I bought a couple of the menopause greeting cards Naomi Watts designed and sent them to my girlfriends. They were really well received; I highly recommend it. And remember the cards raise money for the Alliance for Period Supplies. In addition to the cards, Naomi has founded a line of face, hair, body, vaginal, and supplement products for menopausal women called Stripes. To back up the products, the Stripes website has an expert advice page with “Menoguides” offering topics from sex to moods to how to talk to your doctors. It’s fantastic and a real testament to Naomi’s commitment to making menopause a part of the national discussion. One of the unique parts of Naomi’s personal experience is that she was essentially going through perimenopause as she was having her kids. She started peri early, at 36, and that was right when she was trying to start her family with Liev Schreiber. But as she’s told us before, no one had ever talked to her about perimenopause so she felt “very alone.” Which is why she’s so determined to make sure other women don’t have to navigate this part of life on their own.
Naomi Watts has shared more of her experiences with perimenopause and menopause — and is encouraging other women to do the same.
At The New Pause Symposium in New York City on Friday, presented by The Swell and Stripes, Watts said that her personal experiences inspired her to create Stripes, a skincare brand for women in midlife.
“I found myself at 36 and perimenopausal, a word I didn’t even know about, and at the precipice of trying to start a family. So I went into complete panic, felt very lonely, very much less-than or like some kind of failure and what was I going to do? There was no one to talk to, there was no information, basically on my visit to the doctor, who said, ‘Well you’re not getting pregnant … your bloodwork is indicating that you’re close to menopause’ so I was freaking out.”
Watts acknowledged that there are more resources for women in perimenopause and menopause than there were 18 years ago, but much more more education and awareness are still needed.
“I went through anxiety, shame, confusion, panic and managed to fall pregnant naturally after two years of trying and getting my system right with different alternatives, since I wasn’t a candidate for IVF,” she said. “After the second child, I went through massive night sweats, hot flashes and I thought ‘this is terrible,’ and I would try to test out the community of my friends and I was sort of met with nervous laughs and shrugging it off, and I thought ‘Oh wow no one else is there, I better keep silent,’ and that’s how it was.”
Watts also asked her mother, who told her she had been 45 when she started perimenopause. “And that’s all I knew,” she said. “There was no detail around it. There was no handholding from doctors. The doctors said okay, ‘Here’s a patch or a gel or a spray.’ ”
“I just knew that this is a road that no one else should have to walk through alone again without a community, because without proper care taken you are going to turn in on yourself.”
I’ve said it before but let me reiterate my admiration for what Naomi is doing. I respect that she’s backing up her product with advice and support. It feels like she’s building a whole community for women. Unlike Naomi, my mother never went through any kind of menopause. She got periods forever until she was diagnosed with uterine cancer and had a full hysterectomy to eliminate it. So we didn’t have any notes to compare. I entered peri at 48. Granted I was unfamiliar with peri until I was knocking at its door, but I had friends who had entered it, so I was not alone, like Naomi was. And I certainly wasn’t considering kids. That must have been lonely as I’m sure everyone both in and out of the medical community wrote off her chances. It’s amazing to be able to bring these things up now. Honestly, talking about menopause and being over 50 with you all in these posts, I’m starting to really feel myself. Community matters. This is how we change opinion. And Naomi gets that.
And check out her products. They aren’t cheap, but they do answer quite a few calls. There’s a cooling mist for hot flashes. The lubes look really good as do the supplements, one that focus on vaginal health and the other on managing hot flashes and brain fog. Plus all the skin and hair care.
Photo credit: Avalon Red, Cover Images and Instagram
Awareness around this has to be raised! My gynecologist (male) flat out told me he didn’t believe in perimenopause. Meanwhile I was having my heavy period for 16 days, 4 day break, period again for 6 days. For years.
No one was as happy as I was to be finished with it and through menopause!
That’s awful @ Dame Judi! I’m glad you’ve made it to the other side. It’s so hard to get your iron up when you’re bleeding heavily and that alone impacts daily life. I hope you have a new gyne!
Ughhhh….maybe time for a new doc? Which, what a pain in the butt. Although, I guess you might be done with him? Do we continue to get annual exams after menopause? My male gyno told me that I was in peri (because my period is being so weird) and that it could last ten years! I’m worried about menopause though
I resent how much our bodies change throughout our lives in comparison with men. My husband is having such a hard time dealing with age-related changes, and I’m just like, “my body has changed in kind of a big way almost every decade of my life, and will continue to!” with the implication being, “quit yer b!tching, you have no idea”
Yes, you continue to get exams. Talk to your doctor about how often.
My doctor, a woman, knew surprisingly little about about peri-menopause. Women’s health care is almost totally ignored in the US.
