You know someone is a terrible actress when you don’t even believe them in still photos. Such it is with Kate Beckinsale. She’s been on my sh-t list ever since she left her dog in a completely closed car for hours, but I’ve never really loved her. For a brief moment, for like a week, I was all “maybe she’s not that bad.” But she is. In film after film, you can see what a God-awful actress she is. And now she’s brought her patented “No Method Just Open Your Mouth and Think of Particle Physics” brand of acting to some craptastic Absolut Vodka ads.
I guess I’ll give Kate credit for something – she has a great body. She has nice hair too. But other than that, I kind of think she’s a waste of space. But good hair and a good body was enough to get her named as Esquire’s reigning Sexiest Woman, and now she’s the face of a major liquor brand. I still don’t get why a company like Absolut would choose her for the face of their brand.
It’s hard to choose my favorite among these three ads… probably because Kate has the exact same expression in each one. Look at that – same open mouth, same poorly-acted “sexily surprised” look. The only difference is the position of her head. One to the right, one to the left, and one full frontal. No… I think my favorite is the red one. I like Kate’s horribly acted mime with her hand up – like she’s “indicating” that there should be something in the frame besides her dumb face. This sh-t is epic.
Absolut ads, photographed by Ellen von Unwerth, courtesy of Huffington Post.
i think they’ve photo shopped fat on to her. she’s so skeletal in candid photos yet in the gold bikini photo her torso looks almost healthy
Spot on – badly-acted even in a still shot. She doesn’t even look sexy in these! Unimaginative poses, too, and her upraised hand in that red photo just looks deformed. To think these are the BEST shots they could get of her – wow. I’d scrap the idea and get a better actress or model to salvage the thing.
Those really are hilariously bad. Either it’s karma, or Absolut’s art director really loves dogs.
Meh, not overly impressed by any of them.
If you pay a celebrity millions of dollars to endorse your product, you want that celebrity to be recognizable in the ads. If I didn’t know this was her, I would flip past the green ad in a magazine and not even realize it wasn’t just some random model.
You should publish the Zooey Deschanel ad for Absolut Vodka, it’s much cuter and she totally pulls off the cute, kitsch look!
http://www.egotastic.com/image?path=0912/zooey-deschanel-absolut-04.jpg&info=Zooey%20Deschanel%20Absolut%20Vodka%20Pictures
I agree Lizzie, why get a celeb when no one can recognize them? And she’s pretty but there’s nothing unique enough about her that you’d instantly know it was her.
She’s never been sexy because she tries too hard. That and I’ve always gotten a bitch vibe from her. These pictures are really bad.
I’ve never liked her in anything else, but I enjoyed the first Underworld. Probably mostly because I totally envied her butt in those leather pants.
I’m with everyone else, apart from the gold one in the middle, I can’t even tell it’s her. Maybe in a close-up in the red one, but the green one is bad, bad.
What’s with Absolut? Just looked at the Zooey one (is she even old enough to drink?) and while I only know her from that godawful cotton ad, I don’t recognize her either.
Zooey was Mark Wahlberg’s wife in “The Happening,” a God-awful Shamalamadingdong movie.
I think this is also another example of bad photography and art direction. The ideas are so stale.
It’s the same thing I was saying about Britney’s Elle photo spread. I blame the photographer and art directors for just not being very interesting. And for probably saying to Kate OVER and over “just open your mouth a little more, ya, that’s good!”.
Sudini – The ideas are so stale? What in the hell are the ideas? I seriously don’t get it – the ads mean zilch to me. ???
Wow. I thought it was Katy Perry in those cotton commercials, until this moment. Now I gotta go look at pix of the two of them side by side so I can figure out who’s who. Sheesh…
😛
This is nothing compared to this terrible terrible terrible video she did for Esquire when thet named her the sexiest woman alive. http://www.esquire.com/the-side/video/sexy-kate-beckinsale-video
And I thought it was Cheryl Cole on those pictures at first!
