I still remember the moment most of us figured out that all was not well in Tom Brady’s marriage last year. Brady returned to the Bucs after a nearly two-week absence, and the man looked pulled, tucked, sucked and buffed. He also looked tired and thin, and he couldn’t hide the fact that his marriage to Gisele Bundchen was in shambles. People took one look at him and said “oh, he’s getting DIVORCED.” And he was.
I bring that up because that man is now divorced and unemployed. He retired from professional football last week and it’s time for Divorced Jobless Bum Brady. Yes, I know he’s rich. But he’s still a bum at heart. This 45-year-old man is out here thirst-trapping on Twitter. Have some decency, man, at least do it on Instagram. Drop into some 21-year-old’s DMs like you have some PRIDE. And tagging Gronk and Julian Edelman?? What are you up to, Tom Brady? (I would give anything to see Julian Edelman’s thirst-traps, my God, that is a fine man.) Anyway, it turns out that this was even sadder than a thirst-trap: it was sponsored content. He’s trying to sell his Brady-branded underpants. SAD!
Did I do it right? @Edelman11 @RobGronkowski @bradybrand 😬😬 https://t.co/9bN6N3WbSN pic.twitter.com/3lSgRXKc0F
— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) February 6, 2023
Meanwhile, Brady did confirm that he’s moving into football commentary, but not immediately. For a while, he’s had a contract to start his broadcaster position with Fox Sports for whenever he retired from the NFL. Now Brady says he’s actually going to wait until the fall of 2024 to start, meaning I guess Tom Brady is about to go on his Eat, Pray Love journey for the next nineteen months. Reportedly, Brady’s Fox Sports contract is worth $375 million for ten years. Bonkers.
You knew the plug was coming: https://t.co/L2N0nnIhRZ
— Tom Brady (@TomBrady) February 6, 2023
Tom Brady has been retired for like two business days and he's already taking shirtless mirror selfies no one has ever been simultaneously this divorced and unemployed
— Julia Claire (@ohJuliatweets) February 6, 2023
WHY IS TOM BRADY IN HIS DRAWS ON MY TIMELINE ?!?
During BLACK HISTORY MONTH
ON THIS LAND ?!??! pic.twitter.com/EJX7RpAvyG
— 🗽Sydette Cosmic Dreaded Gorgon 🇬🇾 (@Blackamazon) February 6, 2023
Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Brady’s Twitter.
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- Monaco, MONACO – **FILE PHOTOS** Like many public spaces across the country, parks in Tampa, Florida, are closed to visitors because of restrictions aimed at stopping the spread of coronavirus. That didn’t prevent one man from trying to get an outdoor workout recently. The scofflaw was none other than new Tampa resident Tom Brady, according to Mayor Jane Castor. And, yes, the superstar quarterback was sighted (not cited), she said. Park staff came across Brady while patrolling a downtown park, Castor said Monday during a joint news briefing with St. Petersburg Mayor Rick Kriseman. “I got to tell you this story, too. Now, I always tell people, I’m not one to gossip so you didn’t hear this from me,” Castor said. “Our parks are closed down; and so a lot of our parks staff they patrol around just to make sure that people aren’t doing contact sports and things like that, and saw an individual working out in one of our downtown parks,” Castor said. “And she went over to tell him that it was closed and it was Tom Brady.” Pictured here during a Tag Heuer event during the 76th Formula 1 Monaco Grand Prix **SHOT ON 05/26/2018** Pictured: Tom Brady BACKGRID USA 21 APRIL 2020 BYLINE MUST READ: Best Image / BACKGRID USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
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- New York, NY – Tom Brady is retiring from football after 22 seasons in which he won a historic seven Super Bowl titles. Pictured: Tom Brady BACKGRID USA 29 JANUARY 2022 BYLINE MUST READ: MediaPunch / BACKGRID USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
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- Munich, GERMANY – Quarterback Tom Brady and the rest of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers battle the Seattle Seahawks at Allianz Arena in Munich. Pictured: Tom Brady BACKGRID USA 13 NOVEMBER 2022 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
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- Munich, GERMANY – Quarterback Tom Brady and the rest of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers battle the Seattle Seahawks at Allianz Arena in Munich. Pictured: Tom Brady BACKGRID USA 13 NOVEMBER 2022 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
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- Munich, GERMANY – Quarterback Tom Brady and the rest of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers battle the Seattle Seahawks at Allianz Arena in Munich. Pictured: Tom Brady BACKGRID USA 13 NOVEMBER 2022 USA: +1 310 798 9111 / usasales@backgrid.com UK: +44 208 344 2007 / uksales@backgrid.com *UK Clients – Pictures Containing Children Please Pixelate Face Prior To Publication*
Whew. Chile. The actual embarrassment I was able to summon for him was real. He is struggling and barely has an ounce of dignity left. G knew already and wisely bounced.
