Everyone and their brother was at the Cloverfield premiere last night, so it’s kind of laughable to see Lindsay Lohan hamming it up as if she’s the shit. Her makeup is grungy and she’s looking old, but her hair looks gorgeous as usual. She probably spends over $500 a week on it.

Cloverfield is the new Godzilla meets Blair Witch movie that’s been generating a lot of buzz over the secrecy the filmmakers tried so hard to create. It’s getting mostly positive reviews and currently has a 71% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. One review that trashed it was so creative that I have to quote him though. I’m not saying this is a definitive review because I haven’t seen the film, he just gets points for describing his theater-going experience so clearly. Plus being subjected to Lindsay’s preening mug gives me a bad impression of the film and I’m more likely to believe the negative reviews:

“Cloverfield” combines unpleasantness and stupidity to a degree that would be difficult to match unless you were stuck in bed with a case of the shingles while being forced to watch “The Ghost Whisperer.”

As “The Blair Witch Project” meets “Godzilla” meets the Banana Republic catalog, I’m not sure who suffered more: the characters or me.

They: are being terrorized by a giant monster roaring through Manhattan, destroying buildings, knocking down bridges and playing shotput with the Statue of Liberty’s head.

I: was forced to write down page after page of dialogue like this: “What the hell was that?” “Oh, God, this is nasty!” “This is like a nightmare, you know?” After a monster tries to drag one of the screamers away, we get, “What’s up with that?” Someone who is bleeding from the eyeballs is asked, “Are you okay?” and one who has nearly been ripped apart alive in the last 30 seconds quips, “You’re saying this isn’t attractive looking?” Tell me, if everyone you knew were getting pulverized, would you pause to make a sarcastic crack about Garfield?

[Kyle Smith Online]

Here’s the trailer, and I’m inclined to believe it’s as annoying as this guy claims, but I have very little basis on which to make that decision. It’s possible that it’s good junk food horror and that the characters are deliberately stupid in a kind of parody of every other horror film. Whether they make it work or not is up to interpretation.

And here are pictures from the premiere featuring Lindsay and her hair, Pete Wentz and a redheaded Ashlee Simpson, Jennifer Morrison, Ashley Tisdale, Stacy Keibler, Kristin Cavallari, and Lauren Conrad. That Spencer Pratt guy and his fake girlfriend Heidi Montag were also there. Do those two always look the same or is it just me?