I have a bizarre love/hate relationship with Snoop Dogg. Since I was thirteen, I’ve had random frightening nightmares with him in it. Once he was shooting rubber bullets at me off Sepulveda Boulevard in Los Angeles. Another time he was following me through this weird maze of rope bridges in the jungle. In the most recent one, he was dancing naked around a funeral pyre with these bizarre sticks in his hair. For whatever reason, Snoop is clearly deeply entrenched in my subconscious. And that scares the crap out of me. He’s been tried for murder a couple of times, rape once, and more drug and weapons charges than you can shake a stick at. Yet he’s also a family man who does a lot of volunteer work in his community, founded and coaches a youth football league, and sponsors their annual Super Bowl, called the Snooper Bowl. And just coming up with such a great name as Snooper Bowl makes me like him so much that I can pretty much overlook all the other stuff. Which doesn’t speak highly of me, I know.

I am opposed to reality television in all forms, and have only watched the tiny bit I have for work. Yes dear readers, I subject myself to that unmitigated crap solely for your benefit. That’s a lotta love right there. But I have to say, I’m really excited for Snoop’s new reality show on E! “Snoop Dogg’s Father Hood.” Apparently we will see Snoop in his natural habitat, see what kind of a dad he is, and get to watch part of the Snooper Bowl.

Us: E! is touting your family as including your “surprisingly unaffected” children. Are you worried that they’ll become divas with all the cameras around?
SD: Well, they might, but I just feel like they’re kids. [Viewers] get a chance to see kids who have a celebrity as a father just dealing with life and them becoming celebrities as well, because that’s what the camera brings. Now they have cameras in front of them, so I’m pretty sure their lifestyles will change, but for the most part my sons are not affected. My daughter really loves me in front of the camera.

Us: You coach your youngest son’s football team and have developed a related charity, right?
SD: We won our Super Bowl game last Sunday! I got 32 kids on my team – the Pomona Steelers – and the Snoop Youth Football League has 2,500 kids, 2,000 football players and 500 cheerleaders.

Us: In the show’s second episode, David Beckham helps teach you and your boys the “other football.”
SD: Yeah! He’s gonna show the fellas how to expand and do something outside the box. We’re so used to American sports – baseball, basketball, football – I wanted my kids to see something other than that: Futbol!

Us: With so many other celebrity families on reality shows, how do “The Doggs” fit in?
SD: This ain’t the Huxtables! We’re a black family with money, but we don’t do it like that.

Us: What do you think viewers will enjoy most?
SD: The camaraderie between me, my kids and my wife. It ain’t made up. A lot of times you can see these TV shows and you can just see the fakeness.

[From Us Weekly]

I think the fakeness is one of the 88 reasons I generally can’t watch reality TV. Plus I really like a traditional sitcom with a laugh track. That way I can be told when to think something’s funny. I don’t want to tax my brain too hard. Snoop really does come across as a family man. It’s interesting to see how much people change in ten years time. I really doubt anyone thought he’d be a devoted father of three the first time they heard “Gin & Juice.” Which, interestingly enough, I can rap all the words to. You know you just started respecting me more. Maybe someday Snoop will ask me to be a guest star. And I can tell him to get the hell out of my subconscious. Or dance naked around a fire, whatever.