The more I see and read of Tyler James Williams, the more impressed I am with the man he is. He’s only 30 years old, a former child star who successfully transitioned to an adult actor. He currently works on Abbott Elementary, a massively successful network sitcom on ABC (owned by Disney). For Pride Month, TJW decided to address his fans about their near-constant speculation about his sexuality, most of which seems to be based on the fact that he has an excellent sense of style and he comes across as an intellectual. His message was SO GOOD.
Tyler James Williams is addressing the “dangerous message” of speculating his sexuality. The Abbott Elementary star, 30, spoke out on Sunday against people speculating his sexual identity, given the perpetual harm it causes for those actually questioning how they identify.
“Usually I wouldn’t address stuff like this, but I feel like it as a conversation is bigger than me. I’m not gay, but I think the culture of trying to ‘find’ some kind of hidden trait or behavior that a closed person ‘let slip’ is very dangerous,” began Williams on his Instagram Story. “Overanalyzing someone’s behavior in an attempt to ‘catch’ them directly contributes to the anxiety a lot of queer and queer-questioning people feel when they fear living in their truth. It makes the most pedestrian of conversations and interactions in spaces feel less safe for our gay brothers and sisters and those who may be questioning.”
“It also reinforces an archetype many straight men have to live under that is oftentimes unrealistic, less free, and limits individual expressing,” the Everybody Hates Chris alum added. The actor then shared that he uses his platform “to push against those archetypes every chance that I get. Being straight doesn’t look one way. Being gay doesn’t look one way. And what may seem like harmless fun and conversation may actually be sending a dangerous message to those struggling with real issues. I refuse to inadvertently contribute to that message.”
“Happy Pride to all of my queer and questioning brothers, sisters, and individuals. I pray that you feel seen in ways that make you feel safe in the celebration that is this month. As an ally, I continue to be committed to assisting in that where I can and helping to cultivate a future where we are all accepted and given permission to be ourselves,” he concluded his message with a white heart emoji.
I also believe that for many fans, the speculation is harmless and even done by LGBTQ fans of a certain show or actor or pop star or athlete. It’s how they express their love, and they create elaborate same-sex “ship” fantasies, etc. But Tyler is absolutely correct that lines are often crossed and that it often seems like fans expect men to “perform” their heterosexual masculinity at all times, lest they provide “evidence” of… whatever. It’s such a tricky conversation too, because if a man doesn’t give a crap about performing his cishet masculinity, then they might get hit with the “queerbaiting” label (see: Harry Styles). All of this because Tyler has amazing style!!
i hope everyone reads tyler james williams’ stories and takes notes pic.twitter.com/AgWIxgYTO2
— cait atreides (@timcqthe) June 4, 2023
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.
It needs to be said (written) this eloquently.
I was really impressed with his statement. It was so thoughtful and well written.
Me too, he’s clearly thought about and chosen his words precisely, to have the most impact. I have a bit of a crush on him now.
Just a lovely, well thought out statement. And the thing is it’s not about whether speculation is necessarily always harmful, of course it’s context specific, but William’s is giving us a reminder to be mindful that it *can* be, even when meant affectionately towards one’s fave. Just a really great gentle reminder that you never know what people around you may be dealing with.
He said that really beautifully!
As a black woman I also follow alot of the ‘black blogs’ on social media. Some of the conversations leave me gobsmacked on what straight black men should ‘Not’do: smoke hookah, get pedicures, go on a boy’s trip, celebrate your birthday, wear sandals or carry a man bag, dress a certain way, pamper yourself. It’s all silly and ignorant.
And joyless! I’ve seen the compiled lists on Twitter of everything it’s been said Black men shouldn’t do, and it’s like… no having dessert or sweets, no fruity or sweet drinks, no bananas, no having friends, no expressing emotions, no blowing on your food if it’s too hot, no using a filter on photos/Snapchat… it just sounds so EXHAUSTING, living like that.
@Nubia, as a Black woman , I try to stay away from a lot of the black blogs because some of the stuff they say and believe is just insane. We STILL have a lot of Black folk who CANNOT accept people who they know and love as queer. I actually had a guy at a West Indian bakery try to tell me that I cant’ let me kid have the pink cupcake he wanted. Dude, it’s cupcake STFU and give my kid the cupcake he wants. Unlike Kaiser I don’t think this speculation is harmless, you don’t know people, you see them on TV or at the movies. Mind your business.
He’s a really good actor and I love what he says here. He’s absolutely right.
A good statement, but I feel for the guy because the fact that he felt compelled to address it tells me what he is being forced to deal with. Ugh.
“Ships” or speculation on fictional characters is fine, fun, whatever. “Ships” or speculation on real people USED TO be fine, fun, whatever. Now thanks to social media fans seem to lose all boundaries and address real life as just part of the fun. Real life is far more complicated. I’m not even saying people should grow up, just that it’s time to remember what is part of the entertainment and what isn’t!
Honestly reading this has left me feeling quite emotional, what a wonderful man. I love that the conversation on what being an ally is is evolving and we have beautiful examples like this to help us on the journey.
I’ve watched many actors over the years and never thought about their sexuality, who they’re dating or who they live with.
People need to learn how to separate the actor from the person.
There should be a new trend where actors just promote their projects and keep their lives private.
But I know all the thirst traps will ruin it for everyone else.
He handled that so well, and he’s right. I also think the queerbaiting conversation, like the approprifishing conversation, has become lost and toxic in some ways.
I love him so much on AE, and he, like pretty much everyone else in the cast, seems to just be a great, thoughtful, and considerate person.
Just honking for a great article.
What a great example he sets for all of us, I stand in awe. Really touched by his statement.
There’s also the flip side of this where gay people insist that a fave must be secretly gay because they find them attractive or somehow cool. The evidence so often comes down to their having gay friends. It can definitely get creepy. It’s also off putting, because it leaves you wondering what this person thinks of their cis straight friends or if they are feeling the need to perform the “gay friend” role.
I always feel for Shawn Mendes. He’s been on the spotlight since a teen and many people keep forcing a sexuality on him bc he’s not a stereotypical straight man . As a gay man I enjoy seeing that type of non toxic straight men. Many of that speculation comes from gay social media. It’s giving Perez Hilton trying to out every queer celebrity in the early aughts which is despicable.
What a lovely guy.
❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 what a thoughtful and important message. Great guy.