Becky English at the Daily Mail has a big new piece where she “answers” readers’ questions about the Windsors. English is the head of the royal rota, and she uses her position to squeeze exclusives out of the palace for herself, and in return, she carries water for them at every opportunity. Judging from the reactions from some of the Princess of Wales’s most ardent media defenders (like English), I gather that Kensington Palace still believes that they can control the narratives around Kate and around their own incompetence. And if all else fails, just talk about the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, amirite?? Some highlights from English’s piece, which is full of lukewarm tea.

Kate is distressed: The Princess of Wales is ‘very distressed by the fallout’ after she admitted digitally editing a family portrait taken by Prince William, according to Rebecca. The picture was released by Kensington Palace to mark Mother’s Day on Sunday and prompted an apology from Kate, which Rebecca said was ‘honest and heartfelt’. The Princess – who has not been seen at a public royal event since Christmas Day – was ‘simply was trying to put out a nice picture of her children’, Rebecca added. She also said she hoped ‘lessons have been learnt internally’ at Kensington Palace but that the public should ‘accept the apology equally graciously and move on’.

The slimmed-down monarchy: English said the King has always been a ‘big advocate’ of the idea but ‘never expected to lose his son, daughter-in-law and brother as working royals in one fell swoop’. Rebecca also said ‘some of the senior royals are a little frustrated at the suggestion they need to ‘step up’ more’, given how many engagements they already carry out. Princess Anne and the Edinburghs are among those working hard, but Rebecca said: ‘Apart from perhaps the odd extra investiture, how much more can they do?’ She added that Prince George, Princess Charlotte and Prince Louis will ‘clearly not become working royals – should they want to, of course – for another decade or two’.

Harry will never be allowed to come back and work!! Rebecca believes he would never now be accepted back into the Royal Family because ‘too much water has flown under the bridge’ since his departure. However, she also wrote that there ‘may come a time’ when Prince Harry ‘would be accepted as a guest at family occasions’ – but not as a working royal.

King Charles won’t remove the Sussexes’ titles: She revealed she had ‘asked this question many times, of many people’, but Charles believes it would be ‘punitive’ and he ‘would not want to humiliate his son’. Rebecca added: ‘Some see this as a weakness, but many others think it is a sign of a man who simply loves his son, however personally disappointed he is.’

Harry will visit Balmoral: Rebecca said she believes the Duke will bring his children with him at some point. She added that her ‘best guess’ is that he will visit Balmoral in summer because the estate is ‘exceptionally private’ compared to the likes of Windsor and Sandringham. She wrote that there are a ‘number of properties’ there, so other relatives ‘wouldn’t have to be under the same roof, and there is a lot of space if it gets too much.’ Addressing whether Meghan would come with him, Rebecca said: ‘Harry, as we know, was very keen to have her at Balmoral with him when the Queen died.’

Pressure on Kate to disclose more information: Rebecca agreed with a reader suggesting there was more pressure for Kate to share her medical details ‘considering King Charles and Fergie were so transparent’. However, she said that was ‘not to say I think she should bow to that pressure’, adding: ‘Kate and William have to do what they think is best for their family.’ Rebecca also said there had been a ‘contrast between the very regular appearances of the King in public and the deafening silence from Kensington Palace’. And she said this lack of public announcements relating to Kate had ‘unfortunately added to fuel to the fires of the rumour-mongers’.

Will Prince George go to Eton? Rebecca said George’s name has been down for Eton College for years because it is so close to Windsor, where his parents William and Kate hope to live long-term. But she said the decision on the Prince’s next school is very complex because ‘there are huge security implications for the family, school and other parents’. Rebecca also said the Waleses are ‘exploring other options’ for George instead of Eton.

William is still mad at Harry, of course: She said William was ‘very hurt and angry’, but ‘on behalf of his wife and late grandmother, the Queen, who he believes Harry has greatly disrespected’.

Diana would have fixed everything: ‘Truthfully, I don’t believe things would have got to this stage if Diana hadn’t passed. She would have been a glue that held things together. I think it’s very difficult for many of us to comprehend just how devastating it was for them to lose their mother at such a young and impressionable age.’

Kate is very upset: While Kate does not have her own social media accounts, Rebecca said the Princess is ‘not unaware of some of what’s been said’. She added: ‘The Wales’ attitude has been not to react to the trolls – why give them the oxygen of publicity – which is understandable in many respects.’ However, Rebecca added that Kensington Palace had been a ‘little naïve in thinking that one of the most famous women in the world could disappear without trace for three months without people worrying about her’. She added that royal aides ‘should have given some more proactive updates sooner’, which ‘would have gone some way to skewering the conjecture’. And Rebecca said: ‘It’s unlikely we will hear much more until she is ready to come back to public duties. The last time I checked, this was still likely to be after Easter.’

[From The Daily Mail]

My minor prediction is that Kate will not make an appearance on Easter Sunday, after which there will be an even bigger outcry because KP has played this whole “after Easter” thing way too loose and vague. That being said, I do think KP will probably try to provide another proof-of-life video or photo in the next few weeks. Whether anyone will believe it, well, who knows. English also points out that KP only realizes now that they should have given updates on Kate sooner – gee, why didn’t anyone think of that before?

What else… the other working royals bitching about working more, omg! They’re barely doing anything, Edward and Sophie went on a ski holiday, Camilla was on vacation, everyone but Anne barely clocks in one or two events a week. They’re so dreadfully overworked, you guys. The stuff about Harry… they’re always trying to get him to Balmoral alone. I hope he never goes back there. And the dumb sh-t about Harry coming back to work, my god. Give it a rest, psychos, he’s not coming back.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.