I think being a rockstar would be great, it’s still on my career ambitions list. Right under supermodel. I’m not sure how old I have to be before I give the rocker dream up (supermodel ambitions died as I left my teens) but I’m guessing 75. I’m looking to Mick Jagger for advice.

While there are many great perks to the rockstar lifestyle, the experience must have less meaning if you can’t remember it. Case in point: Ozzy Osbourne.

68-year-old Ozzy has recently been paid a £1 million advance to write his autobiography, due for release in May 2008, but it seems he can’t remember enough stories (and I suspect chronological order is also a problem for him) to actually write the book.

‘I cannot imagine the book being ready in 5 months, because so far Ozzy hasn’t written anything – he hasn’t even got a ghostwriter yet,’ a pal tells the Daily Star.

‘So it is going to be some time before the book actually appears, if it ever does.’

Ozzy recently confessed his powers of recollection aren’t fanastic.

‘My memory isn’t what it used to because of the drugs and alcohol I’ve been living on for the best part of my adult life,’ he said. ‘I often get asked, “Is it true you snorted a line of ants?” Knowing me, there’s a very good possibility. But do I remember it? No way.’

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This is a real shame, because beyond the notorious bat biting incident I’m pretty sure Ozzy would have some great rock ‘n’ roll tales to tell. Apart from the simple stories of drink and drugs, I’d love a detailed breakdown of what was actually going through his head as he bit the head off a live bat. And a live dove. And killed the family’s pet cats. Is PETA onto this man?

Unfortunately, I doubt Ozzy could give me a clear idea of what is going through his head right now, let alone during his time with Black Sabbath, but hopefully he’ll get a great ghostwriter. His wife Sharon has written an autobiography, can’t she help?

Picture note by Celebitchy: Ozzy Osbourne is shown performing at Whembley Arena on 6/19/07, and with his wife Sharon on 7/28/06 at the launch of their t-shirt line. The also auctioned off many personal items earlier this month including cars and furniture to benefit Sharon’s colon cancer charity. Thanks to PRPhotos for these pictures.