Good Morning America has released more segments from Diane Sawyer’s exclusive interview with Rihanna (video here), and they are just as devastating as you would expect. I have to admit, I found myself tearing up watching this. Part of why Rihanna made me so emotional is because I genuinely feel sorry for the girl – she really seems to be struggling, she really seems devastated by what happened between her and Chris Brown. Another part of why this gets me emotional is that I feel so frustrated with her and with the situation, because I think she made some big mistakes after Chris Brown assaulted her, and because I think she was dumb, and she sent out a dumb message to young women everywhere. Frustration and pity gets me weepy.
Rihanna admits that it was “wrong” to go back with Chris after he beat the hell out of her, and she tries to explain it by saying that, in her mind, it was about love and forgiveness: “It’s pretty easy to go back. You start lying to yourself. The physical wounds go away. You want this thing to go away. This is a memory you don’t want to ever have again.” Rihanna says that it wasn’t until she realized the horrible message she was sending to her young fans that she realized she needed to leave him: “When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result in some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part. I couldn’t be responsible for that. Even if Chris never hit me again, who’s to say their boyfriend won’t? Who’s to say they won’t kill these girls? I didn’t realize how much of an impact I had on these girls’ lives until that happened.” Rihanna says she felt like “F love” and that it wasn’t about love. Finally.
In her first television interview since she was assaulted by Chris Brown, Rihanna says it was “humiliating” and “traumatizing” to admit the incident happened and that it was “wrong” of her to take Brown back.
“That’s embarrassing that that’s the type of person that I fell in love with,” the singer, 21, told Diane Sawyer on ABC’s Good Morning America Thursday (the entire interview airs Friday on 20/20). “So far in love. So unconditional that I went back. It’s humiliating to say this happened. To accept that? It’s a traumatizing experience.”
During the interview, she confirmed that Brown, 20, held her in a headlock twice and bit her on the ear and fingers the night before the Grammys.
“I stayed. I even went back after he beat me, which was wrong,” Rihanna said. “But again … I’m a human being and people put me on a very unrealistic pedestal. And all these expectations, I’m not perfect.”
Rihanna – who drops a new album, Rated R, Nov. 23 – said she wanted to speak out now to help others who may be in a similar situation.
“It’s completely normal to go back. It’s not right. I learned the hard way, but again, this is what I want people to know,” she said. “When I realized that my selfish decision for love could result in some young girl getting killed, I could not be easy with that part. I couldn’t be held responsible for going back.
“Even if Chris never hit me again, who is to say that their boyfriend won’t? Who’s to say that they won’t kill these girls?” she went on. “These are young girls and I just didn’t realize how much of an impact I had on these girls’ lives until that happened.”
Rihanna said the past few months have been one of the “most lonely times” for her because “nobody understands what it’s like.”
Said the singer, “There are a lot of women who’ve experienced what I did, but not in the public. So it made it really difficult. I just felt like, ‘Oh my God, here it goes, my little bit of privacy.'”
Meanwhile, Brown — who was sentenced to five years of probation, six months of community service and one year of domestic violence counseling in August — tells MTV News in a new interview that he still doesn’t understand his actions.
“My thoughts [when I look back on it now] is like, ‘Why did it happen?’ Like, ‘What was I thinking? What is wrong with you?’ That’s what I’m thinking with myself. That’s what my thoughts are, basically, now,” says the R&B musician.
He said he is ready to move on.
Said Brown, “It’s like, ‘How do we get past it? How do you, Chris’ – talking to myself – ‘how do you go from point A to point B? How do you learn from your mistakes, turn it into a positive and help other people with the situation, and at the end of the day become the person that you want to be?'”
[From Us Weekly]
That’s actually surprised me – that Chris Brown is doing interviews the same week as Rihanna’s publicity stuff is gearing up, the same week she gives her first big interview about the assault. Chris is so f-cking dumb, he didn’t even realize that this is the one week that he should just shut the hell up and take it quietly. Instead, he’s whining about how he doesn’t know “why” it happened. Here is the full Chris Brown interview at MTV. He makes me sick.
