As a blogger who has been on the “Dane Cook is a creep who started dating a 17-year-old when he was 44” beat for years, it’s always pretty wild to watch random people learn that news, years after the fact. Dane Cook isn’t hiding it! He’s tried to normalize for six years, brushing over the fact that he met a then-17-year-old Kelsi Taylor during a party at his house, where seemingly someone had brought Kelsi to the party… a party full of mostly 30-somethings and 40-somethings. This story has never been good. This story has never been anything other than creepy. Well, in August 2022, Dane and Kelsi announced their engagement – he was 50 and she was 23, and they’d been together (officially) for five years. He even spoke about how he couldn’t wait to impregnate her. HORK. Well, they got married. Six years after they started dating, they had their wedding in Hawaii. People had an extensive write-up with exclusive details, here are some highlights:
His fitness instructor: The comedian and actor, 51, said “I do” to his fitness instructor fiancée Kelsi Taylor, 24, on Saturday at a private estate in O’ahu, Hawaii, in front of 20 guests. “We chose Hawaii because it has such a special place in our hearts and our relationship,” Cook tells PEOPLE. “It was one of the first trips we ever went on together and we continue to go back often. It’s such an oasis, and we couldn’t be more excited to have spent our wedding week surrounded by the beauty of Oahu.”
The vibe: Cook says: “We envisioned something that was more along the lines of a gathering of our closest family and friends,” he says of the celebration, which included a welcome BBQ, and a night out at a jazz bar, plus a pool party and beach day. “Something intimate, connected, and filled with fun. We decided to do a full week vacation with a wedding right in the middle, and we wouldn’t want it any other way! Nothing better than spending this special time with all of our favorite people.”
Kelsi’s gown: For her walk down the aisle, Taylor wore the “Solstice Gown” from Grace Loves Lace which she paired with the “Grace” veil and clear heels from Amina Muaddi. “It was one of the first dresses I tried on, and I immediately fell in love with it,” she says. “There’s just something about the simplicity and comfort of it and the beautiful stitching design and detail. So happy to have found this gem!”
The vows: “We went for traditional vows — because to be perfectly honest, I had a feeling that Dane would totally outshine my speech,” she says with a laugh. “He has the best way with words, and I knew I wouldn’t even be able to match up to his delivery. I also really just wanted to keep our more intimate vows private and to give him a handwritten letter the morning of.”
The wedding food: Guests were greeted with fresh coconuts at the table and dined under “dreamy” string lights as ’80s music played all night. “We both grew up listening to the ’80s and it’s such a massive part of our life! We’ve always bonded over it,” says Taylor. Dinner by Memoirs Hawaii included wedge and local green salads with a yuzu honey dressing, seared beef tenderloin and roasted carrots. For dessert, cake options from A Cake Life and Erin McKenna’s Bakery included vegan, gluten-free vanilla and traditional vanilla cake. They also had a dessert bar with chocolate strawberries and mini donuts. “Because you can never have too many desserts on your wedding day or ever,” says Taylor.
I’m sorry, Kelsi “grew up” listening to ‘80s music?? Chica was born in 1998. She “grew up” listening to Britney, Pink, Justin Timberlake and MAYBE Norah Jones. Now, Dane Cook absolutely grew up listening to Hall & Oates and Michael Jackson. As for the rest of their wedding details… the only part I liked was the stuff about desserts. They had a gluten-free option, but also a real cake and tons of other desserts. That’s great. The other stuff… well, I hope Kelsi got the wedding of her girlhood dreams and… yeah, we’ll see. This is a gigantic mess. (The first comment I saw on People Mag’s Instagram was “from groomer to groom” and I CACKLED).
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Instagram.
Hopefully she has a generous pre-nup and he treats her well. But I won’t be shocked when fifteen years and three kids in he divorces her for someone her current age or younger.
Nope, not at all.
I think the most disgusting part of this is that People covered it. By presenting this wedding between a man in his 40s who began dating an underage teenager and then married her when she is barely an adult and he is in his 50s, they are the ones normalizing this behavior.
And, since we know the media shapes perceptions of trends, this even makes it into some kind of fairytale wedding little girls should want for themselves.
I’m sure they paid for the privilege of access to the photos and story too.
Ugh. People has sunk so low. I hope they have some shame.
She literally says he’s better with words. Yeah, girl, I can imagine he’s better with words and persuading you and planting ideas in your head… Ugh. Creep
Gross
Poor girl
RUN
His eyebrows tilt up so much that he has a serious villain face.
Bad face work?
Overdone Botox eyebrows. I sometimes refer to them as “bat” eyebrows, because they look like a bat. I also sometimes refer to the giant smooth V on the Botox forehead as the Mons Pubis.
He looks like an evil clown. Without the makeup.
If I squint he reminds me of Mickey Rourke, which is not a compliment. He is old for her AND looks repulsive.
…before he messed with his face, Mickey Rourke was gorgeous
@Ana Maria He really was. Dane Cook should be so lucky. Between the hair and the brows, and well, everything, he looks like he’s making fun of himself.
Evil Mr. Spock
To quote Bette Midler in the iconic First Wives Club, on the subject of whether someone had work done: “Honey, he’s a quilt!”
I believe the story goes that she was brought to the party at groomer’s house BY HER DAD.
I do wonder if/when she will wake up and realize she gave her youth to a large child who she has finally outgrown. And gets the heck out.
Makes sense because in some of these photos, I feel like I’m looking at father and daughter. I always laugh a little (and cringe, too–LOTS of cringing) when I see these men who don’t understand (or care, I guess) how ridiculous and pathetic they look. I just hope she gets a comfortable life out of this marriage because sheesh.
