By now, you’re all probably familiar with Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker’s super problematic commencement speech at Benedictine College, a conservative Catholic college. The tl;dr is that he thinks women belong in the kitchen with a baby (or two or three or four) on their hips, that we need to “fight against the cultural emasculation of men,” and that the LGBTQ+ community engages in “deadly sin.” This dude sounds like a real drag at parties. People had a lot to say about his terrible views. Even nuns took issue with it.
Given that a line from Taylor Swift’s “Bejeweled” was quoted during Butker’s address, I think people were anticipating what his teammate, Travis Kelce, would have to say about it. During the May 24 episode of their New Heights podcast, Travis and his big brother Jason stressed that while they disagreed with Butker’s views, they were unsurprised given the setting and maintained that at the end of the day, he’s entitled to his beliefs. Travis also stated that Butker is a nice person who treats people with respect. Jason agreed with Travis’ thoughts and stressed that “not everybody has to be a homemaker if that’s not what they want to do in life.” And while that may sound like a safe, noncontroversial comment, the Internet decided to call Jason a hypocrite because they consider his wife Kylie to be a homemaker (and a terrible one at that). So, Jason responded to one such comment to say that Kylie is no tradwife and that he and Kylie are “equals” in their marriage.
“I don’t think of Kylie as a homemaker, I think of her as my wife,” Jason explained on X, formerly known as Twitter, May 27. “I think of her as a mother. She has an occupation, as do I, and we keep our house the best we can. Our marriage is a partnership, we are equals who are figuring it out on the daily. The only expectation is that we love each other, support one another, and are committed to our family, that comes first.”
“We both raise our kids, we both work, we both keep our home,” he continued. “It is both our faults it is messy, but such is life with 3 young children, busy schedules, and neither of us being neat freaks. She also makes a mean sandwich.”
While clarifying how his and Kylie’s marriage works, he added that he doesn’t expect it to be the same for everyone.
“If being a homemaker, works for some, and that’s what they want, then hell yea, that’s awesome, more power to you,” he noted. “I want to be clear, I’m not downplaying that at all, but that is not our family dynamic.”
During the May 24 episode of Jason and younger brother Travis Kelce’s podcast, New Heights, the brothers disagreed with Harrison’s sentiments but noted that everyone is entitled to their beliefs.
“Make no mistake about it, a lot of the things he said in his commencement speech are not things that I align myself with,” Jason—who shares daughters Wyatt, 4, Elliotte, 3, and Bennett, 15 months with Kylie—emphasized. “But, he’s giving a commencement speech at a Catholic university, and, shocker, it ended up being a very religious and Catholic speech.”
“To me,” the 36-year-old continued, “I can listen to somebody talk and take great value in it, like when he’s talking about the importance of family and the importance that a great mother can make, while also acknowledge that not everybody has to be a homemaker if that’s not what they want to do in life.”
Good for Jason for saying it loud and proud that he and Kylie are equal partners who are in it together. More men need to shout that out to drown out the voices of those right-wing trolls. Since the Tweet that Jason responded to is almost certainly a bot, I took a gander around his recent posts to see how much of a cesspool it was. While there were actual human posters defending Butker’s honor (eye roll) in the replies, there were a lot more people calling out their BS, which was nice to see. I can’t imagine how stressful and annoying it must be to have those MRA jackasses coming to your timeline to try to pull a “gotcha.” It’s never the best and brightest, and it’s always the whiny ones who can dish it but never take it. Oh, and as for what Jason and Travis said about Butker being a good guy? Yeah, I call BS on that. He’s been out there, doubling down on what he said and playing the victim, claiming that people hate his “timeless Catholic values.” Gimme a break, bro. You have every right to say that crap and we have every right to tell you that you’re an a-hole.
Meanwhile, Jason proved just how equal they are when he let Kylie take care of business after some lady started harassing them for not wanting to take a picture with her while they were out on a date night. The woman tried to tell Kylie that she and Jason would never be welcome in Sea Isle City again, so she told her, “I can smell the alcohol on your breath, you’re embarrassing yourself.” Yeah, I wouldn’t mess with Kylie.
