Since October 2018, there’s been a debate about when the Duke and Duchess of Sussex told Harry’s family about Meghan’s pregnancy. We heard in real time, right after Princess Eugenie’s wedding to Jack Brooksbank, that Harry and Meghan “announced” they were expecting at Eugenie’s reception. I tend to believe that the Yorks were mad about the Sussexes “stealing Eugenie’s thunder” and the Yorks were the original source of the reporting. Then in Omid Scobie and Carolyn Durand’s Finding Freedom, they sort of confirmed the Yorks’ story and claimed that Harry and Meghan were telling people at Eugenie’s wedding and that Eugenie wasn’t too happy about it. So what did Prince Harry say about this stale gossip in his memoir? Well… um, he confirms Finding Freedom’s version, although he doesn’t say if Eugenie was mad.
The Duke of Sussex, 38, wrote that he and Meghan hoped to start a family after tying the knot in May 2018. A few months later, they were thrilled to learn that the Duchess of Sussex, 41, was expecting, and told the royal family at his cousin Princess Eugenie’s wedding that October.
Writing that they were “deliriously happy” for Eugenie and her groom, Jack Brooksbank, Harry said that he and Meghan delayed departing for their first royal tour as a married couple to attend the wedding festivities. The celebrations also gave the Sussexes “a chance to pull aside family members one by one and tell them our good news.”
“At Windsor, just before a drinks reception for the bride and groom, we cornered Pa in his study. He was sitting behind his big desk, which afforded his favorite view, straight down the Long Walk… He was delighted to learn that he was going to be a grandfather for a fourth time; his wide smile warmed me,” Prince Harry said of confiding in his father, King Charles III.
“After the drinks reception, in St. George’s Hall, Meg and I pulled Willy aside. We were in a big room, suits of armor on the walls. Strange room, strange moment. We whispered the news, and Willy smiled and said we must tell Kate,” he continued of telling Prince William and Kate Middleton. “She was across the room, talking to [her sister] Pippa. I said we could do it later, but he insisted. So we went and told Kate and she also gave a big smile and hearty congratulations. They both reacted exactly as I’d hoped — as I’d wished.”
Yeah, so… Harry and Meghan were telling close family at Eugenie’s wedding, but they didn’t make some big announcement in the middle of the reception and they weren’t telling everyone there. Now, did William, Kate and Charles spread the news around? Perhaps. Was it “bad form” to tell people at Eugenie’s wedding? Eh. Harry took pains to say that he only told Charles, William and Kate. I also suspect it was the first time he saw his family in several weeks/months too.
How this story developed over the years is a real case study in the media trying to drive wedges between family members. What was nice about Spare is that Harry made it pretty clear that he’s always been super-tight with Eugenie. We can see that with how close they still are, and how she visited the Sussexes in California last year. Maybe there are some minor family squabbles about thunder-stealing, but I trust that Eugenie is still tight with the Sussexes no matter what.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, WENN.
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- The Duchess of Sussex and the Duke of Sussex after the wedding of Princess Eugenie to Jack Brooksbank at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle.,Image: 534311896, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: NO UK USE FOR SEVEN DAYS – Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries contact Avalon.red – sales@avalon.red London: +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles: +1 (310) 822 0419 Berlin: +49 (0) 30 76 212 251 Madrid: +34 91 533 4289, Model Release: no, Credit line: – / Avalon
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- 12/10/2018. Windsor, United Kingdom. Princess Eugenie of York arrives for her wedding to Mr Jack Brooksbank. Members of the Royal Family and Guests arrive at Windsor Castle for The wedding of Her Royal Highness Princess of Eugenie of York and Mr Jack Brooksbank.,Image: 534315034, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: WORLD RIGHTS – Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries contact Avalon.red – sales@avalon.red London: +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles: +1 (310) 822 0419 Berlin: +49 (0) 30 76 212 251 Madrid: +34 91 533 4289, Model Release: no, Credit line: – / Avalon
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- HRH Princess Eugenie of York and Jack Brooksbank, leaving St George’s Chapel after their wedding, Windsor Castle, Berkshire, UK. 12/10/2018.,Image: 534315571, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: WORLD RIGHTS – Fee Payable Upon Reproduction – For queries contact Avalon.red – sales@avalon.red London: +44 (0) 20 7421 6000 Los Angeles: +1 (310) 822 0419 Berlin: +49 (0) 30 76 212 251 Madrid: +34 91 533 4289, Model Release: no, Credit line: – / Avalon
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- USA Rights Only – London, UK -20181012-Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank during their Wedding Ceremony at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle. -PICTURED: Prince Harry and Meghan Duchess of Sussex -PHOTO by: PA Images/INSTARimages.com -39082033.jpg This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Instar Images LLC for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Instar Images LLC reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded
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- The Duchess of Sussex arrives ahead of the wedding of Princess Eugenie to Jack Brooksbank at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle.
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- The Duke and Duchess of Sussex take their seats ahead of the wedding of Princess Eugenie to Jack Brooksbank at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle.
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- The Duchess of Cambridge with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex at the wedding of Princess Eugenie to Jack Brooksbank at St George’s Chapel in Windsor Castle.
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- 12/10/2018. Windsor, United Kingdom. Princess of Eugenie of York and Mr Jack Brooksbank Wedding. Catherine The Duchess of Cambridge, Meghan, The Duchess of Sussex, Countess of Wessex joins Members of the Royal Family arrive at Windsor Castle for The wedding of Her Royal Highness Princess of Eugenie of York and Mr Jack Brooksbank.
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- The wedding of Princess Eugenie of York and Jack Brooksbank in Windsor Featuring: Prince William, William Duke of Cambridge, Catherine Middleton, Catherine Duchess of Cambridge, Kate Middleton, Meghan Duchess of Sussex, Meghan Markle, Prince Harry, Harry Duke of Sussex Where: Windsor, United Kingdom When: 12 Oct 2018 Credit: John Rainford/WENN
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- The wedding of Princess Eugenie of York and Jack Brooksbank in Windsor Featuring: Prince William, William Duke of Cambridge, Catherine Duchess of Cambridge, Catherine Middleton, Kate Middleton, Meghan Duchess of Sussex, Sophie Countess of Wessex Where: Windsor, United Kingdom When: 12 Oct 2018 Credit: John Rainford/WENN
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- The wedding of Princess Eugenie of York and Jack Brooksbank in Windsor Featuring: Princess Eugenie, Jack Brooksbank Where: Windsor, United Kingdom When: 12 Oct 2018 Credit: John Rainford/WENN
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- The wedding of Princess Eugenie of York and Jack Brooksbank in Windsor Featuring: Princess Eugenie, Jack Brooksbank Where: Windsor, United Kingdom When: 12 Oct 2018 Credit: John Rainford/WENN
This is a tough one for me. I like Harry and Meghan, but I do think that was rude to do – they had other ways to contact Will and Charles before hand. But Eugenie still seems to be very close to them, so who knows how she felt about it at the time. Maybe she didn’t care at all
Why was it rude? Did they stand up on a stage and make a public announcement? Harry said he went to speak to Charles who was in his study. He then told William, who told him to tell Kate. I am trying to understand who they offended. Nothing they did took away from the joyful day and in fact one of those three leaked this to the press.
I would have called them all before the wedding so I wasn’t bringing it up at the event. But that’s just me.
Nice to know what you would do, but I repeat my question. If he privately told Charles, William and then Kate, who exactly was offended and why was that rude. Was it rude to Charles? He seemed pleased to be expecting a fourth grandchild. Same with the reaction of the others.
How on earth could Eugenie and Jack be offended when they were not told.
Whether they are texted the day before or told on the day, this in no way took away from Eug and Jack’s day.
No, it wasn’t rude. This was Harry’s first child. He was not going to tell his father and brother over the phone that he and Meghan were expecting. This is news you tell face to face as soon as its safe to do so. Also in Spare he mentions that the wedding was the first time everyone would be together because everyone was coming in to town for the wedding.
A big family occasion where you pull outside your father, bro, and sis-in law and give them information in private is not rude or thunder stealing. Once 1of the 3 leaked it to the press THEN it stole the wedding thunder. But that’s on the leaker not Harry.
Last but not least England doesn’t do baby showers, gender reveals etc. Why would it occur to Harry to put aside a special time or place to share that news? He just told them the news in person the next time they were all together. The press demonizing that is no different then how they demonized Meghan’s baby shower in the USA, her desire for a private birth and just in general her existence.
@Slush … “I would have called them all before the wedding so I wasn’t bringing it up at the event. But that’s just me. ”
Harry and Meghan only whispered it to three people, in private, and none of the three were directly involved in Eugenie’s wedding. In fact, it may be that Eugenie and Jack didn’t even learn about Meghan’s pregnancy ‘on’ their wedding day. That is, unless the three people told of the news were wandering around the reception telling people themselves (Kate: “What nerve! She doesn’t know me well enough to ruin Eugenie’s wedding by telling me she’s pregnant!”). It seems clear to me that Harry was only concerned about his brother and father hearing the news directly from them. Could you imagine the nasty narrative if Harry and Meghan hadn’t whispered the news to Wills and Pa and everyone learned about the pregnancy in a news article?
My take is that one of the three–Charles, Kate, or William–either leaked it to the press or shared the news with someone who leaked it to the press (‘cough’ Camilla! ‘cough’). Since the only thing leaked was the news, it must have been assumed that there was a big announcement. The press then created a false nasty narrative of a big, glass clinking to bring silence to all assembled at the reception, Sussex announcement about Meghan being pregnant that stole Eugenie’s special wedding day thunder and upset all and sundry with their selfish, insensitivity.
Hello all! As a lurker whose been coming here since 2018, I don’t see this being resolved by convincing one side of the rightness or wrongness of what H&M did. We’ve all got different understandings of wedding etiquette and all of them are fine. Ultimately, the couple’s wishes are the ones that should take precedence, so if they were ok with it, then it’s fine.
I’m of the opinion that you don’t share your news on the couple’s day, but that’s based on a specific understanding of wedding culture that sees the day as the couple’s day. It’s also fine to see weddings as the family’s and friends’ communal celebration, and thus sharing news is fine.
Of course we all know this was given to the press to smear M&H. That’s a totally separate matter.
@B, I think everyone is different and it really depends on the circumstances when it comes to stuff like this.
When I found out I was pregnant for the first time, I called both of my parents immediately, even though they each lived within an hour away and I could have waited and made plans to see them. I was just so excited and wanted to tell them right away, and they were not offended in the least to be told over the phone.
Also, H&M are close to Eugenie and my guess is that she and Jack were both thrilled for them and couldn’t have cared less. If a cousin I adored told people she was pregnant on my wedding day, I would have been happy for her, and it wouldn’t have taken away from any of my happiness at getting married.
If this had happened at, for example, Pippa’s wedding, I think that would be different, and can see the Middletons being upset at the “overshadowing.” But neither Eugenie nor Jack (from what we know of them) seem petty about these sorts of things like Charles is. And Eugenie met Jack because Harry was friends with him first, I believe, so they’ve always had a special relationship.
I’m sure that *Andrew* was probably pissed, but the press tried to make it sound like it was Eugenie who was angry, and IIRC, she was “liking” posts on IG about Meghan’s pregnancy announcement a few days after her wedding. It seemed like that was Eugenie’s way of showing she was not angry or feeling “upstaged.”
This entire thing was all just the press trying to make H&M look bad (with Camilla’s help, apparently 😒).
@OnThisDay, welcome!
Because its always rude to make someone elses wedding about you. No baby announcements, proposals, etc at a someone else’s wedding!
Agree, they could have told Charles, Kate and William and even Eugenie before. Or waited until after the wedding. It didn’t need to be a conversation at the wedding.
At the same time, there were 100s of people at these receptions, if Harry only told the 3, then it shouldn’t have been a larger discussion going around unless one of those 3 started telling everyone else.
They left the next day for their Australian tour so it had to be announced before. It’s clear Meghan was showing. They told Charles before because he was in his study. He told William at the reception and he told them to tell Kate ( and they didn’t seem to want to)
I found out one of my best friends was pregnant at another friends wedding when she wasn’t drinking and it was whispered to me…not a huge announcement and didn’t take away from the wedding…H&M were perfectly entitled to think what they did was acceptable and wouldn’t have been an issue until the Australia tour went so well and it was decided to bring them down.a peg or 2 so the stage was set…the story at the time made it seem like they selfishly interrupted the speeches to tell everyone assembled!!
She was visibly pregnant as early as September, a month before this wedding! I can’t remember which event they were at, but Meghan wore a beautiful blue sleeveless dress that was barely covering her bump.
Some people just “pop” early, especially with a small frame like hers. And I don’t blame the Sussexes for waiting to tell – most people wait at least 3 months, but it may be more with a high risk pregnancy. Personally, I waited at least 6 months. Pregnancy after 35 can be complicated! Given that Archie was born in May, this would have been pretty early to announce, even to a supportive family. And remember, this was the same brother who had urged Harry to wait and wait before getting serious with MM, despite Harry being very clear about wanting a family.
Harry doesn’t say whether the news came as a shock to his immediate family, but it would be very telling if websites like CB knew about “polo baby” before Harry’s own family because we were all paying attention. They were still living at Nottingham cottage and working at KP, yet it seems like this was the first time Harry had seen his brother and father in awhile.
If I recall correctly, there were some parts of the upcoming tour Meghan had to pull out of because of her pregnancy (risk of zika virus). They would have had to change the schedule through the palace, that can’t have been all that secret. And Meghan would have had to order roomier clothes to wear – if that all went under Charles’s radar, then that tells you a lot, doesn’t it?
@Jay, it was the book launch event. Sept. 20, 2018
https://www.celebitchy.com/592986/duchess_meghan_brought_her_mom_harry_to_the_cookbook_launch_event/
Harry sharing the news privately with one person (his father) before the drinks reception and 2 people (W&K) after the drinks reception isn’t an announcement.imo I’ve taken the stand for a while now that Eugenie & Jack knew about the pregnancy before their wedding and family members not named Doria. It wouldn’t surprise me IF Harry did ask E&J if it was okay to share the news with the Three Stooges that day and they were good with it.
It wasn’t rude.
I don’t understand why is this rude. She was pregnant, the only thing to avoid stealing spotlight was to stay away from the wedding and even then this would have stolen the spotlight.
There is a lot of internalized misogyny in these comments expecting a visibly pregnant woman to stay quiet and I guess wear a muumuu?
Normal family members are usually happy when they hear someone is pregnant and in real life weddings are events where you see in person family members that you don’t often see and you catch up on life, which includes pregnancy announcements. None of this was done to hog attention from the bride. This is the media trying to vilify Meghan and people buying into it.
I certainly don’t think she should hide her body, to be clear. But if she’s visibly pregnant then they had time to tell the family before this event, no?
Well, maybe she wanted to wait until she passed a certain stage in pregnancy. I did. She is the one carrying the baby and she gets to determine when she feels comfortable announcing it. She waited 5/6 months before she announced her pregnancy with Lilli.
