scrutiny for something that is ultimately innocent in the grand scheme of Hollywood nonsense, and no one should’ve told her she’s a disgrace over a tweet.
This! Yes, she came off as entitled, unprofessional and petulant, but that level of backlash wasn’t necessary. It’s always reminder, if you’re on Twitter, read what your wrote TWICE before you hit send. If it still doesn’t read right to you have someone else read it before you hit send. Better still, get a diary and don’t put your thoughts on twitter. Everyone doesn’t need to know everything, it’s more than ok to keep some things private.
Yeah. Nobody’s perfect.
Yes, this is exactly it.
Perfectly said Case.
Happens here and everywhere all the time. No one can make a mistake. No one can react. No one can say something wrong. If they do – they are THE WORST!
I had this exact same thought as I was reading through these comments. I won’t lie, I thought her behavior made her look pretty bad t the time, but people really went 0-100 on tearing her apart.
I remember her tweet and really thinking it wasn’t that big a deal for her to feel frustrated about her job. As an actor, I have gone through literally the same “aw fuck” about what and what not to say no to because of a commitment. I think it’s one thing to hold privileged people in Hollywood to account for their ignorance to that privilege (ex Chris Pratt) and to let people just experience emotions in real time – with the outrageous consequences Constance experienced here. Also Twitter isn’t a vacuum, this outcome should teach us that.
IIRC, one of the issues with her tweet is that she posted it on her tv show’s official Instagram page. It wasn’t even on her own personal page. That’s part of what made it so unprofessional. Still, she didn’t deserve the level of backlash that she got. I empathize with her.
Celebrities misbehave and post stupid posts on social media all the time forgetting the Internet isn’t their personal diary and that their fans will react. It’s a hard lesson to learn and it’s so easy to forget there is always a “go kill yourself and die” contingent of people who will harass them via DM and public posts. No matter how offensive the content is, people never deserve to have death threats, I can’t imagine what she went through mental health wise. She shouldn’t have posted those comments about Fresh off the Boat in the first place and clearly had a thing or two to learn about self-awareness but we always forget how extreme the Internet can be. Constance isn’t my favorite person but I hope she’s in a better place after that whole ordeal and took time to heal from it.
Women on social media, especially public figures, get a lot of death threats. But what is disturbing here is that it was someone who personally knew Constance who decided to twist the knife more when the pile on happened.
I am a survivor of attempting to die by suicide x3. It was a very dark time in my life and it seemed like the best-case scenario, thanks to an absolutely wonderful therapist, I can say that I am in much better head space now, so far so good.
I am glad Constance is doing well and is here to write the book and share her story and experience. Maybe if more of us survivors come out and openly speak about it, we can help others know that they are not alone.
@Scarlett – I’m happy that you are still here to post. I see you and am sending you so much love. Your life matters and you aren’t alone either.
Why is my screen blurry? Sending you love. You are strong.
@ Scarlett, I am incredibly sorry to hear of your past attempts. I am incredibly happy to hear how well you are doing!! I agree with your comments about sharing your experience as well as others sharing too!! Until we bring mental health into the daily conversations, nothing will change.
I was critical of the tweet when she shared it because I thought it was inappropriate. It didn’t just affect her but affected her co-stars and all of the behind the scenes employees too. Folks always tend to be difficult on women than men when sharing their thoughts and otherwise. I tend to give criticism equally. I’m am glad for Constance that she is better and that her life didn’t end that day. Life is hard and we must treat each other better.
There’s a disturbing trend of over the top vitriol on twitter. And let’s be real: a lot of blue checks, even in the entertainment/film reporters, contribute to it. The newest target is Taika, who is guilty of being annoying at worst & maybe cheating on his ex wife several years ago (which many Hollywood people have done). And the anger is almost always aimed at women and/or people of color.
Aimed at politicians who want 10 year old babies to have to give birth to their rapists child, blatant racism, etc., I get it. But for what Constance said, the backlash was insanely disproportional and cruel and when people tried to get others to chill…it just didn’t work. I really do think we’re worse off with twitter.