He lost a bet. He should have gotten help to post a decent pic even if it was the result of a lost bet.
Or made it clearer what exactly he was doing and how it related to a bet.
It just looked like a thirsty underwear pic for no reason. Someone come help this Gen X’er with his phone, please.
@Molly I am crying over “can someone help this genXer with his phone?” 😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣
@Molly – love it!! comment of the day. I agree it was stupid as hell but I guess he got the attention the company wanted out of this??
I seriously thought that was Jerry O’Connell at first glance and was worried about him being so skinny
I thought it was Jerry too! So glad I’m not the only one.
Lame.
He’s so gross.
Okay is Tom Brady officially having a middle age crisis? His long-suffering wife divorcing him is doing a number on him. I think is just a matter of time before he hooks up with a 25 year old woman.
Nothing says “I’m on top of the world” more than dating someone half your age and telling yourself it’s because you are so awesome.
At the rate he’s going, 5 years from now he’s going to have a 28-year-old wife and 2 toddlers running around. Such a stereotypical midlife crisis.
At this rate I actually feel sorry in advance for the 25 year old trophy wife he is parched my Goodness
Lookin like Tom Baby in those little briefs. Young man can’t even fill them out.
Please let’s not go there. A man should not be judged by the size of his junk. Professional underwear firms pad their models’ crotches by the way.
If the man is using his junk to sell a product, I’m judging it. Thanks so much.
No, he shouldn’t be. But when he’s putting it out there like that? I think it’s fair to comment.
I’m definitely going to judge him for being a douche bag, and for how thirsty he’s coming off.
hahahahahahaaa hysterical!!
I cannot express how much that picture bothers me. Just immediate cringe. My shoulders are up to my ears. He is so deeply unsexy to me. Tom Brady what are you DOING 😂
I do agree with what you wrote.
Side note- technically he’s not unemployed – he signed a 300million (can’t recall exact amount) with Fox to be a sports castor I read. But this is major cringe worthy. I bet Giselle is shaking her head.
Deeply unsexy 😹 so accurate 🎯 He is so repulsive.
+1
I agree I do not find him attractive at all.
I just don’t find him in anyway attractive. And the hand covering his (clothed) 🍆 is just making me think more about his 🍆 and ngl, it’s making me fkn uncomfortable. Does anyone else find this verkakte *thirst trap* completely creepy?
Tom Brady is not unattractive. That picture is not good: He is sitting down looking uncomfortable and he is covering his crotch. If you are going to advertise a garment you don’t cover it up, unless he was told to do that in order to make it G-rated. Perhaps he should hire a advertising firm to hire models to model his underwear for him.
@Lolo86lf Proving the adage that there’s dip for every cracker, you are of course free to find Tom Brady attractive. But many many of us do not. At all. Even before this unfortunate picture. Particularly this year when he has literally looked like walking karma.
@JW says:
I’m completely with you. In my opinion there is nothing attractive about him. Personally, I find him kind of doofy looking. He’s definitely not my cup of tea.
💯
First thing I noticed and I found it completely the opposite of sexy.
I fully acknowledge that Reddit is a cesspool. HOWEVER. There was a thread on the Pop Culture subreddit re: this pic yesterday that had me HOWLING. The comments were sublime. Go find it and read. You’re welcome.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Tom. Nobody wants to see this. You have children whose friends will make sure they see this. This is Not It. I did not and have never found TB attractive, and now I find him less so. In summation, blech.
i don’t know if it’s a thirst trap if he posted the pic because he lost a bet? i really, really hate defending this man but the vitriol is a little over the top and facts actually matter. he has a long history of wearing silly t-shirts and the like as a result of lost bets, and everytime it gets tons of attention. and my guess is that this bad pic did just that – got tons of attention for his brand at his expense. tagging his boys made it clear that he was in on the joke but it sure does make for great gossip.
