There really is a lowkey industry with nostalgia for JFK Jr. and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy. This summer will be the 25th anniversary of their deaths, and Elizabeth Beller has written a new book about them, Once Upon A Time: The Captivating Life of Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy. There are already tons of books about them, plus Instagram accounts devoted to Carolyn’s fashion and tons of articles about what this glamorous couple was “really” like. I think their marriage always captured people’s imaginations because Carolyn really was just a normal person – she wasn’t an Oscar-winning actress or a heart surgeon or an heiress. She just had a job in fashion and she lived and loved in New York, and “America’s prince” married her. Well, People continues to publish quotes from Beller and excerpts from her book. I already covered some of this last week, but here are some new pieces:
Carolyn was upset that John never introduced her to Jackie Kennedy: Bessette-Kennedy and John began dating, on and off, in the early ’90s. For some of that time, John was still seen publicly with girlfriend Daryl Hannah, with whom he broke up in 1994. Bessette-Kennedy wasn’t pleased about the overlap, nor about the fact that she was not able to meet the former First Lady. “Carolyn became increasingly irked that he wouldn’t introduce her to his mother,” writes author Elizabeth Beller. “‘I took him to meet my mom,’ Carolyn told a friend.”
At the time, John was focused on launching his magazine George: “I think it was hard for him to take anything other than his work too seriously at that moment,” Beller says. “If Carolyn met Jackie, I think he knew that that would sort of become a life of its own. And maybe he wasn’t quite ready for that. I know that he did regret it. That’s one of the things that he said to several friends, one of his main regrets was not introducing the two of them.”
Carolyn dumped John a few times because he wouldn’t introduce her to Jackie: “The on, off-ness of their relationship between ’92 and ’94, partially, was sometimes off because [Bessette-Kennedy] would break up with him over the fact that he wasn’t introducing her to Jackie,” Beller says. “[She was] thinking, ‘This can’t be serious if he’s not really introducing me to his mother.’ Carolyn wasn’t going to put up with anything like that. One has to protect oneself.”
Carolyn wasn’t much of a cook: “She had one recipe… and it was how to make a roast chicken, and otherwise they would order out,” Beller tells PEOPLE. “It was often Kentucky Fried Chicken when they would order out.” Carolyn’s small culinary repertoire was not for a lack of trying, Beller explains. She reveals in the book that the fashion icon once wanted to reach out to Martha Stewart for cooking tips. The Los Angeles Times reported in 1996 that she did in fact call on Stewart for culinary and decorating advice.
The fact that Carolyn wasn’t much of a cook isn’t surprising – she was a fashion girl in New York in the ‘90s. Some people would say that her diet probably consisted of alcohol, cigarettes and cocaine. What I don’t believe is that she was a regular at KFC! Please, with all of the restaurants and delis in New York? No.
As for the thing about Carolyn never meeting Jackie… I remember people made a big deal about that at the time, especially when John proposed to Carolyn soon after Jackie’s death. Like… he did that on purpose. Probably because he thought they wouldn’t have gotten along. And he was probably right?
Photos courtesy of Avalon Red, Cover Images.
