Thank God Larry Birkhead is around to keep us updated on the excruciating minutiae of his life. That’s a fancy way of saying “Thank God Larry Birkhead is pimping out his daughter.” Because let’s be honest, Dannielynn is really the other thing Birkhead’s got going for him, gossip-wise. Well that and oddly over-arched eyebrows, but I’ll leave that alone for today. According to Birkhead – who just had to go on “Entertainment Tonight” to make this announcement – Dannielynn is suffering from strabismus, which is making her cross-eyed. As many as five percent of all kids have some form of strabismus, which is generally treated first with an eye patch.

Larry Birkhead, says, “She has a… turning in of one of her eyes, and it’s something that we’ve been looking out for for a while. I’ve been taking her to the doctors and… Anna had taken Dannielynn to the doctor to see about it when she was just a few months old.”

Birkhead admits his daughter was initially pleased with her new look thanks in part to her love for pirates. He explains, “I got her a little pirate doll to show her that people wear patches, and it’s OK, and daddy wears a patch if he has to to show her it’s OK. I’ve been really aggressive with the patch as much as I can be. At first she was really open to it and it didn’t really bother her. Now, she’s gotten a little smart because she can pull it off, so it’s a little bit harder for me to patch her.”

If the eye patch and medication doesn’t correct the problem, Dannielynn may face surgery. Birkhead adds, “Having lost Anna and (her son) Daniel… and my dad, (who) just came out of a simple surgery and he died, it’s just tough for me to think about surgeries.”

[From Starpulse]

Despite the jokes, I’m guessing one of the reasons Larry Birkhead is publically talking about Dannielynn’s strabismus is so people know why she’s wearing the eye patch and don’t speculate about it. According to Us Weekly, Birkhead asked several doctors if the condition could have been caused by Anna Nicole’s purported drug use while pregnant with Dannielynn. All of the doctors said no, it’s just one of those things that happens.

I was always jealous of those eye patch kids when I was little. There were always one or two in every grade, and they often had something cool on their patch like a duck or a frog. And they got a lot of attention. It was almost as good as having a cast, which I saw as the ultimate status achievement of the first grade. Larry Birkhead does seem to be exposing Dannielynn to a lot of publicity. But at least he’s being attentive. Imagine how much better Paris Hilton’s life would have been if her parents had paid attention and fixed her wonky eye from the get go? She might be rich and famous by now.

Picture note by Jaybird: Larry Birkhead and Dannielynn returning to Los Angeles after spending Christmas together with Larry’s family in his hometown of Louisville, KY on January 3rd. Splash now blurs images of children’s faces. Images thanks to Splash Photos.