Anna: I thought that was Paris Hilton until I noticed she didn’t have the wonky eye.
The first Kate pic in green, I thought it was Lady Gaga.
Am I the only one here when I say these pictures do not make me want to buy this product?
Yadira, I’ll give you another reason! Those flavored vodkas taste like syrup. Not the good mapley kind, but cough syrup.
I’ve tried the raspberry and lime and they were awful no matter what I put with them.
I never cared for Kate, but after that incident with her dog, I started to dislike her very much. She doesn’t even have acting talent to make up for her crappy personality.
And, I wonder how Kate became this “sexy” person, because she’s no natural beauty. She has work done everywhere. I remember seeing an old picture of her in the 90s, before all the cosmetic treatments and plastic surgery, and thinking she was a very funny looking girl, to say the least.
i liked her in Cold Comfort Farm. after that it was all downhill.
This is a beautiful campaign, very well done, perfectly art directed, each scene tells a story about the drink, makes sense, accomplishes the objective. Ellen is an INSANLY talented photographer. And Kate and Zooey are completly hot. Haters. There’s a reason these people are all famous, and you are sitting on your couch, getting even fatter, watching soap operas and judging people you have never met.
Jean: I know there’s a reason they’re famous and I’m not but I promise you, if I ever meet an influential Hollywood producer, I’ll get on my knees and suck for England just like Kate did and then I’ll be a famous crappy actress just like her.
Kisses!
Through surgery or not, I’ve always thought she was very pretty. But I don’t like her anymore after the dog story, and I think the ads are stupid – I agree with the comments saying if you can’t recognize the celeb in your ads, why bother hiring them?
Lenore. Kate speaks three languages and went to Oxford, and started acting when she was 16. But of course all unattractive woman think thats how hot woman become successful.
Budget Liz Hurley
By the way, Jean, in her case poliglotism and university matriculation still don’t a good thespian make. Perhaps she can translate some Gogol for me, though.
I actually like the 1st ad, the green one. I think the art direction, the vibe, and the atmosphere in it is spot on.
I’ve been told that a good photograph gets your attention with a main focus, then lets your vision wander across the image in an almost circular pattern. That’s exactly what it acomplishes. You notice her first, than how the green fruniture blends, then the record player. So you can project your own story. Although it did remind me of Gaga.
The other two are predictable and kind of…meh.
I don’t know much about this woman, but any person who leaves their dogs in a car for more than a few minutes garner my immediate disdain. Right now my little puppers is snuggling with me, pretty sure he feels the same way.
LOL ViktoryGin!! You’re awesome.
So she can speak three languages…Go over to Europe and you will find several people that speak four or five. That has nothing to do with her horrible acting.
She is nothing great…she does have a pretty body and pretty hair but so does a kajillion other Hollywood stars that are talented. I’ve always found her face rather long and pointy.
They should’ve just hired a “nobody.” Oh…wait. They did.
I think CB should make a new rule: If you accuss someone of being fat and jealous you are banned from the site FOREVER! 🙂
Kate, er I mean Jean, we understand you like her but let’s not get into insulting others personally because of the obsession you have with Kate.
“She’s been on my sh-t list ever since she left her dog in a completely closed car for hours, but I’ve never really loved her.”
’nuff said.
She’s too good to do that last Underworld but she’s not too good to do this? Whateves! So over her and her snootiness!
I have nothing against her (except the dog in car incident), but I can’t really recall anything noteworthy she’s been in. I certainly think she’s attractive, but not much of an actress. I too was confused by Esquire’s decision because I assumed they picked an actress who was “hot” at the moment. Does she have a movie coming out or something or did they pick this year’s winner out of a hat?
“Who is this woman?….Kate Beckinsale? Well, you can tell Kate Beckinsale she sucks.”
whatevs— FTW!
Best… Twitter account… EVER!
those who don’t like kate beckinsale you may not like her because your animal f*c3rs lik peta, she may left her dog wherever she wants the time she wants, she’s hot she’s talented and this bloger is a subjective byoch.