Nacho Figueras really is a major player in the Sussex Squad, I swear to God. He’s legitimately tight with Prince Harry and Meghan, and Nacho and Harry basically treat each other like brothers. But Nacho also pays attention to the deranged attacks on Harry and Meghan and he claps back in the same way the Sussex Squad does. Nacho heard that people were obsessing over Meghan’s American Riviera Orchard jam, so he was like: I’m going to post about Meghan’s ARO jam on my Instagram too. He didn’t put it on his Stories either!
Meanwhile, Meghan’s ARO jam has been THE major headline in the British media all week. The Daily Mail has run at least six major columns in which their cadre of screaming banshees has tried to mock Meghan for… sending jam to her friends. The Mail is also consulting with brand experts to figure out why Meghan is FORCING them to cover the minutiae of Meghan’s jam. Meanwhile, instead of running yet another exclusive about Prince Work From Home, Tom Sykes at the Daily Beast did a back-and-forth conversation with Senior Editor Tim Teeman, all about… jam. You cannot make this up:
Tom Sykes: I have to be honest, there are lots of things I don’t understand about the launch of American Riviera Orchard. For starters, it seems really strange to me to do a big social media campaign, like the one we’ve been sold over the past few days, but not have any product actually available for the punters to buy. There is not even a functioning website. When you go to the ARO website it just gets you to enter your email address for updates.
Tim Teeman: Sure, it’s not user-friendly, but I can think of nothing more camp than making a launch of strawberry jam and mysterious homewares as hush-hush and mysterious as a Taylor Swift album release. It also sticks it to the media (that Meghan and Prince Harry can’t abide), who are currently, futilely trying to get hold of this jam, jars of which are presently reserved for the hands and mouths of selected friends and influencers. Isn’t it genius marketing? Create a product, create a buzz around the product, make everyone curious, and keep it out of the hands of your media tormentors for as long as possible.
Tom: For me, it’s slightly baffling; a soft launch for a brand which doesn’t have any products—huh? The other thing is, jam is actually pretty far from being a healthy product. It has a lovely, homely appeal, but watching jam being made has the same effect as watching sausages being made; you realize, with horror, that it’s literally 50 percent sugar and the fruit is boiled for so long that it must retain very little in the way of natural vitamins…
Tim: Sure, but jam is beloved for all the reasons you place as the case-against-it. Jam is proudly retro, never uncool, and always sweet and comforting—a pantry perennial utterly impervious to food fads and trends. Jam just stays the course. It has blessedly nothing to do with wellness, or health—as so much does these days. It’s just a little sweet, sugary puddle of happy.
Tom: …I imagine it’s also an astonishingly hard business to actually make any money from. Even if you sell a jar of jam for $10, it seems like a finite amount of people are gonna be interested in buying a pot, and it’s probably gonna sit in the refrigerator for many months. Also, you can buy delicious jam for $5 because all jam is the same: boiled sugar and fruit. Taken altogether, that’s why I think that actually American Riviera Orchard is not going to be selling jam, that is not the business plan. This is really just a branding exercise isn’t it? And let’s be honest it has worked: American Riviera Orchard has been on the tip of all our tongues this weekend.
Tim: I think Meghan’s been canny with this launch, as it also reminds the Brits, especially those who remain fans of her and Harry, that she’s still tapped into some Brit passions. And Americans, who have some pretty pallid mass market jellies, now have a jam product that bridges the Atlantic. Also, whatever she is or isn’t ultimately selling, the launch of the brand sticks it to Harry and Meghan’s critics who whine about them freeloading and not making their own money. And King Charles got into royal-branded jam long before Meghan. So, they can’t be snide about her, without being snide about him.
Like… just admit that you’re Meghan’s biggest fans. You’re obsessing over what her gift baskets mean, you’re fussing over the sugar content of jams, you’re pontificating about launch strategies, you’re obsessing over what it all means. Congrats, you’re one of Meghan’s biggest fans and you find her a fascinating enigma wrapped in a riddle, covered in artisanal jam.
