This weekend, Twitter felt like it used to feel before Elon Musty took over and made it even more of a Nazi hellsite. By that I mean, the Jonah Hill story blew up and women, across the board, used the story to educate and have a larger conversation about emotionally abusive men. It was sad to see the universality of experiences – even if one woman hasn’t been with a man who tries to control her, isolate her and put out her spark, that woman has seen it happen to her girlfriends. Sarah Brady outed Jonah’s emotional abuse by posting his old texts, and the story was picked up by mainstream outlets too, like the Washington Post and Newsweek.
Unfortunately and predictably, there are too many men who are talking over women to mansplain how their abusive, controlling behavior is just normal relationship sh-t. The number of men casually outing themselves as A-OK with emotionally abusing and controlling women is pretty appalling. It was made worse by the fact that Jonah Hill apparently doesn’t see a problem with his ex-girlfriend showing the world just how he tried to control her, isolate her and abuse her.
Jonah Hill’s ex-girlfriend, Sarah Brady, shared a viral TikTok therapist’s message about the “misuse of the concept” of boundaries following her allegations that the actor was “emotionally abusive” throughout their relationship.
Brady, a professional surfer and model, unleashed a series of Instagram stories against the “Wolf of Wall Street” star, saying Hill was controlling, and would “manipulate” and “gaslight” her when they were dating from August 2021 til 2022.
In a unique coincidence, the “You People” actor is selling his brand of control on his own “Meaningful Existence” website, with “complete unrelenting control” merchandise.
You know what? I am making the choice not to unpack any of Jonah’s bullsh-t. I’m protecting my peace, in the same way I’m not even going to try to figure out the unethical bullsh-t of Jonah making a documentary about his f–king therapist. As many have pointed out – including Sarah Brady – Jonah went to therapy and all he did was learn how to weaponize therapy-speak and psychology to abuse people.
Jonah Hill’s clothing brand is selling “Complete Unrelenting Control” merch amid emotional abuse allegations from ex-girlfriend Sarah Brady. pic.twitter.com/WPmB5STl7X
— Pop Crave (@PopCrave) July 9, 2023
crazy how this jonah hill situation has so many men trying to insist that threatening to leave someone if they don’t comply with your demands is “having boundaries” when it’s literally just the most basic textbook level of abuse. all of you just telling on yourselves publicly lol
— faye (@fayemikah) July 9, 2023
I think it’s telling how many women are saying the Jonah Hill discourse is triggering memories for them & how many men refuse to see a commonality there & instead are supporting him. If all the women around you are telling you the same thing, maybe you should shut up & listen?
— The Sassiest Semite (@LittleMissLizz) July 9, 2023
Let me clear something up for the men of Twitter:
Jonah Hill wasn’t *actually* offering to leave the relationship. If Sarah Brady had agreed it was best to part ways, he would have changed tactics to try to get the outcome he wanted.
That’s how ultimatums in abuse work.
— Dr. Nicole Bedera (@NBedera) July 9, 2023
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Brady’s IG.
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- MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK, USA – DECEMBER 05: Actor Jonah Hill and girlfriend Sarah Brady arrive at the World Premiere of Netflix’s ‘Don’t Look Up’ held at Jazz at Lincoln Center on December 5, 2021 in Manhattan, New York City, New York, United States.,Image: 646576238, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady, Credit line: Jordan Hinton / Image Press Agency / Avalon
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- MANHATTAN, NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK, USA – DECEMBER 05: Actor Jonah Hill and girlfriend Sarah Brady arrive at the World Premiere of Netflix’s ‘Don’t Look Up’ held at Jazz at Lincoln Center on December 5, 2021 in Manhattan, New York City, New York, United States.,Image: 646576247, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Pictured: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady, Credit line: Jordan Hinton / Image Press Agency / Avalon
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- , New York, NY – 20211205-Premiere of Netflixt Look Up -PICTURED: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady -PHOTO by: ROGER WONG/INSTARimages.com Disclaimer: This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact INSTAR Images for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207. This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. INSTAR Images reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded For images containing underage children: Be advised that some Countries may have restricted privacy laws against publishing images of underage children. Inform yourself! Underage children may need to be removed or have their face pixelated before publishing Featuring: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady Where: New York, New York, United States When: 05 Dec 2021 Credit: ROGER WONG/INSTARimages.com
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- , New York, NY – 20211205-Premiere of Netflixt Look Up -PICTURED: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady -PHOTO by: ROGER WONG/INSTARimages.com Disclaimer: This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact INSTAR Images for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207. This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. INSTAR Images reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded For images containing underage children: Be advised that some Countries may have restricted privacy laws against publishing images of underage children. Inform yourself! Underage children may need to be removed or have their face pixelated before publishing Featuring: Jonah Hill, Sarah Brady Where: New York, New York, United States When: 05 Dec 2021 Credit: ROGER WONG/INSTARimages.com
I called his bluff and we broke up. Next morning I woke up to him pelting my window with pebbles until I let him in and agreed to talk. He manipulated me back into a relationship. We lasted another year after that of him constantly questioning if I was “the one for him,” despite not being willing to let me go. 25 years later this article is still bringing up bad feelings.