? She wasn’t showing she didn’t need to avoid the wedding that would draw even more attention. It’s rude to announce anything on someones wedding day. The focus should be on them
Omg, STOP with this “the focus should be on them.” This was a wedding for the public’s consumption, there were no headlines about Meghan’s pregnancy or press releases or anything of the sort dominating the coverage of Eugenie’s wedding. She had a whole weekend of celebrations. *The focus was on her*. This was announced very privately between a handful of family members. She has no ill will.
She absolutely was showing. Have you seen photos of their Australian tour? It’s very clear she is pregnant.
@slush, true, under normal circumstances, but Harry and Meghan were already under attack with leaks and twists and abuses. I would have waited with the news as well.
It wasn’t rude, he told his father and brother, it was his brother that insisted he told Kate. So they PRIVATE MY told immediate family, the question should be, who leaked the story to the press with the “eugenie was furious slant on it
If Harry said he told his father and brother, then he told his father and brother who then told his sister-in-law. There was no thunder to be stolen by telling Charles and William. Secondly, Harry doesn’t say when the other family members were told, he just mentions Charles and William so, let’s not presume anything and to start assigning “rudeness” to anyone. This family is notorious for making appointments to speak to your own father and then be told how that father is already booked up and can’t make phone conversations for the next 6 months. So, maybe this was the only opportunity Harry had, due to his father and brother’s being fully booked for the next 7 months, to inform his father and brother about their expectancy before the trip to Australia, we really don’t know. Last but not least, maybe Eugenie and Jack already knew and were already aware that Harry would tell his father and brother when he sees them at the wedding; we don’t know. Once again, since we don’t have any other facts other than what’s in “Spare”, I’m gonna go with “only Charles and William (and then Kate Middleton) were told at Eugenie’s wedding. As for the rest? I have no idea, and at this point I don’t think it really matters anymore one way or another.
And folks, Euge looked so gorgeous on her wedding day, all eyes were on the wedded couple. No amount of pregnancy announcements could steal any of Euge’s limelight, unless of course you are speaking from the tabloids’ perspective.
I bet Eugenie and Jack already knew since they are close with them. TQ would have already known also since she is supposed to be the first informed, isn’t she?
@ equality, that’s an excellent point! H&M certainly informed QEII that Meghan was expecting. Plus, my bet is on Cowmilla and KKKHate spreading the news. Anything to get H&M in trouble.
Also, if I remember correctly, the only nose out of joint was not Eugenie but her sister Beatrice. She is the one that was pissed all the way up to her own wedding and beyond.
@Taytanish, well said! @Slush is making a lot of assumptions about what actually happened and the options were available to the Sussexes to share their news. Neither Meghan nor Harry is insensitive. That they chose to share the news in a place where Willy and Charles had to behave themselves might well be something to think about.
I will say the I have mixed feelings, based upon my own family dynamics.
could they have chosen a different day to discuss? M was visibly pregnant at the wedding. we all saw the photos, and comments as such. Maybe, but of course, we don’t know the dynamics, and how often H met in the same place with KC and W? in all our peasant families, that might be every week, or maybe every so many days. my suspicion based on what I have read reading, is the their interactions are not the normal family interactions (Sunday night dinners together and all)
However I do say that I feel this this is fairly insignificant, with only 3 ppl involved, nothing like my own 5x married and divorced Mother flashing her engagement ring in the receiving line for my first (and only) wedding – exclaiming to everyone how she was newly engaged!!!! SMH!
I do think that the media spin for this was 100% Fergie and Andrew. they did not want anything but all attention on their family, anything that drew attention away from their family was the issue.
Probably Eugenie didn’t care or there would be more stink generated around that? H & M would’ve been slammed for being “rude” no matter when they announced the pregnancy, imo. Whether they did it before the wedding, during or after, I’m sure someone would’ve come up with the allegation that they were trying to outshine Eugenie’s wedding.
I don’t think it was rude, because normally family events are not public events the way British royal weddings are. Telling the immediate family isn’t rude because the public had no way of knowing that. A press release would have been rude.
Rude is wearing white to someone’s wedding and giggling/rolling your eyes throughout the ceremony. Or popping the question in the middle of the dance floor. Quietly telling a few family members before you leave on a long trip? Not rude.
But notice how the people up in arms about Harry and Meghan telling THREE people (his father, brother, and sister-in-law in private) is “wrong” have been defending Single White Kate and her white/ivory/pale yellow dress.
@Lucy, how no one has shamed her for that dress or her behaviour is astonishing. KKKHate has the manners of a goat.
Family dynamics in a fish bowl are really difficult and most of these people are rather distant and quite competitive—a very complicated situation. Clearly, H&M and E&J are very close—H&M invited their friend, but also J’s boss, to their wedding and had a lot of Casa Amigos at their reception—I think H was pretty discrete considering M was starting to show and there had already been press speculation about her pregnancy.
Rude is visibly glaring at and ignoring your brother-in-law and his wife at the Commonwealth church service. Rude is showing aggressive anger to them in public at a post-funeral walkabout. And as @Lucy states, rude is deliberately wearing white at a wedding and snickering during the ceremony. Kate continues to be the queen of mean and I’m sure she was part of the subsequent spin that Meghan and Harry were rude to tell immediate family about her pregnancy.
Spot on. It’s probably why they didn’t want to tell Kate initially. They told William and he urged them to tell Kate when they hesitated.
You know what’s rude. Dressing in a color to stand out at someone else’s wedding. Royal protocol and all. Rules/goal posts moved according to the person.
I’m feeling my Sesame Street days. One of These Things (Is Not Like the Others).
Kind of digging Sophie’s expression.
https://www.townandcountrymag.com/society/tradition/g23322735/princess-eugenie-jack-brooksbank-royal-wedding-photos/?slide=34
Great link! I didn’t remember Kate having a Marilyn moment on the steps of the church. That tracks, though.
First-time parents to-be are often burning to make the big announcement. They themselves marvel at the idea of having created life, so missteps, mishandling of timing are frequent.
It would have been rude had they intentionally planned to ruin someone else’s moment, which is obviously not the case. The Sussexes were overwhelmed with joy, so I would call the untimely announcement a forgivable maladroit blunder.
I try to be consistent, so I’ll just say that I do think this was tacky. This was E&J’s wedding day, something they’d planned, a day when everyone has gathered to celebrate their union.
It isn’t appropriate to highjack that, pulling the spotlight away from the people who invited you to share their joy. I’m sure they didn’t mean any harm, but it was tacky.
It wasn’t the end of the world, and they shouldn’t have lied if it was brought up in conversation, but it was inappropriate.
Nobody is answering me when I ask this – how is telling 3 people pulling spotlight? Did you read about it in the media coverage of her wedding? Were the guests all informed and discussing it? No. Not to mention, the 3 people he told weren’t even anyone Eugenie is particularly close to. Charles hates her father and has wanted to sideline her for years, and William and Kate have a history of snide behavior towards her.
They didn’t hijack the wedding. Harry’s dad and his brother were told in private just before the Sussexes left on a tour. There is nothing wrong with that at all.
This is a “family” where you need to make an appointment to see your grandma! Had they gone on tour without informing their closest relatives in person, they would be slammed for letting them find out when it hit the papers.
Some people just want to find fault, even when there is none.
Was the wedding held in Charles’s study? Last I checked it was at Windsor chapel. So Harry did not tell Charles at the wedding and he told William at the same event that was being held nearby the study.
No one highjacked anything
I agree; it’s a good idea to wait until after an event like a wedding. It’s great the bride was fine with it but it’s still a common courtesy to wait to share exciting news like that.
I support Harry and Meghan. I did before reading his book and more so after listening to the Audible version. I bought a copy for a friend stuck at home after surgery; she loved it. That said, I don’t love every single thing they do. No one does; its ok to say this was not cool and still see them as trail blazing, brave people.
@Eleanor I agree that it’s a little bit rude in the sense that typically, or usually, this type of news does pull focus. I also think it depends on the family and each family’s dynamics. I don’t know why any minor little criticism becomes blown up. I mean, all the things are true. It was kinda rude, but they didn’t deserve media scorn or ridicule over it, and of course, Kate is just a rude person in general.
Who said she knew? He clearly said he told Charles, William, and William dragged him to tell Kate. How did it pull focus at the wedding? You’re searching. Do you love everything that you do or anyone you know? Searching.
Fans are still not listening. To get to his own family he had to go through others and then everything is leaked. That was perhaps the only ‘perfect’ time he had when everyone was distracted by something else (the wedding) or he would have had to ‘announce’ it to everyone at the palace.
Not rude at all. They didn’t grab the mic and shout out “we’ve got a bun in the oven!”
Just another BS unwritten royal “rule.”
I dont think it was rude. He told his immediate family members and it wasnt an announcement. He pulled his father aside and told him. I feel that they dont see each other that much and that that was the occasion becuase the most important people to them were there and they were gonna leave on tour. What was rude was that somebody went to the press and announced when it should have been Eugenie’s moment. I wonder who it was, or to whom it benefited to do leak that, at that moment…
I distinctly remember the press speculating on whether or not Meghan was pregnant because she kept her coat on during Eugenie’s wedding. Obviously, she was beginning to show and if they had told no one (except 3 people in private), I could just imagine the press having a field day with endless articles of is she or isn’t she.
Hi, as a normal person, with normal people emotions, I am thrilled when my family members tell me exciting news.
I am the eldest child, in my family, but the last to have a child, should everyone else in my family abstained, until I churned out a child?
This is so fucking stupid. Keep it up, rr and brf. Seriously, keep.it.up.
They told three people, one at a time, in private conversations. I think they wanted to tell Charles & William in person, and given what we now know about these weirdos, it’s no simple matter of just running over to the house for a quick chat. There’s no thunder stealing here.
Oh please! Some people are so Karen about what they see as their “special” day! Lovely news is lovely news, and a double dose of it is double joy. I organised a huge special number b’day party for myself (with my husband and girls helping) and half way through the afternoon tea learned that my nephew and his girlfriend had just got engaged. I stopped the eating and chatting, hushed the background music and announced the engagement to all. Thunderous applause, shouts of congratulations, huge smiles (and a bit of embarrassment for the adored nephew, hehe) absolutely MADE my birthday! Such happy news 😄❤️ And, it took absolutely nothing away from my birthday party, just gave us all an extra warm glow.
I think they didn’t tell them because Charles and W and K were leaking, and a leak BEFORE the wedding would REALLY have taken away from her day as all eyes on M. They did the right thing. And meghan would have been blamed for the leak and thunder stealing.
So many new ‘I like them but…’ people on this thread. Why not ask why Bully, tampon, Kate and cams spent all their time leaking against H and M?
She looked pregnant at the wedding so something would have been said in any case. That they told Charles and W and K when pulled aside is perfectly fine and contrary to what derangers were trying to suggest by implying Meghan just hogged the spotlight and took over the reception with this announcement.
Yes she did, the minute she got out of the car I suspected especially with that coat. I do think that maybe they could’ve called people, or arranged a meeting if they really needed to do it face to face, before the wedding instead knowing that she would have to hide any indication of a growing belly and not drinking any alcohol. I’m not going to hate on them for this though, it was exciting time for them and who knows what else was going on in the background. It’s not like they were out there getting their friends to write horrific screeds about Eugenie to cover for them.
Thinking about what Harry has written about contacts with his family, it probably wouldn’t have been easy to set a meeting with them.
Agree Grace. The only time Will and Kate wanted contact with H&M is to complain about them not buying them
Easter presents.
I’m not sure how them telling them by phone or having a meeting with others face to face prior to a wedding is supposed to be more appropriate than them telling two people privately the way they did it? I mean they actually told Charles while he was at his desk which is the equivalent of them having a meeting with him privately away from others. I would think that calling a meeting with others prior to a wedding would be more of an “all about me” moment than quietly telling key people privately. She was clearly showing and they were leaving for a tour the very next day so they needed to share the news with key people before it was known by everyone.
Meghan tends to “pop” early in her pregnancies so at 3 months (I assume she waited until the end of the first trimester) she had a visible bump. I’m sure had they not told Charles, Wm and Kate about the pregnancy they would have found a way to b*tch about it.
There are chances Charles, William and Catherine had already been informed of the pregnancy. The Sussexes were under scrutiny, discreetly spied on, their phones probably tapped.
Any appointment at the Ob-gyn’s was probably reported by their security, so the trio pretended to be surprised but they knew.
She didn’t wait till three months. Eugenie’s wedding was early oct (going by memory here, and A was born latish may iirc.)
The wedding was 12 Oct, Archie was born 6 May and was over a week overdue so her due date was late April
I think they didn’t tell them because Charles and W and K were leaking, and a leak BEFORE the wedding would REALLY have taken away from her day. They did the right thing.
…Charles was in his study…? Wait wasn’t this the wedding Camilla refused to go to allegedly because she hates Andrew’s treatment of her in the nineties?
There are hundreds of way to avoid answering questions about pregnancy. Announcing it in somebody else’s wedding, it’s tacky.
Just curious how they were “announcing” it when Charles was in his study at the time they told him. Was the wedding in Charles’ study? How is it stealing thunder to quietly tell YOUR FATHER AND BROTHER privately in a study while people were elsewhere? Especially since it’s not like they see each other on the regula AND they were leaving for their Oceania tour. When do you think would have been a better time?
They quietly told people. Harry and Meghan did not hop up on stage and make the announcement. People are thrilled when they hear a new baby is on the way, relatives of the bride and groom can make these announcements and not be rude.
It wasn’t *announced*, they told 3 immediate family members in private before they went on a long trip. Clearly you’ve been buying into the tabloids exaggerating this all out of proportion, most likely at the behest of the senior Yorks and the Dolittles. One more way Meghan was fed to the wolves.
It was announced 2 days later because of their Australian tour (they left the day after the wedding. And the wedding celebrations lasted 3 days) Damed if they do, damned if they don’t. Harry didn’t get up and make everyone toast to Meghan at the reception. He told William who told him to tell Kate. He told Charles before (since he was in his study) If Will and Kate told others at the reception then that’s on them not Harry and Meghan.
Yup per spare Harry on obviously got up on the table and yelled it through a bull horn. I mean the audacity of screaming it to 100s of guests. Wait he just told his immediate family who he hadn’t seen in a long while ……….sure Jan so very rude
@Tan just wanted to say I always love your comments!
@Nic919 – thank u so much! I luv seeing ur comments too!!
Wear a fuller dress, let every speculate and announce it a couple days later. Whether people figure it out or not, they did the polite thing.
While they were on tour?? This is a family that doesn’t see each other often and what if they don’t return their calls? (which they didn’t do when Harry’s security was removed) they had to tell them there because it had to be announced because Meghan had to pull out of events due to her pregnancy.
And Eugenie’s wedding celebration lasted three days so even if they waited two days it would still be considered rude (according to you) and they were already in Australia.