Twitter is too toxic. I had 2 accounts, one professional, the other a no-holds-barred political one. I had to inactivate the political one because it just became too much dealing with constant negativity, racism, sexism and bullying of those with even the slightest differing view against prevailing conventional wisdom.
Mental health is talked about a lot, but we still have a long way to go when it comes to taking the impact of bullying and things like misogyny on mental health seriously. Even when someone is poor or middle class and their target is not, any time you are one of many people going after someone and you’ve got racism, religious patriarchy, homophobia, etc. teaming up with you against that person, the power imbalance is in your favor. You’re not just one person. That’s awful that she went through that. Glad she was helped, but it shouldn’t have come to that.
As far as what she did goes, she publicly griped about her job. Could it have been kept private? Sure. But it also didn’t need to be treated like kids were going hungry over her complaint, or like she had thrown a drink at staff.
I just watched Hustlers for the first time just this week and was reminded of the tweet scandal. I really like her screen presence and I hope she does more stuff. It’s a shame, I was thinking the whole time that I wasn’t “supposed” to like her.
i remember when i saw her social media responses i thought it was funny to see an actress so genuinely and publicly mad about continuing their tv show. i feel really bad knowing now what she went through and the rumours of her being a diva because frankly…i think she was right to be upset about staying on fresh off the boat. i watched the first season and liked it and thought she was clearly the break out of the show but i fell off for a while and when i watched a later season episode it was about her being pissed about illegal immigrants and supporting a politician who wanted to build a wall around florida (lol!) and having to learn not to be an asshole? like jessica took a dive as a character and i don’t blame her for wanting out of the show to go do bigger and better things.
There are a lot of stories out there about how difficult she is to work with and how terrible she is to cast and crew. She was especially high on herself after Crazy rich Asians and apparently unbearable on the set of Hustlers (which says a lot since JLo was also in that movie).
That being said..she needs to name names. If another Asian in the industry drove her to suicide..that person doesn’t need to be protected.
That’s too bad. But I can name several young coworkers who became insufferable divas after their first taste of recognition. JLo aside, it’s sometimes just a sign of immaturity that one can grow out of.
Still, being a diva and difficult to work with do not, and never will, warrant the disdain and hate that she got from all quarters. Period.
I remember the vitriol. I was there, I read the comments on a lot of different places. People had a level of vindictive glee in tearing her down that they barely reserved for anyone else.
Lots of people are difficult and behave like divas. That doesn’t mean she deserves the dog piling she got.
I’ve cut back SIGNIFICANTLY on social media usage and it’s improved my mental health. On the other hand, I’ve truly appreciated the really special and interesting people I’ve connected with all across the world — especially the CB community.
Stories like this confirm I could not handle the pressure of being famous or super successful. I’m not attempting to white wash the experience of a WOC. No matter how famous, no one would ever look to me as a representative of an entire demographic. But I am prone to emote first and and questions later. With age I’ve learned not to do that online but I wouldn’t have survived my twenties in a spot light. I feel for her having to endure that pressure.
I feel a little bad that for actors that social media is now basically a required part of the game. It’s way too easy to post dumb things, perfectly normal, human dumb things, but dumb things nonetheless. You get to interact with many fans but all the haters too. It’s also addictive for many people, but a lot of actors crave the spotlight or even just crave others’ approval (I mean that’s basically what auditioning is), so I think the intensity of feeling gets ratcheted up a notch or ten.
So glad she survived. The personality it takes to get to the top in the entertainment industry is often not one that can handle living in the spotlight.
Worked for a research group studying suicide. The fact that really stuck with me was that the average length of time between someone making the decision and the attempt was fifteen minutes. It’s not always the long downward slide we see in movies. It’s having a terrible, terrible moment on a shitty day in a long string of shitty days. If you know somebody’s in a bad place, be careful with them.
@ConcernFae THIS. I am also a survivor of suicide (barely) and like you said, my attempt wasn’t a long thought out process. It happened on a Tuesday night, after a day that involved multiple horrible things and ended with some severe bullying/negativity from a (former) friend. It was just too much for me that day.
People need to remember that their words/actions can have much more power than they realize.
So much damage done by racism. If a white person was a jerk, people would say that INDIVIDUAL was a jerk, not that he represented all whites. But if a POC behaves a certain way, people say it’s reflective of their entire race, and they are not seen as individuals anymore.