Same thing happened to me. He was trying to control me and used the “well if you’re unhappy then I’ll do you the favor of disappearing” and I replied “OK” and I naively thought we were done. I had a month of respite before he came back and it was with his usual drama (Jonah Hill would approve) and it just took one night out with friends for him to explode on me again although this time he tried to hit me and that was when I was DONE. He always tries to contact me but I think I’ve managed to block him for good.
Like Jonah, this guy tried to make me:
– change from my male personal trainer to a woman
– change my male gyno to a female gyno
– not walk around my work facilities because all workers are male
– not wear certain clothes
– only hang out with him
We lasted 6 months and I definitely learned not to make the same mistake twice.
Yeah, he was absolutely obsessed that every man was trying to sleep with me. I mean, I was 24 and at that age men are always feeling out whether or not you’re open to the sex, but it’s super controlling to try and stop you from having any other men in your life. First of all, trust the person you’re with and second, don’t insult the person you’re dating to be too weak minded to resist innocent flirtations from friends, coworkers, personal trainer. Being jealous of your gyno, though, that takes the cake. Your gyno would be risking their medical license, reputation, and by extension marriage and standing in the community being sexually inappropriate with you. Ladies, if your man is jealous of your gyno, get TF out!
I’ve liked reading your comments for a long time, Bettyrose, and I’m sorry you went through this. Thanks for sharing.
@BettyRose – yeah, the gyno one took the cake! He’s been my gyno since the age of 16 and the standard to which I hold all medical professionals.
The funny thing is that 90% of the time these men are not even trying to hit on us but just by looking at us men like Jonah lose it
I dated a guy who literally pulled that “I’m not sure” crap three times in two months. I was a different woman back then so I was willing to give him three chances, but I stuck with the third-strike-out that I had told him I would, and when he pulled that “not sure about us” for the third time, he was SHOCKED, SHOCKED I SAY! That I did not do the pick-me dance. Instead I put him on blast and told him to get effing therapy and stop dating until he did because he should stop putting decent women through his crap. His level of shock and dismay at what I said… LMAO. I still remember how powerful I felt when I told him I spoke only the truth… and then hung up on him.
It’s leading to another round of stories about toxic men too. Don’t want to threadjack so I’ll just say people should look up Alexa Nichols’s comments about Jonah (surprise! He’s a creepy perv) as well as Justin long and others. I’m hoping that story gets covered.
Can you post a link to comments?
Now I want to know about Justin Long. Darn, I thought he was one of the good ones. Off to unfollow him on IG.
There’s no evidence that Justin Long has done anything wrong. He was Hill’s roommate at one time so Alexa is assigning guilt by association.
@Mary
I tried posting the links twice and my comment doesn’t show up. Just google her name and it the first two articles that show up.
Alexa Nikolas
Jonah forcibly kissed Alexa at a party when she was 16 yo. Jonah was 24 yo. He knew she was only 16.
He’s a creep, he’s been a creep, he’ll always be a creep.
Also, that was 15 years ago. Imagine what he’s done in the past 15 years. I’m willing to bet there is some criminal sh!t that will be exposed by someone coming forward now that the dam broke.
He gives off creepy vibes. Always has.
Wow some people are really dumb.
If never fall for it, you won’t have to ever deals with it. Have self esteem!
Trying to understand, was this merchandise there before everything was posted, or is this some kind if terrible response?
Bad either way.
I think it was available before but it’s just taking on a whole new meaning now.
If those gross matching suits weren’t bad enough, note how her outfit makes her look a frumpy shapeless mess. You’d think he has bigger boobs than her. As approved by the “man” who doesn’t want anyone to see her body… It’s his grossness personified.