Actually I think it’s kind of sweet that Harry & Meghan felt comfortable telling people at the wedding. I don’t think they would do anything to try to upstage the bride, if that is even possible since Eugenie was the center of attention. And I assume they felt Eugenie wouldn’t mind. It speaks to how close they are with her.
They didn’t announce their pregnancy during the wedding ceremony. They didn’t announce it to everyone or multiple people there. They didn’t even announce it to the bride and groom or by using a megaphone. The simply told two people privately at a time when hundreds of others were there that they purposely avoided telling. There isn’t anything tacky about people talking about pregnancies, graduations, engagements, weddings, birthdays or any other number of topics that people discuss before, during and after and weddings, funerals, graduations and the like. They were leaving the next day for a ten day South Pacific Tour where they would have to announce her pregnancy because she was already showing. The only reason any of this was even a topic is because one or more from the three who knew leaked the information and made a big deal about it. The most important people, being the bride and groom, were not bothered by this as the congratulatory social media post from them for their pregnancy announcement, the eventual birth of Archie and the subsequent close relationship proves, so why are those not affected by this so bothered by a none issue?
The people who ask straight out in front of people. I wish they wouldn’t. It’s weird when they won’t answer and some older lady is always offended. No, it’s not easy for the person that gets asked are they pregnant and someone is always offended when they refuse to answer. It can cause a spectacle. From what I’ve witnessed there is less drama when you answer and go on rather than offend your old aunt. I’ve seen it happen more than once. If someone asks if you are expecting at my wedding I don’t mind if you answer if you’re comfortable. Don’t mind me. Have I witnessed family members tell others in a group? Yes. Have I seen obvious pregnant people walk in and everyone gasp? Yes. Did Harry privately tell three people around the wedding in person, before it was announced? Yes. Big deal? No. No one would have known if someone (Kate or Camilla) hadn’t told. The Yorks loved the attention, but it was ending soon as they stepped off that plane for the tour. Timing. I think Fergie and Andy were annoyed they wanted to stretch that out for as long as they could. Maybe Eugenie and Beatrice too, but Eugenie and Harry are still close so go be offended for someone else.
Oh were you there when they made the announcement? Please do tell us what was said.
As I recall, they had to tell people at the wedding because they were about to depart for their South pacific tour and Meghan was starting to show. No, it’s not great, but it’s not egregious.
Exactly. This is why they had to tell them then. They delayed leaving for their tour so they could attend the wedding.
Ginger, I guess they weren’t supposed to tell H’s father and brother and let them find out about it when it was announced for the tour, right? Is that what people are suggesting? This is not a family. When you have to make appointments to visit them that isn’t family. I suspect that was the first time that they could tell two people (Fails is the one who insisted they tell Wails).
Are people suggesting that you’re not supposed to talk to anyone at the wedding about something which might be personal? Perhaps this becomes an issue because there is not a list of unacceptable topics to EVER discuss or tell anyone at a wedding. A list would be helpful.
Right? I guess no one should discuss any personal news at a wedding then for fear of “stealing spotlight” – god forbid anyone be happy about anything other than the nuptials. When someone asks you how you are you should respond only “well” and redirect the conversation to the beautiful bride and ceremony.
It’s amazing to me how little they see each other. Weddings and funerals and in front of the cameras. Otherwise, it seems minimal unless the family started avoiding Harry even more once he married Meghan, which is possible.
This is also my takeaway. In any normal family, you’d say hey dad, hey bro and SIL, can you pop by week/day/morning before to our place or we pop by yours, have some news to share don’t want to do it at Eug’s event. To tell them at a wedding event, even discretely, is in any normal situation is rude to bridal couple because you could have easily done it beforehand. That you wanted to tell them in person would not be an excuse because have them over/go see them beforehand (even just meeting somewhere before heading to the event). We know Harry had to be scheduled into a calendar controlled by courtiers to see the Queen, even if he could talk to her on the phone more freely. I have the impression that this is maybe similar for Harry and his dad and maybe even Will (like not being “invited” to visit W&K’s place all that time- so freaking weird to me)? It’s really bizarre to me how formal and distant they are about seeing each other. And in that case, I can see why this would be their only opportunity to tell them in person, even if that doesn’t really fly for any other (not dysfunctional) family.
You have no idea what people are privately discussing at weddings. Have you ever been to a wedding? Everyone is in groups talking. I don’t know what they are talking about and it’s none of my business. It’s not the bride’s either. You certainly don’t have to talk about the bride and groom the whole time. Most people are catching up with what’s been going on in the other’s lives or getting to know new people. Telling people good news in private is bad at Windsor Castle. Huge rooms. You can only tell people non-important news is the dumbest thing ever.
I see absolutely nothing wrong with Harry telling his closest family members just before they headed off on the South Africa engagement. It gave him an opportunity to let them know before they officially announced it at the start of the tour. They wanted to announce it because Meg was showing.
This was purely the press trying to stir shit up as usual.
Another thing I found noteworthy is Eugenie is the only cousin Harry mentions in the book I think? He does not mention Zara or her odious husband, or any of the others. Eug and Jack definitely hold a special place in his heart.
Charles’s told Camilla and she neighed to the press, putting the Eugenie was pissed about it spin on it. Let’s remember this is right when they had the CC & WK sit-down, gossiping expressly about the Sussexes, where, afterwards. Camilla brayed to her Rota friends that Meghan made Kate cry.
They didn’t officially announce it until just before they were starting the tour and so there was nothing the day of the wedding. That said it was pretty clear that she was pregnant when you saw her get out of the car and enter the church so there was talk just because of that.
I don’t understand this stealing the thunder thing. It’s your big day and nobody can change it. An announcement whispered in ears is not equivalent to stealing your nonexistent thunder. Besides Eugenie is pretty tight with them so…
And all of you calling out Meghan are the same ones who are team both women cried.
It’s also shaming a woman for a normal part of life. If a bride is going to be so offended that another woman who is visibly pregnant has told her father in law and brother in law off to the side, there is a way bigger issue there.
And nic from all indications it was not the bride who was offended. let’s be real here. this was Rota spin following camilla spilling the beans to get favorable press.
Oh my gosh, this! Did Harry grab the mic from Jack at the reception and say, “Imma let you say something, but…” Serious, this wasn’t Kanye-disrupting-the-awards-show-level. Harry told his dad and his brother, his only remaining immediate blood family. Meghan was showing and she definitely would be on tour!
Whenever a new story like this emerges a bunch of new names come to give comments full of projection and paragraphs about how “well, you can like them and still admit they’re wrong!!!” while completely ignoring context. It’s textbook at this point, lol.
True true @C
@C the trolls are out big time on this thread.
I have noticed this as well C.
Agreed. The invisibility olympics women have to compete against each other in to prove who’s the best person can get a little ridiculous. Weddings are about family coming together. Nothing outrageous about hearing that another little member of the family is on the way.
I truly wonder if some people have ever attended weddings because it is absurd to say you cannot tell close family members of a pregnancy. You are not simply restricted to gushing about the bride in terms of topics of conversation.
yea except he wrote they saw the fact that all the family was gathered as an opportunity to pull them one by one and tell them they’re pregnant. they saw convenience of a family gathering on someone else’s big day to capitalize on their good news. that’s like proposing at someone else’s wedding bc the family is gathered anyways. also they didnt even wait until the wedding day was drawing to an end…they did it before the bride and groom’s reception. could have at least waited until the reception was over. i just think this was insensitive bc eugenie could have taken it the wrong way. i hope they told her first and got her permission at least.
It is absolutely not the same as proposing. Meghan was pregnant and showing. I knew she was pregnant by looking at her from a far camera angle so saying nothing for some absurd reason even if the bride isn’t around makes no sense. Calling up people days later when something could be said in person would actually be worse.
“they saw convenience of a family gathering on someone else’s big day to capitalize on their good news”
This is nonsensical.
It was announced 2 days later because of their tour. Eugenie’s wedding celebrations lasted 3 days. Are you mad Meghan got pregnant around Eugenie’s wedding?
Nope. You can’t go one by one to your different family members and expect the news not to travel faster than you. You can’t wait until the end of the wedding because people peace out at different times and you might miss them. The best time to announce is when people are all together. They did it discreetly, but honestly even if they said it in a group of people and shared some joyous hugs that wouldn’t be rude either. There is nothing for the bride to take the wrong way, why are people so ridiculous? If you think it’s reasonable for a bride to be jealous of a pregnant family member then I don’t know what to tell you.
Yes, they waited for a family get together because as he also mentioned in his memoir they hadn’t seen each other in a while so this wedding would have been their first and last opportunity before their tour to speak to only two people and tell them privately away from everyone else. You make it sound as if they waited till the entire family was gathered that the table to clink the glass and tell everyone. Notice how they told the few people on Friday and were able to announce to the press who were oblivious on Monday that they were pregnant. If they made this huge announcement during the wedding and were such a distraction from the bride and groom how is it that the talk for those three days (Friday, Saturday and Sunday) were only about the bride and groom and their wedding and not the pregnancy that didn’t become a talking point until they were in Australia and had a private meeting with the media on Monday announcing their pregnancy? Why did the bride who was supposedly overshadowed by a pregnancy announcement one of the first to congratulate them on social media? Obviously the bride and her husband didn’t feel like there were any distractions at their wedding.
Exactly. I once attended a wedding where a couple who’d been trying to conceive for a long time was pregnant, they hadn’t wanted to announce it too early and she was starting to show. Everyone could see that and was overjoyed, and the newlyweds weren’t offended at all. They’re the child’s godparents and he loves to hear them tell him how he was a guest of honor at their wedding.
My cousin told me at my wedding reception that she was pregnant. It was told to me quietly, but if anyone gave it away, it was me, because I was so thrilled and excited for her. It never once occurred to me to think that she’d “stolen my thunder.” Besides, now that I’ve lost her to covid in 2021, this is still one of my enduring, lovely memories of our lives together. If Harry and Meg had stopped the reception, made a huge announcement, then proceeded to hog the limelight, that’s one thing. They did none of that. Besides, if Eugenie was upset, I doubt she and her husband would be as close to Harry and Meg, as they so obviously are.
@Grace, funny you should mention the godparent angle. I have always believed that Euginie & Jack knew about the pregnancy before the wedding. I also believe that their visit to Harry & Meghan’s was because they were there to become godparents to Lili along with Tyler.
harry wrote that they were pulling aside family members one by one to share the news that they were pregnant…that’s so rude at someone else’s wedding. it’s a day to celebrate her joyous wedding…not an opportunity for you guys to tell every family member you were pregnant. jeez. glad eugenie wasn’t angry but this is rude. they left for their south pacific tour on october 16…the wedding was october 12. had four days to call and tell family members. not the time and place even if you’re close to eugenie, you guys didn’t take her into consideration and risked offending her.
Receptions are not quiet, there is dancing and music and socializing. Harry certainly could discreetly talk to people without everybody hearing. Weddings are family get togethers. Nothing wrong with a bride or groom’s relative giving happy news to relatives.
I’m assuming they did not want to tell family over the phone, but face to face. As they only told three people by pulling them aside, it wasn’t as if they announced it to all the guests. She was likely already showing. Some people will still find this rude. Some people will not find it to be a big deal. Either way, what Harry is describing is very different from how the BM made it out to be, that they were just running around and telling everyone that they were pregnant. They were not.
He only told three people, and knowing how difficult it was to contact his family it was probably the only place where he could do it. Majority of the guests certainly didn’t know, and there would have been rumors anyway as Meghan was starting to show. Had she stayed at home there would have been even more rumors.
Yus yus and u still believe Meghan made Kate cry over tights or some bull crap
He told Charles beforehand, William and WILLIAM told him to tell Kate. Do you have any issues with William telling Harry to tell Kate? It’s clear they didn’t want to.
The wedding was Friday, they left for Australia the next day, and announced it when they arrived on the 15th.
The actual wedding ceremony was Friday. Believe that’s the only day H&M attended. The wedding celebration however was a three day event, Friday/Saturday/Sunday. They left for Australia on Monday.
hangonamin, you’ve said this already in this post. You’re really working hard to make this a rude thing to do. Here’s what I said before:
I guess they weren’t supposed to tell H’s father and brother and let them find out about it when it was announced for the tour, right? Is that what people are suggesting? This is not a family. When you have to make appointments to visit them that isn’t family. I suspect that was the first time that they could tell two people (Fails is the one who insisted they tell Wails).
Are people suggesting that you’re not supposed to talk to anyone at the wedding about something which might be personal? Perhaps this becomes an issue because there is not a list of unacceptable topics to EVER discuss or tell anyone at a wedding. A list would be helpful.
Thank you @Saucy&Sassy!
This pushing of britshidtmedia narrative by this poster is hilarious. I wonder if she believes this is a good place to “change” some folks minds about H&M. Does the poor benighted critter not know that after Spare, theres been a wave of NEW H&M admirers, even folks who are NOT interested in those people in britain who cosplay their centuries-dead ancestors.
It sounds like you were never at a wedding in your whole life. People have private conversation at social gatherings all the time. It is called conversation. You can do it in small groups and bigger groups. It is something humans do. And then there are speeches. If somebody makes a speech at an event for some special occasion about something else it is considered a bad speech. That did not happen. I hope when you grow up (I assume you are a teenager who was never at a wedding) you will probably learn all these normal human society things.
Ad hominem attacks are petty and unbecoming.
Nah, when being purposefully obtuse at what really happens at a wedding then stupidity needs to be called out.
People can talk about whatever the fuck they want with other people at a wedding. If they are not grabbing the microphone and making an announcement for the room, it is god damn ridiculous to police the subject matter of the discussions.
Besides, Harry told Charles in his study and the wedding was not held in the damn study. So I don’t even know why people are ignoring that really important fact. Harry never told Charles, William or Kate about the pregnancy at the wedding. It was done prior to the wedding. And so it wasn’t even on the actual day.
It’s true, and if it was Kate who told people she was pregnant at H&M’s wedding, the commenters here would be ripping her a new asshole. Harry and Megan were wrong to do this in my opinion. It’s not your event. Just because we’re all fans of them and think they’ve been abused and persecuted doesn’t mean they’re perfect and can’t be fairly criticized.
First Eugenie never held her wedding in Charles’s study. And second, if kate told a few people privately then it would be the same thing. Also kate never went on tour while in the early stages of pregnancy or do any engagements so she had plenty of time to tell people.
But then again Kate thought it was ok for her to control the bridesmaids dresses so it’s not like she ever cared that it wasn’t her wedding day.
No we insult Kate for copying Meghan’s fashions, bringing nothing to a food bank, being a mush mouth, spending millions of taxpayers money on clothes, being a bully to Meghan and other woman, using the death of a victim of police sexual assault for her own gain, her flashing her bum, her wiglets after making a point to the press she does not wear wiglets or get Botox, being lazy etc etc
If she announced a pregnancy at a wedding most of the commenters would either be congratulatory or neutral – u on the other hand would say this is the new etiquette of all wedding rules.