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- New York, NY – 03/09/1999 – John Kennedy Jr and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, arrive at the Whitney Museum Annual Fundraising Gala. GE3326AO Featuring: John Kennedy Jr and Carolyn Bessette Kennedy Where: New York , USA When: 31 Dec 1999 Credit: STARTRAKSPHOTO.COM
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- New York, NY – 6/03/1998 -PICTURED: John F. Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Kennedy -PHOTO by: STARTRAKSPHOTO.COM -Kennedy_John_Carolyn_GE515 Featuring: Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, John F. Kennedy Jr Where: New York , NY , USA When: 22 Jan 1998 Credit: STARTRAKSPHOTO.COM
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- Carolyn Bessette Kennedy and John F. Kennedy Jr photographed in New York, NY – 6/23/1998. -PICTURED: Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, John F. Kennedy Jr -PHOTO by: STARTRAKSPHOTO.COM -Kennedy_John_Carolyn_GE513 Featuring: Carolyn Bessette Kennedy, John F. Kennedy Jr Where: New York , NY , USA When: 22 Jan 1998 Credit: STARTRAKSPHOTO.COM
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- October 5, 1998: John Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette leaving their apartment to attend the Municipal Art Society Benefit Gala celebrating the reopening of Grand Central Station after restoration in New York City. Credit: Paul Adao/INFphoto.com Ref.: infusny-39 Featuring: Carolyn Bessette, John Kennedy Jr. Where: New York City, New York, United States When: 05 Oct 1998 Credit: Paul Adao/INFphoto.com
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- October 5, 1998: John Kennedy Jr. and Carolyn Bessette leaving their apartment to attend the Municipal Art Society Benefit Gala celebrating the reopening of Grand Central Station after restoration in New York City. Credit: Paul Adao/INFphoto.com Ref.: infusny-39 Featuring: Carolyn Bessette, John Kennedy Jr. Where: New York City, New York, United States When: 05 Oct 1998 Credit: Paul Adao/INFphoto.com
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- JOHN F KENNEDY JR AND CAROLYN BESSETTE STOCK IMAGE. NEW YORK CITY. CIRCA 1990S. PICTURES /
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- CAROLYN BESSETTE AT ‘BRITE NITE WHITNEY’ WHITNEY MUSEUM OF AMERICAN ART’S KICK OFF PARTY FOR THE MILLENNIUM IN NEW YORK. /
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- JOHN F KENNEDY JR AND CAROLYN BESSETTE STOCK IMAGE. NEW YORK CITY. CIRCA 1990S .PICTURES DENNIS VAN TINE
Jackie didn’t like anyone he dated, primarily as they were mostly actresses / models – I read somewhere she wanted him to marry a society girl who came from the right family etc… as he wanted him to follow his father into politics thou not sure how true that was. He hated politics and wanted to be an actor.
I mean … if you are in a serious relationship, you explain to that person why you aren’t introducing them to your family. “My mother has been deeply unkind to my girlfriends in the past and has said things that hurt them deeply. I don’t want to lose you and you meeting her won’t be the ideal MiL meeting you hope it will be. She will try to make us break up. Please don’t make me have to worry about losing you to her efforts”
Like. Communicate that.
For me- my family is completely toxic, a hotbed of conspiracy theories and maga loving self obsessed a holes.
I would just say – this is who my family is. This is why you won’t be meeting them. I haven’t seen or spoken to them since X time. If you feel that all families deserve forgiveness and a place in your life, go ahead and call them. But my lived experiences not being enough for you to support my decision about my family is a deal breaker and we would be done. I won’t be changing my mind on this so if it doesn’t sit well with you- there’s the door.
I agree with this…If he explained and she never accepted it or if he never explained, then I really wonder about them, the couple. Also this sort of reminds me of what I always think Harry did to Meghan. He never explained much to her about his unusual and miserable family until he really had to. How could he wait until she was about to meet the QEII to rush teach her how to curtsey, for example. It was like he would ambush her alot. But maybe it is bc he refuses to believe orsee the real Firm and family he was part of. He still believes fully in the monarchy anyways.
It sounds like Jackie was extremely controlling and John was trying to break away from that. He just did it in the wrong ways.
@Megan—not surprising she’d be overprotective. Didn’t she marry Onassis because he was rich enough to provide serious protection for her and the children?
Jackie was a concerned mother. She had to care for 2 kids after her husband was assassinated and both of turned out pretty well.
I’m beginning to wonder about this book. Does it just trash everybody involved? None of these people were known as horrid people in their day. I’d hate to have my own dating history aired for public consumption, after I was dead.
That said, it is a red flag is your boyfriend doesn’t want you to meet his mother. She was right to ask why.
I believe the KFC story because Carole Radziwill wrote how they would eat Spagethios cold right of the can or go to Wendy’s. Jfk Jr treated her so inexcusably bad though, once ushering her out through the back door of a restaurant when he realized Jackie was there!
I remember reading that, too– & it was during their stay in DC while Carole’s husband was undergoing cancer treatment. PopTarts may have been on the morning menu.
