Prince Harry left London on Wednesday, roughly 24 hours after he arrived at Heathrow. On Tuesday, he traveled (with police escort) straight from Heathrow to Clarence House, where he had a brief meeting with his father. Brief being… somewhere between 30-45 minutes. After which, Charles and Camilla immediately escaped to Sandringham and Harry checked into a London hotel overnight, and left London the next morning. While Harry was in the air, on his way back to California, palace aides, senior staffers and likely some primary royals all began testing out their talking points for why Harry was wrong, rude and tacky for traveling fourteen hours to see his father in person after Charles was diagnosed with cancer. Robert Jobson got a call (I’m covering that separately) and it looks like Tom Sykes at the Daily Beast got some calls too. Sykes is interesting because his sources always sound deeply embedded within Prince William’s bum. It’s the same here – Harry’s visit really lit a fire under William’s ass and suddenly the disappearing prince was screaming from the rooftops that HE had no plans to see or speak to his brother.
Prince Harry was heading back to Los Angeles Wednesday, meaning he will have taken a 11,000 mile round trip to spend just half an hour with his tired father King Charles and sleep in a hotel, in what some sources said looked like a “partial snub.”
One former courtier told The Daily Beast: “He did get to meet the king which is something, but they hardly rolled out the red carpet for him. If circumstances were different, one might have expected him to be offered a bed either at Clarence House [the king’s London home] or at Sandringham. I am sure the king was delighted to see him but I think what you are seeing is that great care being taken to insulate the king and queen from Harry.”
It is thought the king met Harry alone at Clarence House yesterday and was not joined by Queen Camilla, who was described by Harry in his memoir Spare as willing to “sacrifice” him and leave “bodies on the street” in her quest to improve her standing in the public eye and be named queen.
A friend of Prince William and Kate Middleton’s told The Daily Beast: “I’m not surprised he was only given one meeting. There was never any prospect he was going to meet William. It’s a partial snub because he has clearly been told there is nothing to stop him being on his way.”
Duncan Larcombe, former royal editor for the Sun and a biographer of Harry, told The Daily Beast: “It may look to outsiders fairly cold to see your son for only half an hour if they have flown from L.A. to London for the meeting, but I’m sure Harry wouldn’t have expected anything more given his father is poorly. In fact, for Charles to see Harry at all at such short notice, despite having just had cancer treatment, could be read as an encouraging sign that the king still wants to rebuild the relationship with him.”
This alone explains SO MUCH of the coverage of Harry’s trip and the after-action reporting: “It is thought the king met Harry alone at Clarence House yesterday and was not joined by Queen Camilla.” I’m genuinely glad that at least Charles had the stones to tell Camilla to GTFO while he spoke to his son. I’m sure Camilla was trying to listen at the door, but the lack of reporting of what was said between father and son speaks volumes about who is leaking what. That also means that none of William’s Kensington Palace clowns were anywhere near the meeting.
So, to recap – Charles called Harry several days ago to tell him about the cancer, Harry immediately wants to come to the UK and see his dad, and Charles helps arrange the trip (the police escort, going straight to Clarence House). Charles then arranges to meet Harry alone and they have a brief visit, and Charles’s people officially leak it to friendly outlets that Charles was moved that Harry made the journey. Then Camilla, William and their staffers proceed to freak the f–k out and throw a huge tantrum about how Harry is rude for this or that, and William still hates Harry and refuses to see him. Nowhere has Harry actually said that he tried to meet William or even talk to him. It really is just… insane.
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.
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- Prince Harry arrives for the coronation of King Charles at Westminster Abbey, London,Image: 774175523, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: -, Model Release: no, Credit line: Phil Harris / Avalon
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- Prince Harry at the Coronation of King Charles III at Westminster Abbey in London, United Kingdom, on 06 May 2023.,Image: 774176733, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: James Veysey/Shutterstock / Avalon
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- Prince of Wales, Prince William Coronation of King Charles III, May 6th 2023. King Charles III and Camilla the Queen Consort, members of the Royal family and VVIP’s arrive at Westminster Abbey for the Coronation service.,Image: 774185348, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: -, Model Release: no, Credit line: Unknown / Avalon
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- Prince Harry leaves Westminster Abbey after the Coronation of King Charles III in London, United Kingdom, on 06 May 2023.,Image: 774201323, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: -, Model Release: no, Credit line: Unknown / Avalon
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- Queen Camilla receives a royal salute from members of the military in the gardens of Buckingham Place, London, following the coronation.,Image: 774211921, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: -, Model Release: no, Credit line: Andrew Milligan / Avalon
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- LONDON, ENGLAND – MAY 06: Prince William, Prince of Wales departs from the Coronation of King Charles III and Queen Camilla on May 06, 2023 in London, England. The Coronation of Charles III and his wife, Camilla, as King and Queen of the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland, and the other Commonwealth realms takes place at Westminster Abbey today. Charles acceded to the throne on 8 September 2022, upon the death of his mother, Elizabeth II.,Image: 774214323, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: -, Model Release: no, Credit line: Richard Heathcote / Avalon