@hangonamin, Harry didn’t write ‘they were pulling aside family members one by one’. You wrote that. Go back and read the excerpt. Harry did say they pulled Willy aside. That’s it. One person. Are you willfully ignoring the part where they told Charles in his study where he was sitting behind his desk? Rhetorical question.
They left for the tour on the evening of the 13th. The first day of their engagements for the tour was the 16th.
https://tinyurl.com/44xn4fk3
Kensington Palace released the statement to the public on the 15th.
I feel as if in this case the timing was against them because wasn’t it literally the next day that they had to go on their tour to Aus/NZ/Fiji/Tonga(?) and Meghan was starting to show. If they had revealed it earlier, everyone would scream and pull their hair out about “how dare Meghan steal the limelight from Eugenie” only for them to end up screaming that anyways.
The fact that Eugenie has been publicly seen hanging out with Harry and Meghan since proved that she’s not petty. But I feel like Beatrice is, because of you remember Beatrice chose to announce her pregnancy on M&H’s wedding anniversary which I’m sorry but I found a bit sus. If you’re sister had no issues why do you?
SPARE page 348
“Various gatherings connected to the wedding” is NOT at the wedding. Let the man speak for himself, even when it disrupts your narrative.
That was the impression I got when I read it too. It was at a drinks reception for the bride and groom. It sounds like one of those pre-wedding events.
That’s how I read it too. He told Charles and W and K at something prior to the wedding and not at the reception.
Even Mike Tindall, who is not a Sussex squaddie had said that family members knew prior to the wedding.
Let’s not forget there were multiple events for Eugenie’s wedding and they lasted over the weekend.
That’s right, Eugenie’s wedding was a whole weekend of events, Friday to Sunday. And, IIRC, didn’t the Sussexes leave for Australia on that Monday, and that was when Meghan’s pregnancy was announced to the public? In the white dress she wore when they met with the Governor General of Australia, she was already showing enough to raise questions. She would have been only just about 3 months at the time of the wedding. And with the tour, and several accommodations to be made because of her pregnancy, no time to do it after the wedding.
I suspected at the time Andy and Fergie were hoping for more publicity mileage from the wedding in the following week, and they’re the ones who were most pissed off – they had started to release BTS pictures of the flowers, etc. on Monday. No one was interested once Meghan’s pregnancy was announced, though the Oceana tour would likely have overshadowed any further news about the wedding details in any case.
same page of the book: “at windsor, just before the drinks reception…” and “after the drinks reception, in St. George’s Hall…”
these are all venues during the wedding day. St. George’s chapel was where they had their ceremony, they went back to windsor castle after their carriage ride with a luncheon hosted by the queen in the castle in the waterloo chamber, the grand reception room, and st. george’s hall.
Why is it so hard to believe that Eugenie and Jack had a rehearsal dinner or pre-wedding party at the same venue as their wedding? That’s completely normal. Average people might only have one drinks reception associated with their wedding, I feel fairly confident in saying that royals probably have several. Hell, I’m far from royal and my wedding venue served champagne at/after the rehearsal itself, before my actual rehearsal dinner and drinks reception later that night, all of which were prior to my actual wedding.
And once again, why is Charles in his study if it’s the actual wedding? It makes much more sense if Charles was late to (or ducked out early from) a pre-wedding event that he didn’t deem as important enough to grace with his presence. Eugenie had an entire weekend of events, and there may have been other family-only celebrations that were kept private.
Thank you! Words mean things, Harry’s gone through all this effort to tell us his story in his own words and (even well-meaning!) people are still ignoring what he’s actually said. As MrsBanjo says below, they approached Charles in his study – the happy couple did not perch on Charles’ desk to say their vows so it’s safe to say when Harry specifically denoted “gatherings connected to the wedding” he meant other family events, not the wedding itself.
Also, it’s not like this happened in a vacuum. This was in the midst of an extremely fraught time between the Sussexes and the rest of the family. It’s quite possible that Harry and Meghan were being frozen out and couldn’t meet with Will or Charles on their own because Will and/or Charles were ignoring them. It’s also quite possible that Harry wanted to avoid an isolated meeting with his father and brother for fear it would devolve into another shouting match or violent episode. Approaching them at an event with other people would have been much safer, like breaking up with someone in a public place instead of alone at you apartment.
I understand you’re team Harry and Meghan all the way but you can never admit when they’re in the wrong. I don’t think someone else’s wedding is the place to bring up your pregnancy. Let the bride and groom have their moment. They could have told their family the next day. It’s frustrating reading this site that has become completely royal focused and completely biased. I don’t care for any of the royals but every article is the same and every opinion you have is burn William and praise Harry.
Meghan was showing.
What was the right way to do it? How could they avoid telling? Not coming to the wedding at all? I am really curious what the right thing to do would be.
This is not about Harry or Meghan. I have been to weddings where during the reception a family member confirms they are pregnant (which you could notice anyway). It doesn’t take away from the bride if some of the hundreds of people are having discussions with each other about different life events. Normal people tend to want to share in other people’s joy.
And there was no announcement anyway. Pulling people off to the side at events prior to the wedding isn’t the same as taking the mike from the MC and blasting the news.
It wasn’t at the wedding if you actually look at the text. It was during a pre-wedding event and in Charles’ study. Eugenie wasn’t saying her vows or having her first married dance in Charles’ study.
Weddings and receptions have many people attending. Harry could manage to talk to close relatives without the room finding out.
I mean did the Bride and Groom still not have their day because Harry told his father, brother, and sister-in-law in private? I guess because I’m not one of those it’s my wedding, birthday, whatever date so everything has to be about me people. If the first thing they said when everyone approached them was, hey by the way did you hear Meg is pregnant I may see it differently. This isn’t a normal family, they clearly don’t see each other often and they literally have sued people for hacking their phones. I don’t blame them for waiting to tell 3 people in person.
Well, Britt.
You raise a VERY good point about William.
And the next time he does something, you know, worthy of praise, you be sure to let us know.
Yeah, dont forget now, Britt.
heeheeheeheeheheeesfmkwdnfodhjfwkrkl[mvnkfgjkkwefkwwkew
🤭
In all honesty, if Kate had pulled aside Charles Harry and Meghan and told them that she was pregnant at Harry and Meghan’s wedding, what would be the reaction? I think Harry and Meghan would be thrilled and not upset it was shared at their wedding. Regardless of the actors in this situation, I just don’t find this to be a big deal and didn’t realize it was such a wedding etiquette taboo. Sure, if someone was going around to absolutely everyone and only talking about their pregnancy throughout the entire wedding wknd, that would be annoying AF. That would be a def etiquette no no. But that’s not what happened here. There are things I find to be way worse as far as wedding etiquette goes, like wearing a dress that reads as white in photographs at your sil’s wedding. That’s kinda rude. This just isn’t. It’s life. She’s pregnant, clearly showing, and it’s a family event, the first time people are seeing each other in a while. They pulled aside 3 people and told them privately.
so true. no one is perfect. can we just say this was poor timing on their part and insensitive without everyone sharpening pitchforks for any criticism of harry and meghan. could have waited until after the reception at least. but saying they saw it as an opportunity with family members gathered to pull them aside one by one…insensitive. sure, some brides might be ok with it, but that’s not considering if they’re not.
I still don’t think it a big deal. If Harry and Meghan had waited they would still be criticized no matter what. Every day especially in the DM there would be an article slamming Meghan and Harry for something.
I don’t see the difference in telling someone in private off site beforehand, and telling them after the reception? So, Harry says he told those three in private, presumably not shouting it down a hallway, how does them having knowledge that Meghan was pregnant before the wedding take away from Eugenie’s day? This is what I’m not getting from these arguments it’s like people expect people not to discuss anything in their lives with other people while another event is going on? If your sibling told you only in private they got a new job at your cousins wedding, would you chastise them for making the day about them?
Look, I do not think the sun is shining out of their asses, but she was showing. They were making “an announcement,” if you will, by being present at the wedding, because everyone who looked at Meghan saw it anyway, whether they told the news or not.
IT WASN’T AT THE WEDDING!! IT WASN’T AN ANNOUNCEMENT!! They told Charles in his study, before some drinks reception, and William in some big suit of armor hall after that drinks reception, Kate in the same place.
The bride and groom WERE having their moment. There was no real reason for Eugenie’s wedding to be this public spectacle frankly. Harry and William had their weddings this way because they were the sons of the heir to the throne. It’s not like telling the immediate family meant that all the crowds outside knew what was happening.
It’s was going to be announced right after the wedding anyway because of their tour. That is why they told Charles and William. And William told them to tell Kate. It’s because of their tour. If they didn’t have a tour they probably would have waited longer to announce. Plus, it’s not Harry and Meghan’s fault that Eugenie had a 3 day wedding celebration.
There was no “next day” after the wedding the way you seem to think. Remember, Eugenie’s wedding was a three day event. Pretty sure Meghan and Harry were only around on Friday. The final day of celebrations was Sunday. The “next day” the Sussexes were on a plane to Australia, at which point they needed to announce it to the public.
Exactly. H&M didn’t want to announce before Eugenie’s wedding. Yet they knew the spotlight would be on them the moment they touched down in Australia, and they wanted H’s father and brother to know before the general public. If H&M hadn’t made the announcement the day they landed, the entire focus of the tour would have been “Is she or isn’t she?” instead of on the places and causes they were highlighting during those 2 weeks. That is the fact of the sheer timing of the pregnancy.
Britt, I suggest you don’t read the royal posts here. There are other posts for you to read.
I feel the fake outrage by you and hangonamin may say more about the relationships in your family then it does about the royal family. You have to make an appointment to see anyone in the royal family. I suspect you think they should have left a message for H’s father and brother? Would that have made you happier?
I don’t get why people are so invested in someone elses wedding. I’m sure that members of your family would know to keep quiet about a pregnancy at your wedding and would let you know by message or when the press publishes at the beginning of the tour. That’s your choice for your wedding. I think you need to realize that families all work differently.
THis is so beyond wild that THIS particular thing is viewed a wrong. He told his father, brother, and sister-in-law. He told them in low-key, off to the side. It’s actually BIZARRE that people are offended ON EUGENIE’S behalf over something she’s NEVER said bothered her. It’s beyond strange (just like the lie that Harry and Meghan supposedly “stole” Eugenie’s wedding date, as if Jack didn’t propose until January of 2018.
It breaks my heart to think that this joyful, happy development, that she was pregnant, is being scrutinized and twisted so closely, even in retrospect of what we now know they went through at the time. We should not forget that the abuse got so bad that she was suicidal a few months later.
@Britt — it wasn’t at the wedding. Period. Harry shared the news with his dad, his brother and Kate BEFORE THE WEDDING. Privately. Understand?
@Britt, if you don’t care for any of the royals, why mention anything about opinions being about ‘burn William’ and ‘praise Harry’?
“Let the bride and groom have their moment”. The wedding ceremony itself is the BIG moment for the bride and groom. I’ve yet to read a reasonable explanation how H&M telling Harry’s father and brother privately was wrong.
The BIG QUESTION survey should be: Why did the British Media put out headline after headline that MEGHAN announced her pregnancy at the reception when that didn’t happen. Meghan didn’t make an announcement. The BM lied along with the planter of that story.
Is the emerald tiara that Eug is wearing the one that the papers made a stink about Megan wanting to wear (and being refused)?
I don’t like it as much as the one she actually wore.
It looks good on Eugenie.
I don’t want to thread jack but I really, really want to know….tiara experts, is this really the tiara that Meghan supposedly “had to have” and was so very jealous that Eugenie got to wear it? Because I may be tasteless but I really hate how the emeralds are integrated into this one. Maybe I’m just a modernist but Meghan’s Art Deco tiara seems such a more beautiful design.
Harry isn’t clear in the book but he did say one of the five options had emeralds. And now that we know that the veil was designed for the Spencer tiara, it is even less likely that she would have picked one with emeralds because the one she did pick is closer in style to the Spencer tiara.
Eugenie’s tiara? I highly doubt it. Nobody was even sure it was still in the royal vaults till Eugenie’s wedding. So there was no real way for Meghan to know it existed, unless it was offered, and it is clear it wasn’t.
There was probably a lesser one from the vaults that had emeralds and that is the one Harry referred to. The Queen Mary Bandeau she chose is among my top tiaras though, and it suited her perfectly.
Ok that makes sense that they were talking about a lesser emerald one. Obvs I know it’s bullsh*t that she was demanding whichever, but for me it strains credibility when people try to suggest, and they have, that this was the one she wanted. Love Eug but I just hate this tiara.
Ps @ Susan we made the same comment at the same time…great minds and all that
They couldn’t get their stories straight, first they said it was because the emeralds had Russian provenance which would point to the Vladimir Tiara but that would never be offered anyway because the Queen regularly wore it (and even if not, why would they offer a tiara that Meghan couldn’t wear in the first place? they wouldn’t obviously), then they tried to pivot to the Greville emerald one which like I said wasn’t seen before Eugenie’s wedding so there’s no real way Meghan would know of it to demand it instead of Eugenie. I do love the Greville one, though, it’s funny that you hate it, lol, but I dislike most of the ones the royal women prefer!
Yeah no disrespect, I am a total tiara neophyte ( and as former architectural designer have my very personal biases towards a certain, more structured look). Thanks for the info, the tiara stuff is a real (interesting) rabbit hole!
So I really like eugenie’s tiara and thought she looked stunning in it and her overall wedding look was so good. But either way, looking back, it seems like there was a real effort to sow division between the Sussexes and their closest friends in the family, Eugenie and Jack. The whole Meghan ruined eugenie’s wedding bc she was pregnant and Meghan was angry bc she didn’t get eugenie’s emerald tiara was not a coincidence. In hindsight, these stories were v calculated and an attempt to isolate Meghan and Harry even further from allies within the family. Obv, if these stories ever did cause any tension, it didn’t overall work, bc the couples are still close. Also loved Meghan’s Art Deco tiara. Eugenie’s to me seemed a little similar bc it didn’t sort of have waves or curves or spiky bits at the top. I’m also a neophyte about tiaras so am probably not making sense in finding them somewhat similar.
@Jais actually you make a really good point (about the shape). Maybe, with a different colour stone, I would like it a lot better.
Interestingly enough the Greville emerald tiara looks a LOT like Queen Mary’s Russian Bandeau, but that one is sapphire, so maybe you’d find that one prettier, Nick G!
Eugenie’s is more of a kokoshnik style, rather than the bandeau Meghan chose. They’re a bit similar in shape but the Greville is more prominent on the head. I really love it and think it’s beautiful. I hate a lot of British tiaras, like the Burmese Ruby or Brazilian Aquamarine. But I loved Meghan’s and Eugenie’s wedding tiaras. They both suited each bride perfectly.
@C you’re right I like it better, it’s something about the shape of the coloured stone relative to the other lines, and I think the size relations etc. Really interesting, thank you.
I think I want a tiara now. But where to wear it???
