For months, there’s been a steady drumbeat of aristocratic agita, confusion, heartbreak and salt over the invitations to King Charles’s coronation. It’s honestly one of my favorite things ever, to see all of these titled toffs – earls, dukes, viscounts, lords – lose their g–damn minds about NOT being able to pledge themselves to the new king whilst wearing feathers, velvet and knickerbockers. These toffs are the ones arguing that THEY are the ones people really want to see, and Charles’s “updates” and “modernizations” for the coronation are destroying something very dear to them: their social standing and their visible connection to the crown. If they aren’t important enough to be invited to the Chubbly, then maybe the whole bloody system is a f–king sham? Oh, dear. Well, now an untitled aristo – someone close to the Parker-Bowles clan – has run to the Mail to cry about how Charles is giving in to “drips and dullards” by “watering down” his coronation. Curious.

King Charles is in danger of giving in to ‘drips and dullards’ by ‘watering down’ his Coronation. The warning will set alarm bells ringing at Buckingham Palace because it comes from Ben Goldsmith, whose family have been close to the royals for decades.

‘No amount of watering down will ever be enough for the drips and dullards who really want this kind of thing abolished altogether,’ says the financier, whose sister, film producer Jemima Goldsmith, was one of Princess Diana’s best friends. ‘They represent a small, chippy minority who, for now, can be easily ignored. For the rest of us who enjoy the beauty of these ancient ceremonies, go big or go home.’

Goldsmith is a good friend of Queen Camilla’s nephew Ben Elliot and is so close to the royals that he and his wife, Jemima, a caterer, hosted the wedding party for Prince and Princess Michael of Kent’s daughter, Lady Gabriella Windsor. His comments follow my disclosure on Saturday that most of the 24 non-royal dukes — the most senior rank in the peerage — had not received invitations to the Coronation. One of those, Goldsmith confirms, is the Duke of Somerset. He had been ‘sprucing up’ the family state coach so he could potentially arrive at Westminster Abbey in ducal splendour. Goldsmith says: ‘Apparently, peers have been told they aren’t allowed to wear their coronation robes at the Coronation next month. Some, including our local one here, the Duke of Somerset, haven’t been invited at all.’

He adds: ‘It’s 70 years since the last one of these. I really hope it won’t end up being a watered-down affair. Britain does these kinds of celebrations so well, and they matter to a huge number of people, not just here but around the world.’

At Queen Elizabeth’s Coronation, the senior peer of each ‘degree’ — the duke, marquess, earl, viscount and baron with the oldest titles — ‘paid homage’ to the new monarch. Goldsmith believes it’s a mistake for the King to try to downplay the pageantry. ‘Everything else changes all the time, and so it’s reassuring for there to be some things which don’t change, through generations,’ says the son of late tycoon Sir James Goldsmith and Lady Annabel Goldsmith, the daughter of a marquess. ‘For this reason, every society that has ever existed has had its own unique, often strange and inexplicable rituals and traditions.’

Ben, the brother of Tory minister Lord (Zac) Goldsmith, adds: ‘America, a newer society than ours, has created for itself a whole array of local and national rituals and ceremonies which matter a great deal to the people involved in them. There is an ugly kind of self-hatred in calls for the watering down or eradication of the ones which are unique to our society. Thankfully, it’s only a small, slightly depressing minority, for the time being. Fingers crossed they are completely ignored.’

[From The Daily Mail]

“America, a newer society than ours, has created for itself a whole array of local and national rituals and ceremonies which matter a great deal to the people involved in them.” It’s true – we celebrate inaugurations, we annually celebrate our independence from the British crown, we soberly recognize Memorial Day and Veterans Day with Nissan sales. The difference is, we’re usually celebrating our democracy. We’re celebrating the public servants we voted for. The crown is asking people to not only pay for an excessive party for an unelected king, but *celebrate* the fact that taxpayer money is going to support these lazy elitists. It’s not just drips and dullards complaining, but I love that people like Goldsmith are actually upset that the ceremony isn’t going to be more elitist, more aristocratic, or more expensive.

Photos courtesy of Instar, Cover Images, Backgrid.