Who says he doesn’t have gynecomastia that would exceed hers?
Also, I love that the guys who buy that hat will literally have a sign on their forehead that lets women know to stay away. I hope that the hat stays for sale and every one who agrees with it wears it.
Also noted he’s exposing 50% more chest than her.
As we say here in the upper midwest, “ish.”
Wow. This is a particularly sore topic for me right now as we are supporting a family member in trying to get out of an abusive relationship. The abusive guy is currently (having been arrested and on pre bail conditions to NOT contact her or friends in any way) is trying to contact her and friends all over the place with classic ‘I’m so sorry’ and ‘I’m going to kill myself now’ messages.
What I am trying to get through to the family member is that he is NOT sorry and he has NO intention of killing himself – these are all textbook manipulation moves to make her feel bad and to sucker her into returning. This is really useful to illustrate multiple stories that show the patterns of abuse to help her see what he is doing from other women who are wonderful and did not deserve pieces of sh*t in their lives like this.
If someone (man, woman) threatens to kill themself if you leave, that’s your sign to LEAVE. Full stop. It’s not your fault, you’re not responsible, you are being manipulated. I have known both men and women who have done this to their partners and family members. GET OUT AND GET AWAY.
So true – it’s an absolute red flag.
Is someone says that they will kill themselves, you are not required to put yourself through extensive internal writhing to try to assess whether they meant it or not.
You can immediately call 911 dispatch and provide the exact quote so that the police can include it on the 5150 that they are authorized to write to provide contained transport to an emergency department where the possibly suicidal person can get additional assessment and help.
It provides the added benefit of summoning emergency responders to give you protection to leave, since leaving an abuser is one of the most physically dangerous things a woman can do. Even if they interview the person and decide not to write the hold, they will still be there long enough for you to get your bag and walk out without being assaulted. You also can tell dispatch you don’t feel safe hanging up until the police arrive.
One time I was working in the ER and a guy came in on a hold and said oh she just said lies after a (text) argument that’s why I’m here and how the hold got written.
Oh ok.
Then he said I could see the texts between him and her from right before and sure enough, he didn’t remember the texts about how she needed to care for his dogs after he killed himself.
He didn’t remember that part.
I can’t make that up. You could get me drunk and I still wouldn’t be able to make stuff like that up.
I’ll add that if someone is using suicide as a manipulation technique, they have homicidal tendencies as well. Be very careful and protect yourself. Learned that through experience.
It doesn’t matter if he’s actually sorry or serious about suicide. That’s not on your loved one to figure out. If the relationship is over, the abuser needs to work out their issues elsewhere.
@Bettyrose – very true. The problem is that he picked and groomed his victim well. She’s a kind, forgiving, lovely person who now feels bad about removing him from her life and worried that he will harm himself – which is exactly why he is doing it.
The more I read that list the more unhinged it becomes. He’s disallowing posting photos in a bathing suit?? And surfing with men? It’s a male-dominant sport but she somehow has to avoid all men when surfing? All of it is utter garbage.
He really put all of his insecurity right out there. What a little, little man.
This is a useful story for teaching about emotional abuse patterns, but on a more personal level I am croggled just trying to understand why a talented, beautiful woman would go for that cross between Disco Teddy Ruxpin and a Backstreet Boys audition reject. He cannot possibly be charming or funny enough to overcome his self-presentation.
Happy to help. Because in a world (especially celeb world) of greasy douche bros, this guy comes along and he’s smart, and charming, and makes you feel like the best version of yourself. He’s a relationship guy. He’s not a womanizer. In fact, you feel like he truly values and appreciates you. Now you’re in deep. You have feelings. Your identity has become linked to being with him. And you feel special.
Then, it begins. Subtle at first. Oh, your friend Jane doesn’t seem like she’s in your league. I think she’s jealous of you. And soon, you aren’t spending as much time with Jane.
Yes!!! This is EXACTLY how it happens.
And the ever popular and so effective: Your friend Jane made a play on me
I get it. He’s an Oscar nominated actor. He has money. He has crazy life experiences and stories. He’s apparently hysterical (JLaw said so). And he knew how to take that imbalance of power, love bomb her, weaponize it with therapy self-help jargon, and make HIM the victim to control her.
In reality he just has the opposite of BDE, LDE (little D energy). So small, so insecure. Such a tool.
The next thing we’ll hear is that he’s suing her for defamation of character. He has always given off creepy vibes.
