It’s been a little while since we’ve slammed on Heather Mills. And it’s really not fair to let Britney hog all the crazy, much as she might like to. Heather Mills is one of those crazies that you can’t help but root against, and feel a little bit of smug satisfaction when nothing goes her way. And given the way the crazy, sanctimonious, delusional Brit behaves, I’m often left feeling pretty satisfied. Though she’s turned down multiple large settlement offers from estranged, soon-to-be ex-husband Paul McCartney, Mills may soon find herself in the poorhouse. She “mutually” parted ways with her legal team last month, after she went on a round of television shows bashing McCartney and saying she wanted to kill herself due to the way everyone treats her. She’d racked up a $4 million legal bill with her former divorce lawyers Mishcon de Reya. Heather had agreed to pay $200,000 a month towards the bill once she got her settlement, but now the legal team is in the process of writing a writ to make her pay up immediately. They’re afraid that her outlandish spending and stubborn/delusional personality will leave her with little or no settlement from Sir Paul, and that she may burn through whatever she does get on designer clothes and security guards.

But here, perhaps, is the nub of it all. For while Heather may have celebrated the festivities at her large £3.25 million country mansion, she is all too aware that the rug is coming close to being pulled from under her, while her soon-to-be ex-husband still has his £850 million fortune firmly in hand.

A writ from her former divorce lawyers Mishcon de Reya for an unpaid bill of £2 million is the tip of the iceberg. There is, say sources, an ever-growing overdraft of £1 million at the exclusive Coutts bank. She has weekly outgoings of more than £5,000, with next to no money coming in. Friends say the only way she can pay the legal bills is by selling the nine-bedroom house in East Sussex — paid for by her ex-husband so he could be close to their daughter.

What’s more, she is beginning to realize that instead of the £50 million figure it was first estimated she could get from Paul’s fortune, she will now be lucky to get £10 million. And at the rate she is spending, that will not last more than a couple of years.

[From the Daily Mail]

Apparently Heather thought that her appearance on “Dancing with the Stars” would make everyone fall in love with her, and she was counting on a financial windfall. I’m not sure how someone with such an extreme personality disorder has gotten as far in life as Heather Mills has. While she clearly has narcissistic personality disorder, I can’t help but wonder if she has her own special brand of delusional personality disorder. I know it’s not an official mental illness, but I’m pretty sure they should make it one.

Meanwhile, Heather’s plans for making money of her own have also backfired. Anticipating a rash of offers after her appearance on Dancing With The Stars, America’s version of Strictly Come Dancing, she set up five companies. But four of the businesses (I Do Care, You Care Worldwide, Raspberry Fields Productions and Beauty and the Baby) are dormant, and the fifth, Dissoi Logoi Productions, is about to be struck off the Companies House register.

“She thought she would get all these amazing deals after being on Dancing With The Stars,” said her friend. “She thought she would be invited onto Oprah and would be filling in for Larry King (the TV interviewer). She set up all these companies in the belief that she would be hugely popular. But it all came to nothing. While people might have admired her dancing, as a personality, she is not a ratings winner.”

[From the Daily Mail]

What will it take for Heather Mills to realize that she’s the psycho, not everyone else? Something tells me that losing her home will just further enhance her victimhood. Heather is now representing herself during her complex legal trial. If anything could assure her that she’d end up with a stack of old newspapers and some chicken eggs for a settlement, it’s Crazy representing herself. If things go as hoped, pretty soon we’ll see her auctioning that leg on eBay.