Yes, I definitely got a new doctor!
And I made it through menopause with very few issues, and feel great on the other side of it.
That’s not surprising. My doctor is oblivious too (need to find a new one). I’ve been having my period for a long 10 days (used to be 5) and then spotting for several weeks. That’s not the worst of it – the headaches can be crippling at times.
My doctor’s suggestion? Remove my IUD. GTFOH
I’m experimenting with supplements to adjust my hormone levels until I find a new doc. It’s helping.
Planned Parenthood was great for me regarding perimenopause. I recommend checking them out for it.
My doctor suggested that too, but I liked my copper IUD and didn’t want to use a different method. Well, I was due to replace it last spring, and after one adjustment month of steady spotting, my period is now 5.5 days (and most of those light) instead of 8 and mostly heavy. The difference is shocking & unexpected. Same brand, same type. So maybe worth a try if you can afford it? The removal and insertion were the same appointment.
Sort of related: in my late 30s I became gluten intolerant, which I did not know at the time. It caused me to go into menopause before I was 40. It took a few years and I had low A, D, and E vitamin levels, which lead to other stomach issues. Anyway, if you start to have weird symptoms, please get a check up. It’s unfortunately more common to start to be pre diabetic, have thyroid issues, or like in my case gastrointestinal problems, which can also mimic/ cause peri menopause.
Going through it now. Wake up at ungodly hours in the morning, feel like my heart is going to jump out of my throat, and my skin is disintegrating around me. What a horrible, horrible time.
I can recommend extended release melatonin, a natural hormone. It helps to fall alsleep and stay asleep through the night.
The middle-of-the-night wakeups and accompanying hot flashes are brutal. I take 5-HTP and Ashwaganda and it really helps calm/cool me back to sleep. Melatonin gets me to sleep but gives me crazy dreams that wake me up again.
Naomi is awesome for bringing attention to this. It’s fairly hellish and manifests in every body system. Mentally and physically and emotionally. If this happened to men there would be alot more things available to help. My anxiety has always been with me but now I have full blown panic attacks. Don’t get me started about sleep weight etc. This topic here on CB is a godsend.
I’m calling bullshit on her story not having resources, lol, but the awareness is good.
@TR, why would you “call bullshit” on her lack of resources. Clearly you have no idea how poorly women’s health and reproductive health have been understood and studied. For example, women on average go a decade without being diagnosed with endometriosis, while it ravages their lives. Women are told the pain is in their heads etc. That’s only one example, but women’s health issues are neglected at every turn in the medical system.
Adult elite white woman doesn’t have resources? If she doesn’t it’s even worse for her willful ignorance
I’m an adult elite white woman, I changed to a obgyn Dr that not only female but my same age. she was truly sympathetic about my symptonys and well aware of the pain i was going thru. My husband and mother suggested and ablation first and i went along with it. 4 months later I was back to bleeding 3 weeks out of 4 and having pain. I decided I wanted a full hysterectomy. I got it a week later. turns out not only did i have fybriods, like she thought but i also had the beginnings of endometrosis. best decison I ever made. Now im on estridal, after I tried the eemht. It made me break out and made made my skin oily. too much testorsterone, not to mention the gorgeous witch beard I was growing plus the new mustache! I’m very happy with the estridal I’m taking now. No more hot flashes, no more beard or mustache. Find a dr that you trust! even if you have to change several. I’m in the nursing field and was able to talk to nurse friends about who was the best. Be proactive and open up about your experience, not all women want to put it out there unless another woman does it first!
I forgot to mention that i was in my late 30’s when I first met with my Dr. that was willing to help me. She understood, that having 2 almost grown children at the time and telling her i didnt want anymore was a plus+. You don’t have to be in your 40’s or later to start dealing with periomenopause to get help. Ask your friends. find a different Dr. I was miserable, mood swings, hot flashes I couldn’t control. bleeding for weeks. I’d be in meetings at work and burst into a hot flash! Thankfully my boss, recognized the symptons, due to his wife, and asked for the AC to be lowered. still very embarrasing
At 36? Completely understandable. At 36 many women (at least in her socio-economic/professional strata) were first starting families, not entering menopause. There were plenty of people to talk to about difficulties in getting pregnant, but not for the reasons she was dealing with. Getting a doctor to discuss perimenopause with a 36 year old is damn near impossible. Finding women in their late 40s or 50s to discuss perimenopause is easy. In your mid-30s, not so much.
At 36 it’s very unusual to start menopause so yes I would think that was difficult. How nice for you to make assumptions about other people’s experiences-that must stand you in good stead in real life.
