Radar Online points us to this very funny Golf Digest cover for the upcoming issue. It was of course photographed and laid out well before the Tiger Woods scandal, and is unintentionally hilarious and ironic on several levels. First, there’s the photo. This ties Obama and Tiger together during a major controversy for the formerly squeaky-clean golf champ. Given recent world events, I’m struck with how much Obama and Tiger have in common. They both have carefully cultivated public images that don’t seem to jibe much with reality.
There’s also the pose that’s shown of the two looking like they’re waiting for a ball to sink. For those of us who don’t golf, it could seem first like Tiger is about to smack Obama on the head with the putting green flag stick. (I had to look up what this was called.) When I first saw this photo I really thought that Tiger looked kind of menacing behind Obama because he’s looking down like he’s ready to strike.
Of course there’s also the title of the cover story: “Ten Tips Obama Can Take from Tiger.” What would those tips be? How about:
1. When choosing a mistress, don’t pick a NY party girl with talkative call girl friends – credit to Kaiser
2. Scan VH1’s reality programming for the classiest girls – credit to Kaiser
3. Don’t ever sleep with anyone with Gloria Allred’s phone number – credit to Kaiser
4. Open the door when the police are knocking
And here are some that I’m lifting from the commenters on Radar:
5. If you are fighting with your wife at 2:30 a.m. and you want to leave; call a taxi. – credit to lansinghannah02
6. If you have golf clubs hide them where only you know where they are. – credit to lansinghannah02
There are at least four tips missing, so please come up with your own in the comments.
Tiger has been issued a fine and ticket for reckless driving for his accident on Friday. He’s already paid the $164 dollars, but the resulting scandal and all the alleged mistresses who are coming out of the woodwork are sure to cost him much more.
If you are a billion dollar sports star, DON’T GET MARRIED SO YOUNG i.e before the age of 65! You still need to exorcise all the girls from your system, then you can settle down when your libido is lower and you are used to being such a mega star.
Ooooh. The voicemail is up. Come on, that’s not real panic in his voice.
Here’s a tip: If you’re having an affair and you’re name is iconic as “Tiger”, make up a nickname for yourself to use when leaving messages so it’s not so identifiable. Might I suggest John?
I have no respect for a cheater, and I hate abusive people, but in an odd way I feel very sorry for this family and the situation that they are in. Having your spouse or significant other be unfaithful to you and finding out is bad enough, but having it all play out for millions of people to see and judge has to be just agonizing.
The truly sad thing about this is that Tiger had a good thing going: An attractive wife, an historic career, oodles of money, two lovely and healthy children, and the respect and admiration of many fans and non-fans of golf. He threw that all away by being a dog, and then his wife has made it worse by her actions.
I would be shocked if this didn’t impact his game in the long run. He may have nerves of steel, but this situation, being so embarrassingly public, might affect him on the golf course. The situation is sad for everyone, especially the children.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Hydrant.
Movie sequel.
@ Tess: I just snorted tea all over my monitor! Thanks for the LOL anyway…made my morning.
@Tess – HILARIOUS!!!!! Cracking up right now…or, LMAO…ROFL?? Too funny.
Unintentionally my ass. It looks like Tiger is riding and whipping him, and I don’t see how anyone could have put that together unintentionally.
I read this somewhere else but the name Cheetah Woods seems a little more fitting
I don’t see how Obama’s “carefully cultivated public image” doesn’t jibe with reality or the relevance of the comparison… are you suggesting Obama has something to hide?
It’s a poorly done photochop job on the cover, they’ve stuck Tiger’s head and arms on Steve Williams’ body.
And BTW, they’re not waiting for a ball to sink, they’re looking at the run of the green and lining up their shot.
@Feebee
They are not suggesting that Obama is a closet cheater, but that Tiger is not in a position to give advice considering his current predicament.
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