Back in March, Gwyneth Paltrow went viral in the worst way – the youths suddenly figured out that Paltrow’s whole shtick is “disordered eating dressed up as wellness.” That’s all it’s ever been – starvation “diets” and ridiculous “detoxes” with the sole aim of staying thin. The youths called her an almond mom and declared that Gwyneth is “too rich to swallow vitamins.” The start of the March backlash was Gwyneth bragging about how she’s a recreational IV user – because she’s so vitamin-deficient, because she starves herself – and how she basically only eats bone broth most days, in-between exercising. Anyway, something to think about as you read Gwyneth’s wellness and beauty interview with British Vogue. Some highlights:

How she starts her day: “The first thing I do is get up. I do Ayurvedic oil pulling and tongue scraping, and then I brush my teeth. After that, I meditate with my husband.

How she works out: “I’m still a Tracy Anderson girl all these years later, it just works so well! It’s really kept my body looking a lot younger than it should. I also love to walk – I walk and walk and walk! Someone once said to me “walking brings the soul and the body together”, and I really believe that.

Skincare treatments she loves: “It’s funny, I used to get facials regularly, especially when I lived in London, with Anastasia Achilleos, but I haven’t seen her since before the Covid-19 pandemic. I really love a facial massage, [lymphatic] drainage and working the muscles, as opposed to lasers. I’m a little freaked out about using lasers on the face, and I’ve seen weird results on certain people. It feels risky. Once in a while, I’ll do a facial with red light for inflammation or something like that. We also sell the Lyma laser at Goop – it’s really good and gentle, so I’ll do that.

Her approach to getting older: “I think it’s culture’s problem [that women seem to be judged more on getting older than men]. It’s not ours! As women, we want to be healthy, we want to be ageing. This idea that we’re supposed to be frozen in time is so weird. I love it when I hear somebody like Andie MacDowell, with her beautiful grey curls, talking about embracing ageing and the difference between how we handle a George Clooney [compared to how most women are perceived]. It’s handsome to go grey [as a man], but for women it’s like, “What do you plan to do about your wrinkles and your ageing skin?” There’s definitely a double standard. But again, we want to be ageing! I think we want to be setting examples of how you can age. Every woman should do it how they want to do it. Some women want to address every single thing aesthetically, and some women want to be a fabulous French grandmother who doesn’t ever do anything. Everybody should be empowered to do it how they want to.

Her wellness treatments: “Nothing too crazy, you know, still the same [as before]. It’s funny. For so much of my life, I pushed the boundaries – people thought acupuncture and using a sauna was crazy, and now everything I use, everyone’s doing it. I don’t think there’s anything too “out there” [for me]. I’m very into my sauna and cold plunge pool, exercise, hydration… but nothing that’s considered cutting edge at this point. Now, everybody talks about all of this stuff!

She loves a bare face: “I don’t really wear make-up. If I’m going somewhere and I don’t have someone doing my make-up then I’ll do something very sheer. Ilia makes a really nice, sheer face oil with some tint in it and one of our Goop lip balms with a little colour in it. Sometimes some mascara, but very light. I’m a tomboy, you know?

[From British Vogue]

She… is not a tomboy? She just doesn’t wear a lot of makeup, but that doesn’t make her a tomboy. In case you missed it, not only did Gwyneth invent yoga, diets, detoxes, mask-wearing, oil-pulling and walking around outside without shoes, she also invented acupuncture, saunas and HYDRATING. Okay, maybe Gwyneth isn’t saying that she has invented all of those things, but she definitely wants credit for popularizing them and being a pioneer. A pioneer who made saunas cool. A pioneer who normalized walking outside. For real. And the “how she starts her day” answer sounds like someone doing a parody, I swear to God.

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Photos courtesy of Backgrid, Cover Images.