Let me start by thanking you Bitches. On our last Demi Moore post, we talked about her swimsuit line, and you all gave some great recommendations for swimsuit lines you trust. I ended up buying three suits from Aerie as a result, two for me and one for my daughter. These are the first one-pieces I’ve felt good about myself in for about a decade so thank you!
Since Demi’s swimsuit collaboration with Andie is all about not making a woman feel matronly, Demi was asked recently about her feelings on turning 60. She said she found it “liberating.” Demi said she doesn’t feel defined by a number and refused to be like her grandmother who was already, “resigned to being old” by the time she hit the big 6-0. Demi, by contrast, feels, “more alive and present than ever.”
Demi Moore has made her mark. She’s shaved her head, mastered a one-arm push-up, fought for pay equity in Hollywood and bared her soul in a bestselling memoir. Now, as she gears up to celebrate her 60th birthday in November, she’s taking on a new challenge: designing a collection for the inclusive swimwear brand Andie and modeling her own creations (bikinis included!) for the campaign.
For Moore, 59, the Demi Moore x Andie capsule is about, well, more than a great-fitting bikini — it’s about breaking outdated rules of what women should and shouldn’t wear after a certain age.
For the multi-hyphenate superstar, embracing her age has been “liberating.”
When asked what she looks forward to most about turning 60 later this year, she tells PEOPLE: “Not being defined by a number and instead being defined by my experience. You hit 59 and you’re already thinking, ‘Well, I’m going to be 60.’ It feels very liberating. When I think of my grandmother at 60, she in a way seemed to be already resigned to being old. But I feel, in so many ways, more alive and present than ever.”
I think there’s been a real shift in how women view aging. Remember there were all sorts of rules for older women? Like, hair length and sleeve length and whether we could wear shorts. They weren’t official rules, of course, but any women caught not observing them was certainly pointed out. Don’t even get me started on the bathing suits us old broads could wear. My mom’s generation stuck loosely to the rules, but they didn’t act old or resign themselves like Demi described. So my generation feels even more at liberty to smash those standards a little more. With Demi, I feel like it’s probably easy to write it off as, ‘well sure, if you look like Demi Moore!’ But I really do think it’s the attitude, like she said. If you embrace life at any age, even with new physical limitations or perhaps some slowing down, you don’t have to capitulate to a number.
My grandmother also seemed to accept being old at 60. She was already in a 55+ community with my grandfather, wearing her short, permed, grey hair and cardigans with Kleenex in the pockets. My grandfather was 10 years older than her. When he died at 75, she kind of got her second wind – traveling and taking classes. So I think what also determines how we find ourselves at certain ages is what’s going on around us. I’ll be a new empty nester at 60, there’s no way I’m resigning myself to being old. We have a whole When the Kids are Gone List. Maybe Demi and I can go hang out in our two-piece swimsuits on the South of France and whistle at young’uns.
Photo credit: Instagram and Backgrid
I mean it helps that she has all the money to get as many procedures as she wants.
In general, I think it’s great that women aren’t adhering to all these rules anymore but it also comes with the pressure to do so. It’s a double-edged sword. Why do you have wrinkles? You don’t need to, get some Botox! Why aren’t you wearing more youthful clothes? Why is your hair gray? I’m approaching 40 and can – depending on what I wear – pass for 30. Thank you genetics. But I also noticed that I’m refusing to dress “my age”. I like sporty clothes, I like colors, I like summer dresses and clean lines. I think if I put on more mature clothes, it would be different. But who’s to say what’s mature?
I think in 15-20 years, the plastic surgery face will be the new cardigan with Kleenex. If a generation sticks to their style while getting older, that style eventually is a giveaway for their age. My grandmother dressed the same in the early 90s as she did in the 60s. So that style of course seemed grandmotherly.
“… The new cardigan with Kleenex“. I love this! And this is a great post.
Sure, DM has the resources for looking young, staying young etc., but that doesn’t mean we can’t all take part.