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- King Charles III leaves Westminster Abbey after his Coronation, London, United Kingdom, on 06 May 2023.,Image: 774228682, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: -, Model Release: no, Credit line: Dan Charity / Avalon
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- The Coronation of King Charles III. Outside Westminster Abbey. London. Prince Harry,Image: 774240112, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: -, Model Release: no, Credit line: David Levene / Avalon
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- King Charles III and Queen Camilla wave from the balcony of Buckingham Palace following their coronation, London, United Kingdom, 06 May 2023.,Image: 774245294, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: -, Model Release: no, Credit line: Tim Clarke / Avalon
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- Prince Harry Duke of Sussex at The Coronation of King Charles III at London”s Westminster Abbey 06 May 2023,Image: 774252232, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: -, Model Release: no, Credit line: Mark Stewart / Avalon
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- The Prince of Wales speaking at the Coronation Concert held in the grounds of Windsor Castle, Berkshire, to celebrate the coronation of King Charles III and Queen Camilla.,Image: 774496317, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: , Model Release: no, Credit line: Yui Mok / Avalon
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- Hugo Burnand/Royal Household 2023. EDITORIAL USE ONLY. This photograph shall not be used after 2259hrs GMT on December 31, 2023, without prior, written permission from Royal Communications. After that date further licensing terms will be available. The new photographs are made available for editorial purposes, charities and not-for-profit organisations. The copyright of the photographs is vested in Buckingham Palace and Hugo Burnand. Publications are asked to credit the photograph to Hugo Burnand. Terms of use must be strictly adhered to. The photographs will be available for press usage until 2259hrs GMT, Sunday December 31, 2023 The photographs are being made available by way of licence on condition that: The photographs shall be solely for news editorial use only. The photographs should be used only in the context of Their Majesties’ Coronation. The photograph is provided to you strictly on condition that these conditions and restrictions will apply (and that you will pass these on) to any organisation to whom you supply it. There shall be no commercial use whatsoever of the photograph (including by way of example only) any use in merchandising, advertising or any other non-news editorial use. The photograph must not be digitally enhanced, manipulated or modified in any manner or form. King Charles III, the Prince of Wales and Prince George on the day of the coronation in the Throne Room at Buckingham Palace, London. The King is pictured in full regalia and is wearing The Robe of Estate, the Imperial State Crown and is holding the Sovereign’s Orb and Sovereign’s Sceptre with Cross. He is seated on one of a pair of 1902 throne chairs that were made for the future King George V and Queen Mary for use at the Coronation of King Edward VII. These throne chairs were also used in the background of the 1937 Coronation of King George VI and Queen Elizabeth and King Charles III and Queen Camilla at Westminster Hall to receive addresses from the S,Image: 775555336, License: Rights-managed, Restrictions: PICTURE DESK USE ONLY. HANDOUT. MANDATORY CREDIT: Hugo Burnand EDITORIAL USE ONLY This photograph can not be used after 2259hrs GMT on December 31, 2023, without prior, written permission from Royal Communications., Model Release: no, Credit line: Hugo Burnand/Royal Household 2023/PA Media / Avalon
Even if Charles didn’t have cancer his lifestyle would still be the same regimented and unflexible model with his own sons needing to go through third parties to even be allowed to speak to him on the phone. It is so 18th century. Harry said that he wants a family and not an institution.
Having to go through staff to see or talk to your parent is just so strange to us normies, but I think that is actually a big problem in a family with severe dysfunctional patterns because non-family members are also acting with their own agendas, which may make the internal family strife worse than if they could just communicate with each other directly.
Look how Queen Elizabeth’s own staff meddled with her plans to see Harry and Meghan! The senior staff surrounding the senior royals meddle with things due to their own agendas, their own dislikes or because they like their small power trips. They may very well run things by manipulating their not very bright principals. A satirical representation of this kind of relationship can be seen in the TV show “Yes Minister” and “Yes Prime Minister” where the Ministers snobby Private Secretary continually manipulates the slightly stupid Minister to get his own agendas through. It is a satire, so things are exaggerated but there is likely a kernel of truth there.
🎯
@ArtHistorian So true.
The non-family members are very powerful with their own agendas and for some their raison d’être is the survival of the royal family, and woe betide anyone tries to rock the boat and destabilise the status quo.
I agree & I think that’s what some of those people are p*ssed about. Harry managed to have a private convo with his father. These are the same people who were so p*ssed that Harry managed to have some private convos with the late Queen. It’s all about control & they don’t have it where Harry’s concerned. Not any more.
Can these people be fired by Charles/William or are they latched into a vein with compromising information and blackmailing the senior royals?
Not asking if Charles/William want to fire them, only asking they can.
PrincessK, I hope that our ancestors were more feeling than this in the 18th Century! This family gives off less warmth than liquid nitrogen.
