I think this Parade interview with Sarah Jessica Parker might have been from this past weekend, but I just saw it and found it interesting. SJP is promoting that film that I’m not even going to name with Hugh Grant, and she sat down to talk about Hugh and her six-month-old twin girls. Shockingly, one of her twins is a ginger! I didn’t know that. SJP is so weird, you know… the way she describes her daughters, it just seems off somehow. She says: “One of my daughters is round-headed and she has my complexion. She’s olive, she has big brown eyes and she is literally constantly looking around and reaching out. I mean, I don’t know how she manages to sleep. My other daughter is like my husband, Matthew. She is white-skinned with little blue bedroom eyes and red hair. She’s very serious and slightly withholding and aloof.” Maybe I’m being too analytical. But it’s weird to use words like “round-headed” and “bedroom eyes” and “aloof” when describing babies, isn’t it?

If at first you don’t succeed.
“I think I remember auditioning to co-star with Hugh in Four Weddings and a Funeral. I think I did. I know I screen-tested for Nine Months. Of course, I didn’t get either. I have wanted to play opposite him in a romantic comedy for basically as long as Americans, especially women, have known and loved Hugh Grant.”

Finally, a lip-lock.
“I didn’t make any demands in terms of the interpersonal connecting of body parts. I just did what I was told by the director. But, every time I kissed Hugh, I told him I was doing it for America.”

Witness protection as marriage therapy.
“I think it would be a fine idea. Put people who are having trouble in their relationships in the witness protection program and send them to some far away place where they can maybe work things out. If they charged half the average hourly rate of a marriage counselor, I think the government could make a lot of money.”

She wasn’t home on the range in the Wild West.
“I didn’t enjoy attempting to milk a cow or ride a horse or shoot a rifle. I have other fantasies, none of which include milking a cow. The cow kicked me in the middle of the scene and they left it in. It’s right there for everyone to see. Actually, I sympathized with the cow. I didn’t belong there and she knew it. But, we both survived.”

No trouble sorting out her twin baby daughters.
“It’s sort of beyond description. It’s a very, very lucky, wonderful time in our lives that we have these two darling little girls and we’re very happy. They could not be more different. It is hilarious, one of my daughters is round-headed and she has my complexion. She’s olive, she has big brown eyes and she is literally constantly looking around and reaching out. I mean, I don’t know how she manages to sleep. My other daughter is like my husband, Matthew. She is white-skinned with little blue bedroom eyes and red hair. She’s very serious and slightly withholding and aloof.”

She feels for other working moms.
“I honestly think there are millions and millions of working mothers who have far more demanding days and the rewards are nowhere near what I’ve been given. They don’t have the kind of help that I have if I need it. I’m allowed to be a working mother because frankly, I can leave my child with someone I trust and love and a lot of mothers can’t do that.”

Which doesn’t mean she’s a laid back parent.
“I don’t think you worry less in general. I think I’m still woken in the middle of the night by some horrible thought that I’ve conjured in my brain. Every time there’s a visit to the pediatrician, I worry. Is everything all right? After my son was born, if he’d cry or something, I’d just walk up the stairs to his room. Now, I’m running up and down the stairs like a lunatic, barely holding on to the banister.”

Unlike Carrie Bradshaw, she’s fashion-challenged.
“If I’m not working, I’m really just wearing whatever is right to get out of the door. I take my son to school in the morning. When it’s freezing outside, I’ve got to convince him to put a hat on and boots on and he resists. By the time he’s dressed, I just have time to grab anything handy and run out the door. I also have two daughters in diapers who are drooling, teething and spitting up. You don’t want a designer outfit in that situation. So you just wear what’s appropriate to be a mother.”

Could there be a Sex and the City five, or maybe six?
“Oh good God, we’d come in with walkers. Oh, I hope not, for all of America’s sake. I mean, we’re lucky to have been able to manage to run around in heels on the sequel. So we’ll see what the future holds, but this one has been really fun.”

[From Parade]

Well, at least she admits that she has a lot of help with the kids. She’s gotten slammed pretty hard for going to work on the second SATC film just weeks after the twin girls were delivered. While I normally could care less about judging any working mother, the SJP situation felt weird because she’s an executive producer on the SATC films, and she could have easily pushed back filming so she could spend more time with the newborns.

I also feel like she’s being kind of weird about the twins too, and not just in this interview. She told Letterman that the girls “are physically, intellectually spiritually, geographically, politically, ideologically and religiously as different as two small 6-month olds could be.” Maybe she’s just strange, or trying too hard to be a sort of cultivated eccentric. This is, after all, the woman who loves the smell of wet, warm diapers. And she’s the same woman who said “It has taken me three years to decide on the scent [of my perfume] because I really like BO and I think it’s sexy. I wanted to figure out a way to make it palatable to everybody. I was like, ‘How do you get BO in a bottle and make an atomizer of it?’ Then it was all about trying to capture the sense of naughtiness in a bottle that it would be good for a man and a woman.” So yeah. She’s just weird.

Sarah Jessica Parker going to Morandi Restaurant in New York City on December 17, 2009. Credit: INFphoto.com.