I was in hospital last week being treated for a severe wound infection in my leg. One nurse was doing my obs as another was changing the dressing on my leg. She asked me if that was a tattoo on my ankle, which was hard to see because of the infection. I said, “Well, it used to be but I’m not sure how it will end up when this thing heals.” She asked what it is and I told her it is a band tattoo. She said, “ i’ve heard of them. Aren’t they a punk band?” I said they are. The nurse finished my obs and came to look. “ Oh my god! You’re the lady Dr Jane told me about; that it was 1:30 am and she found you watching YouTube videos of a punk band! No one would ever pick you to be a punk rock fan! That’s amazing!” I said, “I know it takes people by surprise. That’s because I don’t look the way I feel.”
Don’t get me wrong – everyone tells me how young I look for my age, but I certainly don’t look like a punk rock chick. I’m actually older than DM but decided sometime ago that I was just going to do my thing and not worry about what people think. Me, my family and friends love me as I am, and that’s all that matters.
@ AnnaKist, fabulous for you for being who you want to be!!! You have a spectacular outlook in life and that is a spectacular attitude as well!! You be who you want to be, you owe no one explanations!!!
I will be hitting the 6-0 on the 26th and I don’t look at numbers. I still feel very young at heart, am spontaneous, up for any adventure as well not dressing a certain way either, except for work. I don’t care one iota about my age, it’s just a number.
We should all just be who we want to be, as no one questions a man in his elder years. We have the same right and need not explain ourselves to anyone unless we are hurting other people.
F#ck numbers, be YOU!!
I was (visiting) in a hospital myself the day you wrote this, and while looking for a room, a kind head nurse – probably 15 years younger than me – referred to me as “this girl”. (It was not ironic, and in my language – not English – the word “girl” is only used for young women.)
I am 61.
This is not to brag (there is nothing to brag about concerning age, ANY age, anyway). It’s just to say that, yes, obviously genetics play a major role (it would seem that having a 25-year-old’s legs helps, especially in the summer), but one’s – usually deeply internalised – image of how any age “should” look or act like is essential, too.
The odd, unpleasant, bitter downside is seeing the shock and disbelief on young men’s faces when they hear my age. :/
I often wonder how differently people might perceive each other – and live – if mentioning people’s age were forbidden, for example.
This will be my tell when the archeologist finds my tomb in a thousand years. “Yes, we can see by the analysis of their bootcut jeans and side part that this specimen lived in what scientists at the time called “Generation X””.
Can me and my overalls and Treetorn shoes be tombmates with you?
I’m all about women smashing and taking down all the tired sexist tropes around female aging – but, I really wish that the self-appointed faces of this important movement weren’t women who have clearly spent huge sums of money to look frozen and oddly ageless….the message from that is “aging is ok as long as you fight it with fillers, botox and surgery, and it’s ok to be 60 as long as you still really only look 40”
I agree with you completely. Demi has always been stunning and had an amazing body but also has had multiple procedures over the years. Tbh I would have too if I had the money. So much easier to be a “rebel” against aging when you have the money to fight it.
You articulated this so well.
Agreed — I remember reading (on Celebitchy, I believe) that she even had her knees lifted. Madness. Plus she has always been traditionally slim and beautiful. The reason I don’t like to expose my upper arms at 50+ or wear a bikini is my perfectly normal blobby body doesn’t look good (to me, anyway) in those styles. The “number” of age isn’t as significant as the realities of looking normal and aging normally.
It’s like the woman (can’t think of her name) who was all defiant and stopped wearing makeup — she called it a feminist statement, but she had naturally glorious skin and a movie-star face. Would she have been so bold if she was not?
And is it really smashing sexist tropes if you are still catering to the male gaze?
Exactly this. I felt the same pang of ‘yes, okay, sure, HOWEVER…’ with the recent Vera Wang posts. It would be nice to hear it’s okay to be 60 (of 70, in Vera’s case) from a woman who actually looks 60.
@Cherry
But how DOES sixty “actually” look like?
There is no single look. Not even close.
@Hestia you must be trolling, right? My point (and @OriginalLaLa put it much more eloquently) has nothing to do with ‘a single look’ for 60 yo women. Obviously there isn’t one.