Mary Madigan’s (news.com.au) take was a worthwhile read framing the problem so many of us are seeing with the faux feminist language and identifying gaslighting … https://www.news.com.au/entertainment/celebrity-life/celebrity-photos/jonah-hills-alleged-texts-reveal-a-bigger-issue/news-story/2483462f8bd253ab9a12da606a0abfb0
Yep, that nails it. Thanks for sharing!
Stories like this remind me that even on days when I struggle with loneliness I am still better off on my own.
Involved with a manipulative and controlling partner is not in any way a relationship.
It is abuse purely.
There’s a girl on Etsy selling “Absolute Uncontrolled Freedom” shirts and hats as a response LOL. If Kaiser allows me I’ll share the link or store name.
Please do if you can.
The store name is CoffeeandSloths!
I bought a keychain from her a while back and got the notification for these shirts and spent the next ten minutes laughing.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1506275128/absolute-uncontrolled-freedom-knit
Absolute Uncontrolled Freedom?? Amazing
I hope Sarah is ok 💕 🖖
Right?? I’m gonna share the link hopefully it’ll go through:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/1506275128/absolute-uncontrolled-freedom-knit
It’s not going to be a huge stretch for me to swear off any movie that features Jonah Hill. I already refuse to watch anything with Mel Gibson, and I’ll add this controlling man-baby to my personal veto list.
Ummm, he chooses to date a professional surfer and model, and then decides that his “boundary” is that she has to quit being a professional surfer and model??? Not only that but he frames it as moral outrage and superiority??? I am so tired…
I feel like more and more women are at zero tolerance for nonsense at this point. I know I am
I think part of the trip for certain guys is explicitly to take a talented woman and then just take her out of it bit by bit.
Then she’s like a stuffed hunting carcass above the fireplace.
^ THIS ^
I think that’s part of it. I think another part of the efforts to control and to transform women into trophies is to create dependency. Let’s say that the professional surfer and model actually did acquiesce to his demands. She might then be financially dependent, even as she’s lost important—and possibly protective— social relationships. Pregnancy is often used to create dependence and to justify controlling behavior as well. And, yeah, there are many, many social and cultural patriarchal “traditions “ that will support all of this.
Didn’t Ryan Adams do this to Mandy Moore?
@Blithe. This is so true. And the fact that he immediately got his next very young partner pregnant shows he is escalating.
You just described the mindset of those hu ters who book’trips to far-away places to hunt lions, etc…Take something beautiful and majestic and see if your unsignificant self can take it down.
I taught about it as one man that was the CEO of a company planning these trips has been found dead in south africa.
“Abel wanted a traditional marriage with a traditional wife. For a long time I wondered why he ever married a woman like my mom in the first place, as she was the opposite of that in every way. If he wanted a woman to bow to him, there were plenty of girls back in Tzaneen being raised solely for that purpose. The way my mother always explained it, the traditional man wants a woman to be subservient, but he never falls in love with subservient women. He’s attracted to independent women. “He’s like an exotic bird collector,” she said. “He only wants a woman who is free because his dream is to put her in a cage.” – from trevor noah’s born a crime
Oh Remy, I vomited a little when I read that.
I wouldn’t have imagined that any male would be able to articulate it that well.
_Exactly_. And down deep, they hate all women.
I just feel for so many women who are abused and gaslit by their partners. Then are abused and gaslit all over again by so many in the public. Let’s not discount the age difference in their relationship. He knew what he was doing and with this merchandise he continues to abuse her.
Absolutely. A woman his age wouldn’t have stood for that bullshit. She was 24 he was pushing 40.
The scariest part of how he wants her to change the stuff that attracted him to her in the first place. Essentially changing her entire personality and social circle.
That’s what really gets him off–making a desirable/accomplished woman change “for him.” Misogyny has a lot of masks, and stripping a “love object” of what makes her desirable is how these creeps show dominance–and punish all those women they could never have/turned them down.
Right after Keke Palmer’s boyfriend showed his true colours to the world, implying how much he wishes to control her and who interacts with her, we get this.
Patriarchy has really done a number on men, and the fact that there are even some women agreeing with Jonah Hill’s words is so depressing.