He never once says ‘I’ when discussing his actions, but ‘you’ as though what happened was outside of himself–the actions of someone else. It’s hard to say ‘I beat up women,’ so he just doesn’t say it. He will never take responsibility for this. He compartmentalizes his actions like someone with a personality disorder.
“why did it happen”?
um…because you’re an abusive assh*le who can’t control his anger?
I think a lot of us have been in rihanas shoes- I know I have. What I hope girls understand is that men like that don’t change, and will always be abusive in some form or another. What got me out is thinking- I can deal with this, but I don’t want any child I have to deal with this. And if u stay, there will inevitably be kids, eventually
Poor girl. I am not a big fan of hers, but she didn’t deserve any kind of abuse, no one does. I can’t imagine how hard it is for her to talk about this, knowing millions of people are sitting aside, waiting to tear her apart (because some are). But, on top of that, to feel like maybe she influenced some girls who are being abused to go back to their bf because she went back to Chris Brown? It’s just heartbreaking.
I just love that Chris Brown thinks that everyone still loves him and he’s still going to have this amazing career and everything will be hunky dory. I swear, if he wasn’t surrounded by all manner of bodyguards, I would like to take a few swings at him, and I’m sure many others would too. I wonder how bad a bow-tie beating would hurt?
“How do you learn from your mistakes? How do you turn this into a positive?”
Jeeez. He’s trying so hard to be good but he just doesn’t get it, does he? Chris, it is NOT ALL ABOUT YOU and beating your girlfriend to a pulp is not a learning experience, one of those little bumps in the road that are tragic or painful but from which we all ultimately learn and grow and become better people.
No, you beat up your girlfriend.
Just apologise massively, accept responsibility, go seek anger management therapy – but first and foremost DON’T DO IT AGAIN. End.
why is c.Brown even getting a chance to do interviews?? at MTV no less?!
I dont even want to listen to any of his music EVER
Wow, I can’t believe she confirmed that she went back to him. Well I’m glad she realized the error and left his sorry ass…
Isn’t it striking how much more emotional Rihanna’s interview is than any of the ones Chris has given? It’s like it really happened to her, while he sees it as something that happened to someone else – just a talking point.
Bravo to Rihanna for opening up finally and talking about this. This whole process must have been incredibly challenging for her. I hope she never has to go through anything like that again and that discussing her experience publicly will help others as well. Having said all that, however, I do find it interesting that she’s doing the interview circuit now, just as her new CD is about to drop. Just sayin’….
I can’t wait for the usual Chris Brown apologists to show up!
You should go to TMZ and other posts. Its not all on her side. This is the only site I have been to that feels sorry for her? I heard about it, but didnt pay much attention since I didnt know either of them.
I think Rihanna is brave to do the interview. Her pain is still evident and the burden of her role model status while a toll may have saved her life by helping her realise going back to that cretin was a mistake not just for her but for the message it sent.
As for timing, well, she’d be expected to do the publicity for the album. By doing this interview she can rightly do the rest of the publicity stuff without it being the elephant in the room. She can say she’s covered the topic and won’t be answering any more questions about it.
Tia, I’ve thought about that too. I think the fact is she has to promote her album (it’s undoubtedly in her contract to do so) and there will be no way to avoid the questions in doing so. While she could, she kept to herself about it; I think she needed that time to heal and come to terms with it all. So either she tackles the curiosity head on, in an interview like this, or takes them as they come from E News and STAR! reporters and their ilk. I’d rather talk it out with a serious journalist, myself.
This poor kid. Plenty of older, supposedly wiser women suffer years and years of abuse before they are able to come to terms with it in the way she has. She’s going to be okay, and I’m glad she’s using her experience to tell young girls it’s not something that should be accepted.
Oh, hey, Feebee said it better, with less words, too.
@ Feebee – yeah, what you’re saying about the timing makes sense. Of course she has to do publicity for her CD. And she may as well talk about the elephant in the room and get it overwith.