I agree with this. I’m closing in on 60, and I’ll pass on taking advice from Demi Moore and her trunk full of insecurities. I’m glad she is seemingly in a happy place, but she’s a train wreck in a million dollar surgically perfected body. I work out 5 days a week and look good in my 2 piece skirted bottom with bikini top. Demi would cringe, but I cringe hard when I see her, too. Chasing youth at 60 isn’t healthy or attainable.
Fhmom, I’m over 60 and totally agree. Demi started on the plastic fantastic train when she was young, pre Bruce, and she’s never stopped. I’ll keep doing my non enhanced thing.
All of the comments above are spot-on. She looks great and all but her image is just not a realistic one for most women. And while I’m thrilled that we’re redefining what getting older means for women, I wish the focus could be more on being socially-conscious and engaged as well being as active and healthy as our bodies will allow–and less about looking hot. Because not every woman has the resources or even the physical ability to support a lifestyle like hers.
How is it smashing stereotypes and sticking it to the patriarchy by pledging to still be “hot” at 60, 70, etc. It seems sad to me. I have a lot more respect for my grandma’s WWII generation. They had their day, enjoyed their youth, enjoyed their middle age, and accepted that they were old and would never look like they were 35 again. Even my mom’s generation, older baby boomer, have a healthier mindset than this. And my mother looks and acts younger than her mother did at 73, yet she’s not running around trying to look 35 either. I don’t find this inspiring at all. Women want to be girls forever now and it’s pathetic, imo
Hear Hear!!
This is how I feel as well. Sheesh, chasing “hot” seems dumber with every passing year, because it’s always the same definition of “hot.” No one should be expected to look the same at 75 as they did at 25, it’s insane and it doesn’t happen without a lot of procedures. How is having to inject and pull and dye and diet a body into pretending time hasn’t happened sticking it to anyone? It just seems like a lot of these people don’t dwell in reality.
No one is saying you have to be sexless and listen to elevator music, but I don’t know why we’re supposed to be limited to looking like FHM models, either.
THANK YOU!! It annoys me so much.
Yessss to all this!!!
I think it’s a fine line actually. Demi has obviously had a lot of work done. She doesn’t look like the average 60 her old. Not even close. I think not resigning yourself to old age but also accepting getting old ? Like it’s ok to look your age too. Youth culture can be just as damaging to women.
“So I think what also determines how we find ourselves at certain ages is what’s going on around us.” This right here. Even if they are not working outside the home, many women remain working inside the home (cooking, cleaning) very, very late into their lives while their husbands just sit in the easy chair. They also may be caretakers of an older parent, an older husband, or grandchildren. They’re resigned because the life has been drained out of them.
That’s true. Why are the daughters the automatic caretaker of their parents? It’s been that tradition in my family for eons. Though my mother didn’t live past 61, my father, my aunt my grandmother were all taken to the task of being cared for my the daughters. My SIL took care of my FIL and it taking care of my 103 MIL, and has for the last 10 years, granted she has always lived with them. My aunt took care of both of my grandparents until death, and she lived to 96. Granted, there are very, very few nursing homes in Argentina and it’s expected in that country.
Women have and will always be the ones expected to be the care takers from my generation. Hopefully it will change as time progresses. Men can be caretakers as well if we make them do so.
I live in the USA and I’m the caretaker of my father who is 94 . When he fell and hit his head in 2018, that’s when I became the caretaker. The head physical therapist told me he sees this situation all the time. He told his wife we will have three kids and one of them needs to be a girl. He said it’s always the girl who takes care of parents.
She has to acknowledge that she has resources to medical, fitness, health and beauty products / services that the average 60 yo doesn’t have. Also she worked hard enough in the right industry and now doesn’t have to worry about her retirement nor having a roof over her head. Basically she is enjoying life and I think she looks great. Happy for her but not all 60 year olds can age like this.
Exactly. It’s a huge part of her job to look her best. If we had all the money and time to devote to our appearance, we’d all look pretty good.
Yup!!! I addition to never needing to clean her home, shop for groceries and has staff to cook for her every meal. She has the money and resources to look this good with a personal trainer as well.
I generally agree with the idea that it is about attitude, but my other theory is that hair care products have improved dramatically and the option not to have the short graying perm makes a huge difference! But yeah, I remember when 40th birthdays were the beginning of the end and you were “over the hill”, you don’t really see that any more and that’s great.