I don’t understand caring. Can’t two happy things happen in one day? If my cousin had told me she was pregnant at my wedding I would have been thrilled for her. It in no way detracts from the fact that I got married. The whole “it’s MY day to be the CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE” thing is beyond bizarre. Also. Brides are super busy at a wedding. The odds she even noticed two people being pulled aside at one of her many wedding functions – beyond small. It’s not like Harry stepped in during the vows, took the mic from the officiant and announced it, did a Beyoncé mic drop and Meg showed her belly thrn dropped into a curtesy. WTAF people. No one cared. That’s the message. It was fine until the tabloids flipped out. Fed by the meeting of cc and wk.
Exactly! I just posted pretty much the same below. A wedding where the relatives are present is a joyful family event. Knowing a new baby is coming would just add to the joy for me.
Your comment would be great if true but a lot of people do have that mentality when they are getting married and they don’t realize how ridiculous it is until after they are married. So having been through it myself I am super empathetic to brides. My husbands brother got engaged 3 months before my husbands and I’s wedding and told my husband that he was getting engaged at my husbands bachelor trip. I was so angry his brother couldn’t just let him have one trip celebrating himself and I was so upset they got engaged during our engagement. I was also a new 25 and young and silly. Now I look back and I’m like who the f cares. But at the time my bridal brain was not the most rational. I gives brides a very big pass now having been though it myself. But there are some instances where you will upset a bride and there’s nothing you can do about it but have a little empathy and still carry on your way.
Absolutely nobody gave Meghan any empathy as a bride. Strange to me how nobody observes that while getting offended on Eugenie’s behalf (speaking generally, not specifically you).
And none of these people are silly 25 year olds. Everyone was in their thirties and up. It’s weird you would expect a visibly pregnant couple to …what? Sit around while people speculate?
Speak for yourself others are different. My sister was in her early 20’s just out of college and was happy when her friends got engaged, because she could tell some of them were jealous and had been dating since high school like her. They had a large dinner party with friends. Three engaged girls. No drama. It was great. Some people are relaxed and far from bridezillas. Maybe his brother wanted to have a nice bonding moment. It sounded nice to me. I think seeing my sister who was engaged first so happy for the others made it hard for the second one to feel slighted when the third one announced.
I really like them but they could have found another opportunity to share their news, not in the midst of someone else’s wedding festivities.
If Will & Kate did this you’d be shredding them.
If Kate and Will had made an announcement on the stage for all to hear, the press would have let them be and praise Kate and William for sharing the wonderful news and it made the bride and groom so thrilled to hear the announcement.. It’s all about criticizing Meghan and Harry by the media and their detractors. If Meghan and Harry had not told their close relatives at the wedding they would still be complained about.
Eh, just said above, if Kate pulled aside Charles Harry and Meghan and told them she was expecting at their wedding, I still don’t think it would be a big deal. It seems pretty clear, there’s a divide in what’s okay at a wedding. I think this is fine. Other don’t. If someone went around and told every single person they’re pregnant and that’s all they talked about at a wedding, then yeah that’s problematic. But this is not that.
Three people were told privately BEFORE the wedding, not DURING the wedding festivities. You’re conflating this with Harry running around telling everyone at the actual wedding and reception. You are wrong.
I really am curious about one thing – if the people here who are saying this was bad, would agree if someone told them they needed to ask their cousin’s permission to privately inform their own father of their wife’s pregnancy in a one-on-one in said father’s study.
My guess is most people here would tell the person who suggested it to take a hike. But since it’s Harry and Meghan, it’s another “understandable action but still a mistake”. Or worse.
THIS ☝️
I don’t see anything wrong with quietly informing a few family members during the event. That’s not “upstaging” the couple. It’s possible that they suspected it and Harry and Meghan just confirmed it? Meghan is tiny, so even a slight bump would be noticeable. The family knew they wanted kids (or at least they knew Harry did). And Meg was in her late thirties, so it’s not like they were going to wait a long time to start trying.
It probably just seemed like the right time and place to tell them, with everyone together. Why not? So long as you don’t make a big show and announcement about it, which it doesn’t seem like they did.
People at a wedding can walk and chew gum at the same time. They can offer a “congrats” for the happy news of one couple and still be focused on celebrating the bride and groom. Weddings are about the couple getting married, but they often serve as family reunions as well. The happy news of another addition to the extended family just adds to the joy, IMO.
People are making it out to be Meghan walking down the aisle behind Eugenie and showing her belly. They told 3 people (his immediate family) because they clearly don’t get together that much at all (except for when W&K demand Easter presents)
There was speculation that Eugenie was pregnant earlier this year, she wore an ensemble that looked large for her. Theoretically she could have told the family at “Kate’s concert” or the walkabout some weeks before the official announcement.. Even if she did let it be known ahead of time to family the media would have let her be and not claim it was “rude” and she took attention from Kate. So I don’t get the big deal about Meghan “showing” at the wedding.
I suspect she did tell them at the concert (not her sister but the cousins) but the difference is no one called up the media to make a story of it.
I like them so much too. But when I was 12 weeks pregnant at the age of 25 and recently moved across the country from all of my friends, I came back to my hometown for a wedding and had some really close friends at the wedding. And even though I never got to see them in person much I purposely kept the news to myself. It would have been great telling them in person and celebrating but the day was not about me. It was not about my news. And the bride was the chillest bride ever and might not have even cared but I didn’t want to chance bringing her day down in any way.
Looking back, do you still feel like you had to keep it to yourself? Would it have really brought her day down to know her friend was expecting a baby? I could see that being the case if she was having problems conceiving, or had lost a baby, but otherwise I guess I don’t see how this news would somehow make her wedding less joyful.
I’m with you, AnneL. If I was at an event with friends, as long as it’s not an announcement from the d booth, I don’t see why this would matter?
Looking back I encountered other friends who just were not their most rational selves, like most of us, during their engagements/wedding season. I don’t know that I would do it differently. But I suffer from anxiety and am very much a people pleaser so take my opinion with a grain of salt. I still got to tell a lot of my family in person. And my friends at the wedding saw me drinking sprite so they were not shocked when I did tell them! Reading this I think Meghan and harry were just really excited and probably bursting with the news? But I personally wanted to share my news in a more private setting where we could really chat and talk about everything and a wedding was just not the ideal place for that. I ended up calling my friends one on one and chatting after the wedding and it was still nice. I’m also from the south so that might be another influence – people thinking it’s tacky and whatnot haha. I really really don’t blame harry and Meghan I just went through something similar and wanted to share my thoughts. I was also young and terrified of what people thought of me. M and H are neither 😆
How would that bring her day down? This is a ridiculous amount of drama over a woman having a baby. They told 3 people privately, there was no announcement. If a pregnant woman ruins a wedding then people have their priorities wrong.
Weddings themselves are a ridiculous amount of drama. See the bridesmaid dresses, place settings, etc. People are sensitive and on-edge and my personality is to avoid the drama at all costs haha! But seriously I don’t blame them for their decision just personally made a different decision myself 🤷🏻♀️ I like reading everyone’s different opinions and others perspectives. Thank goodness we don’t all think the exact same way, right!?
Don’t cha know telling 3 ppl is fhe equivalent of telling an army of ppl. Like when you’re at a concert and tell ur friends ur pregnant then you’ve stolen the thunder away from the singer. Hand on my heart that’s the truth
Dead @Tan. lol Only in this case, it was just Meghan stealing the imaginary thunder. It’s not like Harry hasn’t been hoping for this day since forever!
Jack & Eugenie knew about their relationship before the others. pg. 288 of Spare
Eugenie & Jack knowing about the pregnancy before others isn’t a stretch.
Once again, it wasn’t AT the wedding that they told ONLY Charles and William, who then asked Harry to tell Kate. It was at a get-together just BEFORE the wedding. Let’s not spin this as Harry going up to the microphone and yelling “Hey guess what everyone? Meghan’s up the stump!!”
Why would your “friend” who you don’t see on a regular basis be “brought down” by you telling her about your pregnancy? Is this a white woman thing??? Because I’m Black and weddings are ultimately FAMILY occasions. FAMILY. So, seeing and catching up with family is what we do. People talk about marriages, engagements, new babies, everything.
It’s a people looking for an excuse to criticize Meghan thing. My whiter than white family has had cousins say they were pregnant during the reception part of the wedding when hundreds of people are talking all at once and no one has ever cared.
It might be a white woman thing! I was just raised being told the wedding day was always about the bride. To celebrate them and to make their day completely about them. Again just how I was raised 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t plan on teaching my daughter the same way but yea I was raised in a way where there was no chance in hell I would announce I was pregnant at a friends wedding. It probably does seem so silly to someone who wasn’t raised and told the same thing and I’m sorry it sounds ridiculous to you, it’s just what I was taught.
No, no, no @Bex, it’s not a white woman thing-at least from the ones I know. Which, are a lot. I’m a white woman from a very large family. Sibling, cousins and people I don’t know I’m related to because it’s so big.lol not even kidding. This sh*t never came up. Weddings & funerals is where you learned about what’s going on in the family. My sister/MoH got engaged on our wedding day. Her then boyfriend/now husband asked us if it was okay. We were like “Yes, we’ll remember & celebrate this forever.”. Which we have. Good times.
Two years ago, at a nieces wedding, the niece/bride made a speech. We’re all expecting her to discuss/express her love for her new husband. Nope. She ended up having the majority of the females holding black mascara stained napkins. Her speech was(paraphrasing a bit), thank you for being here, it’s been a great day for_______ & me. What’s made this day even more special is that I learned 2 days ago that I’ll become an aunt in 6 months. I’ve been waiting for this for them and me. Servers will be coming to your table with a shot to toast my sister and her husband. Thank you. laughter, tears and joy all around.
For heaven’s sake, it doesn’t matter what opinions people have about what they would or wouldn’t do in a similar situation and what considerations they personally would have about the possible feelings of close friends or family who were getting married, etc. etc.
Remember the comments Harry’s made about the confusion between his family, and the institution? This wasn’t just about telling Harry’s father and brother – they were telling the two immediate heirs to the British throne, who needed to be informed before the imminent global announcement planned immediately after the wedding. Again, these two (plus Kate) were the only ones told, not the entire family, and they weren’t told at the wedding, it was done shortly before, privately. There may not have been an earlier opportunity to talk to Charles and Will, for at least two reasons: 1) the Sussexes may have been waiting until Meghan was safely past the first trimester (it appears that would have been right around the wedding); and/or 2) they had trouble making arrangements via the courtiers to get some time with Charles and Will. This isn’t a family like yours or mine or your cousin or your neighbor. It’s part of a larger entity with completely different things to take into account.
That’s nice, but you don’t have any idea what private conversations were had at that wedding or any other. If they didn’t say it was around the wedding we wouldn’t have known. Mike Tindall still said it was discussed before the wedding. Before, but people seem to only hear what they want or read what they want. I don’t think Harry and Meghan are that old and do think they care what people think of them. Terrified? I’m sure they’ve had more terrifying moments than you, but they continued on and worked on their books, podcasts, documentaries, and life.
Harry DID admit he had to find the Queen so he could speak to her alone, so he could get her permission to marry Meghan. Maybe it was difficult to get his relatives together to make the announcement about the new baby.
Harry and Meghan literally told three people not at the wedding but a event for the wedding . People want to make a big deal about this it says more about you than Meghan and Harry this a family who don’t see each other unless it’s event or wedding where sons have to make appointments in advance to speak to their parents. Only three people were told Harry pulled them a side . How fragile are some of your egos that someone else having good news on your wedding day would send into a tailspin you literally acting like a bunch of Karen’s .
Yeah I like to hear diverging viewpoints because it can become like an echo chamber, but I’m just not seeing it here. It sounds a lot like no one but me is allowed to be happy on certain days. People share news like this at weddings all the time, and it sounds like it wasn’t a case of Harry taking his opportunity to give a speech to talk about his wife beign pregnant, but literally telling his father and brother privately. I don’t get it.
Co-sign. I’m trying to be considerate of wedding etiquette that I just don’t hold to be that serious. But this still is just not that.
That’s right, this is no big deal because (deep breath) IT WASN’T AT THE FREAKING WEDDING!
Pardon my shouting, but I was about to blow a gasket.
Lot of Kate supporters in these here article
Agreed. Betcha every last one of them supported KKKhate’s pale yellow/white dress at Meghan’s wedding.
The common denominator is dislike/hatred of Meghan.
I still think they hate Meghan more than they like Kate.
I would think that they were close enough to Eugenie and Jack that they would have told them earlier than the rest of the family. Harry and Meghan knew who the leakers were in that family, and waited to tell them at the last possible moment. Meghan was clearly pregnant at the wedding.
They should have waited. Meghan was only 2 months pregnant and there was no way she was showing but she chose a coat that emphasized her belly. And of course the press ate it up. This was Eugenie’s big day that she’d delayed because of H and M’s wedding. I can’t give them a pass on this one. It was selfish. BTW a 2 month old fetus is only about 1 inch long. I’ve been pregnant 3 times and not once was I in maternity clothes until at least the end of the third month. I think they were both a bit full of themselves during this time.
Everyone is different. Just because you were not showing doesn’t mean Meghan couldn’t have been. If you have a very small frame, even a tiny bump or a fuller face or chest can make you look pregnant.
As for the choice of date, I get the sense that neither Harry nor Eugenie had full say on their respective wedding dates. The Firm and the family get involved and dictate the schedule to a large degree. Harry and Eugenie are obviously still close, so the pregnancy “announcement” can’t have bent her out of shape that much.
And maybe they were a little full of themselves. They were thrilled and eager to share the news, so they told a few close family members. In hindsight, maybe it wasn’t a good idea, but they didn’t mean any harm.
H&M likely didn’t have a say in when the public announcement of her pregnancy would be put out by BP either. They were actually being kind to Chuck and Will and telling them before they just found out from a public announcement. Considering how PH was treated when TQ died, they shouldn’t have been that considerate but maybe he actually thought his family would be happy for him.
Full of themselves? Maybe they were just happy. I don’t know what they’re supposed to do about people who criticize private conversations that were shared by other people. You don’t seem to realize what private is and if they had shared it sooner they could have told more people and the press would have known. Many were already speculating, because she was showing.
Whoa. Okay so now she purposely chose a coat to emphasize her belly? That’s where we’re going with this? Nope.
Imagine thinking a coat can somehow emphasize your belly lmaoooo! What a selling point!
Some of these comments are such an extreme version of rubber necking they should be on a competitive show. Meghan wore a coat loosely. If she wanted to emphasize anything, she would have worn it buttoned down all the way. She did not.
Maybe the coat was comfortable for Meghan. That’s why she chose it. I don’t see how it is “selfish”. She did not squeeze into a tight outfit for one thing.. Eugenie and Jack if they really did not want to wait for their wedding, could have tried for an earlier time. And most likely would have gotten it. Why would they be unhappy with the date. They had a beautiful wedding and reception. And having the weddings close together may not have been the best idea. Harry also was then son of the future King and the ‘protocol” played a part. I doubt Harry ran to the Queen and demanded they get married first. Eugenie did not have the issues with Kate that Meghan had, like the big fuss over nothing over the bridesmaid outfits. And Harry and Meghan graciously invited Fergie to their wedding when William did not.
