No one paid much attention to my coverage of Greta Gerwig’s NYT interview this week, but Gerwig told the Times that the well is dry and she’s not thinking of anything having to do with a Barbie sequel. A sequel feels inevitable though – the Barbie movie is just so successful and there’s so much room to play with that Barbie Cinematic Universe. My guess is that Warner Bros will eventually hire someone new to write and direct a sequel but they’ll bring in Gerwig to executive produce. And obviously, Margot Robbie is probably the key to it. In any case, Mattel is incredibly pleased with Barbie’s worldwide success and they’ll planning to make dozens of movies based on their portfolio of toys and games. Like, UNO: The Movie. For real. Some highlights from this bonkers Variety exclusive:

Mattel CEO Ynon Kreiz plans a full slate of toy-movies & Barbie sequels: With dozens of children’s toys on their film slate, 14 Mattel properties are in active development, including “Barney,” “Polly Pocket,” “Thomas and Friends” and “American Girl.”

Barbie sequels: “Barbie, as a brand, has many different iterations. The product lines of Barbie is a very broad brand. In addition to the main Barbie figure, she has family, she has a lot of elements around in her universe,” Kreiz told Variety. “It’s a very rich universe… It’s a very broad and very elastic brand, in terms of opportunities. At the outset, we’re not saying, ‘Okay, let’s think already about movie two and three.’ Let’s get the first one right and make that a success. And if you do that, opportunities open up very quickly, once you establish the first movie as a successful representation of a franchise on the big screen. Successful movies lend themselves to more movies. Our ambition is to create film franchises.”

A Barney movie: Producer: Daniel Kaluuya. The iconic purple dinosaur will inspire a live-action film that Mattel has previously described as an “A24-type” of “surrealistic” movie. Now, Brenner divulges a few more details, telling Variety, “I don’t know that it’s necessarily going to be darker. It’s just going to be unique — more of like a ‘Being John Malkovich’ or an ‘Adaptation,’” she says, referencing the 1999 and 2002 Spike Jonze films.“Any movie that has Barney is not certainly going to be straightforward,” Brenner adds. Referencing the Seth MacFarlane comedies, she quips: “We’re not making ‘Ted.’ You know what I mean?”

Polly Pocket: Studio: MGM, Star: Lily Collins, Writer/Director: Lena Dunham. The “Emily In Paris” star will star as the micro-doll in a family comedy written and directed by the “Girls” creator. Brenner confirms to Variety that there is a script, which she enthusiastically describes as a “great” script. “First of all, they are two of my favorite ladies ever,” Brenner says of Collins and Dunham. “It’s been an amazing collaboration. Lena is so collaborative and rolls up her sleeves and really likes to roll around in notes and listen. She’s incredible. Lily is so smart and so specific and so productorial. It’s just been an incredible collaboration, so we are thrilled about it. Hopefully, we’ll be making that at some point in the future.”

[From Variety]

Variety has a huge f–king list of all of their plans, including Hot Wheels (with JJ Abrams attached), Rock ‘Em Sock ‘Em Robots (Vin Diesel), American Girl, Magic 8 Ball, Masters of the Universe, Major Matt Mason (Tom Hanks, Akiva Goldsman), UNO, Wishbone, View Master and on and on. Barbie’s success really opened Pandora’s Box when it comes to toy companies believing that every f–king toy needs a movie. I don’t even recognize some of these toys either.

People have a lot of thoughts about Lena Dunham doing a Polly Pocket movie… and I get it, it’s a terrible idea, even though I sort of like Lily Collins. But don’t give that kind of project to Lena Dunham, my God.

Greta Gerwig realizing she accidentally paved the way for Lena Dunham’s “Polly Pocket” movie https://t.co/1yltUf43ch pic.twitter.com/WyVBXyJ2eb

— Drew Landry (@MrDrewLandry) July 26, 2023

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Backgrid.