Yeah, that’s the reason he tagged Edelman and Gronk. That’s who he lost the bet to. I don’t think this was supposed to be a serious thirst trap. I mean, he’s sitting down in a dark room and the focus of the photo is on the (amazing!) view outside. I’m pretty sure this was supposed to be a joke.
I saw that view and thought wow, you could see the tsunami coming from eighty miles away. Ditto the hurricanes. Can you tell I don’t want to live oceanside?
No one likes him enough to make a silly bet with him. As someone who has thirst-trapped in her time, the fake “bet” is a classic gambit.
Taking this opportunity to call out the “you knew the plug was coming” line from the brand post – if this pun wasn’t purposeful someone needs to be fired.
He’s so gross. I don’t find anything attractive about him. He just gives me doofus vibes.
He looks like someone stuck Jerry O’Connell in a microwave and melted his face. Eek.
I can’t say I spent long looking at the picture but I did wonder whose face that was.
I could not think of Jerry’s name for anything but that’s exactly who he looks like here!
He looks so much like Jerry O’Connell that I wouldn’t have known it was Tom if his name wasn’t attached.
Is that a pet or someone hiding in the back? Divorced, unemployed, underwear selfie Tom is so unsexy lol
Even his dog can’t look at him when he’s posing like that LOL
Alright Poirot! Well spotted. It’s a puppy. Now, he would have done better if the puppy was in the photo.
I am not a fan of his and when I tell you I CACKLED at that tweet. Dear lord! Christmas came early! 🤣
💯💯💯
*snortlaugh*
AHAHAHAHAHAHA!
AHAHAHAH!
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
I have never understood what is attractive about this man besides his money and fame.
What is this fresh amusement? Another mediocre white man sad sack blundering his way into a laughable Instagram pic? Sorry, I also meant to add cringe-inducing. Can this be THE PHOTO to upstage Brad Pitt’s white man sad sack Cabo photos? I didn’t think it possible BUT YES I feel Tom Brady has reached Brad Pitt-douchey-ness. Congrats Tom! No Super Bowl ring but hey at least you’re in pathetic company.
Wow, nice view. Wouldn’t mind waking up to that every morning *I think to myself as I look past TB to the ocean & palm trees*
He looks lonely. Not even the most beautiful penthouse view in the world can compensate for a loving wife and children.
I think the view of a football field compensated him for those for a long time.
Is it wrong to hope Giselle gives another “best wishes on your future endeavors” type of comment to this tweet?
That would be fantastic. Copy paste the exact same wording.
Also that fully made me LOL, which I don’t think is the response they were hoping for.
Oh my. Think of his children. The embarrassment.
Those last two Tweets have me cackling.
Yeah, definite cringe – but I wouldn’t call a $375 million contract “unemployed.”
Okay so I’m not a fashionista, is it common or trendy to have a seam right down the crotch for men’s underwear? Seems like odd placement.
His eyes are too close together, just like Channing Tatum. Not attractive.
I wholeheartedly agree!
‘Tis the season of hot successful women divorcing douchey athletes it seems. Said athletes don’t seem well. But from a gossip perspective, I can’t wait to see what Gisele and Shaki are going to do next, dating-wise.
The hand placement is both gross and neccessary. The face is filtered to hell and back, what is even happening.
Shakira wasn’t married to Pique.
He looks like he is waiting in an exam room for The Rubber Glove. He obviously learned no modeling tips whatsoever from his years with G. This is hilarious and somewhat creepy.
That last tweet was every damn body. NOPE.
I remember about 10 or so years ago Brady was considered handsome by a certain demographic and I just…never saw it. About 2-4 years ago he slimmed down even more and defined his body but his looks were fading with the weight is and I got it, he was transforming his body for the foundation of youth, but this past fall I was shocked. Brady just didn’t look good. I know we like laugh at him but this selfie is just cringe and tragic. It kind of makes me feel sorry for him 🫣😬
I agree and on the Pats I found Drew Bledsoe and Jimmy Garoppolo way hotter than him.