Responding to this, because I have seen a number of people say it. I don’t think of Kylie as a homemaker, I think of her as my wife. I think of her as a mother. She has an occupation, as do I, and we keep our house the best we can. Our marriage is a partnership, we are equals… https://t.co/TnNsTW4o4B
— Jason Kelce (@JasonKelce) May 27, 2024
DISGUSTING: A lady demanded a photo with #Eagles legend Jason Kelce and his wife Kylie, she politely said they were are on a date, and the CRAZY FAN WENT OFF ON THEM 😳😳😳
SO KYLIE GET IN HER FACE AND GAVE HER A LESSON ON MANNERS
‼️‼️‼️
pic.twitter.com/OXrjGpHkpF— MLFootball (@_MLFootball) May 28, 2024
photos via Instagram/Kylie Kelce and Getty
I’m Catholic and was never taught my place is the home/kitchen. On the contrary, I was taught my place was whatever I wanted it to be.
Butker is an ass and his beliefs have nothing to do with catholicism but misoginy and toxic masculinity.
Exactly, Cee. I was raised Catholic, and women are definitely not equal to men (priesthood is exhibit A), but it’s not Catholic to take women out of the workplace.
Some here. Completely agree with both of you! There are many liberal Catholics who found his message abhorrent
Same. I was raised very Catholic and very liberal. Ime even the priests stayed away from the sexist and anti-contraception/abortion teachings—either because the priests themselves didn’t believe that stuff, or they didn’t think it was worth the pushback they’d get if they told Catholic families women are supposed to stay home and have 9 kids. No one wanted to hear that (and most people couldn’t afford to do that, even in the 1980s).
Jason and Travis likely wanted to say more about Butker, but at the end of the day Travis is on a team with him and can’t air his full opinion.
Like the nuns that came out to refute Butker, I don’t think what he said was a religious belief, it was plain misogyny hiding behind religion.
But, then they didn’t have to say nice things about him either. How he is nice to them isn’t related to his misogyny because if they were women, he wouldn’t have. They are trying to play both sides, so they don’t lose any money.
You’re right. They didn’t need to say he’s nice. Just because he’s “nice” to men he works with doesn’t make him a good person.
I agree, sevenblue. Too many footballers and others are trying to center Butker’s comments around his “love” of family and are defending him as someone who sees the importance of family. It’s garbage. They need to stop trying to play both sides and just condemn the remarks for the hatred that they embodied.
@sevenblue, exactly… they are greedy bores.
Yes Jason was going to say something and Travis is on same team so had to shut up. Glad Jason handled it!
Is this the clean-up? Because the very first video I saw from their podcast, he talked about how worried and upset his wife was about that dumbass’s speech and Jason made a joke out of it: go to the kitchen and make me a sandwich or smt like that. They were joking and laughing around.
No, and you are mixing up the set up the joke as fact. That was part of the joke Kylie was upset about his comments and he said Hey you need to go into the kitchen and make me sandwich. I am trying to watch the game.
He was pointing out the absurdity of Harry’s views. That’s what made it funny the ridiculousness of it.
It’s when people take it out of context and twist it that it becomes an issue.
Thanks, Flamingo. You have it exactly right. I watched the entire podcast, and hilariously, as Jason made that joke, he kept his eye on the stairs, worried that Kylie might appear and tear him a new one.
Travis reminded him that Kylie owns a sword (an anniversary gift from Jason) and would be unafraid to use it.
You just repeated what I wrote, I also said he made a joke out of it. The issue is this isn’t something to make a joke about. Why is make-me-a-sandwich still funny? Especially now there is a serious movement to take away all the progress made?
That’s the point Sevenblue. If you can’t see it, I don’t know how to explain it to you.
I see your point, @Flamingo. I am saying in 2024, “it is just a joke” isn’t an excuse about repeating the most misogynistic line and laughing about it like you made the best joke of your life.
yes, that’s why they made it clear Jason was going to get the Princess Kyana sword. She wouldn’t put up with that.
This is what happens when you cherry pick and don’t listen for or understand context and just want to be mad. It was a joke after a long and pretty balanced discussion. It was very clear if you listened to the entire thing they were trying to get through a conversation where they disagreed with the guy without causing issues on the team. I also think Travis and Jason are now hyper aware they have a lot more eyes on them so they were being extra careful to not try and make the issue bigger.
Jason also made a wonderful point how if his daughters were in that stadium graduating and actually listened to what this idiot (my words not Jason’s ) said about what they should be doing then he Jason failed as a father, because one person’s dumbass opinion should never stop you from going after what you want.