Well, my grandmother was still working at 60. And into her 80’s until her health declined was working on the farm with her poultry.
Hahahhh. This was funny. What does accepting mean? Who is she talking to and who is she excluding from her conversation? Certainly people who cannot root their self-acceptance in airbrushing and surgery.
She is selling age-appropriate albeit sexy garments but she is trying to look half her age. What a mind-f*ck.
Yes definitely there’s a contradiction:’ I feel liberated bc I’ll be a 60 yo who’s worked veery hard for not looking it’.
40 yo women of my childood looked like today’s 55 yo. But that’s not only bc of social conscience shift and healthier living; there are also better skin & hair products, plus resourcing to cosmetic procedures is normalized per price point. Women feel ‘liberated’ (oblivious?) from looking old, not as much happy or accepting of aging as it is.
My grandmother was old at 60 because she had six children during the Depression.
My mother played sports well into her 60s.
I guess grandma gets thrown under the bus now in order to sell you a cheap ass swimsuit.
The most revolutionary act you can make in this culture is to accept yourself as you are. They are always going to be trying to tell you it’s not enough and it’s always in order to sell you shit you don’t need.
Demi, take a cue from your grandma and enjoy your one life. You’re making a bunch of people feel bad they aren’t aging like you while conveniently leaving the reality out. Show us your cosmetic procedure bills, the before and after retouching of these photos, acknowledge your wealth, the lifelong incentive you’ve had to profit from your looks, talk about the sexist expectations and judgments our culture places on women’s looks, anything. This shit is spiritually tiring and it’s all to market a swimsuit that is no different than the thousands of others out there. Same shit as always.
Thank you! Exactly how I feel about women like her and Christie Brinkley. It can be a part time job keeping up your looks like that , not to mention the money involved. Bye girl. This is not progress to me.
Christie Brinkley is starting to look creepy. She’s got the face of a 40 year old, but like store mannequin. She’s got the body of a 40 year old but then you look closer and see your grandmother’s hands and feet. One of the saddest things I’ve ever seen was CB being interviewed about aging on Tamron Hall. I pity that woman.
You are SPOT ON!
Until she starts including saggy skin as something “liberating”, I don’t want to hear it.
Aging happens. And we don’t need to have perfect thin bodies to embrace it. I find her so disingenuous. She embraces still adhering to a very narrow definition of beauty rather than the changes that most of us are experiencing. My favorite aging icon is Jamie Lee Curtis. She tells it like it is and seems more real.
Yes, Jamie Lee Curtis is inspirational.
I am 65, and people are frequently shocked when they learn my age. I am fortunate to have great genetics that kept my skin youthful – and I never sunbathed much because I don’t tan, AND I have always hated the feel of dry skin so I use tons of moisturizer [the cheap kind that comes in a small tub, for the record]. And yes, I dye my hair, because I’m a brunette and I think I will look really washed out with light hair and have to change my whole color palette and I’m not quite ready yet. But in my mind, I think it’s all about being put together. I wear bright colors and I love beautiful purses and I never leave the house without earrings [unless the errand requires a baseball cap] which I have only recently realized is my late mom’s influence. Maybe one key difference is, I know my legs are a bit lumpy and my arms sag but I just don’t care – I am not wearing long sleeves and pants when it’s 95 degrees, so I’m sorry for anyone who looks too hard. And I’m still having great sex and going out dancing [when covid allows] and lifting weights and I’m getting remarried in a few months. What’s my point? I forgot, because actually maybe I am a little bit old. 🙂
@. Nina, congratulations Sweetie!!! Oh, I am so excited for you!!!! Please tell us more? Who is the lucky one? How did you two meet? When it the big day? Is the sex fabulous and adventurous? (That’s a MUST in my book!!) Tell us everything!!!! Honeymoon?? What are you wearing??? When is the big day? I am happy for your as long as you are extremely happy!!!
Congratulations!!!! 🥂🥂
I am with you on hair….I refuse to be grey and will fake it for the rest of my life. Plus it looks terrible with my skin tone as well!! I am with you too, how would I switch out my wardrobe that I have worked so hard to fulfill!! My only musts are sunscreen and lip tint when I go out to run somewhere quickly.
