Prince William and Kate have never demonstrated an ability to speak off-the-cuff about the issues they seemingly care about – they just show up somewhere and pose or do some kind of asinine skit for ten minutes and then it’s back to doing f–k all. When they want to appear normal, the palace literally has to organize “look at us, we’re so normal” photo-ops and even then, William and Kate appear stilted, ill at ease and (occasionally) drugged. So it was with William’s trip to the Billion Oyster Project on the East River. The New York Times wrote about William’s visit very carefully and seemingly without the input of the coterie of royal reporters tasked with embiggening him. Here are the relevant parts of the Times piece:

Wearing a fluorescent orange life preserver and rubber gloves that reached his biceps, Prince William waded — ever so carefully — into New York’s East River. A minor slip might have been embarrassing. A splash? Nothing short of an international incident. It had been raining since early morning. Damp onlookers watched the prince toss a few juvenile oysters in a bucket, then wade through waist-deep water until he reached the shore.

The prince arrived on a silver T-boat, a 28-foot long passenger vessel. He was accompanied by security personnel with life vests layered over their navy blue suits. Around 3:30 p.m., he walked into a tennis court-size enclosure to the southeast of the island, where he was surrounded by mounds of oyster shells up to eight feet high.

By 4 p.m. the prince was whisked on a blue-and-white golf cart to Pier 101, where the same boat was waiting to carry him to Brooklyn Bridge Park. He maneuvered down a narrow, slippery gangway to the dock.

Lasting just over an hour, the prince’s visit was hushed, orderly and tightly choreographed… Prince William, who was kept carefully beyond earshot of reporters, could not be asked for comment.

Emma Brech, 22, a student who lives in Long Island, had traveled to Governors Island before dawn, hoping for a glimpse of Prince William. The prince’s attention to the climate crisis “gives me more hope for the future,” she said. As it rained for hours, with no sign of the prince, Ms. Brech huddled under an umbrella printed with the Union Jack. Her patience was rewarded when Prince William waved to her briefly on his way off the island. “Selfie?” she called out. No response.

[From The NYT]

Surprised he didn’t respond with “no thanks, I’m just here for a very carefully choreographed stunt.” The man was there for an hour, he performed his little oyster photo-op, photos were dutifully recorded and that was it. Just… nothing. There’s no there there. Something else I’ve noticed is that William is being very loud about his trip in the British media, but he’s actually trying to fly-under-the-radar in New York. Or maybe he just has no idea how to organize an exciting visit which would draw authentic attention to his issue. He thinks he can just say “I’m important, pay attention to meeeeee.”

Photos courtesy of Cover Images.