I dislike Duncan Larcombe, but he’s one of the few reporters who actually seems to understand how awful this looked, “ Duncan Larcombe, former royal editor for the Sun and a biographer of Harry, told The Daily Beast: “It may look to outsiders fairly cold to see your son for only half an hour if they have flown from L.A. to London for the meeting,…”
Part of the issue is that in the past this was the model of how to exist for a measurable portion of society. It isn’t anymore. You can feel so many of the royals feeling miserable, but they are surrounded 24/7/365 by people whose entire life purpose is to keep them trapped, because the fantasy that the British royals are the best people in the world must be maintained.
Thinking about the Japanese royal family.
Perhaps “journalist” Tom Sykes should be asking William why he never visited his father in the hospital and why Harry was able to fly to the UK and see his father before him, the son who lives in the UK.
So much this. I mean the money-grubbing tabs always defy logic and reason but how can anyone step back, look at this objectively and not say, “Where TF is William and why isn’t he with his father?” And the whole “Family first” nonsense they were trying to roll out the other day flies in the face of everything the BaRF has ever stood for. Firm first at all costs.
Charles , please get better and stay king till you are your mother’s or grandmother’ s age . Since monarchy is largely tradition , protocol, history and culture, he knows the drill , speaks Welsh , understands all things British . I hope another thirty or thirty five years is enough to educate that rage monster of an heir on what’s required
Especially when Willnot’s wife and father supposedly were staying at the same hospital for a while. He could’ve killed two birds with one stone and visited them both on the same drive. He did not! A tabloid magazin in my country are using citations from deranged twitter trolls to slander Meghan for not visiting Chucky, but not a pip about Willnot’s absence by his wife’s hospital bed or his lacking support of his father.
Kate was never in that clinic in the first place. So there’d be no point in anyone trying to visit her there.
We don’t know if William visited his father. The London Clinic is prestigious and there are ways in and out for the many who don’t want to be seen.
I think if he had visited his father, we would have heard about it by this point as part of the KP PR narrative to show that William is better than Harry.
The BM Rats are mad the mistress wasn’t in the room to report what was said and William is also angry as always Harry did not want to see him. I am so glad Harry didn’t visit Kate while he was in that island.
I doubt harry is on speaking terms with kate.
Neither is Prince William. Where is Kate, by the way? Proof of life would be good.
Yes: where is Kate? This whole situation honestly has me worried as heck.
It may be that Kate is not on speaking terms with anyone, just now. We do not know, but something is quite off here, isn’t it?
This ALL stems from whatever happened to Kate!
Here’s a theory: Charles and Harry would have been happy to chat for much longer, but I bet Camilla and the courtiers got together and figured out a way to pull them apart.
“We absolutely need this flight right now! You need to go catch it so that you can…be somewhere else sooner!” And of course Camilla is fuming behind closed doors the whole time.
The second they hit the road I bet Camilla was like, “So? What did you say? What did he say?”
Does anyone remember that the King and William allegedly made a pact to never be in a room with Harry alone or without the other. Gee, if I were William, I’d be incandescent with rage that his father broke his promise.
If Charles did not want harry to visit he would have said no. If only Charles would at least for once shut this down and say harry was a very welcome visitor
Bingo. Charles probably saw a mature, confident, loving and thriving Harry, maybe realizing California and Meghan were doing right by him. That might be game-changing for Charles as he faces his humanity.
Not to give Charles the benefit of doubt but I think Harry’s flight to London was also delayed because of weather. There might have been more time scheduled than just 30 -45 min.
This sounds like it’s the Elisabeth situation all over again.
Harry and Meghan have a direct line to her and her aides are upset because of that.
This family is truly trapped.
But I feel like if Charles is truly pleased with his son then he needs to get the RRota to back off these claims that make him look like an ass.
I don’t know that Chuckles can tell the RR to back down. He sold his soul to them in exchange for his ‘redemption’ of the Side Piece. KFC created this mess. By now they likely have all manner of compromising info on various family members.
@JenCF: You have a lot of faith in Charles. I think Charles still thinks that Harry should be home helping the family.
@Amy Bee: that ‘might’ is doing a lot of heavy lifting!
Yes we can’t have them talking in private what will we spill if we don’t know what they were saying. So very angry.
Camilla and Burger King are big mad that despite feeding the Sussexes to the wolves, Harry can still pull a private meeting with Charles and leave them all twisting in the wind with no deets to feed the tabloid sharks. Now, granted, without his cancer diagnosis CRex has no time for Harry. But we are all trusting that the cancer diagnosis is what pulled Harry over. It could still be a cover for the constitutional crisis of Kate in a coma and Willy being pulled out of action for reasons we can only speculate.
I honestly love that they met ALONE. If one word of what was said ends up in the tabloids, Harry will know exactly where it came from. Harry is very wise to insist upon that. Maybe this health scare is making KC3 think a little bit about what is important. If I were Harry I would still be super cautious in all dealings with KC3 and would completely cut off the rest of that toxic family.
What if this whole thing is faked to blackmail H&M back into Royal life?
It’s be a great redemption arc of them being so dedicated that they put aside all ill will to return in times of need. But they would have endless hate on them ignoring FAAAMILY if H refused to visit.
I hope it’s not true, but if it is, I hope this visit was 4D chess with H&M besting them.