If Gisele is really the genius at self-promotion that I have read she is, look for the slow start to their reconciliation. This time next year will be their fabulous second wedding with their children as their attendants.
Why on earth would she want that? That dude needs more than a year to figure his shit out, and I really hope she understands that she can expect more from life.
Omg between the write up, the tweets and all the comments THIS IS THE HARDEST I’VE LAUGHED IN A HOT MINUTE! At least some good came from this truly poor decision, TB.
That Black History tweet took me out. She did it in all caps. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
omg @Tiffany me too! 🤣🤣🤣
What an awful pic. Slumped over, lousy posture, looks sad and tired.
If he wanted to sell underwear he should have had a professional take the pic.
There is a dog in the pic, so he at least has a pet with him. The dog should have talked him out of this.
Oh Tom, oh honey no! Not in the year of our lord and savior Beyonce. I just threw up in my mouth a little but I am loving this for him….not our eyes but him .
“(I would give anything to see Julian Edelman’s thirst-traps, my God, that is a fine man.)”
Too right. Anyway, here you go!
https://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/page/bodyjulianedelman/new-england-patriots-wide-receiver-julian-edelman-breaks-how-made-super-bowl-catch-body-issue-2017
Do the mag still do The Body Issue because those were just fantastic issues.
Beautiful pics and great articles to go with them.
Dayum thanks! Whew it’s hot in here!
C-Shell, thanks for that! Holy moly, that Fella is fit. 👍
He could have had more fun with it asking a friend to model them in a “fun sexy” pose but maybe from the back if he was to self conscious to do it from the front. Which I totally get, not all men want to show off their goods, I know I don’t want a pic of me in a bra and underwear out there on social media. He’s not ugly but as people have said above, I never found him attractive, just kind of bland. Anyways he probably had to do some post for sponsored content but he should have had a Gen Z tell him what to do.
The producers of “Eighty For Brady” must be smacking their heads in frustration that the movie launched NOW, of all times. Ouch.
Also, why is the underwear that color? It’s not a good look.
Leave Tom alone.
He’s light years ahead of your envy based gate.
Superstars have hearts too and his is breaking.
Be sure and smile through your next divorce. You can only fantasize about the life he lives.
😂😂🤣🤣😅
My thoughts exactly, LOL
This.
I admit, I’d like Tom Brady’s bank account. The rest of his life is awful though. I mean, football? Really? It’s not like he gave everything up for something of any lasting importance even. Not art, not love, not some cause. Football. Absolutely pathetic.
What, you mean my satisfying life that is more than just the job I do? Or my ability to care for others and put their needs ahead of my own when warranted? Or is it the fact that I eat potatoes, tomatoes, sugar, dairy, and really anything I want (in moderation) because life is meant to be enjoyed?
You must mean be referring to my happy, fulfilling long-term (almost 20 years!) marriage and the fact that my two beautiful kids live with my terrific spouse and me in our comfortable home full-time. Yes, I can dream.
Brady has no charm, he’s not attractive and he just seems like a big doofus. Athletes and celebrities are a two very different breeds. Some athletes can merge the two but others like Brady just come off awkward.
— *record scratch* *freeze frame* “Yup, that’s me. You’re probably wondering how I ended up in this situation“
He’ll be fine. If not for his looks, his money.
Good god that’s awful. He looks like he’s doing an Anthony Weiner and about to sext some woman. Ewwwwww, just ewwwwww!!
😂 😂 no he did not do it right 😂
CBers, for an example of the correct way to advertise mens undies Google Jim Palmer for Jockey photos.
Palmer, a HoF baseball pitcher and overall good looking Fella, did print ads for Jockey underwear and he was confident without being icky at all.
Having lived thru a divorce. I can’t kick Brady.
He has nothing to occupy his time after retirement, G is fine without him.
I’m not bothered by the picture honestly. BUT – I’m here for the Tom Brady mockery. Please carry on!!
It looks like a ransom photo from a wellness retreat.
He traded his whole life for sportsball. For nothing.
I totally don’t believe he lost a bet. He’s competing with Gisele for attention because has lost his mind over retirement. What next, d-ck shots? I agree with the therapist who said Tom needs to go into therapy stat. He really does.
Despite my above comment, he looks good as hell in that picture.