Valerie Bertinelli has been open about her struggle with weight and body image for many years. She’s spoken about realizing that she can’t find happiness just from losing weight, and she’s had her fair share of body-shamers on the internet. She’s responded to trolls in the past and called them out for being petty and cruel. Recently someone commented on one of Valerie’s TikToks, “the Botox looks great,” which was definitely meant as a snarky comment. So Valerie made a TikTok where she talked about why that type of comment hurts, and detailed her own experience with Botox. She had it before, but she didn’t like how it turned out. Valerie comes across so genuine and sweet, it just makes me more annoyed that people are coming at her for the apparent crime of aging as a 62-year-old woman.
The “One Day at a Time” alum posted a TikTok Sunday in response to a user who commented “The Botox looks great” on one of her prior videos.
The Food Network star interpreted the comment as sarcasm, but decided to switch gears by responding to the mockery with mindfulness.
“I know you didn’t mean that as a compliment, but let’s talk about it, shall we?” Bertinelli began. “I have tried Botox … I hated it.”
The “Hot in Cleveland” star then pulled up a photo of herself from six years ago when she did get Botox, and explained that the procedure “changed the shape of my eyebrows” resulting in her not recognizing her own face.
“What I thought it was going to do was help me with my genetically puffy eyes,” Bertinelli explained. “They’ve always annoyed me. I’ve always wanted those deep-set eyes. Don’t have ’em. Never going to get ’em. So, just live with it.”
But then Bertinelli got to the real reason why she wanted to talk about the comment.
“Because you’re trying to shame me, and you’re a woman. Like, what made you go out of your way to try to shame me?” Bertinelli said. “And I’m not the first person to try to be shamed on TikTok or Instagram or any place. So, we’re women. We have to stick together, OK? Don’t shame somebody if they want to do something, anything, to make themselves feel better as they go out into this insane, flippin’ crazy world, OK?”
She then shattered any kind of stigma surrounding cosmetic procedures by admitting that if Botox helped her feel better about her appearance, she’d use it.
“Some people can do Botox, and it looks amazing on them,” she said. “I am not one of them, unfortunately, or I would’ve kept doing it. But thankfully, it faded. I couldn’t wait for it to fade.”
I wonder who told Valerie that Botox would help with puffy eyes because that just seems like bad advice. Botox in the forehead will slightly lift the tail of the brow in many cases, but it won’t meaningfully change how your eye socket looks. Anyway, good for her for calling this person out. The stigma against women getting treatments like Botox is so annoying, and it does feel like women can’t win. If they age naturally, people shame them, and if they get professional help, people shame them.
As for the person shaming her being a woman, I’m not surprised at that. In my experience, women can shame each other worse than men sometimes. And I think women often shame each other because of envy, or because they feel threatened. I was raised in a very conservative church and I carried parts of “modesty culture” around with me even after I left the church. I’d never say anything to other women, but I would judge them in my mind for wearing revealing clothes, and it would bother me so much. I had to examine why I was getting so activated, and I realized it was because I envied them. I wanted to be seen, I wanted to be desired, I wanted to own my femininity like they were. And the culture I was raised in told me I was a deviant and a Jezebel if I wanted any of those things, so I suppressed a lot of stuff. Now I’m not triggered at all by other women wearing whatever the heck they want. In most cases when other women annoy me, it’s because they’re reflecting back something I haven’t accepted about myself. I think a similar dynamic is often at play when women shame each other for how they manage aging or treatments like Botox. Valerie has always looked great to me and I hope she doesn’t let mean comments get to her.
Valerie Bertinelli replying to @ lisaweiss711 [TikTok]
I couldn't hear it that well so I cranked up the volume and had to shorten it for twitter. [1/2] pic.twitter.com/yU7DdQqKZO
— aka stardust (@a_k_a_stardust) July 17, 2023
photos credit: Getty, Avalon.red and Cover Images
It’s nice to hear women talk about this stuff. I’ve been deep in beauty YouTube videos lately and considering botox on my wrinkly forehead. I’ve always had very arched and expressive eyebrows that I love. I’ll be taking Valerie’s input on board.
Less is always more when it comes to Botox and fillers. It sounds like her doctor went a bit overboard.
I like Valerie, in general.
I don’t know why she gets so much hate for her looks or weight.
And has had it thrown at her for decades.
It is a no win for females, no one looks the same at 60 as they did at 35. Life.
I wish more celebs would pushback on all the fillers, botox, plastic surgery.
Let everyone make their own choices.
Her son, Wolfie, carrying on the Van Halen musical name. I really wish him happiness. He was so close to his Dad. Van Halen still greatest rockers of their time!
OTOH, have you seen Lisa Rinna (Hamlin) and her new update to her lip fillers, holy cow!
Her Dr should refuse her as a patient.
I’m old enough to remember people talking about her weight in the 1970’s when she was on One Day at a Time.
Yes, and she was so young when it started. McKenzie Phillips (who played her sister) had an eating disorder and was also very young when the criticism started. My mother was very critical of me in every way and I had to leave home at 17 just to get away. It can really hurt, especially if you are not a tough person. Thank God, I was/am strong.
I can only do Botox on my 11s. I have had to learn to embrace my horizontal lines because the two times I tried to get of those, I looked shocked and like the Grinch who stole Christmas.
So instead I slather glycolic acid and whatever else everywhere and embrace the face that I am 40 years old and have forehead lines. I just don’t like the frown lines. I don’t mind looking my age, but I don’t like looking angry or irritated when I’m not haha.
The facial muscles and how they create movement can be really complex too. Like, I stopped getting Tox on my crow’s feet because I found that 1) those wrinkles don’t bother me much and 2) Tox there creates a more pronounced line UNDER my eyes. It’s weird. So yeah, only forehead for me…
People should just mind their own things and stop trying to police the way other people look and dress. I’m what they call a modest dresser, though not because of any religion, I’m just a huge prude and mega private about what I share and don’t share with the world. I don’t give a shit how anyone else dresses as long as it’s their own choice. We should free ourselves of judging others as it will liberate our own selves.
We’re not “all women” on social media. We’re anonymous posters with no emotional connection – the compulsion of the algorithm is to react and judge, not to show grace and empathy.
I’ve always liked Valerie. I find her very relatable and down to earth. I hope she finds peace and happiness in her life.
I don’t think most women will shame other woman for trying to look better, I think it’s mostly reserved for those who lie about it. It’s two fold, (1) the liars think the public is blind or dumb, and (2) it’s as if they’re pretending *other women* age, but not *them* because they’re just soooo genetically superior. If they’re honest, we actually admire them for the openess to discuss what this industry does to women.
Carina, thank you for sharing your own insight into your own thought processes! What a refreshing and uplifting thing to read. I’m a mental health provider (and a mental health services client lol) and that degree of insight takes so much hard work!
As for botox, I hate hearing the misinformation people are given to up sell cosmetic services. Botox gets rid of wrinkles and maybe lifts a little if done correctly but it does not correct puffiness or fill in the face. I have a similar face shape to Valerie (fun fact: I thought a pic of her on a magazine was my mom when I was little and kept pointing and saying “mama” because my mom looked a lot like her back in the day). With a heart-shaped face you need someone really good at botox because it can lower your brows significantly.
I will only do small amounts and with someone who is highly skilled. I’ve had a few times where my brow was so heavy that I went a year between treatments because it freaked me out. I live in Orange County, so we have a high concentration of the good clinicians, the bad, and the in-between.
I do not understand how anyone can be mean to the sweet, funny Goddess known as Valerie Bertinelli.