Harry flies there ASAP, looks like caring child, dad meets with son for 30-45 minutes before flying off in helicopter to whichever giant house or castle he owns, dad looks like total jerk to son he keeps punishing. Of course, the wife and kids can’t come with such short notice. Security for all of them requires months of notice and at least 12 tickets or a private flight. Harry flew commercial. A redeye at 2AM! All to get to a short meeting with the father he loves after a cancer diagnosis. He’s such a good boy!
The Rota Rats need to get their stories straight. Sykes sources say KCIII and Harry met alone. Jobba the Hut’s sources say Harry met with both KCIII & Cowmilla.
“met with both” could mean sequentially…Camilla greets Harry, makes pleasantries and then leads him to Charles’ bedroom and leaves.
I’m wondering whether Harry had to ask Camilla to leave.
And yet, despite raging and crying that Harry went to see their father, what we haven’t seen yet from KP is what the Other Brother has done to support Charles. And isn’t that weird?
No sources saying that he dutifully accompanied his father to his first treatment. No hints of a supportive phone call or a FaceTime. No briefings that he sent over flowers or his father’s favourite treats to tempt him to eat after chemo. Nothing. Nada. Bupkis. It’s the strangest part of this whole thing for me. Not that TOB actually has to do those things, mind, because I definitely buy that he’s a thoughtless and selfish lout. But evidently there’s no one on his team saying “Hey, Harry took a red-eye flight to see your father, maybe we should pretend to have done something”.
YES! Where’s the visit from the son who actually lives in the country and promised to be his “liege man”?? The whole post-visit freakout is coming from Willy, not Chuckles imo. But still Willy can’t be bothered to visit his father? Deeply weird people.
We don’t know if William visited his father. The London Clinic is prestigious and there are ways in and out for the many who don’t want to be seen.
@PrincessK Crocmilla was making a point of being uber viable visiting Charles in order to make a point about William’s absence, especially after that nonsense from Becky English about “royals don’t visit each other”. No way William would let her get away with that unless something was up. I think she is holding something over his head and its bad. These people do not do subtle and unassuming and live to fcuk over each other, especially in the press.
I love “maybe we should pretend to have done something”. That’s KP’s go-to MO for all situations, isn’t it?
I completely agree with Kaiser’s interpretation of events and the warring factions trying to get their version of the story out there. I also think it speaks volumes that Camilla wasn’t present; I think Charles finally thought to himself “it’s time shit gets real” and gave Harry the lowdown on the crazy going on alone. So naturally the courtiers, Camilla and William (when he’s sober enough to process) are PISSED. OFF.
I’m also in favour of the “he had to sign papers” stuff, although we still don’t know what they pertain to…IMO Charles is trying to hand Harry the keys to some other Royal property so he has UK residence while avoiding Frogmore and all the bad blood…Wasn’t there some country house with area for development originally destined for William, near Glouchestershire (and therefore Highgrove) that William turned down? Or maybe that’s all owned by the Duchy of Cornwall now and that’s not an option…who knows
I keep asking people what papers would Harry have to sign and haven’t got answer yet.
Maybe it has to do with getting his money from Frogmore back? Personally I also doubt the ‘signing papers’ story but who knows. I don’t doubt that Charles isn’t going to use DocuSign lol for papers so I could see him whipping out a quill and and ink pot to sign something if there was something to sign. But yah I’m guessing there wasn’t anything like that. Thirty minutes of convo after years of not speaking probably felt like a half day visit to both of them.
Perhaps you’re asking the wrong people.
I think this is not really figureoutable right now – time will tell, maybe. But when you prepare for a potential death within the family, all kinds of things need to be signed. I also thought about how Harry could be protected from TOB reign.
Trust documents? We don’t know there were things to sign, but we don’t know there weren’t either. My parents and in-laws are all around the same Boomer age as KCIII and I’ve been signing shit tons of things the past decade. Signing things at the bank, at the lawyers, with the realtors, in the courts.
You keep asking “what documents” and I’ve seen quite a few responses with guesses. The answer really is none of us know and none of us are better or worse placed to guess.
Is Harry going to live in the house by himself?
why would he? It would be Frogmore v 2.0, a place to stay when he comes over, with or without Meghan and the kids depending on circumstance (like his latest visit)
Exactly Harry is never going to do more than a fly in-fly out visit to the UK. He will show up for Well Child or another charity and then bounce. if he wants to see friends and family he can do that quietly or just meet up in different places. outside of the UK He’s never going to have a home base that the UK media can track him at or harass him at. Maybe he hoped for that years ago but its done.
No, not frogmore cottage and not alone
See I think William’s terrified of what his father told Harry. The truth about what’s going on with the wales couple? The truth about William refusing to do the bare minimum of anything? Charles and William have seemingly been at odds for a while. Harry and his father actually reforging ties probably terrifies more than a few people.
I agree. And with the knowledge it was just the two of them, there was also the opportunity for a real heart to heart and forgiveness. And maybe an explanation why Charles looked as if he had cried.
Charles has cancer
William is unfit to be king, they realised after what happened to Kate
Somehow George should be the next king.
