Remember all of those photos of Mariah Carey in an unflattering swimsuit on the Malibu beach? Well, here is the live action version, and it is not pretty. And by “not pretty” I mean “it’s so hilarious how Mariah thinks posing her body a certain way will limit our exposure to the worst parts of her body in an unflattering swimsuit.” Before everyone gets riled up, I will say again – I don’t think Mariah is fat, or overweight. Sure, she’s put on some weight, but I think she still looks very pretty and healthy. But she’s a curvy girl now – and every other curvy girl wouldn’t touch that horrible swimsuit.
Just for kicks, lets do a play-by-play of why this video is so awesome (or awesomely bad), like we did for Jennifer Lopez’s “Fresh Out The Oven”.
*Damn, Malibu looks cold. Either that, or the turkey’s done.
*Is Mariah cleaning the dog crap off of her flip-flops?
*I love the way Mariah gets off the stairs. It’s like she’s trying to angle herself so her thighs appear their thinnest, but she ends walking like she’s just been riding a horse all day.
*Notice how fast the cuts are. I suspect they had to cut around Mariah sucking in her stomach, which she probably can only do for a few seconds before she gets tired and needs someone to carry her off and put her in a chair.
*Who wears false eyelashes to the beach?
*Her jewelry isn’t bad. I like some of those bracelets.
*I like her hair this color. In certain angles, Mariah is a very beautiful woman.
*HA! I love the part where she pushes her boobs together to give herself monster cleavage. I do that too, when I’m ordering a drink. I like strong drinks.
*They overexposed the film where Mariah’s running so she’ll look thinner. Chuckle.
*She looks ridiculous rubbing her ass on that boulder. She reminds me of the cartoon Charmin bears, in those commercials.
*Good God, why doesn’t anyone say “no” to Mariah? This video would have been a million times better if they had Mariah at the beach in a flattering dress, rather than these ugly cut-out bathing suits.
It’s actually not a bad song. It just would have been better with a different video. I can’t get over Mariah and how pleasantly crazy she is. Although, I think when you’re that rich and famous, you aren’t consider “crazy”, you’re just eccentric.
H.A.T.E.I.T
LMAO!
*HA! I love the part where she pushes her boobs together to give herself monster cleavage. I do that too, when I’m ordering a drink. I like strong drinks. ————HYSTERICAL!
Enough with the flipping butterflies!!!
I cant even be bothered to wait for this crap to finish buffering.
The song is kind of uneven. She can’t trick us into thinking that she’s svelt with fancy lighting, because we’ve all seen the real photos!
I think the white suit looks better on her..
“I can’t wait to hate you, make you hate life…” Duck and cover, Eminem!
The song is not to my taste at all. I don’t think the suit looks *so* bad if we don’t compare her to Hollywood beauty standards. I wish she would stop selling herself as a sex symbol though, firstly I don’t think she is, and secondly her voice is stellar and she can bank on it for the rest of her life if she makes that her main commodity. My concern is that her insistence on selling her sex appeal will limit her as she ages.
Wow, she even SOUNDS like a beached whale.
I’ll never get that one image of Mariah out of my head -the one where she’s wearing that black bathing suit and squatting on the beach.
Takes me instantly to Edie Brickell squatting on SNL and then Beavis and Butthead exclaiming “uh huh she’s uh pinching a loaf duh huh uh huh” … but Mariah’s squat fits so much better.
I turned off the sound to this video (naturally) and watched it. It was hilarious.
Hysterical.
@BitterBetty—you RAWK! Can’t and won’t top that.
They should win an award for best photoshop in a video. I know what I saw in the candid photos on the beach and they trimmed off about 30 lbs. She is 40 years old and in the music industry she is not considered a sex symbol at that age. The type of music that she is marketing to is too teenagers whose mothers are probably younger than she is. I will never forget watching Mariahs meltdown live on MTV about 8 years ago when she started talking crazy and stripping with an ice cream cart and then had to be sent away for “exhaustion”. They say she is bipolar and self-medicates with alcohol, which would explain a lot of her over the top behavior.
It’s evident that LA REID and IDJ have no clue what to do with Mariah Carey–she is out of there league, and Rihanna is just sad.
1. Mariah Carey won’t sing anymore, she use to be the Melanie Fiona of the music business, now she’s lazy.
1. mariah Carey won’t release videos on time, and she makes the same video over and over (HATEU = Love Takes Time, My All and Loving You Long Time).