Oh puhleeze…..and how do you know she was only 2 months’ pregnant? Most women wait until the 1st trimester is done before going public. And you do realize it’s how a woman’s body reacts to the changes in hormones that can cause weight gain and puffiness, not just a small fetus.
Furthermore, if people suspected she was pregnant, the gossips would have had a field day complaining about Meghan not telling anyone.
Your argument simply doesn’t hold up.
Well since you have been pregnant 3 times, then I assume you would know that no two pregnancies are the same , just because you weren’t showing early on, doesn’t mean that Meghan wasn’t. This is a family that Harry has said repeatedly needs to book in appointments to see each other for the most casual things that normal families don’t. Like to see his own grandmother and father he needs appointments. So I can totally see why they would have taken the opportunity at the wedding to tell Charles and William quietly as Harry said he did . Which I see you are choosing to ignore that part but whatever. People who want to condemn you will find any reason to do it to justify their actions. Second, if he didn’t tell them there quietly I repeat again , then when exactly would it have been done since they left the next day for Their tour . If they didn’t and had broken the news on Instagram, then we would have been hearing stories for years to come about how that blindsided Charles and William and did not tell them they were pregnant. So Harry and Meghan couldn’t win either way. And again, you and no one else can tell anyone who is pregnant, when they get to decide when they announce it since it’s Their child and their body. And if it’s selfish to quietly tell your father and brother at a family gathering your good news, then you got bigger issues bothering you than their announcement to two people.
She was probably about three months pregnant. Archie was born the first week in May, and we know Meghan was at least a week (possibly two?) overdue. You can calculate from there. So if you were sometimes in maternity clothes by the end of the third month, well, there you go. And you may have a different body type; given Meghan’s build, she might have been more likely to show, earlier.
And she was definitely showing. It was obvious when they landed in Australia and did the first event with the GG. Take a look at her in the white dress. Also, they had made at least one change to the schedule because of her condition – she wan’t traveling with Harry to locations where zika was prevalent. They had to announce she was pregnant at the beginning of the trip (which meant TQ/ Charles/ William would have to be informed previously) or there would have been constant is she/isn’t she speculation that distracted even more from the overall purpose of their visit. And this way, there was an explanation if she needed extra time to rest during the trip. They had an extremely full schedule planned.
I won’t repeat the rest of what other commenters above me have already mentioned.
Hiiiiiii Linder big fan of the Kate!!! What we ain’t gonna say how perfect Kate has been at Eugnenia’s wedding. U always give Kate the big praises in ur comment – don’t hold back here
If I recall Kate wore fuschia when everyone else was wearing greens and blues and she almost flashed the crowd too. So of course we are going to pretend that that was acceptable and not telling your father about his new grandchild in his study prior to the wedding.
Nonsense.
This is so funny because for once instead of a horrible institution literally trying to destroy a young family and drive one person to self harm…I can see a glimpse of a normal family where a bunch of well-meaning people get fussy…a normally chill person is a bit of a mess on her wedding day, a normally thoughtful couple tells 3 people a secret and has no idea it will turn into a gossip story (mind you they didn’t know their family had the tabs on speed-dial yet). It is almost quaint as it it kind of a normal family squabble. I’m so glad my family squabbles don’t drive press stories and fund shady gossip rags….
This comment is so true and on point. Honestly everyone has their own perspectives. I don’t think H and M are terrible for sharing their news when they did but I also would not have made that decision myself. No one deserves to be attacked for how they perceive things. H and M don’t deserve to be attacked. And if their cousin was upset for them sharing she doesn’t need to be attacked either. That’s just her feelings on the matter!
And we honestly have no real evidence that Eugenie was upset. We have whoever leaked and planted this and then the tabs writing that Eugenie was upset. This was during the start of the smear campaign, and it was also planted that Meghan made Kate cry, which was a lie. Possibly Eugenie was upset? Or, like those other stories, it’s a lie and she was totally fine with it. The tabs telling us that she was upset is just evidence of absolutely nothing. Evidence we do have is that Eugenie supports both Meghan and Harry by:
-Publicly supporting Meghan’s 40×40 bday initiative
-visiting them in montecito
-going out to dinner with them
Could Eugenie have been upset? Sure? But since it’s coming from the tabloids, I’m not sure I believe she ever was.
Agree Jais. The tabs aren’t exactly trustworthy narrators!
I don’t understand why this story still has traction. Eugenie’s on her 2nd pregnancy but this is still news? Maybe I misread the book but it seems he pulled aside his dad and brother/SIL and told only them. To this day people are obsessed with Meghan’s first pregnancy, discrediting it and Archie. That’s what this comes down to. Like it or not, I don’t see why this is still a big deal after all these years.
Gaslighting. A lot of people were surprised and upset that Meghan got pregnant. Bringing that mixed race baby into the family was one of her more egregious sins. They are pissed that she got pregnant, pissed that she was showing so soon, pissed that she told family, pissed that she happened to be showing at Eugenie’s wedding, pissed that she was so happy in spite of the smear campaign, pissed they can’t put her in her place, pissed she will not do as she is told, pissed at her popularity, pissed she didn’t send easter presents, pissed she didn’t have the bridesmaid dresses remade, pissed that she said baby brain, pissed she offers herbal remedies, pissed she was a superstar, pissed her baby bump was so big, pissed she held her tummy, pissed she rode the train and shared the car with the Queen, pissed she didn’t tell the press she was in labor, pissed that she didn’t text the family, pissed that she didn’t tell them the week before etc… People are fabricating fantastical protocols about when family members ought to be quietly told about a pregnancy. I see a lot of people here with insecurities who also lack reading comprehension skills.
Oh @RoyalBlue I could kiss you! 🙂
Everything. You. Said.
Or as M said: the fact that she exists is disrupting the hierarchy of that [dissipated—–my words] institution.
Well said, @RoyalBlue.
I’m now adding discussions of wedding etiquette to threads I will avoid (which include lip gloss, torn jeans and hugging).
@Artfossil – amen for that
@RoyalBlue 🎯🎯🎯
Every. Damn. Word.
💯
I find is fascinating that this topic has generated so many opinions. It just goes to show how large “The Wedding” looms in our culture. In many cultures, which have co-mingled and merged in both the US and the UK. No wonder it’s such a huge industry.
I guess my take is that a wedding is the “big day” for bride and groom, but also a larger community event for family and friends. Most marriages don’t exist in a bubble. For many people (not all), it is a matter of “you marry the family.” Your partners parents will be the grandparents of any kids you might have. If you don’t have kids, you’ll still probably see them at holidays. If they get sick, you might be called upon as a support system. And vice versa.
I am all for the focus being on bride and groom at a wedding. For the bride to have the dress of her dreams and chose the flowers. For the couple to write their own vows if they want. But at the end of the day, it’s about a union of two people who probably have other important people in their lives. It’s about a partnership that will hopefully last a long time, maybe a lifetime. It’s the start of a complicated journey.
Having a cousin (to whom you are close) choose my wedding day to quietly and privately inform a few family members that he and his wife are expecting? That wouldn’t intrude on my joy. YMMV.
Weddings are a time to catch up on family news and gossip. I remember waiting fairly late to tell family I was pregnant because my SIL was pregnant at the same time and didn’t want to steal her spotlight, and some people were pissed I waited so long to tell them. It’s a no win situation. They probably wanted to get through the 1st trimester and since they were heading overseas, the alternative was finding out from the press, We don’t know who else knew so acting like they tapped the glasses and made an announcement during toasts is ridiculous.
Look, Ideally you don’t announce at a wedding (even in whispers) but given Meg’s age (I was her age when I got pregnant and all you hear is how OLD you are and how you REALLY REALLY REALLY could lose the pregnancy at any moment blah blah blah…it’s terrifying), they were probably holding out as long as they could to tell anyone because it’s scary. And personal. Every day that goes by without a miscarriage is a sigh of relief. If they had privately told William and Charles up prior to the wedding (where it was obvious she was expecting by the new fullness of her face), what are the odds it would have leaked? I’m thinking 100%. We have to acknowledge it’s not normal circumstances. Also, not everyone shows at the same time – I was showing in my face and um…other places…by the 2nd month. Some people don’t show until 5th month. It’s not the size of the baby – it’s also how the rest of your body reacts. I never had to wear a bra prior to pregnancy and by month 2 I was pushing a D. I couldn’t hide it if I wanted to.
I personally don’t see what’s so bad about sharing pregnancy news at a wedding, let alone at a pre-wedding gathering. Surely there’s room for more than one cause for celebration at a family event? Aside from that, I don’t know Princess Eugenie personally, but I remember her saying in a pre-wedding interview* that she wasn’t obsessed with everything being perfect, that she never lost sight of the fact that getting married means being with the one you love and that’s all that matters. Doesn’t sound like someone who expected 100% of the attention to be on herself. I suspect that if that if the opposite had happened – i.e. Meghan and Harry had kept the news under wraps until the official Palace statement – there would be criticism for that as well. I could imagine the tabloids saying: “What a dysfunctional family – do they only communicate via press releases?”
* https://www.vogue.co.uk/article/princesses-beatrice-eugenie-of-york-interview
Let’s set aside the pesky fact that Harry specifically said “various gatherings connected with the wedding” which is quite different than loudly sharing the news with friends across the aisle as Eugenie and Jack were saying their vows.
Let’s also set aside the context, which was a time of increasing tension between the Sussexes and his father and brother, which may have made it harder for Harry to get face time with either of them or even made face time with them undesirable as it would increase the chances of a shouting match or incandescence.
Eugenie was, and is, quite close with the Sussexes. Given some of these comments, this might come as a shock, but some people are actually happy when their close friends and family share joyous news. Happiness is not a zero sum game, there’s plenty to go around. Harry didn’t get on the mic during the toasts and steal Eugenie’s thunder, he quietly told his father and brother when he had the opportunity to do so before they found out from the press (as they would have, because she was showing during the tour). It’s more consideration than either of them ever gave Harry.
it seems like people can’t be happy for a couple getting married AND happy for a couple expecting their first child at the same time.
Especially when the expectant mother is a biracial American married to Prince Harry.
So it’s okay for everyone to completely shit on Meghan during her wedding preparations, snicker and make faces during her wedding itself, for certain family members attending to wear white, but it’s NOT okay for her and Harry to privately inform the rest of the family, not during the wedding itself or publicly in any way, that she was pregnant. I see.
This. Basically everything meghan does – even though Harry was the one telling people it’s somehow Meghan’s fault that she didn’t carry like random person x from wisconsin and therefore didn’t show and necessitate them having to ever tell anyone anything at any time ever – everything meghan does is wrong and everything all the whyte people did to make her life an endless horror is right. So so so
done with all these people who endlessly nitpick some random thing that the Sussex’s did as if it’s on the same page as driving someone to suicidal ideation or I don’t know leaking their location to the whole world when they no longer had security.
BUT HARRY TOLD HIS FATHER BEFORE THE WEDDING PRIVATELY IN HIS STUDY THAT THEY WERE EXPECTING THEIR FIRST CHILD. EUGENIE WAS GOING TO HAVE HER WEDDING RECEPTION IN THAT SAME
BUILDING ON A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT DAY! PULLING FOCUS BY TELLING SOMEONE SOMETHING ON A DIFFERENT DAY IN A COMPLETELT DIFFERENT PART OF A PALACE IS NOT OK! HOW DARE THEY!
fFS.
At the time, the BM were saying that Meghan announced her pregnancy at the wedding. So, this sounds like Harry correcting that – saying that he’s the one who told his family, quietly and not as a general announcement. And somebody must have leaked that to the BM because it was part of the story when H&M made their official announcement 3 days later. If it hadn’t been leaked, then we wouldn’t be still arguing about wedding propriety and who said what when.
I would be THRILLED if a loved one announced something that made them so happy at my wedding! Full on, give them the microphone and a damn spotlight. Weddings are supposed to be celebrating the union of family’s, not treating the bride like a solo pretty pretty princess for the day.
That said, in a family where all of Harry’s interactions with his father were managed through “men in gray,” this was probably his best option no matter what. It’s not like most of his family just stop by for lunch or take a random phone call. Hell, one of those men in gray probably told him it was protocol to tell the monarch in person 😂
It’s the RR who made a big deal of this and the reason why everyone is still offering their opinion about whether or not good news can be shared on a happy occasion. They wrote about the pregnancy more than the wedding. Family weddings are when a lot of family news is shared and members who don’t see a lot of each other catch up. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. They didn’t go up to the mike and announce their news. They didn’t make it a part of the toast, or went around to all the tables. They told members privately. Nothing rude about that. It would be extremely petty of someone to think that good news cannot be told privately to family members. Good news shared increases everyone’s happiness. And what happened to Tindall’s assertion that Harry told everyone on What’s App? And the question is, if the news was told privately, who leaked?
It seems pretty reasonable to me to tell Charles, William and even Kate at the wedding. Harry didn’t announce it to the crowd, he didn’t have the DJ play a song dedicated to his baby mama, and he didn’t include it in his toast. I don’t think it was rude – they probably waited until the last moment to confirm given the inherent risks in being pregnant after 35. Plus, Meghan was showing and they were about to embark on a huge international tour! Can you imagine how Harry’s family would have reacted if they hadn’t been told personally? “Blindsided” doesn’t cover it 🤣
What’s clear is that a. Despite living on the palace grounds, Harry hadn’t seen his father or brother until Eugenie’s wedding or they might have been told earlier. b. One of these three leaked details about the Sussexes “overshadowing” the wedding with their news.
Nothing Harry does is right, proper, or okay according to the BM and the Royal Family because…he loves Meghan, a biracial American who dared to love him back.
End of story.
And let’s say the quiet part aloud with our whole chests: The bigger transgression here is that H&M’s babies are in the line of succession and many British subjects, media rats, and the Royal Family themselves HATE that children with a Black grandmother are also KC3’s grandchildren.
I’m sure many on Salt Island want Meghan and her children to be unalive.
@Beverley white supremacy keeps folks in their feelings. the fact that Meghan’s son is higher up the succession line than edward, the gloucesters and kents has sent them stark raving mad.
Beverly this times 1000. They are so appalled that he loves a biracial American they can’t allow him one moment of being treated with respect!
I don’t think that the rest of the world is as troubled by wedding guests “stealing thunder” at weddings as are modern brides from the USA. Based on what I’ve seen on social media, brides in the States are very brittle about what guests wear and what they talk about at the reception more than any bride I’ve even known here in Canada. Harry and Megan telling their close family members about the baby at the U.K. wedding might not have bothered anyone who didn’t also choose to be bothered because they like to see Harry and Megan smeared.
You must be looking at the wrong accounts on SM. Been to many weddings in the US without running into this. Most were pretty casual. Interesting that this is your take when the controversy being discussed was drummed up by UK media and nothing to do with the US.