But they need a regent when Charles dies before George is old enough.
Harry has a family that he “has to protect,” as he has said himslef. He is not placing his family in harm’s way and sleeping on royal property means the Sussexes would be at the mercy of those royals sycophants who have murder among many otehr crimes in their history.
Theres a reason that with the million bedrooms owned by the monarchy, H hasnt slept on royal property since he and his wife left Frogmore. Does anyone really believe that H was DENIED a bedroom on this and his previous flying visit?
Its more likely that H REFUSED an invitation to sleep there….who knows what they would do to him in his sleep. Rmbr at his bachelor party he kept himself sober, knowing that if he got drunk his brother had planned to cut off his beard.
Harry knows how wicked these people are.
More, I’d just like to think of Charles giving Harry some gossip tea and William being terrified about Harry knowing the truth of whatever’s going on. But at the same time, I could see Charles also using some of that time to ask Harry to drop the court cases. Or maybe they just had awkward small talk.
I agree 100%. And while I don’t see in Charles the ability to suddenly be a father, I do see a man capable of suddenly turning on his heir at a crossroads crisis point.
I have no idea what that would mean or why, but Charles is a man who worships power and craves it. He knows how to get what he wants. And this man, this tampon subservient, kicked Camilla out of this meeting.
He knows she leaks. He needed something from Harry. And he made it happen, like he always does.
Off topic but not completely, I just found out last night that my adult son (about Harry’s age) considers me the toxic person in his life and I am crushed. I’m not sure what I’ve done to warrant this but his SO was posting some rather pointed jabs last night on sm. I have done all that I could, all of his life, to make life easier for him and my daughter, to be there for them rain or shine. Of course, I’ve made mistakes as a parent, there are things that keep me awake at night but I’ve tried to do the best that I could by both of them. I swing between crying and then thinking, “yep, I’m done”. I don’t want to give up on him completely but our relationship has been strained for a while now, I hate to say it but his SO is not helping here at all, they seem to trauma bonding and while her childhood was certainly rough, I’m not sure what my son is bringing to the trauma bond but seems quite determined to blame me.
Thank you for allowing me to share here, I’ve had little sleep and am crushed. What did I do wrong?
Ask him. I have a toxic family. My advice is ask. People let things fester for attention or what-not. By asking you are nipping it in the bud.
It could be he didn’t like or care for the environment he grew up in. Example would be if all the other kids was on a different level and he was the odd man out.
Another answer could be he is saying to you what they can’t say to her parents! Happens all the time. Yell at the person who won’t turn violent.
Don’t try to guess until you talk to him. It could be something you didn’t even know happened.
I agree in that you may be the safe outlet. That’s not fair to you, of course.
@Harla I am so sorry. That is heartbreaking to hear.
Sending you lots of hugs – sounds like he has been influenced by his SO who maybe projecting feelings of jealousy onto your relationship with him. It also sounds like she’s trying to isolate him from his family so its easier for her to control him.
But as the other poster said – ask him, ask him for examples of what he considers toxic behaviour. I think you might find his idea of what toxic behaviour is has been shaped by her.
I would ask him directly if you can in a calm and open way – if you found out by any other source than him, it might not be true, or it might be more nuanced than that. Definitely taking as many other people out of the formula as possible is healthier and more likely to help you get to the cause of any misunderstanding. Family gossip is so destructive and never facilitates repair (I know this first hand). No matter what he says, listen thoughtfully and try not to respond until he’s done saying whatever he has to say. I can only imagine how hard this is – wishing you the very best.
Oh honey, I am so sorry. That is very difficult to hear and it will not be easy to sort out, especially with an SO in the mix…
However you are all adults, so with discussions (not necessarily calm, don’t put so much pressure on it…it can come in fits and starts, some ugly some not, with plenty of time for breaks of weeks or even months while things settle down and absorb…) and love and time you should be able to get to the bottom of things and reframe your relationship if that’s what you both want…
and clearly here is where professional help is needed, I would get a good therapist to help you process…Good luck and hugs 🙂
@Harla – I’m just a longtime lurker but I’ve been there. It’s painful and confusing. So sorry you’re going through this but take heart. It is possible to work through this to a better relationship for all involved. I’m sure others who know you here and IRL can offer better advice, but I recently saw a woman on TikTok who posted something that really resonated with me. It’s what I did after wondering what it was that I had done so wrong when I had tried so hard to raise them as best I could. I was shocked they saw me as the problem. When adult kids say parents are the problem/toxic or go no contact, the best course of action is to get yourself into therapy for help to heal your own wounds/trauma. With a good therapist and putting in the work, examining how coping skills learned to survive generational trauma so many of us grew up with, opens up the possibility to see how those skills may have had a negative impact on our own children. Even when we were/are doing the very best we can. In therapy we learn healthier ways to navigate relationships with our adult kids, as well as receive much-needed support for you through a really painful time. Estrangement doesn’t have to be the end result. Many parents say their adult kids were receptive once they saw how hard a parent will work on their own stuff to make their family relationships healthier. Sending you cyber hugs and good luck!