Resources doesn’t mean money, it means information, places and people to go to to guide and reassure you and provide some knowledge about what’s going on. Money doesn’t always give you that. I’m 37 and a life science scientist and if I started menopause right now, I’d feel completely at loss because it’s something you think you’ll experience a decade from now and most of what is known by health professionals is also aimed for 40-something women, not people in their 30s
Me too. I’m 61 years old and there were a million resources available. That is not to say that I wouldn’t buy what she is selling.
Perhaps her use of the word “resources” means trying to control mood changes, anxiety, insomnia, hot flashes, etc. naturally, not being give a bunch of HRT, anti-depressants and sleeping pills. I just about lost my mind when I had to go off HRT in 2016 due to breast cancer and went into instant and horrific menopause because I’d had a complete hysterectomy in my early 40s. It took me a few years of doing a lot of research on safe, natural methods of mitigating the awful symptoms. She had to go through it 20 years ago when there was far less information and fewer products available to help women cope.
When I started menopause, and I was having debilitating hot flashes 26 + a day, I kept track with a notebook. But my male doctor said, well there isn’t anything that can be done about that. He was wrong of course. But I believed him at first, because I didn’t know any better. I was 55 years old, 5 years ago. Eventually, I saw a woman GYN and she did help me but my PCP wants me off the patch and pill and tells me it’s not safe to stay on the medication I have for hot flashes. But is that true? Since they are busy studying men all the time, do they really know? I recommend a book to everyone, It’s called “Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men”, by Caroline Criado Perez.
I believe her when she says she had no resources, there really aren’t many unless you see a women doctor who maybe cares about the issue herself.
If resources are not there, they are not there. And for women’s health, THEY ARE NOT THERE. It doesn’t matter how rich or how white you are — if you’re a woman, the medical industry is very highly likely to treat you like absolute garbage. They don’t research things affecting women, they don’t care about things affecting women. And that is YES ALL WOMEN. Misogyny affects all women, every single one.
Which is why Planned Parenthood is so necessary.
I am a minority. NO RESOURCES! This isn’t a race issue. It is a women’s health crisis all over the world. I had to find UK blogs to help me with my symptoms. I live in Missouri. I see women from all over the world with peri fears and worries.
I have to use sliding scale low income & you would think by statistics I would have bad women’s health care. I do have a doctor who is well versed in peri. The point is if you don’t have a doctor who is not well researched about peri it doesn’t matter what color you are or income level you are in. You will just be screwed and receive horrific care.
There always been advice and references. Modern references usually are to throw medicine at women at a time when our bodies are going through drastic changes and these medicines will only improve symptoms for short term.
I agree Hecate with what you said about this community sharing stories. I don’t feel so alone.
I like this project and agree this needs to be openly discussed.
Information and choices plus others to share with helps!
+1 The lack of credible information and knowledgeable medical providers is terrible.
Perimenopause was the worst. Hot flashes, emotional, uneven periods (months with nothing and then Niagara Falls for days) but the absolute worst was the insomnia – years of it. And of course being unable to sleep affects every aspect of your life. So glad that pot was legalized in Canada and that I discovered CBD oil to finally help me sleep.
There’s a Canadian women comedy troupe called Baroness Von Sketch and they do a skit about perimenopause. Look it up – and watch it – it’s hilarious because it’s so sadly true….”It can’t be – is it?” “Is it?”
I’m 46 and haven’t had a period for many months. Then last month, I had a full on period like I haven’t had in years. I guess I’m going through peri menopause? I asked my mom about menopause and what it’s like but she said she didn’t remember much about it. So that was no help lol. I feel like how Naomi is talking about, alone in this. Most of my friends are younger and haven’t gone through it. And with older people I know, it doesn’t really come up. It’s weird. So I get what she’s saying. And this lack of knowledge leaves me scared about what’s to come as I get older. I’m scared especially as I get closer to 50. Makes me wonder what else the future has in store for me.
Same response I got from my mom. She’s in her late 70’s and says she doesn’t remember what it was like. She doesn’t even remember how old she was when she hit menopause. Sigh.
Mom realized she was going through menopause when she saw one of my tampon wraps in the garbage and realized she hadn’t needed one in months. She came into the living room doing a happy dance/song “I don’t have periods and you do, sucker!” and that was it. She was lucky, never had any symptoms or anything. And since she had terrible PMS mood swings before, living with her was much nicer during/post menopause!
Menopause is defined as going a year without having a period. If you haven’t had a period for many months, you’re probably going through actual menopause.
I started getting night sweats in my early 30’s. In my late 30’s, I felt like my hormones were flexing on me every two years and I had to switch up birth control accordingly. I suffer from cystic, hormonal acne so these changes were so obvious and the depression that came with these changes was awful. Once I hit my 40’s, I developed estrogen dominance and since then, it’s been a struggle to keep me balanced. The estrogen dominance had me gain 20lbs in the span of 3 months, I was spotting daily for 9 months straight, getting recurring yeast infections, more cystic and a good majority of it was happening during the lockdown so it was “fun” not really being able to see anyone in person about this.