And then he made a joke, and yes it was funny in context. I swear social media and its cherry picking random clips, lyrics, or quotes without context to get people upset and people then refusal to actually do the necessary research to understand what is happening is ruining culture, art, and our ability to have conversations.
Dealing with Butker’s problematic views was an 8 minute segment. Travis rejected all of Butker’s opinions if you listen to all of it. Jason too, but he made a joke.
“ Travis also stated that Butker is a nice person who treats people with respect. Jason agreed with Travis’ thoughts and stressed that “not everybody has to be a homemaker if that’s not what they want to do in life.” ”
I dislike Travis’ answer, because the whole point of HB’s speech is that he does NOT treat everyone with respect!! HB is NOT a nice person. He’s nice to Travis and sadly Travis is okay with that.
Right? Like, this creep wasn’t up there telling graduates men should have no rights. Pretty sure if a woman had told graduates men shouldn’t have the rights that came with working outside of the home (credit? Mortgage?), they wouldn’t be so quick to defend her as someone who treats people with respect.
Travis went on at length that he didn’t share any of Butker’s views. There’s more than what’s exerpted here. Butker’s views were very much rejected.
Truthiness, I understand that Travis and his brother are not the same as HB in their respective views on women. And it is in no way wrong that they clearly stated that. That part is good.
Where I take issue is those sentences I quoted above.
My child came out at 13 and we had to change schools from the public school they attended. I was shocked by how many people there were intolerant. I was also disappointed in how many people said the right thing (like the Kelces), but then used similar “but they’re nice people” language to describe the kids (and parents) who bullied my child. That language, though a small part of what they said, negates HB, the Chiefs, the NFL from having to apply consequences.
To put it into a different perspective, it’s like a guy saying that he’s a father of daughters so he could never [fill in the blank]. Or someone who cheated on his wife using said wife to have a loving photo op.
And I have a green card in an area that voted heavily for the far right and populists. It’s amazing how many “nice” people there are around here, and I find it upsetting that many Dutch people don’t see when their loved ones say something really xenophobic.
I don’t know if I’m describing how I feel in a way you can understand what I mean, but I think he should call out HB’s stance without saying that the man is nice or respectful. Because HB’s views are against the Constitution, they aren’t really nice or respectful to people without penises.
Yep. Talk about cherry picking, the people defending the Kelces are part of the problem in this equation. It stinks of low social and emotional IQs.
What about Colin Kaepernick’s beliefs? He lost his job but white guy Harrison is protected. I call bullcrap.
He’s protected since his views align with the NFL and the team owners. Big difference.
Colin got thrown to the wolves for doing the right thing.
In other words, protesting police violence against black communities is bad but making women stay home to cook and clean is a-ok. I hope Taylor Swift dumps that drunken jackass. I hope Harrison Buthole gets booed every time he sets foot on the field. It’s like the NFL is stuck in the 1950’s.
@MsLove – “that drunken jackass” was one of the players who kneeled in solidarity with Kaep
MSLove, Travis joined the kneeling protests when they were happening. Both brothers said the only remarks they agreed with were that family is important, both emphasized that their mom worked full time and made their home, as did their dad (worked full time and helped make their home what it was).
I’m glad it seems I’m the only one who’s ever had to work with a holes that I didn’t agree with, because this is exactly the line you have to walk.
@Minniemouse He only knelt once, big deal.
@MSLove
I mean when kneeling once is putting your job on the line it’s a pretty big deal.
Travis Kelce can prance around paying lip service to BLM and taking a knee to show support, but at the end of the day he will always keep his job, because he’s white. The rules are different when you’re a person of color.
The owners of NFL are old white men. They don’t give a sh*t about black people and women.
yup, and from what I have read ALL the NFL owners collectively agreed to ban Colin from joining another NFL team. But if he talked about babies and cooking. He would have been welcome back with open arms.
The NFL also doesn’t have a problem with soliciting sex, just ask Robert Kraft. What a fun organization!
@roots, wahhh, he’d lose his cush job (doubtful) and be gobbled up by another team with even lower concerns for anyone not white
And Travis was one of the first white players to kneel as well so he supported Colin. The ownership of the NFL is disgusting but that is on them not the players.