It sounds like you need to ask your son. Best wishes.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I hope you are able to talk to your son, in person and alone. He might not even know what the SO is posting, and posts are so often exaggerated for effect. Whatever happens, I wish you nothing but the best and hope your relationship with your son heals.
That really sucks. As others have suggested, ask questions. I have no idea what the exact situation is in your case, but as someone whose mother has many toxic traits, I’ll add this: please LISTEN to what your son says.
I’ve been very low contact with my mother from time to time. So have all of my siblings at various points. When my brother went low contact, she blamed my sister-in-law for that, even though my sister-in-law was the one who pushed to maintain contact (my brother would have gone no contact otherwise). When we’ve talked to her about why, she gets defensive, says she tried her best, or says, “that’s just the way I am,” and never looks at things from our POV, and never takes accountability for her actions. After, she says she doesn’t understand why we’re low contact, and that we’ve never told her what she did or is doing wrong.
I love my mom. I know she tried her best, and she’s doing her best now. I know all parents make mistakes, that’s a given. I know navigating boundaries when children become adults can be difficult for the parent and kids. It’s just how parents react when the adult child says “this behavior hurt me” or “these are my boundaries please respect them” make all the difference in the world.
I’m so sorry to hear this. Lots of good suggestions above, so I’ll just add I would google how to talk to this generation. There’s a lot of focus on this now and how you’re supposed to respond, almost like a different language from the next generation IMO.
When you do ask if he responds, just be sure to acknowledge that you hear him, you hear the hurt, and you are thankful he’s sharing and so sorry he’s hurting and you’re here to learn and listen.
It sounds like he might be in a relationship where this comes up a lot, so I would try to do all that you can to leave the door open, while also taking care of your mental health and feelings. For example, I’d mute his GF if you can w/o her knowing. You don’t need to read passive aggressive digs.
You say your relationship has been “strained for a while” and you say you’re contemplating being “done with” your son? Then you say you don’t know what you did wrong? I strongly suggest at least three sessions of both individual and family counseling. Listening skills and a neutral third-party would be useful here.
Intentions matter very little. A hungry child doesn’t care that their parent did their best, they care whether their belly is filled. If you failed to meet his needs – for food or for emotional nurturing – then you failed him. That may have been entirely out of your control at that time, but that doesn’t change the fact that his needs weren’t met. Harsh truth: you brought him into existence and that makes you morally responsible for every bad thing that happened to him while he was your dependent minor child. Second harsh truth: after age 18 it was up to him to take control of his own life and happiness with whatever tools and preparation you provided, even if they were inadequate. If you want to have a healthy relationship they you’re both going to have to own your fair share of responsibility for his unhappiness.
“Harsh truth: you brought him into existence and that makes you morally responsible for every bad thing that happened to him while he was your dependent minor child. Second harsh truth: after age 18 it was up to him to take control of his own life and happiness with whatever tools and preparation you provided, even if they were inadequate”
This is a little extreme. A mother can’t be responsible for anything and everything going wrong in their child’s life. Likewise, a switch doesn’t flip at 18 to turn children into full adults. (Legally in the U.S. yes, but I’m speaking about emotionally, financially, mentally)
Oh, Harla, I am so sorry. I have no advice to offer, but you do have my sympathy.
@HARLA, I’m so sorry your going through this, take your time and when you’re ready, ask him, or if he has a partner ask them, good luck lovey
@Harla – don’t blame yourself, you’re only playing into their hands. I think not reacting for the time being is best. If the online bashing continues ask them to please stop and consider discussing the issue like adults, maybe with a mediator. I’m really sorry you’re going through this, been there with my late sister and it’s maddening and hurtful. Take good care.
I think there’s multiple stories happening at the same time. The grey men trying to control their king only allowed for a 30 min meeting with Harry-that’s insane. Also Prince W’s people trying to control him since I think he’s in rehab for drug abuse and domestic violence (which is why we haven’t seen Kate, the kids, and her family). That’s also insane. Finally, hundreds of millions of pounds going to this family is insane. Let them eat cake indeed!
You know, it just occurred to me. Harry could have said he wanted to visit & Charles’ people said, nope, so sorry, he’s going to Sandringham & Harry said that’s fine, we’ll just have a quick chat before he needs to leave. I’d bet they were flabbergasted, thinking they could schedule Charles as too busy & Harry just found a little window of time for just himself & his father.
I think Charles didn’t get the answer he wanted from Harry so now we’re getting briefings about Harry being snubbed.
The last time Harry spoke at length with Charles, wasn’t he asked about the court cases? I can believe he was once again urged to drop the cases against Murdoch and Rothemere.
I think this too. They don’t want Harry back as a working royal but I think they want the cases gone especially if the next two rounds against the Daily Mail and the Sun are embarassing to Charles and Camilla’s camps since they were the biggest leakers. Maybe he was promised something (security, Frogmore) in return for the cases.
Accept a home from Charles, so he can yank it out from under him again? I doubt Harry would take it. Once bitten, twice shy.
