Dolly Parton is one crazy cookie. I remember her in her days when “9 to 5” was hot. She was also in a Christmas special I loved to watch. But she is sporting more plastic than Barbie and going on tirades about hookers and her open marriage. Now she wants to package all that crazy-making into a biopic.

“Dolly wants the very best people in town to work on the project and is naturally very excited. And we hear the blonde legend wants American beauty Scarlett Johansson to play her.”

[Daily Star]

Good choice by Dolly. If Scarlett stuffed a couple of bowling balls into her bra she would be on the money. Parton’s most notable assets have been her best weapons since, I am guessing, birth. After she passes into the great big plantation in the sky she joked that her chest would live on.

“I can just see two big mountains growing up out of my grave, and people going around on mule rides to look at them. Throughout my whole career, I’ve been known for two things – I’m talking about my music and my lyrics!”

Parton is also trying to sell her idea to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes. She is desperate to have the TomKat team produce the biopic. She feels that Tom, Katie and Scarjo would be the best-of-the-best to bring her film to life.

My guess is that the hard-core Dolly fans out there will make a yearly pilgrimage to see the temple erected in her honor. Perhaps they could take those donkey rides to the top and find inner piece or a buffet of grits and a shrine made of acrylic fingernails dedicated to her memory.

Note by Celebitchy: I doubt this story is true, but with Dolly talking so much smack lately you never know. I was thinking they already have a sort-of shrine to Dolly Parton. There’s an amusement park in Tennessee called Dollywood, and checking out the website I can say that I would go there with my family if I had any other reason to be be in Tennessee. It looks like it pays homage to Tennessee’s past along with having modern rides and family shows. Have any of you ever been there and was it fun?

Scarlett Johansson is shown on 5/3/2007 at a Louis Vuitton party for Oxfam. Dolly Parton is shown on 6/7/07 at the Songwriters Hall of Fame Ceremony. Thanks to PRPhotos.

Update: I am using a Vodaphone connection temporarily, one of those mobile connections that you plug into a USB port, as I just moved and don’t have Internet at home yet. It does this weird thing where it doesn’t download the entire image data, and just shows fuzzy images. I thought it was just happening on my computer and that you guys would see clearer images, but it’s also affecting the images I download from PRPhotos. I found a workaround for newer posts than this, but I just wanted to let you know that there are fuzzy images on this post and on other posts with pictures from PRPhotos for the last week or so, and that I didn’t figure out what was happening until now.