It’s not a US situation though. This is strictly the UK and the British press (and some commenters here) pretending as if this is a MAJOR faux pas committed to slight a chick that had a THREE DAY celebration for her wedding. Eugenie’s wedding didn’t happen in the US, and the American press isn’t still regurgitating this non-story SIX years later. THis is 100% a UK problem.
There are two things I find disrespectful to do at a wedding: get engaged or announce a pregnancy UNLESS the bride and groom are totally fine with it. But you should always ask permission first. While H&M did this privately, they had to know people would be talking about it. Like it or not, it does steal thunder from the wedding and you have plenty of time to share the news that’s NOT on a special day for someone else.
Who are these “people” who were talking about it? Not the press, not the crowd outside. Not the clergy performing the ceremony. Not the broadcasters covering it. So it begs the question – why is the family discussing something internal “stealing thunder”?
WHAT??? It was not *announced*, Harry respectfully told his father and brother, who then asked him to tell Kate. Meghan was showing and abstaining from alcohol so either way it would have raised conjecture and gossip. Telling your father something as wonderful as a pregnancy in private shows respect — it’s not like Harry was shouting it from the rooftops. No thunder was stolen from Eugenie and Jack’s big day, and this story probably has Ma Middleton’s fingerprints all over it to slag Meghan and Harry.
I don’t get the announced portion either, he told three people. If these three people told everyone in hearing distance, why are you mad at H&M? It’s like people are purposely ignoring he told three people in private to make it seem like they stopped everyone going to their seats to tell them. No one is saying it was rude of those other people to make it known during the weekend. I don’t get this standard people hold them too, they can make mistakes but sharing exciting news in a private setting with your damn parent and sibling shouldn’t count as one of them.
Sounding like an echo chamber here, but Christine and company….for the umpteenth time, it was not ANNOUNCED. Some of y’all failed reading comprehension in school, and it shows.
@Christine, how do we know H&M *didn’t* ask Eugenie and Jack’s permission? Knowing how close Harry and Eugenie are, I wouldn’t be surprised to learn that by the time of her wedding, Eugenie already knew and was keeping it a secret. She might have also known that H&M were planning to tell Charles and Willy before leaving on tour.
Eh. I personally wouldn’t have cared if someone announced their pregnancy during my wedding celebrations just like I don’t care if people mispronounce my last name. I still make the effort to pronounce other people’s names correctly because I recognize that it DOES matter to many people and I don’t want to cause offense. As evidenced in this very comment section, plenty of people who are H&M supporters find this specific choice questionable. ‘Don’t pull attention during someone else’s celebration’ is the same reason it’s considered bad manners to wear white to someone else’s wedding. You can find variations of this situation in etiquette guides, advice columns and the AITA subreddit. The consensus is that sharing your own big news at such events is a bad idea unless the bride/groom enthusiastically agree beforehand. Just because I think that this was tacky and poorly considered doesn’t mean that I’m excusing or ignoring worse behavior from other people. It’s not a big deal. It’s minor and easily forgiven by reasonable people (like E&J,) but it’s also uncharacteristically thoughtless. They’re human. They misstep. This was a misstep in my view.
None of what you say has any relevance to what H&M did, tho.
Care now to comment on the fact that H quietly and privately told his father and brother and brother’s wife during ONE OF THE MANY EVENTS CONNECTED TO THE WEDDING AND not THE WEDDING DAY ITSELF and then next thing we all know, the news is making the rounds of the britshidtmedia?
Would love to hear your opinion on that.
Nah that commenter is gonna hide like the rest when confronted with the truth from Harry’s book. Like I hope for everyone passing the royal rota drivel u all getting paid or else this is just pathetic
It’s always meghan – aka a black woman – who is pulling focus.
Where were these wedding etiquette nazi’s during Meghan’s wedding when the whyte women made faces, laughed, rolled their eyes ON CAMERA IN FRONT OF BILLIONS OF PEOPLE and Kate wore white??? That’s all fine I guess. Not a peep from them. But tell three close relatives at a wedding adjacent but not actually the wedding that you are expecting and it’s a fricking pearl clutching party amping up to a lynching?
All yalls racism is showing. And it’s ugly.
I completely disagree, given these specific circumstances. Pulling select family members aside during events that were neither the wedding nor the reception to inform them about the pregnancy the day before leaving on a 3-week tour, during which that pregnancy would be announced to the world, is entirely appropriate. It was confirmed by Mike Tindall that the family knew before the wedding ceremony so given that Eugenie’s wedding ran over three days, I’m guessing it was during a social event that Friday. I don’t see the problem here. The focus isn’t going to stay on the bride and groom every minute over the course of three days. That’s just not realistic. People will discuss other things. As there was no “announcement” made and also since nothing was said during the wedding or reception, this is a non-issue.
Where in the etiquette books does it say there is a moratorium in even mentioning a pregnancy to the future grandfather in his own study, which is clearly not where the wedding took place.
Nothing was announced and Harry never told Charles, William or kate at the reception. So why are we even pretending that this is what happened.
I feel that the only people upset about the news that Meghan and Harry were expecting came out were Prince Andrew and Fergie. They went to great lengths to get Eugenie’s wedding televised (it wasn’t going to be initially) and to have a three-day celebration. William & Harry didn’t even have that big of a do for their weddings. They wanted all the focus to be on the York family. I believe that Harry told Charles, William & Kate, and some pre-wedding events the night before the wedding, not on the day itself. I don’t like Mike Tindall, but he even said it wasn’t at the wedding.
Yep. Anyone saying it was a mistake, is falling into the PR trap set by Andrew.
And yes, I do remember Mike Tindall saying that.
I don’t think it was them at all. I think that dinner between WIlliam/Kate and Chuck/Camilla happened earlier in the Harry and Meghan’s Australian, like the day they arrived because the tabs had the lie right when they landed.
I do agree at the time this mess had Andrew/Fergie all over it. I still say that I saw Fergie doing some subtle digs at Meghan the past two years. I can’t stand her.
I think we are all missing the obvious culprit here. Camilla skipped the wedding because she had issues with Andrew. So when she learns of the news from Charles, this is exactly the kind of thing that she would tell her media people because it could be twisted to make H and M look bad and take away from Andrew’s daughter. A two for one smear.
This!!!!! @Nic919. At the time, it was made to sound like Andrew/Fergie/Eugenie were big mad. In a post, when it came up in 2021?, I believe I disagreed. Not giving favor to Andrew, just didn’t think it would be an issue for him or Fergie. Believe I thought W or K were the guilty ones. Didn’t know Camilla wasn’t there. Looking up some things now. lol Vickie of no lashes excused Camilla.lol
https://www.harpersbazaar.com/celebrity/latest/a23630515/princess-eugenie-wedding-duchess-camilla-not-attending-royal-wedding/
Ooo, nice catch, truly devious.
Screams of a cam moment for sure. Can we call the ppl supporting the theory cam sycophants
There seems to be a lot more to Camilla not being at Eugenie & Jack’s wedding than what’s been reported. Nic919, in my opinion, is spot on. The pregnancy non announcement was manipulated to, this time, overshadow Camilla’s absence from the wedding.
Vickie No Eyelashes wrote that Cam’s engagement in Scotland was planned looong ago. E&J’s wedding date was announced at least 8 months before their wedding. Early February of 2018. It’s been reported that Cam scheduled a shooting party weekend at Dumfries House after learning the date of E&J’s wedding. I believe some scurrying around was done to make it appear that Cam was doing something official. The 2 or 3 engagements could have easily been rescheduled. And, lol, if it was the Queen(heck even Kate) the children would be meeting…I could maybe buy the disappointment angle. Not buying children being disappointed in maybe not meeting Cam in 2018.
Thank you @Nic919 for pointing out the twofer.
F e r g I e ran to the media to complain William did not invite her to his wedding
Harry invited her to his wedding and that is the thanks he and Meghan get.
I would have told close family members before the wedding and then friends after to prevent a media leak.
The close family members are the one leaking!
Lynne, it did leak, which means it was one of the three Harry told. I think a lot of people assume Eugenie didn’t know that Harry was going to do this. I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that she did know. It wasn’t at the wedding, he very quietly told 3 people, and if she knew, Eugenie was very happy for them.
Personally, I think they should have just left a message for Harrys father and brother and let the press tell them since it was announced for the tour. I think they needed to do that because Meghan had some restrictions if I remember correctly. That would have been the only other way for them to get the information to them. I doubt they would have been penciled into anyone’s calendar before they left for their tour.
Omg I give – after some many accts here are like – it’s so tacky of h and m – how dare they steal Eugenia’s thunder and then when confronted with the fact that only 3 ppl were told during the activities not the wedding as per Harry’s acct – all the accts go dead silent – just say with ur full chest I hate h and m and how dare they leave the monarchy. And how dare Harry and Meghan tell their side of the story. If you’re gonna be petty scream don’t passive agressively imply and lie about things that didn’t happen.
Sorry some of you are doing my head in. When was he supposed to do this? Also the Queen already knew. But he told his dad and brother. And his brother made him tell his wife. They left the next day for a freaking trip.
This says a drinks reception at St George’s Hall, I thought the wedding day reception was at Royal Lodge?
This might help.
https://people.com/royals/princes-eugenie-royal-wedding-lunch-reception/
E & J’s wedding was on Friday, Oct. 12, 2018. After the church ceremony, a lunch reception was held at St. George’s Hall on the grounds of Windsor. Love that Harry called the reception for what it is actually is/was ‘drinks’ and probably appetizers (I hope).
Harry & Meghan met up with Charles in his study before this reception. (feel like I’m participating in a Clue game) Shared their news. Harry & Meghan went off to the drinks reception. Don’t know if Charles/Cam were there or not. After the drinks reception, Harry shared the news with William- who then directed them to share the news with Kate.
Friday evening a more formal reception was held at the Royal Lodge. We(me) don’t know if H&M attended the evening reception at Royal Lodge or any of the Saturday festivities.
We know H&M were going on the Oceania tour and there is an eleven hour time difference between London and Sydney. H&M arrived in Sydney on Monday the 15th.
I have been to so many weddings. I have never heard that it is rude to find out at a wedding that someone is pregnant, engaged, divorced, moving.
The Windsors are a weird family who never see each other. They are not normal. Eugenie and Jack had a televised wedding in a cathedral. Two or three days worth of parties. More attention than they deserve. And the takeaway is that one of their guests was pregnant at the time and happened to mention it during the reception? GET A LIFE. It’s not as if Harry handed a press release to the BBC and they stopped narrating the wedding and switched to only talking about the pregnancy.
I could tell Meghan was pregnant through my tv screen the minute I saw her. This outrage and analysis is only another pile on of Harry and Meghan, who have to pay for their popularity and attractiveness and coolness by being held to a ridiculous, made-up standard that no one else lives by. The only surprising bit about this anecdote is that Kate and Will were happy for them.
Celebitches!! I usually am content to read only, never comment… but this is too much. I would’ve loved any one, absolutely any one to announce a pregnancy, adoption, engagement, career change, or promotion at my wedding. Just more to celebrate! Instead, I had my f’n sister going around telling people she was raped decades prior and detailing how horrible her life is on my wedding rehearsal dinner and wedding day. Mind you, she had never, never disclosed any of this to her immediate family (myself included), but now felt it was the time and place to share with perfect strangers. Here I am, a bride in a geriatric pregnancy (we shared the news at end of the reception), supper hungry, crazy hormones, getting queries left and right about my sister disclosing she was raped decades ago on my wedding day. The kicker – they wanted to know what i’m going to do to help her. WTF!? – I don’t work for SVU and last I checked, i’m hosting someone’s wedding, oh yeah, my f’n wedding.
So, that’s how you pull focus on someone’s wedding, by delivering the worst kindda f’n news, NOT by adding to the joy. What I wouldn’t have given for a pregnancy announcement at my wedding.
Really hoping that your sister’s disclosure was greeted with a little more sympathy & concern on the day & that she got the help she was obviously crying out for.
@shesaidwhatshesaid- I COMPLETELY agree with your outrage regarding your sister. Because, and correct me if I’m wrong, but she would have had ways to communicate with you, prior to your wedding, if she so desired, right? Your phone #, your email, SOMETHING. And so If she suddenly found herself compelled to open up about some terrible things that happened to her, there is NO DOUBT that she could have talked about it with you WELL before, or after your wedding. I don’t know your sister, but it sounds very very much like she was TRYING to bring down the happy mood at your wedding. I think she was fully aware of the shocked, uncomfortable, awkward reactions that she would get, and that it would bring any casual, happy conversations to a screeching halt, except of course for the people who would try to turn your wedding into an intervention or something, AND put the onus on YOU to “help” her! Unless your sister is schizophrenic, I think she knew what she was doing. That must have felt very much like a betrayal to you, I’m sorry you had to experience that, and from a sibling no less. ☹️ I have a sister, and I wouldnt try to pull focus at her wedding for a million dollars. There is literally NOTHING that could or would prompt me to do that to her at her wedding. It blows my mind the way some siblings seek to hurt each other 🤯
SheSaidWhatSheSaid! – Very sorry to hear you had this upset at your wedding. Hoping that your pregnancy went successfully to term.
I swear all weddings are today is a chance for people to be offended by “the rules” not being followed. Weddings aren’t just about the bride and groom, they are about the families involved. A new pregnancy is part of that.
And it wasn’t at the wedding. Harry told his father in his father’s office, for goodness sake! He told William after the reception, when they were hanging out. At a normal wedding, this would be back at the hotel where they were staying. Not upstaging a wedding.
Doubling down and interpreting rules in the most extreme manner doesn’t cut down on people doing outrageously awful things, it just makes everyone else miserable.
lol i love all the people who called this story BS and part of the “smear campaign” now bending over backwards to say it’s no big deal once proven true.
Well, the story was BS and was part of a smear campaign. At the time, the original story was that Meghan embarrassed Harry by announcing their pregnancy at the wedding. Here, we have Harry saying that they together, not Meghan alone, privately told his father and brother during the wedding wknd. Meghan was not walking around just telling everybody and embarrassing Harry. So nothing was proven true.
Hey I said even before hand this was stupid and isn’t a thing. But get your facts straight. People claimed Meghan made an announcement at the wedding like she got up and stole the dang mic. And the story going around was she told “everyone.” Harry’s book showed, nope. They only told two (Charles and Willy) and Willy made them go and tell Kate. So that last one is on Willy breaking wedding etiquette.
😀
I commented years ago that they never went and announced this during the actual reception and the book only proves I was right.
Not sure how you interpret it otherwise? Perhaps brush up on reading skills? I guess KP doesn’t pay their trolls enough for that b
I agree. The agenda of the day was slam Meghan and get her out of the UK & away from Harry. IMHO this agenda became more urgent when she became pregnant.
So, if they had told KC, W&K before the wedding, the story would have still been they overshadowed Eugenie’s big day by “announcing” their pregnancy news. Even if nothing was said AT the wedding, the story would have been the same. If they had waited until afterward, they would have been called selfish for not sharing this important news at the first opportunity and Eugenie’s wedding was the perfect opportunity to tell at least KC and W&K, especially since there was so much speculation about the pregnancy based on what Meghan wore. They were going to get slammed no matter what they did.
