This week, Buckingham Palace announced that King Charles and Queen Camilla will go on a four-day tour of Kenya. They’ll be in Kenya from Halloween through November 3. This will be Charles’s first visit to a “British Commonwealth” country since he became king. Prince William and Kate still haven’t made any trips to any Commonwealth countries since spring 2022, the Caribbean Flop Tour, which apparently changed everything about how the Windsors view their own colonialist cosplay tours. What’s notable here is that Charles, by historical convention, really should have been traveling to Commonwealth countries throughout this entire year. Instead, Brexit changed the dynamics of British diplomacy and European alliances, and it was seen as much more important for Charles to visit France and Germany before any Commonwealth country. Of course, there’s another reason why Charles has avoided Commonwealth countries: he doesn’t want to be put in the position of going on an Apology Tour, wherein he would need to acknowledge the British crown’s long history of racism, slavery and colonialism. Speaking of:

King Charles will acknowledge the “painful aspects” of Britain’s past actions in Kenya during a state visit later this month. The visit follows an invitation from the country’s president, William Ruto, whose country will celebrate the 60th anniversary of its independence from Britain on 12 December. The two countries have enjoyed a close relationship in recent years despite the violent colonial legacy of an uprising in the early 1950s, which led to a period known as “the emergency”, which ran from 1952 until 1960.

The Mau Mau armed movement was fuelled by the resentment some members of the Kikuyu tribe felt towards their British rulers and European settlers who farmed land in Kenya, as well as at a lack of political representation. White farmers were targeted in violent attacks as were some Kikuyu who were said to have collaborated with the authorities.

The Kenya Human Rights Commission said 90,000 people were executed, tortured or maimed during the British administration’s counterinsurgency operation. The UK government made a historic statement of regret in 2013 over the “torture and other forms of ill-treatment” perpetrated by the colonial administration during the emergency period and paid reparations of £19.9m to about 5,200 people.

Charles and Queen Camilla spend four days in Kenya from 31 October to 3November. It will mark Charles’s first visit to a Commonwealth country as king. His deputy private secretary, Chris Fitzgerald, said: “The king and queen’s programme will celebrate the close links between the British and Kenyan people in areas such as the creative arts, technology, enterprise, education and innovation. The visit will also acknowledge the more painful aspects of the UK and Kenya’s shared history, including the emergency … His Majesty will take time during the visit to deepen his understanding of the wrongs suffered in this period by the people of Kenya.”

[From The Guardian]

Okay, so I actually didn’t know that British people refer to this part of their history as “the emergency.” That perfectly encapsulates the British penchant for understatement, my God. Shocked that they don’t refer to World War II as “the misunderstanding” or “the dust-up.” In any case, Charles is going to stand in some banquet hall or ballroom and say, with his cut-glass accent, that mistakes were made and of course everyone regrets all of it. He will stop just shy of apologizing and there will be zero reparations made. Camilla will then knock back another martini and grimace at the first white person she sees and then they’ll both stagger back to England.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images, Instar.