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Carole also wrote of Anthony taking her to meet his famous aunt for dinner – at her 1040 Fifth Ave apt, no less – “Oh, you must be cold” Jackie answering the door on that frigid evening. It no doubt frustrated Carolyn that her close friend was introduced, but John held back. And that may have been because Caroline was also not enthusiastic about John’s choice. At the Schlossberg apartment for another occasion w/ Anthony, when Carole suggested the on/off couple might get back together & eventually marry she wrote the room got frosty real quick.
Formal and informal aristocracies don’t take kindly to outsiders, then and now.
I dont go to KFC anymore, but in the 90s as a pre-teen/teen, it was the thing in NY! Does anyone remember those tiny chicken sandwiches with mayo they used to have? They were the BEST!
Cold spaghetti-O’s out of the can was a regular meal for me in my 20s.
She was famously quoted as telling him ” We had to wait for your Mom to die before we got married, we’ll wait for mine to die before we divorce.” I’m thinking that being married to him was probably really hard, press interruption and the burden of that name.
He just sounds like a terrible partner; it seems like in their relationship it was always his way, his career, what he expected of her and she had to put up with it. It makes me feel sorry for her that she ended up settling for a guy that was never going to commit to her completely. It doesn’t matter how handsome, rich or influential he was if he was a self-absorbed jerk.
He seemed like that for sure…even the venue the chapel where they got married seemed all about his desires than hers.
Ugh—his way or the highway? No man is worth that. 😡🤮
Yea he probably knew it wouldn’t go well. I had a friend in a similar situation, and when she finally met the mother – *whew* it was clear her partner was trying to protect her and him both.
I mean if I was dating someone for a few years and they made it a thing not to introduce me to their mom, I’d be annoyed. I get that it was Jackie but I’d be thinking that the relationship wasn’t that serious.
Same. If a man (presuming that they are not estranged) doesn’t let me meet his family and friends (this includes his mother) after a couple of years, then that is a major red flag. If they have no relationship, then that’s different, but something wasn’t right.
everyone who crushed on him seems to have dodged a bullet
someone I know was a waitress who waited on him and a girl who he took to a public restaurant to break up and it was a small place and everyone heard the whole thing
Brooke Shields recently revealed her unpleasant date with him in Aspen back in the day. He basically turned icy and became disinterested when she wouldn’t sleep with him on the first date. He certainly isn’t the first guy to do this, but what a jerk move.
I am pretty hopeful that he matured past that behavior and I do believe he was a decent guy with a good heart overall, but he clearly wasn’t perfect at times. And probably was a challenging partner given his complicated life.
God she was beautiful. Like Princess-Diana-level beautiful. Like a statue instead of a person.
Really? IMO her nose is too long for true beauty. But striking? Yes, she was that.
I will take striking any day over just beautiful. Sometimes it’s hard to tell the classic beauties apart. (Eg- Jamie Presley and Margot Robbie )
@VespaRed, oh agree 💯
Beauty can fade. Striking faces remain striking as they age.
Just because she doesn’t have a perfect little pixie nose doesn’t mean she isn’t beautiful. Sometimes having a quirky, unusual face is wayyyy more attractive than cookie-cutter good looks. Diana is a perfect example. Her face is breathtaking.
I really dont think either is attractive just thin and white
The thing is, we don’t know whether they had such discussion, and to which extent he conveyed clearly or she was ready to accept that it was overall for the best that she didn’t meet Jackie for the time being.
Most young men would feel embarrassed to admit not being able to be fully respected by a mother. Most young women would feel not valued enough -and rightly so- if a bf continuously refuses an introduction to his family.
A narcissistic person, or someone who’s simply used to be liked and sought after in social circles (as they both were) can take opposition or rejection very hard.
By all accounts, Jackie was a controlling, terrible MIL. G*d knows her marriage to JFK wasn’t a walk in the park, and then there was his horrible death which she witnessed. Most likely, she felt anyone getting close to JJ wanted to cause him or the Ks harm in some way. JJ took SJP to meet Jackie, who told her plainly that she was not the right fit for her son and that they’d never marry. Madonna tells a similar anecdote.
Jackie never met Carolyn so can hardly be called a terrible mother-in-law. She was just fine with Caroline’s Jewish husband, for instance.