That’s why there are no good stereotypes. Whites say Asian stereotypes aren’t bad because they show Asians as “good at math” or “hard-working.” But it IS bad when you label people as a group, who must behave and be viewed within the acceptable parameters of that group. There are no good stereotypes.
There are still people who need to bring up the fact that she was a diva, and behaved difficultly on set, and thought too highly of herself, all to explain why she was treated the way she was treated.
What she said on Twitter wasn’t a crime. People, especially actors, say and do far FAR worse than her, but the way people disproportionately clutched their pearls and behaved like scolds abt how she needed to keep her objections and disappointments quiet and put on a veneer of gratefulness for the opportunities that she has…people still think this, they jsut feel bad because of where she was driven bc of this. But I haven’t actually seen much actual examination of anyones behaviour or anything, not any meaningful examination anyway.
Everyone is always appalled after the fact. You’d think people would learn how to identify and be appalled during and when these things are happening. But we’re not quite there as a society I guess.
I’m sorry the backlash to her really ill-advised tweet made her feel suicidal, but let’s not act is the criticism was unfair.
she was the star of literally the only network television ever (other than margaret Oh’s show, which barely lasted a season) with a primarily Asian cast, that had just been renewed for an unprecedented 6th season – seriously, any network comedy getting 6 season is huge nowadays, but add to the uniqueness of the cast and by any measure that is tremendously good news. In other words, she had achieved a degree of success (and financial stability) that pretty much every other working Asian actor in Hollywood can only dream of – trust, 6 years as the lead of a network comedy gets you “never have to work again” money – and yet her reaction is to complain and lament her lot in life. And not just to her friends privately, but rather to the entire world over social media. In other words, her first reaction to the news was to jump on twitter and complain. Just imagine, given all the crap Asian actors have dealt with over the years to try to build sustainable acting careers in Hollywood, and here’s one who made it big and her first reaction is to complain and say “f**K my life”, I’d be furious too. Not suggesting she should be on her knees thanking Hollywood for giving her a career but at least be aware of the highly fortunate position you’re in before you tweet out complaints lamenting how much your life sucks because your hit show was renewed for another season. And this just after starring in one of the biggest movies of the year.
So yeah, the criticism, especially from fellow Asian actors, was well deserved.
Hopefully the lesson she actually learned from that backlash is, take a pause before you tweet – ask yourself “do I REALLY need to say that in a public forum?” – if the answer is still yes, then prepared to deal with any criticism. If you’re not, then get the hell off of social media because it’s a generally terrible place.
Her tweet was like a teenager mouthing off. It was very disrespectful not just to her coworkers and crew but to the fans of the show. She should have had her agent get her quietly out of her contract. I would not want to work with someone like her. Hopefully she learns from this since she is still not an A lister yet and won’t be if she develops this reputation.
It was worth an eyeroll like a lot of the ‘controversial’ things women end up getting demonized for. It was careless, but not the end of the world or something that should have escalated to what it did. It’s not realistic or right for anyone to expect poc to be slower to complain about a high-paying job just because there have been less opportunities. Everybody gets tired of work sometimes.
Her wording is still off putting for me re: Twitter.
I get it she did not like her job but she was & is in a privileged position where she could walk away from FOTB and focus her energy elsewhere.
She is in a position where people look up to her so her saying that broke a lot of people’s heart especially fans from the show. Although it was not my cup of tea FOTB did have a loyal fanbase who are disappointed with her comments re: the show.
C needs to think better on how she presents herself and rethink what she is going to say or do. If I was her I would have someone to handle my social media and public image. There is still more for CRA so there will be more eyes on her.
I’m glad she got the help she needed but it’s clear that the purpose of this was to make sure that unnamed actress knew that Wu blames her for her suicide attempt.
It’s not comfortable for any person to hear that cruel and toxic behavior from them could play a role in an onslaught of abuse that’s already taken a dangerous toll on someone. It’s an ugly possibility to think about. But nobody is owed protection from that discomfort. Honest discussions can’t be had about many problems in society without acknowledging that reality.