The third season of Love is Blind was a complete mess. A few of the men were especially awful, and Cole Barnett has gotten a lot of heat for the way he treated his fiancee, Zanab Jaffrey. Cole made unkind comparisons between Zanab and another castmate throughout the season, and when she ultimately dumped him at the altar she cited his negative impact on her self-confidence as her reason why. A lot of people thought Cole’s treatment of Zanab and her turning him down was reminiscent of Shake Chatterjee and Deepti Vempati from season two. But Deepti says the two guys are different people and Cole’s immature, but he’s growing and learning from it. Um, okay…
Imitation might be the most sincere form of flattery, but that’s not what happened on Love Is Blind.
After Zanab Jaffrey turned down fiancé Cole Barnett in the Love Is Blind season three finale, saying he “singlehandedly shattered my self-confidence,” she earned comparisons to Deepti Vempati, who rebuked Shake Chatterjee with a similar message in Love Is Blind season two.
Deepti has heard the rumblings of fans who claim Zanab was simply looking to follow in Deepti’s footsteps for the sake of a positive edit—but that’s not exactly how she sees it.
“There have been a lot of comparisons,” Deepti exclusively told E! News at the 2022 API Excellence Celebration. “I think our situations are so different. Cole and Shake are different people. There’s a side of Cole that’s a little bit immature. He’s young, but hopefully he can see himself and it seems like he’s growing and learning from it, honestly.”
Zanab previously clarified that their weddings were filmed about a week apart, so she hadn’t seen Deepti’s powerful speech on Netflix before delivering her own.
Since season three aired, Deepti said she has actually been in touch with Zanab, but she’s giving her some space after the explosive season three reunion, saying, “I just want to give her some time to get through all of the things that she’s getting through without us bombarding her with messages.”
I honestly think Deepti is giving Cole way too much grace. Their situations were different — of course, they’re all different people — but they’re also quite similar in many ways. And instead of making excuses for Cole due to his comparative age and more remorseful reaction when called out, it would be nice if Deepti was more publicly supportive of the woman who had a very similar negative experience on the show instead of doing this milquetoast “well, they’re different and Cole’s immature and he’s young…” thing. Of course the two guys are different. I thought Shake seemed way more mean-spirited in the way he spoke about Deepti and he was self-righteous and doubled-down when called out. But he was just as immature as Cole, perhaps more so considering that he’s in his 30s. Cole seemed more casually cruel than intentionally so, and seemed to express genuine remorse when called out. Unlike Shake and Deepti, Cole actually did seem into Zanab, but treated her poorly anyway. And both men spoke cruelly about their fiancee’s appearance and both made their fiancees feel less than in comparison to their usual (tiny, blonde) “type.” (Both guys now have girlfriends that fit their type).
Honestly, the racial dynamics alone are the elephant in the room for this show. Both couples skirted around it in their respective seasons, with talk about the guys’ usual “physical type,” Cole’s family refusing to meet Zanab, and Shake saying Deepti reminded him of his aunt. Raven Ross was talking about Black women, when she said the following, but I think it is relevant here too: “Unfortunately, a lot of men cast on the other side weren’t looking for that. There’s receipts of some of these guys specifically saying that that isn’t something that they’re looking for. So, to me, that’s what we should be talking about.” They should talk about it, but this show isn’t ready for that conversation.
Photos credit: Netflix
All I’ll say is that there’s nothing worse than a pick me girl.
I don’t think this is shake and deepti like what deepti said. Cole and Zanab are fundamentally different people. Cole is just a really immature guy who is shallow and inadvertently said mean things. Based on the cuties scene, you can tell there’s major breakdowns in communication. Zanab, instead of saying what you said made me feel bad about myself internalizes what she heard as a slightly mean comment into an attack on her. Cole, instead of being a normal mature guy and realizing he’s saying something potentially hurtful, just goes on talking. Given that’s the example Zanab gave as a prime example of the amount of nagging she got on her looks…I think there’s a difference between deepti and shake. Shake repeatedly made it clear to deepti that he preferred the physical looks of a white girl. At the end of the day, all this showed us is love isn’t blind and people have preferences for looks and most of the people on that show just want fame
YES
Zanab was awful though. She made up scenerios about Cole and I’m glad the producers showed the real footage of the “cuties/tangerine” scene at the end of the reunion special to show that Cole was not telling Z she shouldn’t be eating due to him having issues with her weight, but because they had a dinner reservation soon and she would be full. She totally misread that whole conversation. Cole was immature but not a bad guy.
Agree about Zanab. I believe she knew from the beginning he wasn’t for her but stayed to make herself a victim and gain fame. Her unpleasant disposition was shown throughout, critical eyeing him all the time, critical remarks to and about him, did she ever smile? I’m not saying Cole isn’t an immature jerk. I’m saying Zanab is dishonest and not very nice.
Zanab seems to have a distorted sense of reality and a lot of insecurities.Cole was an immature guy and that didn’t help.She portrayed him like an awful guy which he is not or at least that’s not what I saw and the « cuties » extension scene didn’t help me see her « point of view »
lol. Haven’t seen the show or the clip, but if a man told me not to eat a TANGERINE before our reservation because I’d be full….? I know myself thank you very much.
I saw the scene and he wasn’t seriously saying not to eat the clementines…it was a convo I wouldn’t even remember having if my husband said it. He said he was excited to go to a nice dinner and was watching the clock. Then she grabs some clementines, and he says “don’t ruin your appetite, save it for dinner.” It’s a dumb comment that shouldn’t have been said but not body shaming. Then she says she only had a banana all day – and he says “why?!? I offered you a poke bowl”.
He was being rude but not intentionally.. so yeah don’t date him but he isn’t a villain either.
I think there were significant differences between each couple and comparing them doesn’t make much sense to me. I never got the impression that Zenab was trying to be Deepti, which makes even better sense since their weddings were only filmed a week apart. Additionally, there are significant fundamental differences between all four people.
I don’t see Deepti’s comments as Pick Me, at all, and I wish the meaning of that word would return to its original AAVE context because once it became popular in other circles, it’s become over and mis-used. Deepti just stated the obvious, most likely because people have been discussing the comparison. Both dudes are just different, and so the comparison shouldn’t be made. Would it have been a nice touch if she mentioned Zanab, sure, but she isn’t required to, and she didn’t have to, and not doing so is not indicative of how “down with the cause” she is. She’s just directly speaking to the comparison between dudes.
Has Zanab ever addressed the extension cuties scene?
No but I think she believes that scene proves her point. Because she sees it one way, he saw it another – and the same with viewers. Those with body issues are triggered and those without are like….”that’s it?”
Wouldn’t Nancy’s suitor be the equivalent to Shake? He was far worse in how he treated that girl…
Yes!
Batiste was the worst by comparison by FAR.
Cole and Zanab were a poor match from the beginning. He was immature (but not intentionally cruel), and she obviously found that annoying as well as triggering given her own insecurities she brought into the show. Mystifying they even tried to make a go of it.
She responded to him with contempt regularly, to the point he was clearly walking on eggshells. She also seemed to willfully misinterpret a lot of what he said because she was insecure, and he wasn’t mature or sensitive enough to recognize it. No adult communication between those two at all.
I will say, Cole has expressed true regret and shown a commitment to therapy in his recent comments. He’s grown up a lot and reflected on his role in their relationship. Zanab has not. She seems stuck in a spiteful rut, which must be so difficult. I hope she finds the mental and emotional space to do the work in therapy. Right now, I would not set her up with a friend even if I thought they were a good match – to protect the friend.
Amen