Can’t say I’d want my son to marry Madonna!
I mean she wasn’t some poor shop girl that grabbed the brass ring. She came from a wealthy Connecticut family. Her stepdad was a surgeon. She had all the bells and whistles for someone like John to want to marry. Intelligence, grace, style, beauty, and an electric personality. This woman had it all.
To be fair, while they met in 1992, they didn’t start dating until 1994. The year Jackie died. And she died from cancer she was probably in too frail of health to entertain anyone. And we know how private she was.
IIRC, it was early Feb in ’94 when I heard on one of those network morning shows that she had been diagnosed. Her health declined rapidly, she died May 19th. [can’t believe it’s been 30yrs now]
Jackie was diagnosed with lymphoma in November ’93 after falling from a horse. The doctor who examined her after the accident noticed swollen lymph nodes and did a biopsy. It’s likely the cancer had already spread by then and she only had six months. It’s possible that JFK Jr thought he had plenty of time to figure out his relationships before introducing Carolyn to his mother, but Jackie succumbed so quickly.
Carolyn wasn’t a model or an actress. She had an actual job and came from a respectable family. I don’t know why Jackie would object. I mean, she married Ari Onassis. Now that’s objectionable.
And lets not forget, Jackie stole Aristotole Onassis from her sister Lee!
I mean Jackie had no problem getting in the mud for the money. It’s not like she could look down on Carolyn for any reason. I suspect, a part of why John fell in love with Carolyn is a personality similiarity to his Mother.
Just to be clear, models and actresses have jobs too but not the kind Jackie would find acceptable. Carolyn’s job seems less objectionable.
Jackie was a very complicated woman, to say the least. Highly intelligent and well read, she could be a narrow minded snob. But I have always sympathized with her because I know she had PTSD after the assassination. Who wouldn’t? Still, she never really understood that her son was not blessed with the great gifts her husband had and kept trying to remake him in his father’s image.
Part of the reason Jackie married Ari was to get her kids out of the country and to protect them. Bobby’s assassination really threw her for a loop according to various accounts. I think her quote was something like “if they’re killing kennedys, mine are sitting ducks”. It wasn’t as simple as “getting in the mud for money.”
Jackie was a pretty complication woman and I think Brassy Rebel was right about the PTSD. She was the one who pushed the Camelot narrative and probably wanted to see JFK Jr continue that.
Co-sign w/ Becks1. My POV is that Ari liked collecting notable women & stringing them along — as he did w/ Lee & Maria Callas for all those years. He probably thought the Kennedy family influence would nix any potential of coupling w/ the family’s tragic widow.
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But then Bobby was assassinated. ’68 was a politically turbulent year which probably created a shift in both their camps. It no doubt puffed him up to know that his wealth & offer of protection was enough to have Jackie buck that powerful family’s objections. I think Ted was the only one who attended the Greek wedding. The rest of the compound was said to be appalled.
Jackie was quoted as saying “You marry your first husband for love, your second husband for money, and your third husband for companionship.” That’s exactly what she did: Aristotle for money and her third partner, the married Maurice Tempelsman, for companionship.
Listen, I rarely eat KFC but when I did babee…it hit the spot. I bought this book and am reading it right now. The narrative around her was steeped in misogyny and I think it’s important to have a book that centers Carolyn.
I sense the author is expanding the junk food anecdotes to give the reader some junk food gossip sourced via that old game of telephone. NGL, it *does* sound like the perfect book to read while noshing on some KFC … followed by a roll of raw cookie dough.
I think John had a much more serious learning disability than we ever knew. He was always trying to cope and be the son his mother always wanted and the brother his sister always wanted. But he never could measure up. When he crashed the plane, he was in a very bad place. Both his magazine and his marriage were failing and he was arrogant enough to be amazed by this, despite his many challenges because of his disability. He actually told the instructor who offered to fly with him, “I want to do this alone.” He was in no condition (physical or mental) to fly that night on top of his lack of instrument certification. But he was trying to prove something. All he proved was that he could not overcome his limitations despite his name and privilege. And he killed three people, including himself, in the process.