@BothSidesNow – Thank you so much! We met four years ago on Match – I was on and off for literally 20 years, and about to go off again when he messaged me. I had a whole routine to screen the bots but he was real and local. Single mom for 22 years, until I sold my house and moved in with him last year. I never expected it to happen and feel very lucky! Yes, the sex IS fabulous and adventurous [I have had to teach him a few things LOL]. It’s in November and I plan to wear deep purple, my favorite color! We’ll go somewhere in the Caribbean, probably, and my dear friend is ordained as some kind of minister so she will officiate. I have gained a lot of weight taking care of my mom the past few years, so I hope to drop at least a few pounds first, but he loves my thighs so I’m not going to stress about it! [Let me repeat: FIND A MAN [or woman] WHO LOVES YOUR THIGHS.]
@ Nina, oh Nina, I am so extremely happy for YOU!!!!!! This is fabulous news and I know you are going to look sexy, glamorous and chic as hell on your wedding day!!!! All that matters on that day is YOU and your FIANCÉE!!!! I am so excited for you!!!!!! See, when you aren’t looking, here they come!!!!! I am so glad that you have a man that is worthy of YOU!!!!
He loves you as you are!!! That is ALL that matters!!!! As long as he loves, respects and supports you, Sweetie I am incredibly happy for you!!!!!
Love is such a fabulous journey that should be treasured and happy!! I love that you guys have lived together fist as well!!!! You always find out the truth of how a man, or woman, lives once you live with them!!!!! Oh, I am so excited!!!!! Congratulations!!! I wish you nothing but the best that the world has to offer you and you both be happy and blissful and many, many years together as well!!!!
Congratulations!!!!
@ Nina, I hope you saw my message!!! I am so terribly sorry that I became side tracked earlier!!! Nina, you will be the an exceptionally beautiful bride and I am so incredibly happy for you!!!!
Good Lord….
Kyle, Are you goodlording at me? Why?
Can she just be quiet? I’m old and I don’t find the constant drone of articles on 70 year old women looking 40 interesting or relevant. Look at old pictures of her. She was attractive in her completely flat-chested General Hospital days, but she’s had about every piece of her body redone and then redone again. So disingenuous
Sorry but nope. Anyone who’s had the number of cosmetic procedures from the knees up that she’s had, and the money to afford them, isn’t like the rest of us. The only cosmetic procedure I’ve had done is to have my mangled breast re-built post cancer surgery. I work out, don’t bake in the sun, don’t feel the need to starve myself or dye my hair and look pretty darn good for almost 70, but 99% of us don’t live the lifestyles of the rich and famous. We clean our own houses, wash our own clothes, mow lawns, paint rooms, shovel snow and do our own shopping and cooking, we simply don’t have the time or money to lavish ourselves with expensive treatments and liposuction and breast enhancements, etc. etc. Her words come off as performative and self-indulgent in order to sell her product, nothing more than “Look at meeeee! Don’t I look great for my age!!”
I’m 41 and I can’t fathom being in a retirement community in 14 years. No. I’m still the parent of a young child. I’m in the best shape of my life, too…can you imagine? At age 55, you could still easily have a good 15 years of mobility left!
Agree — I’m pushing 70, work out hard 5 days a week and am totally mobile. In fact I recently went hiking in the mountains of Alberta and believe me, 2 hours of hiking up very steep trails was daunting, but dammit I did it!!
I’m enjoying getting older. I really enjoyed getting of the catering-to-the-male-gaze-train. I’m not sure Demi managed to get of that train. I hope for her she did. She does seem to throw her grandmother under the bus here for aging differently.
Not everyone’s all is being sexy and hot. It’s enough to feel good about yourself and that takes many different shapes and forms for different people. But it’s annoying for her to pretend like she doesn’t spend all of her time and energy focused on how she looks. That’s not how people are in the real world. I get that many people want to strive to look like her this is how she’s making money off of deals, but it would be refreshing for her to acknowledge this. Most women are working and juggling so many responsibility simultaneously. It’s OK for her message to say everyone should feel good about themselves and don’t have to resign themselves to being “old “. But I wish it didn’t have to always be about being sexy/desirable in the eyes of others.