1. I just wrote camilla was doing well and now will be blamed for the rift. She just can’t stop gossiping. Charles obviously wants people to know he liked the visit. For camilla to undermine that,,, girl I don’t know.
2. I don’t believe William leaked anything. He is trying to lay low. He doesn’t want to draw any attention to Harry. And I honestly doubt they don’t have ANY communication. William is too nosy.
3. Does harry not want to stay at a castle because he thinks someone might knock him out of the line of succession? I hope its just a matter of ” no snitching to tabloids” and not he legitimately fears for his life.
Honestly, Harry would be a fool to see what happened to his mother and others and not protect his physical safety. I wouldn’t eat or drink there, let alone sleep there.
William is trying to lay low because he doesn’t want to draw attention to Kate’s situation.
That makes literally no sense. By “laying low” (is this the new quiet quit?) he has done nothing but draw attention to the fact that she’s missing and he never visited his father and only came for 15 minutes to see his wife, one time.
As for the claims that that we don’t know if he visited, I have seen KP people making this excuse on twitter, but it doesn’t fly. Sadly, photographers were all over that hospital and the surrounding neighborhood. He simply did not visit.
Harry doesn’t want to stay at any royal residences because they all leak like sieves. From Charles and Camilla to William to the courtiers to the housekeepers, they all have their tabloid spokes-weasels on speed-dial. The only reason William is laying low is because he’s done something VERY bad and he’s hiding out.
Harry travels with his security team. Where would they be staying? CH, BP, Windsor Castle. A hotel suite makes more sense.
This makes a lot more sense. Especially given reports that Harry’s flight was delayed causing him to be late. That even leaves space for the idea that maybe Charles planned to see him longer than 30 mins but with Harry’s delay and incoming bad weather they had to leave for Sandringham when they did.
Now we just need to get bottom of the situation with Kate. I hope she’s ok because only something as serious as a coma could stop her camp from taking credit for being the peacemaker in all of this.
All this crazy talk about Harry’s visit is the gutter rats now trying to clean up the aisle because it made Charles look like the sh*tty father that he is for only seeing his son for 30 minutes after an 11-hour flight. Even the hardcore morning hosts were questioning why only 30 minutes? Why? Because they were desperately optimistic that Harry’s visit was a rapprochement, a sing of reconciliation, a sign Harry might be coming back, and then Charles acted like Charles, which shattered all their dreams so the Jobsons and his ilks are now having to double down that Harry really is the jerk for showing up and not Charles for giving him 30 minutes before hopping on a helicopter to Sandringham. This is all being done to cover for the king’s callous, non-caring attitude which solidifies everything Harry said about him in #SPARE.
Agreed. I also think reconciliation for Charles and the press means Harry agreeing to come back to work for the Royal Family. I think Charles asked him to come back and Harry said no.
Them meeting alone explains the batsh*t coverage we are getting. When was the last time Charles met Harry alone? He was always with Will or some courtier. No wonder people at KP and BP are angry.
Yes. I keep getting vibes from this visit that Harry is worried about the court surrounding his dad in the same way he worried about his grandmother. And it must be very strange to know that even if your brother is an awful person, he’ll also be controlled & isolated when he is the monarch by people with their own agendas.
I also think Charles might have asked for Harry’s advice on the *situation* vis-a-vis William and Kate. I think we all agree something far more serious than abdominal surgery happened and despite the families circling their wagons and shutting down all communication on the subject, this is a true crisis that may explode publicly at any time. In any event, I’m sure Harry was apprised of what went down with the Wails at the very least.
Harry is king material, William isn’t, simples. It’s all such a shame. There wouldn’t be all this worry about Charles if we all knew that it was Harry waiting in the wings. Not that I want that life for him. May he, Meghan and the kids remain happily in the land of eternal sunshine.
charles and harry meeting alone explains so much of the backlash here. SO MUCH.
william already looks bad for not visiting his father so he’s ticked that Harry comes across as better than him, yet again. And Camilla was booted out of the meeting so she’s probably ticked as well.
All of the pieces are coming together here and starting to make sense.
What’s crazy about all of this is that William could still visit him. Presumably William knew about the cancer diagnosis before the statement was made and he still did not visit his father. He could drive over to Charles right now and still just hasn’t. That’s the story here. It’s not Harry hopping on a 14 hour flight “uninvited”. It’s the heir completely blanking his cancer stricken father. Does Charles even want to see Will?
If William really knocked Kate down, maybe they really fear for him doing the same to his father?
It seems like maybe Charles is angry with William and doesn’t want to see HIM. That’s what I’m getting from all of this.
Camilla probably thought she won, dividing Charles from both of his sons. But I suspect Chuck did an about face beyond her back with Harry for his own reasons and now she’s feeling out of control, which won’t bode well for anyone.
The Middleton’s have been mysteriously absent and silent. The media have not run a single story on what they are doing or how they are feeling. Very suspicious indeed.
Can you imagine if a repentant and regretful Ma and Pa Middleton called a press coverage to say that their very ill daughter is being kept hostage in Adelaide Cottage and they are fearful for her mental and physical health. The royal family are denying access and they are calling on the authorities to help them rescue their daughter.