I will never ever understand people who pull this crap on their kids. ☹️ It sets the latter up for a lifetime of misery. And the “be best” goalpost always changes, so they never “catch up.”
I am an only child and so was my father. My father has called all my boyfriends losers (mostly due to their lack of wealth or accomplishments) and only liked the last one “a bit”. I have a trust fund that will continue once my parents are deceased. He is a New Yorker but has become more of a Trump supporter as he ages and is able to look past some of the things he says and says he needs to learn to shut his mouth. He also hangs out with lower middle class Republicans, but has much higher expectations for me given I am educated, a Democrat, move in educated circles etc. I doubt I would introduce someone to my father at this point unless we were close to being engaged and I am 43! If Jackie was like my dad, I don’t blame JFK Jr from introducing her.
So much conjecture from people who likely never knew either of them. Caroline Kennedy will never talk, Carolyn Bessette’s family never will either and I don’t know, I get the fascination but also people still trying to make a buck off of it?
But…my JFK, Jr. story. He spoke at a family member’s college graduation the summer he passed; may have been his last public speech. Because my relative was on the planning committee we got to go to the reception to meet him. 1-in person holy heck was he good looking! 2-he was also very personable, approachable and friendly. 3-the other speaker was Carl Bernstein and surprisingly JFK Jr was better, more relevant in his remarks and just seemed to be happy to be there.
My JFK, Jr story. Early nineties, I was walking south on Fifth Avenue on a warm, cloudy day. Coming towards me I spotted 5 men wearing trenchcoats and sunglasses, which seemed very odd given the weather. In the center was JFK, Jr, so these were Secret Service agents. On reflection I realized he must have been walking to his mother’s apartment. What really surprised me was how goofy he was! Given his looks, I expected him to be poised, suave and sophisticated in movement. He seemed like a gawky adolescent – I couldn’t believe it! Of course the Kennedys were not aristocratic. It just really surprised me – but handsome, yes!
Isn’t it always better to find out what people who were actually close to them thought? I recommend again to watch The Lost Wedding Tapes (free on you tube) – a documentary about JFK jr’s best friends reminiscing about their secret wedding. They talk to his actual close friends and colleagues and people who were involved in the wedding etc. His closest friends seemed to respect and admire Carolyn a lot – all spoke highly of her. Some of the journalists consulted towards end of the documentary mention how she was purposely cast into the role of villainess in the relationship because it played into expected social standards of misogyny. I’m sure she wasn’t perfect but she WAS very interesting. Very stylish people are mesmerizing, it’s an art form. Their deaths remain a sad loss for the world.
Carole Radziwill’s book What Remains is a good source as well. Cousins Anthony & John were so very close, so as Anthony’s wife, she had tremendous access. Her journalism background, particularly the documentary side, is evident in her writing of their world.
I get the impression that Jackie was ultra-protective of JFK Jr because he was her baby, especially after the loss of an infant in August 1963 followed shortly by the JFK assassination. Maybe that’s why Jr didn’t feel ready to introduce his girlfriend to his mother. It’s a shame, because I get the sense that Jackie would have liked Carolyn.
Thank you for covering this! Carolyn was so enigmatic, mysterious, and alluring. She truly had a fascination about her – and I think she had it despite who she married.
I recommend you guys read Christina Haag’s book. She knew JFK Jr. growing up in NYC and then began dating him when they went to Brown University. I believe she dated him before he started dating Daryl Hannah. She really sheds light on John and that period of his life. She also knew Jackie well and stayed in touch with her after the breakup.
This Vanity Fair story gives us a more sympathetic look at one & all, including Jackie and Carolyn. I see both Carolyn and John as very young, perhaps at a bad juncture in their lives, but capable of succeeding in the end–together or not.
https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2019/07/inside-the-struggle-of-john-f-kennedy-jr-american-prince
The VF story is an excerpt from a book written by 4 friends of John’s “From Four Friends: Promising Lives Cut Short by William D. Cohan.
Oddly, enough, this book has John still with Darryl Hannah at the time of Jackie’s death. John meets Carolyn (whom everybody likes) after that. Not sure that’s right.