Photos courtesy of Instagram, Cover Images.
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- Royal Salute Polo Challenge, to benefit Sentebale, at the USPA National Polo Center. Featuring: Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Where: Wellington, Florida, United States When: 12 Apr 2024 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- Royal Salute Polo Challenge, to benefit Sentebale, at the USPA National Polo Center. Featuring: Meghan Markle Where: Wellington, Florida, United States When: 12 Apr 2024 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Duchess of Sussex presents the trophy to her husband, the Duke of Sussex after his team the Royal Salute Sentebale Team defeated the Grand Champions Team, in the Royal Salute Polo Challenge, to benefit Sentebale, at The USPA National Polo Center Featuring: Prince Harry, Duke Of Sussex and Meghan, Duchess Of Sussex Where: Wellington, Florida, United States When: 12 Apr 2024 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
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- The Duke and Duchess of Sussex after arrive at the Royal Salute Polo Challenge, to benefit Sentebale, at The USPA National Polo Center. Featuring: Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Where: Wellington, Florida, United States When: 12 Apr 2024 Credit: PA Images/INSTARimages **NORTH AMERICA RIGHTS ONLY**
The haters are income generators since they’ll flock to the ARO site to buy her jam just to review it. So, either way, the duchess is getting paid. I wouldn’t worry too much about it, she’s unbothered.
You go Meghan!
Make ’em wonder…
Like Beyonce said on one of her albums lyrics, “You…datBitch”!
There are a gazillion celebs out there with products. I have NEVER EVER seen attention like this. Maybe—MAYBE—for Goop’s vagina candle. It’s literal global pandemonium. It’s amazing these clowns can’t see they are helping to stir up a frenzy like I’ve never seen.
(For reference = IDK if it’s allowed to mention another podcast, but I enjoy Who? Weekly, which is about b-list celebs. Over the years they’ve joked about an insane number of celebs with soon-to-be-forgotten products. Scarjo yummy pop, anyone? In any case, when you realize how little attention those products usually get, you understand that Meghan is at stratospheric levels of attention. In truth, no one really comes close.).
I am happy to ponder nothing and wait for online/in store products i can peruse, to see if they are my cup of tea. If so, add to cart.
Though the analysis of the Duchess’ moves, much like with Taylor Swift- i enjoy reading the think pieces and other people’s interpretations of the connect the dots clues.
The comparisons to T.Swift are so apt because MEghan is at that fame and obsession level. Let’s face it. We’re 5 years out from the move. Yet the obsession is running as feverish as ever. Meghan is one of the most famous, obsessed over people on the planet. She’s up there with Kim K., Hillary, T. Swift, and Beyoncé.
Snaggletooth, you are hilarious. Gave me such a laugh.
Except for the fact that Kim K is headed into her fail decade and I don’t even understand comparing Hillary Clinton to the other three?
As usual they are making themselves sound ignorant. There are ways to make jam without adding sugar. Vitamin content, especially with water soluble vitamins like C, is decreased after boiling fruit for jam, but there are still vitamins and antioxidants present. A simple on-line search or actually consulting a food expert could have told them that, but they aren’t interested in being actual journalists.
My grandma used to call them preserves, because she said that the fruit we cooked into jars would give us some of summer and fall out of season. Including a bit of healthy stuff (even though the sugar insured it stayed edible).
My tinfoil tiara theory is that the ARO cooking show is going to include making jam as one of the first episodes (and sugar content and alternative cooking methods like you’ve mentioned would be great topics to discuss). And then maybe the site will sell the cookware/crockery needed to complete the recipes. So all these haters breathlessly ranting about Meghan’s jam can make it for themselves and then they can lament how her cooking instructions were too advanced for their soft little brains.
I completely agree.
@Sunday, honestly that was my guess too. Selling food seems a lot of bureaucratic work with audits and licenses, etc. I would assume with cooking show, she is gonna give recipes and sell what she is using while cooking.