If it is revealed that Kate has anorexia or is bulimic or suicidal that would be a devastating blow to the RF after what happened to Diana and Meghan. Women who join the RF do not fare well, even ones like Kate who bend over backwards to fit in.
Unfortunately I think the Middletons are more like the parents that willingly threw their daughters in front of kings in the past, hoping that largesse for them would follow a dalliance with the king. The Middletons are flat broke. Their only cache now is their proximity to the royal family. The royals are capable of hanging them out to dry–having their loans called in publically, putting unflattering stories into the media. I don’t think they’d dare to go up against the Windsors even if they wanted to. After all, Kate is completely at their mercy–she didn’t lift one finger to establish a place for herself, a support system outside the royal family, a cadre of powerful and influential friends. If Meghan had been as vulnerable as Kate is, she wouldn’t have survived the royal family at all. Yes she’s the mother of a future queen, but she’s ultimately expendable. She has no money, no influence, and no power. Heck, even Fergie had contacts with the world outside the royal family so she was able to make some money, even though she couldn’t manage it. Does Kate?
Could it be that the Middletons are remaining quiet as part of the deal Uncle Hookers and Blow signed with his reality show?
If the producers of that program paid a high fee for his appearance, they may have slipped something into the contract that keeps all members of the family quiet until filming so they can have their “exclusive”. Just an idea.
Has anyone seen the Middletons? It’s not like they don’t have “friends” who would leak to the media? Have George and Charlotte been attending school? Where is everyone??
This right here is the main problem – obviously Charles and Harry somehow still have an open line of communication, and they both tried to do right by the other in this situation. Charles clearly and obviously setup royal security for Harry, which is a huge deal because it’s precisely what they just battled about in court. After the meeting, Charles’ official ‘sources’ said that he felt positive about the meeting, it was touching that his son went to see him, etc.
Every single negative story that has come out since can be directly traced to Will or Camilla. The problem is that Charles doesn’t ever push back or counteract their spin so it just takes over. It’s a permanent game of telephone where each subsequent whisper further spins the lie, and then Charles re-hears it and usually believes the spin and reacts poorly and then the whole cycle starts over again.
It’s the same thing that happened around the birthday call. Harry and Charles seemed positive about it and then the spin doctors poisoned the whole narrative. I hope Harry was really able to speak to Charles directly and alone and cut out all the other whispers this time.
Charles is a very weak man.
Thank you bsynaptic, I echo. I remember what Harry said in Spare about Charles’ cowardly response to Harry suing the press: very dangerous darling boy. No, not I’ll help you take them down, just something to the effect off, don’t cross them they are too powerful. More powerful than the monarchy???
This isn’t about Harry- they’re trying to control Charles.
💯
Fair comment. If Harry’s flight was delayed, what did Charles need to race off for? What’s so urgent in Sandringham that he can’t hang about? It ties in with Camilla and others pushing that “sorry no, we just can’t delay, what a shame” and hustling him off.
Everyone keeps calling these people a family- It’s not it’s a organization run by individuals who believe they’re more superior because they were blessed by god . Where a island of ppl have been brainwashed from birth, this is except able and are okay paying for them to live a life of luxury. They commit crimes, don’t pay taxes, create bills to benefit them and it’s all approved. The media or the public seem to care where Kate is? If they weren’t royal, they’d be called a mafia of criminals and the abuse of spares n women n that organization would be investigate. But because they are Royals they’re untouchable .
I’m wondering whether Harry actually asked Camilla to leave? She would have been furious.
I hope Harry did! That would have been fantastic.
If Harry signed documents while visiting Charles it could be that Charles have set up trust funds for Archie and Lili. Charles knows King William will see them penniless.
Charles does not acknowledge Archie & Lili as members of his family & he’s never shown an interest in their welfare.
Archi & Lili will never be penniless.
William has zero control to exert over Harry or Meghan.
Yeah, I know it’s not realistic, but, since yesterday, I’ve been imagining: Trust funds and a few significant baubles and gifts for Archie and Lili, and Sandringham or some other significant property for Harry and Meghan. “Shhhh. Don’t tell William or Camilla.”
I shouldn’t be, but I’m just amazed at the number of headlines generated over one single 45-minute visit. Nothing substantive, just a whole lotta tripe and conjecture. You have to be just empty, lacking any talent and full of hate, to work as a British “journalist” it seems. Please do not give the BM your clicks, please.
Be afraid willy, be very afraid, chickens are coming home to roost and your the designated perch. GOOD!
Mary Pester, that would be a change, wouldn’t it, to have the heir blamed for anything? If KHate’s issues are from an ED-Mental Health issues then I think the entire Firm is going to look bad. I wonder if we’ll ever know.
I cannot get the picture of Camilla listening at the door out of my head. 😂😂
She probably knows what was said from managing Charles for years. He is a weak man.
If Camilla had been there, I would imagine Harry would find it galling to see Camilla wearing his Grandmothers jewelry. Camilla has now everything she want Charles were she wants him. People call her Queen. All the late Queen jewelry. Rid of Harry and Meghan.