I don’t know why people expect more from celebrities. They are people too. Rihanna is just another woman who got into an abusive relationship. Just because she’s rich and famous doesn’t mean she’s immune to problems and mistakes of non-celebrities. This is a difficult subject to talk to with friends and family. So expecting Rihanna to be a spokesperson the day after it happened is a bit much. Yes she’s talking about it now because she has a cd out. But I doubt it’s about sales and more about getting it over with. She can’t promote a cd without reporters asking about it.
good to see her looking angry. you get the sense she had a giant disillusioning experience, with chris, obviously, but also with the world, her fame, love in general, etc. this is the first time ive thought it seems like she’ll be ok. lindsay could use the same kind of major reality check, although not via a beatdown of course. riri got a clue. whatever tiny shred may be left of brown’s career is going to be OVAH once the segment where she gives the details of what happened airs. dunzo.
Looks like this is going to be a really good interview unlike that ass kissing session Oprah had with Whitney Houston.
marlow: i dont look to freaking tmz.com to help me form my opinions on domestic violence, thanks. and, for the millionth time, it DOESNT MATTER if rihanna was being a b*tch, or slapped chris or whatever – if she did those things, that makes HER behavior wrong and shows they may have had a mutually emotionally abusive relationship, it does not in any way mitigate the wrongness of his.
Go to TMZ? 😆 😆 NO THANKS, Perez is a sociopath himself and in my opinion, anbody that forms their opinions from his site and his moronic young minions is sadly delusional. There is no excuse for what CB did. He still has yet to eat crow on this. Even Kayne has done a better job of showing remorse for a stage antic than Chris Brown has done for almost killing his girlfriend he supposedly loved.
Riri need to shut up. How convinent that she is “sharing” when her album is going to drop. she had plenty of time from feb to oct to expose her feelings about this but she chose now — NOW!!! whatever Riri you and Chris know what really happened in that car. Puhleeze you know what happened well before that car. You are young with too much money and no supervision. You and Chris played house and did not have the mental ability to argue with using you fist. Yes you Riri is on court records saying you hit Chris. Yes you Riri is on court record saying you pushing chris.
Whatever!!!! Cry me a river and then drown in it.
Is RiRi reading this blog now or something?
I don’t know if it comes out in this interview, but abused women return to their abuser 6 times (on average) before leaving. This makes Rihanna’s behavior pretty typical. As a survivor of spousal abuse, I am comforted to see someone who seems to “have it all” struggle with ambivalance toward an abuser. I feel less weak because she had trouble leaving, with all her resources.
I wish her the very, very best in her recovery.
She makes Megan Fox sound intelligent.
Hm, I bet no one here wonders why all the Chris Brown groupies are so literately brilliant … 😕
What does Perez have to do with TMZ? And he almost killed her? News to me. Edit: @Truth, you have issues. And bad grammar. And you can’t spell very well, since I’m at it.
Perez Hilton runs TMZ. Chris almost killed his girlfriend.
Reading is Fundamental.
perez runs TMZ? since when? (not being snotty, I really am asking!)
though it was run by some loser by the name of Harvey something…and I thought that Perez had his own site?
did I miss something?
(to embee, I’m glad you were strong enough to leave an abuser, I wish you the very best in your continued recovery.)
She had a lot going for her that many abused women don’t (tons of money, no marriage or kids to think about, public support, etc) so it’s harder to understand why she went back, especially with it all being so public. But it happens.
I’m glad she realized it was setting a very poor example for other girls, but at the same time, I wish she also would have realized that (no matter what she did or didn’t do) SHE didn’t deserve what he did to her, and that SHE deserves better for herself, not just the message it was sending.
Wow…that seemed very hard for her to talk about. Good for her! I hope she is able to completely move on from him and become an emotionally healthy woman.
“Hm, I bet no one here wonders why all the Chris Brown groupies are so literately brilliant …”
I was kind of thinking the same thing. : /
@ praise St Angie: hmm, after a little research it looks like I was wrong. I just can’t really tell those two sites apart I suppose. Their clientele seems exactly the same.