I agree that the business will be selling cookbooks and kitchen and home stuff. I think the jam is a nice touch but the product is those beautiful bowls. selling food (or children’s clothing) is a nightmare of regulations and approvals.
I’m surprised nobody is freaking out about the lemons!
Also, the idea that all jam is the same tells me that tom sykes, despite all his connections etc, has never had good jam. It is NOT all the same.
ITA. I grew up in the UK and always enjoyed a slice of bread and jam, but I find North American jams too sweet and sugary for my taste. I came across an Austrian jam quite by accident and loved it. It’s first ingredient was strawberries not sugar. It absolutely ruined me for any other jam! It’s extremely hard to get but lots of googling and contact gave me an Italian grocery store in another town that brings it in. Every few months I phone them up and order 12 jars, make a day out of going to pick it up. I will certainly try ARO jam if it ends up being sold in Canada.
“it’s literally 50 percent sugar and the fruit is boiled for so long that it must retain very little in the way of natural vitamins…”
Um…er…is there no way to sweeten jam with Splenda or other natural sweeteners? Heck, even Smuckers (a long-time American jam brand) has sugar-free options… Damn, these folks are worse than rock-stupid…🙄🙄
splenda is terrible for the gut microbiome, fwiw. some people can tolerate it but it made me very sick.
And jams are NOT all alike—-not even close!
Sykes was doing his damndest to sh*t all over the strawberry jam & the other guy was countering everything with no, this is actually brilliant marketing! Sykes is an idiot. And what’s with the ‘pallid’ American jellies comment? Maybe he doesn’t like Welch’s grape jelly? There are a gazillion different jam, jelly, preserve makers in the US. Pick up a jar, read the ingredients. Note the ones that have the fruit listed first, as @Teagirl mentions; skip the ones with high-fructose corn syrup.
Oh, and that crack about how stuff like this will silence people still whining about H&M paying their own way–gah! They continually skip right on over Harry’s gazillion-dollar selling memoir. They’re doing just fine. Turn your beady eyes to the ones hiding out & collecting 127k a day anyway.
All this free publicity will make that jam sell out in minutes. Thank you for continuing to talk about her brand and products BM. Nacho is the best brother and brother-in-law ever!!
I have the impression of hordes of zombified haters chanting “jam. Jam. Jam. Jam”. Yeah, that’s stuff is gonna sell.
I hate this: “The other thing is, jam is actually pretty far from being a healthy product. It has a lovely, homely appeal, but watching jam being made has the same effect as watching sausages being made; you realize, with horror, that it’s literally 50 percent sugar and the fruit is boiled for so long that it must retain very little in the way of natural vitamins…”
It. Is. Jam.
Not a moral stance. Meghan did not invent jam. She is not here to revolutionize how to make jam. Why are they holding Meghan to some invisible impossible standard? Why isn’t Charles’s jam being criticized for not providing the daily nutritional value to feed a family?
Oh right. Because she’s a Black woman.
Oh but ARO has opened the door for us as a society to deeply ponder and reassess the spiritual, ethical, geopolitical, anthropological, religious and health meaning of JAM. It’s the great jam awakening, ushered in by Meghan apparently. SOOOO many implications we’ve never considered before on such an important topic.
Ah yes, the anthropological and historical significance of jam. And really, Meghan is actually acting as a cultural ambassador of the British empire, bringing civilization and JAM to the colonies. Before this, Americans only had jellies, did you know? In fact, the British empire was the one to first come up with the idea of preserving fruit.
Truly amazing how these commentators still buy their own bullshit and continue to live with the delusion that the sun never sets on the British empire.
“the great jam awakening” 🤣🤣
And she hasn’t said a word. Imagine that.
50, that’s hilarious! especially as jellies are much harder to get to come out right. it’s a much fussier process. jam is homestyle fruit preserves. jelly is fancy!