I don’t remember Travis or Jason Kelce publicly declaring Colin Kaepernick a nice guy when he was protesting. They had no problem rushing out to vocally support Harrison Buthole. Nice guys don’t make their wives stay home to cook &clean.
I grew up Catholic in the 80’s and 90’s (including Catholic school) and while there were plenty of teachings I don’t agree with, I never once heard this level of regressive bullshit, so I’m a bit irritated to hear Butker’s nonsense just being called “Catholic”. It’s way outside mainstream Catholic views.
However, to folks who may not know this, do not fuck around with women from Philly, because you WILL find out in short order. Kylie is such a badass, I’d totally hang out with her.
I grew up in a family with a mix of people were Catholic & others who were Evangelical. Butlers beliefs seemed more aligned with hardcore Evangelicals than the Catholics. Not even mainstream Evangelicals the hardcore ones who basically never interacted with people outside of their church bubble unless they were forced to.
Like the Catholics in my family (especially the older ones) had issues with sexism and homophobia etc… and were conservative. But the wives had jobs, their daughters went to university and have careers.
I don’t live in the US so maybe it’s different there. I just associate his explicit fixation on women being homemakers defined by marriage with fundamentalist Christianity as opposed to mainstream Catholicism.
Yes, my biggest surprise about this whole thing is that Butker is Catholic not evangelical based on what he said. I grew up southern Baptist, pretty mainline, and this was the background of everything I heard in the 90s. Nothing he said would be wild at Liberty university. Hateful awful misogynist.
There’s a growing faction of conservative Catholics out there that want to take things back to the Dark Ages. Think of the Catholics on the Supreme Court, former AG Bill Barr, Steve Bannon. Harrison Butthurt seems to fall into this camp, which is quite sad given that he is young and brought up with access to great education.
@Kittenmom, “the Catholics on the Supreme Court” include Sotomayor — the senior liberal justice on the current Court” — who is very much NOT trying “to take things back to the Dark Ages”.
She’s from the Main Line, a very far cry from Philly. Very very far cry. She went to Cabrini, again, not in Philly. She’s a suburbanite, through and through.
When you are in a winning team, it’s easy to overlook these “poison” talking points and behaviors.
“Travis also stated that Butker is a nice person who treats people with respect.” Sure, sure, Travis, as long as the people are either of the same “faith” as Butk3r or his Chief teammates (as long as they’re winning). These NFL millionaires will always cover up for each other, because, you know, TEAM. Just like the Blue Line in the police.
He also called The Taylor Swift, “my teammate’s girlfriend”. He respects them because they are men who are good at their jobs. I wonder how he treats the women working in the NFL on professional level. Does he also show any respect to them or make sure they know he disapproves of the fact that they are working outside of a kitchen with little “jokes”?
Calling Swift “my teammate’s girlfriend” IS a put down. She has a name, she is a (famouse, accomplished) woman, not just someone’s girlfriend like a decorative piece to show off on your arm.
@SEVENBLUE You raised a good point. I wonder how he treats trainers, equipment persons, cheerleaders, janitors, etc?
Coach Reid responded that Butker has never disrespected the women working in their organization and their life choices and that if he did it would not be tolerated.
Kylie Kelce is a queen.
Imagine telling her that she won’t ever be able to show her face in Margate (the beach town where they were) as she schools you on your behavior. And as Jason Kelce stands a few feet away, supremely confident that his wife can take care of the deranged and entitled woman who demanded a photo with them.
The Kelces own a house on the Jersey shore. They could rule all the local beach towns as fiefdoms if they so chose.
Jason knows he married up when he married Kylie, and they seem to genuinely respect and love each other. #PhillyGirls
Did you see the mayor of the town issued them an apology and offered to buy then dinner? I thought she handled that with a lot of class but showed her Philly girl. I can’t imagine what got into that woman’s head who yelled at them. Em
Kylie Kelce is my boo. She’s built Eagles tough. She was meant to be with the birds haha. Go awf girlie pop! #FlyEaglesFly
Us Eagles fans are already dragging that lady on Facebook, and of course she was a member of an Eagles fan page I’m also a member of. People call themselves “fans” and then act so entitled when they’re face to face with someone who DOESN’T EVEN KNOW WHO THEY ARE. I LOVE Jason Kelce, Jalen Hurts, Darius Slay, AJ Brown, Etc. but my god, if I saw them in public minding their business I WOULD NEVERRRRR. So rude!
