Catherine, the Princess of Wales, is not a demonstrative, affectionate person. I feel safe in saying that – while it’s true we don’t know exactly what she’s like in private, we have seen her over the years enough to know that she’s physically and emotionally reserved, sometimes even awkward. She flaps her jazz hands in the air, but those jazz hands rarely land in a jazz embrace. I don’t think William is particularly affectionate, demonstrative or warm either, in that way, they’re perfectly and frigidly matched. In Netflix’s Harry & Meghan, Meghan spoke about how she didn’t realize that she wasn’t supposed to hug Will and Kate in private – Meghan believed they would be different in private, that they would act like a normal family. Meghan is a sweet summer child. But her comment landed, and now “sources” insist that Kate is affectionate too, damn it! Just the other day, she allowed her jazz hand to briefly touch a Black person for one full second before wincing.

Kate Middleton greets everyone with a “big hug and kiss,” according to a friend. Although Meghan Markle said in the new Netflix show Harry & Meghan that she was surprised by Kate and Prince William’s formality behind closed doors, a friend of the Princess of Wales tells PEOPLE in this week’s cover story that the royal is quite affectionate.

“Kate’s a big hugger,” the friend says. “She is warm and friendly and greets everyone with a big hug and kiss. It comes naturally to her to be like that.”

Recalling the first time that Meghan met Kate, the Duchess of Sussex said on the docuseries that she was “in ripped jeans and barefoot” when Prince William and Kate came over for dinner.

“Like I was a hugger, always been a hugger,” Meghan said. “I didn’t realize that that is really jarring for a lot of Brits…I guess I’d start to understand very quickly that the formality on the outside, carried through on the inside. There is a forward-facing way of being and then you close the door and you relax now. But that formality carries over on both sides. And that was surprising to me.”

[From People]

This… this is not the way to play it, Kate. Your brand is Frigid Karen, own it, you’ve maintained that brand for more than a decade. I would almost have more respect for this whole exercise if the “friend” (cough KP communications assistant cough) just admitted something like “yeah, Kate is more reserved, it’s not a crime, Meghan should respect people’s personal space.” That would be the smart way to play it, like Meghan did something wrong. The problem is that Kate is so unwell, she’s still trying to copykeen everything about Meghan. If Meghan is warm, affectionate, demonstrative and lacking in deference, then Kate has to be that way too! Or at least Kate has to order her staff has to tell people that she’s like that! *jazz hands in front of the Meghan Look Book*

Photos courtesy of Cover Images, Avalon Red.