Agreed. I commented about this on the other post. I’m sick of these ridiculous standards that Meghan has to appeal to every single aspect in every way. She has to somehow appeal to the ethical, moral, fashion, personality, taste, communication, and price aesthetics of everyone or it’s finger wagging. You’re going to vibe with some stuff ,some you won’t it’s impossible to be everything for everyone . I’m sick of even so called fans having these unrealistic expectations of absolute perfection. That being said Nacho is a fantastic friend and him and Delfina are what William and Kate could have been as supportive without being overwhelming if they weren’t jealous short sighted fools.
Exactly – you don’t have to like every single thing!
It is avocado 2.0. Since blaming her for all the environmental disasters by eating avocado really went so well for the media, they are repeating the same tactics with jams. I hope, we see Meghan eating avocado jam just for trolling purposes 😭😭
Even on the first post here about the jam, people were asking about where it was sourced, how sustainable was it, how eco-friendly, etc.
It’s JAM people!! and it looks like delicious jam. But the way Meghan is supposed to solve the jam industry’s sustainability issues is just ludicrous.
I do love how the person in this Daily Beast article keeps pushing back against Sykes though – “you can’t criticize this without criticizing the king” and talking about how brilliant a marketing strategy this is.
I’m surprised that Sykes actually published this, after he conducted the interview and Teeman spoke so positively about Meghan.
Though I would not be at all surprised if Meghan has come up with a way to make jam nutritious/keep its fruit vitamin value ..😉😉😎
This is all so ridiculous. The only thing that irritates me about their nonsense is their assumption that we don’t have good jam available in the US (which is also a ridiculous thing to be offended by). I’m willing to bet that the jams in regular grocery stores in the UK are just as pallid.
A jam product that bridges the Atlantic? What does that even mean? They have lost the plot.
It is beyond embarrassing for Sykes that he has fallen to debating jams. I love that for him.
GuestWho, I laughed when I read that–there is a very real “we are the best” and “empire” about some people in the UK. Geez, give it a rest. Do they even have any clue what’s sold here? Don’t get me started on anyone who makes it from scratch.
Did this Teemen guy just call Meghan’s jam launch camp? Lol, I kind of love that. He was pretty positive despite Sykes efforts to demean the jam. It’s all just so camp😂
Tim Teeman was definitely playing “good cop” there.
So, grumpy or not, the BM is definitely interested.
Are you kidding me? The BM will the first ones in line to buy the stuff when it finally launches. In fact, they’ll have their stories about the actual taste and texture pre-written long before the merchandise it available.
I’m just here to fangirl on Nacho’s grizzled chin and his beautiful white teeth tearing into that jam-laden toast. I’m never too old to admire a fine-looking man!
Yes. My only question raised is did Nacho get his own jar of jam, or is he sharing with his wife? Two of the very limited jars in their household? How dare!
Delfina’s jam was #10 so it looks like they just got one jar – so this post from him is completely 100% him trolling the british media. I love Nacho lol.
I 100% know he doesn’t mean it any kinda way because he loves his wife and respects Harry, but WHHHHHYYYY does “Did I tell you I love your jam?” absolutely make my body temp go up 10 degrees??? How has jam ever been this sexy?
Sex up the Jam! @nutella toast, feeling what you’re saying! The degrees go up higher because, well Nacho is hot. It’s also hot because Nacho has supported H&M and isn’t afraid to clapback at the spurious media stories.
Patrick J. Adams is a good looking guy. When he put out his tweets/screed against the nefarious British tabloids/media and others. His heat factor rose.imo I looked at him differently for standing up for Meghan. HAF. .
A reminder:
https://www.vulture.com/2021/03/patrick-j-adams-defends-meghan-markle-in-tweets.html
Back to Nacho, he essentially said Meghan is Jamenough. If not more. For one of his best friends, Prince Harry. If you want to know about Nacho & Delfi. Look up the video: Nacho & Delfi: Our Romance Story.