I’m glad People didn’t describe it as a ‘fairytale wedding,” because this shit is a nightmare.
BARF!
They will divorce within 5 years. Mark my word. Once Kelsi hits her 30s, she will be out the door.
I really hope so. That and having enough money for a good therapist to help her figure herself out.
From groomer to groom is right on point.
My bet is after the first child he will start looking for replacement.
I feel bad for her, she hasen’t been given a chance to live because that man has had his grip on her. Look at that Boebert chick, she married her groomer and she’s a gross f!cking mess. I hope that doesn’t happen to Kelsi, but she WILL be affected by his abusive grooming.
Healthy men don’t date teenagers. This will not end well.
**HEALTHY MEN DON’T DATE TEENAGERS**
Thank you Canadi-Anne.
What a magical choice to choose music from the ‘80’s which was reminiscent from Drew’s own CHILDHOOD and yet was viewed as “the oldies” from his groomed bride……🤢🤢🤢🤢🤢
I have a 16 year old absolutely obsessed with 80s music, so age does not necessarily have a bearing on musical tastes. I am a child of the 80s and my daughter knows the music better than I do.
But how gross and unfortunate that this entire young woman’s adult life has been tied to Dane Cook.
@Canadi-Anne No, they do not. Like any fetish or disorder, these guys are into the “youth” part—the person is often interchangeable (see Leo). I hope she will one day realize exactly what he did.
Kelsi, blink twice if you need help!
Someone slip her Katie Holmes’ father’s phone number. She may need a similar extraction.
at random- i don’t think enough is said about how beautifully Katie Holmes played that extraction of herself and her daughter from a scary cult. It really was impressive. She knew what would happen if $cientology got their hands on her kid- she had seen how they poisoned Kidman’s kids against her.
I believe the cult starts indoctrination at 6 or 7. And Katie knew what that meant and made her decision and went for it.
AGREED! And it’s the one celebrity story I’d PAY to know what happened and how everything went down.
Not just Katie’s escape but Scientology is notorious for harassing ex-members. Yet the cult and Tom Cruise have left her alone. No mention, no smear campaign, nothing.
What transpired that made the cult back off? What does Katie have on them/Cruise?
Her escape has always sounded like it executed with the precision of a CIA mission.
Same!!! If anyone has links to some really good play by play articles from that time, please drop them! I kind of paid a little attention at the time but not enough. It’s really wild. She now lives my nyc dream.
He’s a disgusting youth vampire… I hope Kelsi wakes up and gets out.
Love the “from groomer to groom”
comment, so spot on.
This is just sad. I so wish I could send her a copy of the book I’m reading now; Consent Laid Bare by Chanel Contos. She deserves so much better.
Did her daddy walk her down the aisle to “give” her away? Any kids they conceive deserve a far better father than this groomer. I hope something opens her eyes to his repulsive emotional deficiencies before she loses too many more years of her youth. What kind of parenting did she receive, given that sticking with this creep has been her favored choice since age 17?
they look like father and daugther, gross…
I’m mid 40s, I can’t imagine looking at a SEVENTEEN YEAR OLD that way. My friends have children that age. It’s gross.
@lucy2: Same – there is no way I could look at HIGH SCHOOLER that way!
Umm…why is People magazine covering, and therefore romanticizing and normalizng, this tragic groomer situation?
@wordnerd – It is not a great look.
But this is how People operates – just last night, I saw a post mentioning that Jerry Seinfeld had dated a teenager when he was in his 30s. And there was an old clip from People, cheerfully reporting on a grown man picking up his GF from high school.
I know times have changed, but even then this must have been gross.
Seriously. WTF People?
I have nothing to add to how horrific this is, it isn’t even gross it’s just upsetting. So I’ll just say I highly doubt she grew up listening to Britney, who was a big deal when she was born. Unless her mom was a Britney fan, she’s the generation that grew up listening to Miley Cyrus.
I don’t care how ‘old’ a teenage girl OR teenage boy looks, talk to them for 10 seconds and you will know they are a teenager. He knew what he was doing when he started dating her.
Replace ‘dating’ with grooming….
I was happy to read comments on People’s social media basically calling him a predator and a groomer, which is what he deserves.
There are ways for child molesters to function legally I guess
Is he trying to distract us from being a creep with really bad cosmetics? He needs to take that face back to where he got it and get a refund yikes.
The subtext to having an intimate 20 person guest list might be that many of their social circle weren’t down with a child bride.
Totally agree!
In more or less all of the photos she is leaning away and he in….
I HATE her body language, always leaning away from him. She seems so uncomfortable and smothered.
someone get that girl Courtney Stodden’s number
I can’t get over how disgusting this is. Did I read correctly that her father is a friend of Cook’s? Father of the year right there, if so. Just wow.
It’s absolutely plausible that she grew up listening to 80s music… because her parents are the same age as Cook. Congrats to the bride and groomer, I guess. Hope she gets out before he knocks her up.
I hope he has a lot of money and gives her a lot of it when this marriage hopefully breaks up. I guess there are worse fates. I also hope she shops a lot, has a lot of girlfriends and goes on solo vacations with them.
He looks like her dad.
All over the internet I keep coming across the fact that these two met when she was 15 (!) for the first time and started dating when she was 18. From “groomer to groom” is viciously accurate. I’m also caught up on what she does for a living: she’s his fitness instructor. So, Kelsi’s dad introduced her to Dane and she not only married him, but also works for him. This situation has a bleep-ton of red flags, and if she wants to, escaping DC is going to be extremely difficult given how intertwined their lives are.
He has a GIANT head. That’s all I’ve got.