Now its joint pain and muscle fatigue. Insomnia. The cysts come and go during these fluctuations. I’m tired all the time. Yo-yo weight gain. Hormonal hay fever (Yep! That’s a thing). Digestive issues. And the joy of getting a 7-day period not just once a month, but twice!
I’ve started seeing an endocrinologist and it’s helping a lot, but it really takes time and patience to manage and balance the hormones. I also use an OTC Progestin supplement cream made of wild yams. It helps. But overall, perimenopause sucks!
I love this. Years of endometriosis undiagnosed here, and then fibroids causing bleeding so profuse I couldn’t leave the bed without gushing through a tampon and a basic diaper. No way to work like that when you’re bleeding that much. Then add in the burst ovarian cysts. A pain unmatched, and the doctors shrug and give a Motrin.
Finally my new doctor heard about my frequent ovarian cyst bursting and he was horrified I had no pain killer for it and set me up properly. He was young, so maybe younger doctors are getting educated about women’s health in new ways? Of course that will be stopped now post Roe.
I love that Naomi is raising awareness about perimenopause, and I really enjoy reading your articles about this topic- keep em coming. In my country, this is also a “silent topic”, we need to share our experience, half of the population is going through this, and the doctors are often so clueless, its embarassing. What about research and development of healthy treatments? Women in perimenopause do not deserve to suffer in silence.
News flash: Women who have hysterectomies still go through menopause.
I had a hysterectomy and ovaries removed in my early 40s (1994) so went on HRT and it was great. Until 2016 when I was diagnosed with breast cancer and had to go off cold turkey. It was a nightmare — 30 to 40 debilitating hot flashes daily, terrible insomnia, loss of sex drive, my lady bits dried up, it was awful. Took me a few years of research, trying this and that, and I’ve finally landed on a combination of supplements that really help mitigate the problems. I’m so glad Naomi is highlighting this issue. Some women breeze through perimenopause, others like me who went through surgically induced menopause, not so much.
I really appreciate you all sharing your experiences. Regarding hot flashes, have you guys heard of a watch called Embr? It’s a portable temperature control device; you wear it on your wrist like an Apple Watch and it basically makes you feel cooler. I was thinking about getting one. I don’t have hot flashes, so I don’t know how it would work with them. But the company is marketing it towards people who get hot flashes, so I was curious if any of you have tried it. Pricey, but maybe worth it
Of course we do…. I’ve had my h ysterectomya year ago… The sweating drives me crazy. I’m always hot…
My cholesterol went up to the roof (yes, with menopause, your cholesterol is no longer under control, our hormones helped to protect our veins and heart)
My sleep pattern is becoming somewhat normal now… Didn’t help that I had bilateral frozen shoulders after the surgery, which caused me lots of pain.
Started having joint pain (knees mostly) – don’t know if it’s menopause, the meds for cholesterol or the fact that I had Covid 3 months ago….
But I prefer menopause to the constant anaemia I had before… Stopped having headaches and nausea…
Thank you so much for saying this. I’m one month post total abdominal hysterectomy at 41 after finding a mass while trying to get pregnant. I’m in the UK and the tone here is horrible. The burden of education is placed entirely on the scared and anxious patient. I was basically told that I’ll have hot flashes and I’ll cry a lot, and to join a support group online if I need to talk to someone.
You can find a menopause trained doctor at The North American menopause society website https://www.menopause.org/
The podcast You are Not Broken has good information about menopause and sexual function. The host is a female urologist. Highly recommend the October 2021 interview of Dr James Simon.
@Moo: Thank you for these resources 🙂
Knowing you’re going through menopause is important, at least in my family. Your doc can do a bone density test and if you need it, start you on Raloxifene (“Evista”). As an added bonus, it can also cut risk of invasive breast cancer in half. My mom had both osteoporosis and breast cancer, but back then they didn’t have Raloxifene for post-menopause women.
A lot of comments are about menopause, but she’s talking about PERI menopause. They are different (obviously related) things. I had no idea it existed until I started going through it a couple years ago, in my mid-40s as is the normal time. I had better health/sex education than most women my age, but I didn’t know this existed until it smacked me and the people at Planned Parenthood said “Yep, that’s perimenopause.”
There are hardly any resources about it out there, and they’re contradictory. Women go through different things with it. My sex drive is through the roof, I have fewer mood swings than I used to, but my sleep is so completely disrupted I can’t even remember what a normal sleep pattern was like.