@DEBBIE, Remember how they all lined up and fought to get early copies of spare. My morphine addled brain and sence of humour, has a mental image of hundreds of the Rota 🐀🐀, lined up outside of a store in the US with spoons in their hands and bibs around their necks for when they start dribbling 😂
You’d better believe it!
They are so bitter and salty! They need to eat some jam and STFU.
LMAO.
I just saw a TikTok about how, if you remove London, the rest of England has the same per capita GDP as MISSISSIPPI. As in, there is horrific, entrenched, widespread poverty in England. Not really a good thing for our transatlantic ally, and not really a joking matter. But it does mean, alas, most Brits will not in fact be tasting Meghan’s Jam.
Who would have thought that the Daily Beast would devote space on their site for an indepth analysis of Meghan’s new brand? The jam did what Meghan and team wanted to happen which was to keep the brand in the public domain after the soft launch. I believe somebody saw the British press being outraged that Meghan could be selling jam and they decided to play along. I think it’s genius. The British press’ obsession with Meghan has allowed her to get free publicity for her brand.
The rota rats and entire British media seem to have lost their minds over JAM.
One thing this tells me, though, if all this coverage over Meghan and her jam (and ARO and her upcoming show and the polo fundraiser) hasn’t bought Khate out into the open, something is very much not right with her.
Agree @TigerMcQueen. It’s been almost 4 months of no real/official/nonfrankenphotoed sightings of Kate. It’s just odd. I think about our estate/business attorney who died of cancer over a decade ago. She made a point of contacting her clients that things weren’t looking good. Our local newspaper had an article about her wanting it to make known to her clients that she would be with them/us til the end. Her end. I bawled. Truly one of the warmest, kind, nonsensical and loving people I’ve met. She was a big deal in our area.
Whatever Kate’s true situation is, doesn’t merit the truth, to the public that fund her.
But, Meghan’s jam deserves a 1000 articles. There is trouble on Salty Island and their deflection starts with a J and ends with an M and gifts to 50 of a WOC friends. Pretty much how the BM works.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LI_Oe-jtgdI
This is absolutely WILD. Yes, Americans can FINALLY get a small taste of the famously delicious and uniquely British delicacy, JAM.
I have been to farmers markets all over the states and have had some delicious jams.. I have also been to England and had their jams including some that the BRF sells and I will take the farmers market jam every time over the British stuff, sorry. Meghan is a farmers market lover so I know her jams will be my kind of delicious without even tasting it.
The British press have now turned into a sick demented version of “Good Housekeeping” magazine. I truly hope she doesn’t offer shipping to England at least for the launch, make them work to get that jam.
Really Brits, the best jam is French anyway. Go get some Bonne Mamman and be happy. It would never occur to me to seek out British jam.
And that brand has a wonderful marmalade as well.
With love and respect to my British friends, no one thinks of Britain when they’re thinking of good food.
Right @Kate. Finally! We Americans (and everyone else) can get a taste of something “unique” to the UK-let’s pretend the UK didn’t co-opt another thing from POC. Like Meghan, woke up one day and said, “I’m sharing UK Jam.”. As if, this highly educated woman, didn’t know the history of jam.
Stevia is a thing. I’ve put it in teas. Bonne Mamman is good. One of my sister’s is better. She’s a beekeeper. Won’t share her tricks. Excellent balance of sweet and tart. Her raspberry lemon jam is awesome.imo
Tom Sykes is such a, well I can’t say it out loud. Anyway, go tend to your knitting and leave Meghan alone. Prince Pegs was actually outside, shouldn’t you be following him?
Tom, you’re such an idiot. The “big social media campaign” isn’t coming from Meghan, it’s coming from you and all the trolls like you.
Right @Erurydice, Meghan gave out 50 jars of her jam to friends. Meghan has said nothing. That her friends that have received her gift are sharing in on social media and everyone is looking for things Meghan related…. Do I believe that the moment the first person shared it on SM that it would be a big thing? Of course. I know people who’ve shared their homemade Christmas gifts to more than 50 people. Delicious things too. None of them made international headlines or were asked to provide ingredients or a back label.
