You may have heard the rumor that Michael Lohan, via Twitter, was threatening to kill himself. Rest assured, the esteemed Lohan family patriarch is alive and well, and assures various concerned media outlets that there’s someone out there on Twitter pretending to be him. Considering how out-of-this-world on-the-ball the Dina Lohan fake Twitterer was, it’s no surprise someone eventually pretended to be Michael. Really, the only surprising thing is that it took so long. Nonetheless, Michael is alive and well. Depending on your definition of “well.”

Michael Lohan doesn’t exactly have a history of verbal restraint, so when a Twitter account named @themichaellohan began writing snippets about family drama and wanting to jump off of the Brooklyn Bridge, entertainment bloggers across the Web figured it was the real deal. Thankfully, it seems the Tweets — like the one that read: “fiance just left me. my family hates me, i spent Thanksgiving with my mom i just cant do any of this any more” — were all bogus, and the father of Lindsay Lohan is still with us. All the Details After the Jump >>

Word of the alleged suicide pleas began to spread on Sunday evening, with sites like Gawker.com and AllieIsWired all jumping on the story. In the Tweets, which have since been erased from the Twitter page, “Lohan” said: “death of father put me in a black hole IDK what to do” and that he was “heading to the brooklyn bridge.” He even sent one to Lindsay’s Twitter account, writing: “@lindsaylohan, love you b ye.” To see all of the now-vanished Tweets, visit AllieIsWired.

[From PopEater]

I’ve got to say, while suicide is never ever funny, it is especially awful that the fake Twitterer sent that message to Lindsay’s real Twitter account. While Michael Lohan is fun to mock, at no point was this particular form of mockery funny or in any way appropriate. But can you imagine if you were Lindsay and you got that Tweet? That is so over the line, and maybe one of the few times I’ve ever had any empathy for Lohans.

Michael wrote to Shabooty.com:

This is not not not me. I do not have and never had a twitter and twitters corp office confirms that. My lawyers r investigating

[From Shabooty]

So that’s that. Looking for an appropriate way to mock a Lohan? How about Shoe-Han?

Screencap thanks to Allie Is Wired. Here’s Michael with former BFF Jon Gosselin playing with their man toys in Reading, PA on October 11th. Images thanks to INF Photo.