@ firestarter – yup. 😆
“I just can’t really tell those two sites apart I suppose. Their clientele seems exactly the same.”
yup, that’s how I see it, too. 😉
I was always frustratd with women who stayed in abusive relationships until my birthday, when my X grabbed me by the back of my hair and slammed my face so hard against the windowsill, I lost my front tooth split open my scalp and passed out. He had been verbally abusive for months, but I always told myself “hey, it’s not like he REALLY hits me.”
Even after that, I still went back to him, and even then, he still made me believe it was my fault, because he was tired/drunk and I should have known better. I still haven’t told my mother about that. she thinks she knows, but I lie still because I am ashamed of myself for being with him at all. I can’t imagine what would have happened had i been in the public eye. My face was covered in blood, and my skull showed through the cut on my forehead. 🙁
@Kim Su- Don’t be ashamed that you were with him. I felt that way too, but realized that these types of men put on the “party manners” for a certain period of time, and you do not see them for who they really are until they begin this type of behavior.
I too had a lovely birthday, similar to yours and that is when I decided that enough was enough and I wasn’t the reason for all of the ills in his life, he was.
You got out and that should make you proud and not ashamed! Leaving is the biggest hurdle of all and keeping them away is a nightmare until you realize that you are the one now in control and not them any longer.
I am sorry that you had to go through that, as I do know how scary and miserable and alone you must have felt. It’s over now and you are wiser for it! : )
Have you all heard about the National Coalition for Men’s stance on this?
Check it out:
The National Coalition For Men (NCFM) calls on Rihanna to discuss her own reported violence against Brown as well if she wants to shed light on the problem honestly. According to court records and other sources, Rihanna struck Brown in the face “numerous times” before Brown assaulted her. NCFM purports although that would not justify his more severe assault, her violence should not be ignored, and if she does not “woman up” to it then her message will be the usual one-sided double standards that leave female perpetration covered up.
Interesting…. but it’s not helping CB any. I’m sure the NCFM “taking up” for him will make him continue thinking he’s a victim too…
The NCFM’s job is to defend male abusers. It’s just BS spin. And Chris Brown will jump on I’m sure. 🙄
@ Truth. She has to do interviews, per her recording contract. Paris Hilton was just sued for 7 mill for not promoting a project! So, she HAS to promote her album. But, no interviewer is NOT going to ask her about Chris, and people have already criticized her for not talking, saying she’s a bad role model and condoning the abuse. So, she had to discuss it at some point.
Also, maybe she is finally ready to talk about it! Maybe she didn’t want to release her record/do press for it until she knew she was ready to finally face the public and its questions about her ordeal.
oh wow, I feel like Im reading trhe story of my life- cant help but to comment- I’m a child of abuse, I know the dynamics (so hard), oh sweet girl you got this! Get beyond those poor fools that need to degrad you, I will NEVER buy a Chris Brown record: his need to dominate, abuse, subjugate, is beyond controll: as a culture we all need to walk away from his hot mess.
Chris deserves to be able to tell his side of the story. the media is only flocking to rihanna’s side because she’s female. there were reports of her kicking his ass for 2 years before the incident back in february and no one cared. I’m not saying what he did is right but there is no way that she is innocent of any wrong doing. even still she only waited to do the interview now for publicity because it coincided with her album release. Also she claimed to have never hit him back during the entire altercation yet the reports stated that he was bitten up and bruised as well, clearly all the facts have not yet been revealed.
People are getting too into their feelings about this situation. they’ve taken it on as if it was a family member of their own and the truth is that we know nothing about either of these people and we know even less about what happened in that car. people are taking sides as if it’s a battle to be won and the fact still remains that both of them will continue to make music and have their careers.
we all know that chris’ album is going to go platinum because of the publicity alone, so people who claim his career is over should check the charts and see that he’s still climbing to the top. Rihanna will make it because feminists & battered women believe that she needs their support. But that ‘what if it was your sister or mother’ excuse will only go so far if someone doesn’t hurry up and get her a vocal coach.
a year from now no one will care about any of this
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