I love making jam. I hope she does some more unusual flavours. My favourites to make are strawberry lavender, strawberry habanero and rhubarb Earl Grey tea.
I once made plum ginger jam with almonds. The plums were from my sister’s tree and the jam was sublime.
Yum—-one of summer’s coolest things are fresh plums. They make a delicious plum-thyme iced tea sweetened with honey…👍
Yes – to unusual flavours! I recently bought rhubarb & ginger, but it was neither rhubarby or gingery enough 😩
Is there such a thing as avocado jam or preserves? If so, I want her to make it. And send it to the RR. Possibly dosed with a laxative too. Because I am not all that mature and very petty. 🙂
I don’t know. If there was a way to ensure that derangers or BM tabloid affiliates would only gain access to a possible Minny’s Chocolate Pie Jam, sign me up on that petition. They would only be negative anyhow while licking every last drop out with their forked tongues.
Sykes was probably eating jam on toast while writing his bs.
The obsession is real.
What if Meghan is trolling the British tabloidz? This is not about jam. She is showcasing her line of kitchenware. Who would go bugnuts over a bowl? But jam, sure. Jokes on you, guys.
‘cadre of screaming banshees’ !!!
‘Congrats . . . you find her a fascinating enigma wrapped in a riddle, covered in artisanal jam’ !!!
The way you can turn a phrase, Kaiser – your written word music 🎶 – it’s kinda my jam.
#wherestheteawithjamandbreademojis
Nacho and jam, who knew they went together so well?
I hope Meghan Markle takes over the entire world with her jam. I truly do. I hope she makes eleventy billion dollars just off of her jam and uses the money to remodel her eleventy billion bathrooms. And after all that remodeling and jam eating, I pray she and Harry and their children life happily and SAFELY forever after. Amen.
Amen to that.
Tim is basically telling Tom that he’s a dope who doesn’t really understand anything. HILARIOUS!!
That bwoy tom sykes is such a stinking pick-me pretentious wimp. I despise him even more than I do Bully. And bully is way below 6-feet-under in my estimation.
Wtf did I just read? The woman made jam and gave it to some of her friends. That’s it . She did not make a toxic gas and released it out into the world to end us all . Tom shites is truly demented. These British media people have lost their f minds over jam . I hope Meghan and her jam go on to sell out worldwide and I hope she sends a press release to the British media saying thanks to you and your salty sour grapes asses, mama M will be having a very very very good year . Bye bit—ches.
Hey Tom, 🎶🙄megs is jamin, jamin, jamin jamin, and she don’t care if you are jamin too 🎶😂😂😂😂😂🐀
Love this! Bob Marley is a MUCH better mental soundtrack than the one I’ve been hearing as an accompaniment to these ARO posts. Lol
“There is not even a functioning website. When you go to the ARO website it just gets you to enter your email address for updates.”
Oh, for cryin’ out loud. They best tell all the major movie studios that it’s an audience-killer to announce an upcoming blockbuster title…then just have a space to fill in update info. 🙄
I don’t know who Tim Teeman is but he sounded more measured and was complimentary of Meghan’s jam launch while Tom Sykes was trying to find a way to successfully criticize Meghan giving jam to her friends and not doing a very good job. It’s hard to get outraged over jam. I dunno if I’ll buy ARO jam when it goes live, Bonne Maman is more of my jam (hahahaha I love this stupid pun!) and more mass market I know. But I’m loving seeing who the select 50 people were who received an ARO jam! Love Nacho’s trolling/support of the jam!
Oh man this is hilarious. What, three or four days now of the global media obsessively reporting on a few jars of jam?
It’s like the BM needs to justify their existence for the fear of getting Obsoleted(I wouldn’t be surprised if there are more layoffs in that industry).
Their headlines now are what’s going on across the pond 🇺🇸.