My late grandmother was one of my FAV people in the world and I adored her Kleenex and cardigans. I also love the Golden Girls. I think there’s something delightful about not having to wear sexy things if you don’t want to at 60
Whoever Demi goes to is really good. No outstretched cheeks or lips. I think she looks great. I’m 60 so my grandmothers were likely of the same generation as Demi’s. They let their hair go gray naturally but as for the cardigan, I’m guessing her grandma wore them her whole life. They aren’t a sign of aging but of a different generation who dressed rather conservatively and liked it. I wear cardigans and I have my whole life because they are cute and I’m one of those people who are cold and winter and in summer a/c (and if my pants don’t have a pocket guess where I hide a tissue?). My grandma’s were big fans of perms because they had previously went to the beauty parlor for a weekly set and with a perm they could just wash their hair at home and it still looked nice. All the old ladies had short permed hair and thought they looked cute.
Do you not remember when she walked in that show looking like a poorly stitched rag doll? She looks a little odd in these pics, too, if I’m being honest. I don’t think her surgeon is so great.
I get both sides. Yes, she has the money to not look old because of cosmetic procedures. And yes, women have always been put out to pasture after the childbearing/child rearing years. So a woman over 40 was elderly, dowdy and useless. F-ck that. I’m a lot older than 40 and would never want to think of myself with any of those adjectives. There are societal conceptions and individual attitudes. Yes, society conditions how we think of ourselves, but I refuse to be put out to pasture any time soon.
Agree with the comments about Demi’s PS work and her natural beauty and the fact this is about marketing her product. Everyone’s said it all so I’ll just add some personal comments.
No rules for getting older for people of all genders a good thing. Let people be and do as they wish. But personally I enjoy the idea of going invisible in that sense. I’m nearly 44, female and cisgender, and have always had a kind of earthy sexuality to me with no problems attracting men but not in that Sharon Stone cool beauty, “the most stunning woman in the room” way. (It’s more like, “You’re okay, kind of cute. Let’s see your personality.”) I’m enjoying this moment but looking forward to getting older. I’ve experienced all that youthful sexual thing and I find it awesome I’m no longer so into clothing and fashion and can keep to a nice semi-capsule wardrobe and stop buying stuff I don’t need. Also have always had a lot more to my identity than my appearance and sexual appeal so it’s not like you’re losing yourself at all. These celebs are under constant pressure to stay a certain way. Think Monica Bellucci has really embraced ageing. Meryl Streep also so graceful about it. If you make your sexuality your identity, then ageing will probably come with a level of grief. It shouldn’t be. It’s just change.
Maybe it’s easier to accept aging if one was not as beautiful as she was considered to be when she was young.
I wonder what it must be like for people whose entire value is placed on what their body looks like. Not even the face, but…the bo
Also, I’ve been studying spirituality for a long time and learned about the seven energy centres/seals. That energy in your first seal is a powerful creative force you can use for anything in your life, to become a more powerful creator. That’s what the kundalini breathwork is all about: pulling that energy right out of there and up into your brain. If you’re overly focused on your sexuality / sex appeal, your energy is stuck down there and you’re living a limited life, a materialist’s existence.
I know people might not subscribe to this stuff but just sharing there’s a spiritual element to kind of leaving that all behind or not being too focused on it, whether you’re getting older or just interested in spirituality.
On a practical level, not identifying myself so much in terms of appearance and sex appeal frees up a lot of energy for more interesting stuff in my life. And a lot of businesses (and celebs like Demi, LOL) are relying on you being obsessed with your appearance so you can keep buying and spending.
Does anyone else follow Sarah Jane Adams? She is 67 and my fashion icon in loud patterns and vintage high top Adidas. She looks her age (it’s not like she’s trying to pretend she’s 25!) but she’s got style and sass for dayyyysssss.
Just saying that fun style is not all about plastic surgery and swimsuits and the male gaze. It can be about funk and fun and joy too.
Google her, she’s amazing. I found her via Advanced Style.