Tbh Travis’ response was a bummer, but I also get what he was trying to do.
The Chiefs owners wife and daughter supported Butker, and so did Chris Jones and Mahomes mom. I can understand that he wasn’t trying to cause extra tension in the locker room, but saying Butker is a good person was a bad move.
@Rosie there is a debate if she said, “I can smell the alcohol on your breath, you’re embarrassing yourself.” OR “Save your breath, you’re embarrassing yourself.”
Just want to keep it fair to Kylie, who is a Queen and didn’t need her man standing way behind her to do anything or ‘save her’.
And I hope this crazy lady knows. Kylie has a sword, and she knows how to use it lol
Really?! I listened to the clip 4 times and heard alcohol each time! So funny how people can hear different things.
Just because Harrison treats his teammates with respect doesn’t make him a good person. His views are harmful and disgusting it’s amazing how because the chiefs are winning no one is willing to called this bullshit out a good person doesn’t tell a group of woman to stay home and have as many babies as possible a good person doesn’t say racist vile things about people of color and complain about people of color having opportunities a good person doesn’t say awful thing about the gay community. A good person doesn’t make unhinged comments about surrogates and a abortion.
💯
Yep. My first thought was, it’s easy for men to think he’s a good person. He isn’t telling them they are useful only as a servant to men.
The Kelce brothers are good people!
The bar is friggin’ in hell. We’re giving men cookies for not being abusive controlling dbags.
Yup.
Nobody is getting a cookie. Jesus. It’s a good thing that other men are calling out Harrison’s views and saying they don’t agree.
I’m not calling out the Kelces. They’re decent guys and yeah they did need to counter the teammate’s comments. I’m calling out the fast cultural shift to a world where it even needs to be said that a marriage is two equals in partnership. Twenty years ago we would’ve wondered why Mad Men was being reported as current news. Now, we’re literally in a fight for our basic human rights. So yeah, the bar is in hell.
To me, the issue is not where women choose to work, but the power dynamic. Butker’s words implied he viewed his wife as serving a purpose to him, which is not where we want to go. By contrast, Kylie seems to have her own independent identity and speaks her mind. Kylie is not an extension of her partner or kids. We can be supportive of women working in the home and out of the home – it’s the family dynamics we need to push back on.
We could deconstruct this for ages, but there’s also the issue that he felt entitled to lecture a group of women on what they should do with their lives and uteruses. Note that he also slammed IVF and surrogacy. This talk was very much targeted at their uteruses.
And yet the ensuing cultural conversation is about the homemaker comments and not about imagining literally anyone other than a wealthy cishet white man thinking he has the platform to do that. Imagine literally any other demographic doing that? At a college graduation?
and I’d love to remind all of the women out there who think that this is no big deal — women did not have the right to have their own bank account or take out a loan with a man cosigning until the 1970s. They were not deemed compotent to serve as a witness in a trial. We did earn an equal right to serve on juries until the 1960s. There are so many other examples. They are coming for your rights, for your very being, and way too many friggin women are just handing over those rights right back to the lunatics who think they are too stupid to vote. Guess a lot of them are.
Part of the problem here is that there’s sexism on both sides, even if one isn’t intending to be. A homemaker IS a job. Child raising is a job. Cleaning is a job. Tracking events and family planning for things like dental appointments, doctor’s visits, etc. are all jobs. There’s a reason the wealthy have traditionally outsourced those responsibilities to the lower classes.
The problem with conservatives is that they speak out of both sides of their mouth on the issue. They claim men and women have roles, and they speak of women’s roles within the home as fundamental and essential. And it IS important. It CAN be a valuable and meaningful role. But the fact is that even as they extol it’s significance, they don’t actually respect its value or contribution to society. Women’s work is still seen as “lesser” even though it’s functionally the cornerstone on which society is built. It’s seen as a way to control, dominate, and force women to submit. If they actually believed what they say, they’d exhibit respect for the work of women by arguing for things like UBI or children’s services that provided long overdue compensation for these traditionally devalued roles. The fact that they argue against them is what gives away the game.
I appreciate that he turned the conservation away from ‘butker is a good guy’. And talked about a marriage of equals and his response to a commencement speech like that.