There seems to be a resurgence of Jonah Hill types lately. I read an article recently that some 40% of males between 18 and 34 admire Andrew Tate (the so-called *influencer* who was charged in Romania with rape and human trafficking of young women). How can this be happening in 2023? Is it the Trump effect? Appealing to the lowest common denominator of men to reclaim their toxic masculinity and treat women like chattels? Denying women’s rights over their own bodies by overturning Roe v Wade? They’re trying to legitimize the degrading and repression of women with psycho-babble and gaslighting, led by insecure bullies like Hill. This is so depressing…
White male supremacy must be upheld at all costs. The right wingers know they are losing women so they are brainwashing men into becoming violent so those men will control/mentally destroy as many women as possible. Scared/broken women are more easily controlled.
So yes, the propaganda used by the right wing elected officials/candidates has been seriously ramped up. Women must be shoved back into the kitchen and be available for sexual assault and beatings. They must be discouraged/prevented from voting.
The women of that movement are pick me girls who buy into the “you’re not like other girls” bullsh!t and desperately don’t want to be excluded from the proximity to power. They’ve been trained to hate all women because all women are their “competition” for male attention.
I just posted a comment on Sarah’s IG, a very simple comment that I believe her and seconds later I’m getting hate. So be warned if you try to support her. I say bring it on!
This Jonah Hill BS reminds me of all the non celebrity men I’ve met and dated who want a strong independent woman until they have one and then they absolutely lose their shit, spending the duration trying break or destroy the very spirit they initially admired.
All of this is forking terrifying. Hill and his role models: pitt and dicaprio. It will ends with another traumatized gerneration of young women in this year, in the next year (new younger gfs), in 2025 too and in 2026….. Neverending story, i’m afraid.
Maybe, maybe not. The young women I know, who aren’t in the celebrity world, have a much stronger sense of their identity than my generation ever did. They wouldn’t put up with this behavior for a single minute.
The comments section in Sarah Brady’s Instagram account is a hellscape of people defending Jonah Hill’s right to set boundaries and men complaining about “double standards”. One women commented that it made her angry because SHE actually was in an abusive relationship and this was not abuse. So many people find themselves trapped in these kinds of relationships because they don’t know about coercive control, emotional and financial abuse, thinking abuse must be physical to qualify. At the end of the day, a person (male or female) who is comfortable in their own skin and in their relationships, doesn’t need to exert control over others to feel empowered as a human being.
I’m sure there are plenty of men trying to set their own “boundaries” in her comments right now.
I just can’t get over the ship tattoo on his chest. Like Bluto from Popeye.
My impression too, he looks like an unkempt ship’s mate swabbing the decks. He just needs an eyepatch to complete the look.
I’m starting to wonder if there was more to his absence at his sister’s wedding then just having a baby. Like maybe they had a falling out or with someone who was there. Sarah Paulson doesn’t seem like one who would suffer any fools.
Recent post on Facebook.
“If your boyfriend asks you not to post a bikini picture ask him if that’s the Jonah Hill he wants to die on.”
😂😂😂
I just finished a book called Beautiful Disaster which I guess was supposed to be about intense love being so wonderful. But as I read it all I could see were the thousands of red flags the male was throwing up – possessive, drama , threats about what he would do to himself. Appalled that the author thought these were good things. Yikes
I truly do not understand how J does not see that demanding complete control is abusive. Or requiring complete control. I also don’t get why he can’t call it a boundary? Like, okay you’re boundary is complete annihilation of a woman’s soul. Good to know. My boundary is that I don’t date people who obsess about being controlled or being controlling. Either way, you’re a child emotionally. I don’t date children.
Well the merchandising says he either isn’t getting it or is fine with it and doubling down.
Not leading with this (editing it until later) says he does understand that it would have been socially unacceptable, ie she would have bailed fast.
Can you imagine? First date- hi I’m going to tell you to shun most of your industry peers and try to forbid you from professional activity. Where do you want to go for date number 2?
I was in a ridiculously toxic relationship before I even knew what toxic relationships were. Looking back on it now that it was 17 years ago that I got out of it, I am SOOOOOO glad I left. I think I was also groomed a bit, and it disgusts and angers me. It blows my mind that that was my life at one point. People really can be something, can they?
Didn’t realize JH was such an asshole until now.
I must say Hill’s look in this suit is completely revolting, ridiculous and pathetic. And no doubt his idea for them to wear matching suits. I can’t believe anyone is attracted to this obviously very insecure bully.
I just want to say I noticed today that Olivia WIlde was carrying the bag, “Complete unrelenting control” I wonder if it is a dig at Sarah. Gross,