Yes, Mary S! I said similar above, and I agree with everything you said. The trolls today are not acknowledging the reality of the timing and events here. Nor are they admitting to the discretion H&M used in only telling 3 close family members. The goal then and now is to twist the situation to slam H&M – no matter what. This is simply more of the “She’s wearing pants!” “Her hair wisps are not protocol!” nonsense. If you don’t like the way in which they told 3 his father, his brother and sil at this point, there is nothing else anyone can tell you.
With what we know now, Meghan (and Harry to a bit of a less extent) was very isolated in the UK. Being that Eugenie was friendly I think they probably clung to her and she probably knew before the wedding. I think Eugenie probably agreed this was the only time to tell the rest of the family. Plus, Meghan was showing. Why have people whispering throughout the whole event? That would have been worse in my opinion.
As for my own personal thoughts: a wedding is supposed to be a celebration of love. If it was my wedding, I’d be so happy for a proposal, engagement announcement, or the announcement of a new family member. It would make day that much more special to me.
This is fine to me. As long as it wasn’t some big announcement, I think this is just the typical family gossip that goes down at big family events like weddings. Everybody catches up and everybody shares. Even if some people feel it’s outside protocol, it’s not something that would bring down the mood of the event or overtly upset people.
Exactly.
They didn’t do anything wrong by telling their family quietly, the fault lies with whomever leaked the news
I have to make a few points.
— This outrage over “SPOILING SOMEONE’S BIG DAY!” is why there are Bridezillas.
FFS, as others have noted, weddings are supposed to be joyful family events … the more reasons to be joyful, the better. (When my tiny toddler nieces stole the show by being so freaking adorable, my only concern was that the photographer captured their adorableness because it made me so happy. When one of my sister’s babies cried in the church, I cried a little, too — because I thought, this is what life is all about. The circle of life is beautiful. Also, I couldn’t wait to have kids.)
— But Harry and Meghan didn’t even do what they’ve been accused of doing. They shared the news with a select few family members. Is it their fault that their family is filled with gossips who couldn’t wait to share the news and blame M&H for revealing it?
— Meghan and Harry couldn’t do anything right. If the visibly pregnant Meghan had insisted on secrecy, the headlines would have been: “HARRY’S SECRET SHAME: MEGHAN HIDES PREGNANCY AT ROYAL WEDDING. IS IT EVEN HARRY’S BABY?”
Most of the ‘outrage’ is performative BS from professional Meghan haters. They’re so incredibly obvious. They truly need to go sip a cool drink (or a hot one) and calm down. The outrage is so fake it’s laughable. If they’d told W or C before, it would have been leaked. Then the focus would have 9on her. The way they twist themselves into knots to bash them is frankly, a feat. An hilarious feat.
Telling a couple family members privately during wedding festivities about becoming parents for the first time is not even close to being on the rudeness scale. It wasn’t an announcement. It was letting a father in on some good news.
Here in Argentina if you announce your pregnancy in a wedding, it is not considered rude. I’ve been to weddings where the bride and groom handed the mic to somebody to propose…
Maybe it is the cultural difference, because here every celebratory ocassion is shared (and any ocassion is good enough to eat A LOT and drinks even more)
Exactly this.
I agree. This has to be a white western thing. I am baffled at it.
No. It’s a BRF planting stories with the British media thing. In this situation. I’ve been to countless weddings in my life. There is only one (believe I’ve posted about here on CB before) that will stand out forever as the wedding that the bride made it known everything was about her. It was insufferable at the time. True comedy afterwards. She made multiple speeches-not comments-speeches. (though I’m feeling I’m doing the same now-gah). The fun part for attendees couldn’t happen until we had to sit and watch (interspersed with speeches) the bride dance with her husband, her brother-in-law, her father-in-law, her father and then her grandfather. No joke. We thought we were at a play we didn’t buy tickets for. H*llscape. Us guests were captives to a sh*tshow.
So, finally, the DJ dancing thing starts. The bride gave them a list. A list of songs that doesn’t encourage people to get out and dance-especially anyone above the age of 25 at the time. Even the younger ones weren’t out dancing. People were quietly complaining at different tables. Complaining and doing nothing. Because I am that @sshole, I wrote a list of fun songs(couple romantic oldies What a Wonderful World, Love is All Around, and Fools Rush In(Can’t Help Falling in Love With You-forget the actual title) gave it to the DJ with $$. Saying, do what with you will. The DJ said, “The bride will be mad.”. Me: Her guests are not really having fun now. Empty dance floor. There is an age disparity. DJ started playing from my list. Wooly Bully. Louie Louie then What a Wonderful World. People went out and danced and were having fun. Bride confronted me. “You requested them to play songs I was saving for later.”. Me: “I’m sorry. No one was dancing. Then they danced”. Held back sarcasm. You don’t get the party started later.imo H&M’s music track is awesome. I recommend to any bride to have Land of a 1000 Dances on their playlist.
Sounds lovely.
So was it Charles/his Rottweiler or William who leaked this story to the press?
THAT is the question I want answered.
I’m so glad I don’t have friends or family members who would be petty enough to feel “slighted” by anyone’s pregnancy announcement to a few other family members during their wedding. It’s expected from the toxic Windsors, but I’m really floored to see so many people agreeing that a wedding day is some kind of sacred event where nothing but the newlyweds should be talked about or considered at all. How bizarre. Must be an exhausting way to live.
Couldn’t agree more. The H&M haters are toxic and they’ve saved up for today. A private conversation in a study and a private conversation with his brother isn’t yelling from the rooftops. He didn’t tell anyone in a group or stand up and give an announcement. His brother insisted on telling Kate or she wouldn’t have known.
I’m curious as to what talking points are discussed during a wedding for those who say it was rude or tacky to tell two people privately that you were expecting? Do these same people condemn talks about anyone’s potential promotion, graduation, academic or sporting accolades? Are pregnant women who are showing condemned from attending a wedding for fear that it might start guest inquiring about their imminent birth and baby? Are new parents and grandparents forbidden from showing photos or discussing that baby Timmy just learned how to role over? Are all guests expected to be dull and mute before, during and after a wedding? I’m curious because I have a funeral to attend and although my family has always used every get together as an opportunity to celebrate and/or mourn the specific people and event we are gathered for, we are still able to celebrate our loved ones special moments simultaneously without overshadowing the main reason and person we are gathered for.
You went where I did. This is not a thing. This isn’t an etiquette thing either. The only time I saw a rule break was when one couple got engaged at my friend’s wedding. That mess was tacky since she had a 30 person small wedding. The dude comes up saying in front of all of our friends here I want to ask you to marry me. My friend and I go, none of us know who you are dude.
No offense but some of yall have to just be white. I am Black. This is not a thing. I found out about pregnancies, deaths, promotions, celebrations at weddings. Do you all think that people sit around talking about the bride and groom the whole time?
Also pulling focus? Too many of you seem down with no thought but the bride passes through your brain at a wedding.
Also, at the last wedding I went to this fall I was with my siblings, some of who I haven’t seen in person in almost 6 months. We obviously caught up. It’s the first time my brother saw me since I had good news in my life I got to share with others there. Apparently I should have waited until the next day or something.
ChillinginDC, I’m white and when family gets together for major events, of course everyone catches up and if someone is pregnant, they are going to tell the family. This truly isn’t about families. I wonder if this is a ‘class’ thing in the UK? It just doesn’t make sense to me at all. What’s wrong with just being happy for other family members?
My husband’s family is Jewish and they would definitely share the news at a wedding. Not with the whole crowd, just with each other in the way H and M did. My family is Episcopalian and I am pretty sure we would have done it too. At least some of us would have.
I mean, there’s white and there’s WHITE, I guess? The Windsors are a whole other, special shade of white. They’re weird and have weird rules about everything. They apply the rules selectively, but they have them.
I think it’s more like a white British issue. I’m Eastern European and I couldn’t care less about someone telling about pregnancy in someone else’s wedding. Also I don’t think we have any rules for what colour dress the guests should or should not wear.
The only way to know for sure how Eugenie felt is to ask her. Just saying.
Or to consider the post of congratulations she put out before anyone else. Or to consider the post of congratulations she put out when Archie was born. Or to consider her traveling and spending time with them in Montecito during Super Bowl weekend. Or seeing her interact with Archie at the beach in the documentary. We don’t necessarily need to hear her speak publicly to know how she feels.
Apparently there needs to be a sworn affidavit for some people to believe things. Harry literally explained what happened and people are still pretending he announced it at the wedding. He did not. And regulating what guests say to each other privately at a wedding is all kinds of fucked up and not an actual breach of etiquette.
It is maddening reading the comments from people so willfully obtuse.
Here are the facts:
1. Harry had a private word with Charles, in Charles’ study. NOT AT THE WEDDING. NOT ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING.
2. Harry had a private word with William at a pre-wedding event. NOT AT THE WEDDING. NOT ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING. William asked Harry to tell Kate.
3. Harry told Kate at a pre-wedding event. NOT AT THE WEDDING. NOT ON THE DAY OF THE WEDDING.
4. HARRY AND MEGAN DID NOT ANNOUNCE THEIR PREGNANCY AT THE WEDDING, NOR AT THE POST-WEDDING RECEPTION, NOR THE DAY OF THE WEDDING.
5. Eugenie’s wedding was on a Friday. Harry and Meghan departed for their Oceania tour on Saturday and arrived in Australia on Sunday. The public pregnancy announcement was made on Sunday, so Eugenie and Jack were able to bask and revel in their wedded bliss for all of Friday, all of Saturday and most of Sunday.
6. Mike Tindall made it clear that the family knew BEFORE the wedding as the pregnancy had been discussed on the family WhatsApp group.
7. If Harry and Meghan had delayed telling Charles, William and Kate until the public announcement all the pearl-clutchers in the comments would have been outraged by Harry and Meghan failing to pull the three aside and let them know about the pregnancy in private before the public announcement.
8. Meghan and Harry waited until she was out of her first trimester. She was a “geriatric” mother and as such considered a high-risk pregnancy. People with high-risk pregnancies tend to wait until the end of the first trimester before making pregnancy announcements.
9. Meghan was showing. She thoughtfully wore an outfit that masked her stomach at Eugenie’s wedding. However, she was showing enough that she had to announce it before the tour so that the focus could be on the events rather than an “is she/isn’t she pregnant.” THE PREGNANCY WAS ANNOUNCED ON SUNDAY, two days after Eugenie’s wedding.
Harry & Meghan quietly told three people before the wedding. That is hardly making a grand announcement at the wedding and overshadowing the bride.
If Eugenie and Jack were so offended by Harry and Meghan, they had every opportunity to cut off all contact. They couples live 5000 miles apart. Instead, Eugenie and Jack are closer with Harry and Meghan than any other Windsor.
Some of you absolutely refuse to let the tabloid narrative of the story go. A narrative of events that DID NOT HAPPEN. You need to unpack why you insist on pretending like Harry & Meghan ran up the aisle, pushed Eugenie and Jack aside, and announced their pregnancy before all 800 guests. Why are you insisting that Harry & Meghan were the villains of the piece? Why are you fighting so incredibly hard to misinterpret events to justify your outrage?
Finally, for all the “Harry & Kate are sooooo close” fantasist.
Harry didn’t even think to tell Kate that he and Meghan were pregnant. She wasn’t an after thought, she didn’t even merit ANY thought. The chick never crossed his mind.
Harry told Charles. Harry told William. He had to be prodded to tell Kate. That speaks to the depth, or rather the lack of depth, of the Harry & Kate relationship right there. Clearly, there isn’t one.
Thank you. So much misogynoir.
Excellent summation. And, if their actions were so shocking and rude, wouldn’t Charles and Will the perfect have told them to not tell anyone else yet? Instead Will was urging them to tell someone else.
I remember there was gossip on a fashion site about the way Meghan was dressed, that she might be expecting. That glow. It’s only a big deal if Eugenia and Jack minded and evidently they are all okay. Maybe they were the first to know.
I remember there was gossip on a fashion site about the way Meghan was dressed, that she might be expecting. That glow. The pregnancy announcement only became a big deal because the press made it that way.
So first, the paps an with the birth announcement supposed scandal. Then Tiara-gate 2, where Meghan supposedly had wanted to wear the exact same emerald tiara loaned to Eugenia–but was refused.
Eugenia looks so pretty in her wedding dress and tiara. Everybody got the right dress and tiara.
I think it is more about timing – it seems in some ways H&M are very unlucky with timing – things happen and overlap and it is not optimal for them. Quite sad really. It has stopped them from really thriving.
They are not unlucky with timing. Some in the media have a habit of criticizing them for whatever they do.
They are thriving.
Harry told Charles, William, and Kate privately, at pre-wedding events BEFORE the wedding on Friday.
The public announcement was on Sunday, two days AFTER the wedding.
The family had already known about the pregnancy from the family group chat.
Eugenie & Jack had Friday, Saturday, and part of Sunday to celebrate their wedding weekend.
There was no unfortunate timing. No one stole Eugenie & Jack’s thunder.
Considering the BM pretty much terrorizes them 24/7, this is not about timing. It’s clearly calculated smears by miserable people. And those people would love to see the Sussexes destitute and not thriving. But that’s just not the case. Stopped them from really thriving? Puhleez. They live in a beautiful home with 2 adorable kids, are hot and love each other. Plus a bestselling book. A hit show. A hit podcast. Stopped from really thriving? Nah. They’re thriving in spite of the attacks. This is some concern trolling bs.
If u consider them not thriving with all the successes – number one book and podcast for one – then have I shudder to think what u do consider thriving. 302 views for earthshot perhaps. I get it real facts are hard to digest but bland false generalizations- daily mail gold
So timing in BM means H&M breathe in public on any other royal’s BD, wedding, tour, etc. is bad. A royal announces his coronation (or any other event) for H&M or Archie and Lili’s BD and it’s fine.
I bet anything E&J knew ahead of the day. The ones who were annoyed Andrew and Fergie – and it wasn’t the personal announcement but rather the official one a) cos they have an inflated sense of self and wanted the attention on them for a few more days b) they had a deal with the vendors and were rolling out photos from the Monday onwards – once the official announcement hit no one was paying attention to their posts because we all were focused on the exciting news not on wedding flowers.
There’s no way the A&F arranged the wedding without financial grift involved. This was their revenge and they tried to pass as it off as E was annoyed
This isn’t good form.
Harry did nothing wrong here. He told his family his happy news, at a happy family occasion. Totally different than if he deliberately leaked it to the press prior/during the wedding itself. He wasn’t trying to overshadow Eugenie, and HE was not the one who let the MEDIA know so THEY could overshadow the wedding. “Shared pain is lessened, and shared joy is increased”-Spider Robinson, Callahan’s Cross Time Saloon
How anyone could think it is wrong to share such happy news at such a happy occasion is beyond me.