1. mariah carey won’t give great live performances, it’s like she has stage frieght, and must sound perfect and she ends up making excuses every time.
No Longer a Mariah fan
p.s. LA REID and his staff and mariah’s manager should be FIRED for 2 horrible videos, why has she NOT sang on ELLEN, LENO, SNL, American Music Awards????
Who has dropped the ball and ruined mariah’s career? and why?
What the hell has happened to this woman’s voice????!! She used to have such a strong,clear, pure voice and now she’s doing this bedroom-voiced, low murmur talk with the occasional scream thrown in…WTF?
*Looks for my ‘Vision of Love’ cassingle!
She does look better in the white swimsuit.
@ Mariah Fan As a former music industry executive I can tell you who ruined Mariah Carey. It was all Mariahs doing, she has her deal structured so she has creative control over her videos, image and cds. So the label basically has no choice but to give in to her demands, because they signed a deal that gave her way too much power.
That’s probably the worst video she has ever made. Sorry Mariah hated it!
I don’t know which is funnier – the video or Kaiser’s recap.
@Diva – I’ve heard the same thing from industry friends.
Success + narcissism = Enough rope to hang yourself
can someone tell me what ‘stage freight’ is??? (thanks Mariah’s fan). 🙂
Song is not completely heinous…but the video is! Those EYELASHES!!!!
She’s a song whisperer.
Mariah’s been on my shit list ever since she gained control of her image about a decade ago. And she’s been doing this cheap sexpot thing for about….a decade. Hmmm. Like I’ve said before, she (and Spears) seemed to be doing better regarding their image when it was someone else at the helm because obviously they don’t know what the hell they’re doing.
@pj – “She’s a song whisperer.” BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Someone needs to explain to her that virtually all of her clothing choices are unflattering. This bathing suit is just a beach version of one of her 3 million skintight mini dresses. She would be much prettier with better clothes (and a better attitude.)
Her speaking voice in “Precious” shocked me. She sounded like she smokes like a freight train or screams herself hoarse.
Doesn’t she have a home to go to? Why would you hang around a beach on your own so long? Is she hoping to get lucky?
omg yall its not THT bad.. i guess i have kind of a biased opinion b/c i look up to her so much but u gotta admit mariah is beautiful for her age and “weight” n u have to remember she used to be a size 2 so what if she’s a 4 or 6 now. its not important and at least she’s not back to her emancipation of mimi days when she first made her comeback. and yea the white one is the best pick in my opinion. but everyone is entitled to their opinion but all i no is that im goin to remain a “lamb” for life and support her no matter what
Mariah has a knack for picking HORRIBLE singles!! There were many other songs on that cd much better than this. When they announced that this was her next single I could not believe it
There was a bigger focus on the music when Tommy was in charge. It always feels like she just likes doing videos ’cause it affords her yet another opportunity to waddle around in skimpy outfits. She looks better in the video than she did in the photos of course. Please someone give her the memo that she’s 40 years old. No ageism here, just that there’s different kind of sexy for every decade.
I was always a big fan of Mariah’s music in the begining, but never a fan of ‘Mariahs’. All of her time in front of a camera consists of how many different shots, poses, angles of herself in different outfits, she can possibly squeeze into the alloted time frame. She has always been all about MARIAH!
She actually looks a million times better in that video than she did in the candid shots on the beach. I think she actually looked really good.
She’s just NASTY – Wish someone would tell her so.
when will it end?
i just wish she’d give up spanx and spandex altogether. she’s too damn old for this.
@Dr M – “Stage Freight” – another term for Mariah’s ass.
I actually like her body and think she looks good and sexy
Leave her alone! Granted she is 40 now and she could without the skimpy outfits all the time. But her body is not that bad – she is a curvy woman – not everyone can be size 0 or. The average American woman is a size 10 or 12. I do miss the voice – I don’t know what has happened but her voice quality is not the same as before and her songs need to mature.
Mariah is a fraud – we fly to new york for her new years eve concert. My wife is the hugest fan with my 2 teen age girls. 9 oclock concert – tons of waiting, the self appointed diva comes on at 11:00 and sings 3 songs, then has some dude sing a few songs. ?? After 2 hours? She was going on about people calling her a diva so she is going to ACT like a diva. THEY LEFT! Weeks and weeks of waiting – 7th row from the stage – and they were so disappointed, they LEFT! 3 huge fans just became three realists when it comes to MC.
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