I freaking love writing about Marilyn Manson. You know why? Because no matter how messed up my life is, I feel completely sane and boring next to him. And I assume that applies to most of you dear readers too. In fact if any of you feel crazier than he is, feel free to email me, because I want to know what the hell is wrong with you. Marilyn got sued for $20 million a few months ago by his former keyboardist Stephen Bier – nee Madonna Wayne Gacy – for misappropriating band funds. Or as they call it in rock and roll, “Blowing your wad on hookers and heroin.” Gacy accused Manson of frittering money away on such oddities as a taxidermied grizzly bear, vintage Nazi paraphernalia, and African masks made from human skin. [I just have to interrupt to say that as a former criminology major, that was an extra funny sentence to write. If I could have gotten Dahmer or Bundy in there, my life would be complete]. Gacy also claims that Manson used band funds to pay for his pricey wedding to Dita Von Teese, her $150,000 engagement ring, Manson’s drugs, and the expensive rehab for said drugs.

Manson has filed a countersuit against Gacy, claiming that he didn’t fulfill his contractual obligations to the band, even though their business partnership ended 11 years ago. Manson claims that Gacy didn’t properly promote the band.

Bier often showed up late for recording sessions, performances and promotional appearances, and handed confidential info over to the media and other outsiders without the band’s permission, says the complaint filed in L.A. Superior Court. When it became obvious in 1996 that Manson had become the group’s leader and focal point, he and Bier dissolved their business partnership, but the keyboardist continued to collect income from the group’s album royalties, concerts and merchandise sales, the suit says.

Bier played on all of the band’s studio albums except for this year’s Eat Me, Drink Me. Contracts spelled out Bier’s obligations to the band, but he “failed to render services to the best of his ability and in a practical and cooperative manner,” Manson claims.

[From E! News]

Well that was a lovely bunch of vague legal jargon. Somehow I don’t really side with either party in this whole affair. While it definitely sounds like Gacy might have gotten cheated out of funds, he did wait an awfully long time to do anything about it. Marilyn Manson definitely seems to feel that Gacy owes him a lot.

When he learned that Bier had gone after him in court, Manson told MTV News in denying the allegations that he had no idea why this was happening. “I don’t have an explanation for it,” the “Beautiful People” purveyor said. “It just seems like another ex-bandmember suing me and trying to assassinate my personality as a means to financial gain, and it just seems old. It’s just not fair. If I spent my money on anything, it was my family, and paying his salary for a year when we weren’t even touring.”

[From E! News]

So pretty much just the usual man-diva problems. I wonder if they had hissy fits in the dressing room, where they’d go all Liza on each other and throw crystal vases filled with roses. But let’s be realistic, it’s Marilyn Manson, so it’d be crystal vases filled with black roses. Or dead roses. Or taxidermied kittens. It sounds like most of Gacy’s argument isn’t focused so much on “he spent group money” as it is on “he spent group money on really creepy things.” And if you find just one bear lover on that jury, I guarantee you Gacy will win. Just like most trials.