ICYMI: Roya Nikkhah at the Sunday Times had a hilariously obvious mega-exclusive over the weekend, fresh from her emails with Prince William’s new private secretary. Nikkhah got more than a dozen unnamed sources to spin some wild explanations for why the Princess of Wales absolutely, 100% created a Frankenphoto as proof of life and how it’s all her fault but she’s completely devastated that those hypocrites at Getty, Reuters, Associated Press and AFP wouldn’t just run a heavily manipulated photo like it was real.

Within the Times exclusive, Nikkhah also clarified Kensington Palace’s vague timeline for Kate’s big return to the public eye. KP always said “after Easter,” which many people interpreted as “ON Easter Sunday.” KP sources insisted that’s not what they meant though – by “after Easter,” “they meant the end of their children’s school holidays, not the Easter weekend. They return to Lambrook School, near Ascot, on April 17, and Kate is still expected to resume public duties from then.” The Times unsurprisingly confirmed that William would also take a holiday during his kids’ school break, meaning no matter what, William and Kate will be largely MIA for the next month. Basically, KP floated this to the Times to see what the reaction would be. They must have been told that if Wiglet Christ Superstar isn’t resurrected on Easter Sunday, it will be another huge fiasco, because not even 24 hours later, the Telegraph ran this story:

The Princess of Wales has not ruled out making a return to the public eye on Easter Sunday, when she could join her family for the traditional walk to church. Kensington Palace said when the Princess underwent abdominal surgery on Jan 17 that she would recuperate in private, at home, until after Easter.

She is not expected to return to public engagements until the week beginning April 15 at the earliest, as the family takes a three-week break for the Easter holidays from March 22. The children return to school on April 17.

However, the Princess has made no final decision about whether she might join her family at the annual Easter Matins service at St George’s Chapel, Windsor.

A palace source noted there had been “no confirmation either way” and that anything else was speculation.

If she is well enough, an appearance on Easter Sunday, when the Princess would be photographed walking through the grounds of Windsor Castle, might be considered a gentle means of returning to the public eye after a tumultuous few weeks. The mother-of-three is aware of the pressure she will be under when she returns to work, not least following her admission that she edited a family photograph before it was released.

[From The Telegraph]

Real talk: if I put myself in Kate’s wedges of doom, I understand why there would be issues either way. If she puts in an appearance on Easter Sunday and then immediately takes the next three weeks “off,” people will be mad that she’s doing fine health-wise and just refusing to work. You know, like there would be an expectation that she goes out and does even more if she’s well enough to go to church. But if she skips Easter Sunday and waits until late April or early May to do a public event, it’s very likely that KP’s dumb little updates will not satiate the British media, and the palace-media’s already strained relationship might actually break down. All that being said, I agree that “going to church in Windsor on Easter” is probably the best “first event back.” Plus, those photos are never closeups – the photographers’ position is usually some distance away from the church, which would work in Kate’s favor.

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Backgrid, Cover Images.