Several of the tabloids have new issues out this week, and Tiger Woods is all over them. I mean, In Touch Weekly is still running a cover story about how Angelina Jolie is the devil (“Angelina’s Revenge Pregnancy”), but the big stories coming out are about Tiger. Sidenote: Everyone is kind of over Tiger’s drama, right? I hit the wall last week. Anyway…

In Touch Weekly’s report is a lot of the same stuff that we’ve been assuming for weeks. Basically, that Tiger is still bangin’ women other than his wife, notably Rachel Uchitel, who traveled from New York to Florida just to be close to Tiger. And they’re meeting up in her condo. You know what? I believe it.

Tiger Woods hasn’t shown his face since the news broke that he’d been cheating on his wife, Elin Nordegren, with as many as a dozen porn stars, cocktail waitresses and party girls. But Tiger isn’t in seclusion, depressed and watching cartoons, as many news outlets have reported — In Touch can exclusively reveal that he’s still secretly having sex with his mistress, New York party promoter Rachel Uchitel.

“They have been sleeping together the entire time since the scandal broke,” her friend says. They hooked up in a condo she’s been staying at in Palm Beach.”

Rachel, 34, has recently been spotted out in the ritzy Florida town where Tiger’s luxurious yacht, Privacy, is docked, and reports claim she’s been visiting her parents nearby.

“Unfortunately, I’m not commenting on anything,” she told a reporter on December 14 during a trip to the grocery store. But the golf superstar isn’t actually staying on Privacy, the friend reveals — he’s been holed up in another decoy boat nearby.

“Rachel’s condo is 500 feet from where Tiger’s boat is docked. He has been visiting her there.” According to the friend, Tiger even secretly flew out to LA on December 4 just so he could spend time with her. “She’s madly in love with him, and she believes that he loves her as well.”

[From In Touch Weekly]

It’s not so much that Tiger cheated, but that he’s still cheating even after he’s caught. Granted, all of the mistresses make him a douche bag. But the fact that he’s still carrying on an affair makes him one of the dumbest bastards ever. Oh, and Uchitel totally has her heart set on being the next Mrs. Woods. She’s pretty moronic too.

Meanwhile, Life & Style has more on the divorce battle about to be waged… and it includes quotes from Ivana Trump, for God’s sake:

At the center of what’s quickly shaping up to be a bitter split between golf legend Tiger Woods and his humiliated wife, Elin, are the couple’s two innocent young children — daughter Sam, 2, and son Charlie, 10 months. As someone who’s lived through a similar nightmare, Ivana Trump says Tiger and Elin should be grateful their children are too young to comprehend the extent of their father’s cheating — or a potential battle over their custody.

“Thank heavens they’re too young to really understand what’s happening,” Ivana tells Life & Style. “They can’t read, and they won’t be watching the TV coverage.”

“Tiger knows Elin is planning to divorce him,” an insider in the golfer’s camp tells Life & Style. “He’s trying to come to terms with it.” And when Elin leaves, she appears determined to take the kids with her. Elin has decided to seek full custody and bring up the children without their father’s involvement, new reports say.

Several other reports have suggested that once her split from Tiger becomes official, Elin may want to take the kids home to her native Sweden, perhaps as early as this holiday season. And if that’s what she wants, it’s likely she’ll be able to. “What normally happens is that the judge rules that [the mother] can go wherever she likes as long as it doesn’t cut the father out of the children’s life and make visitation difficult for him,” celebrity divorce lawyer Raoul Felder tells Life & Style.

Still, the next several months could get rocky for them since Tiger’s not about to let his kids go without a fight. Quietly, the golf star “has been exploring his legal options about keeping his children in the state of Florida,” the insider says of Tiger’s intent to fight for the children.

[From Life & Style]

I have no idea if Tiger is a good father, so I have no real opinion on whether he should be getting custody rights. I suspect that he will, and that Elin isn’t going to make this a legal bloodbath over the children. I hope. The biggest battles will probably be reserved for money. Maybe. We’ll see.

Life & Style cover courtesy of Cover Awards.