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Last week, we talked about how Lily Allen and David Harbour are handling phone addiction. Their solution is to put a parental app on their phones and each make the other person the “parent” who controls what apps get downloaded. County music singer Morgan Wade, who you may remember as a possible third party during the Kyle Richards/Mauricio Umansky split, handled that issue in a completely different way. She did something that I’ve thought about but could never actually do: a 30-day “digital detox.” Morgan is now a brand ambassador for Brooks Running, and did an interview with People about taking a phone and social media break for the good of her mental health, as well as what she’s doing instead and how much taking a screen break has helped with her creativity.
Reading, not scrolling: “I look at this as a digital detox because it’s like, I’m not sitting there playing on my phone. I’m not scrolling, I’m not doing all that,” Wade says. “I put my phone on Do Not Disturb. I try to not be on social media very much. I haven’t logged into anything in a month. I’ve just been reading. I’ve read so much in this last month that I’ve not been picking up my phone every two seconds to just mindlessly scroll.”
Big results: “I’ve seen a big change in the last 30 days by getting rid of distractions.”
Forming a new routine: “I like to read and I journal. I just try to write down a few things that I’m grateful for and start my day off right. Then, I go into the gym. … I’m in there for a couple of hours, and I’m trying to make sure I get my vitamins in and do all this stuff.”
She looks at life differently now: “I have to sit back and be like, ‘Hey, are you doing the things that actually [matter]? Because I know the things that make me feel better, so it’s pushing myself to do those and just trying … to set the tone for my day.”
Running plays a big part on her mental and physical health: “It’s good for me to have that to focus on, outside of the music and everything else,” details the star, who recently ran an ultramarathon and plans to take part in more. She notes that running also inspires her creatively as an artist.
Her creativity is soaring: “I come up with all kinds of ideas,” Wade explains. “Sometimes I’ll stop and be like, ‘All right. You definitely have to put this in your phone. You have to make a voice note or something, so you remember this.’ “
Like I said, this is awesome. I (shamefully) still scroll Twitter when I am bored in the car or waiting in line at a store, but I find myself checking social media less and less these days. It started with me cutting down my Facebook usage during the sh-tshow that was 2020, which made me realize that I wasn’t missing out on anything by only checking it once or twice a day, tops. It also helps that I don’t really like watching videos on my phone, so I never got into watching TikTok or Instagram Reels. My husband often sets his phone on DND and we’ve both gotten good at not checking our phones constantly, which feels like another small step in the right direction. Our golden handcuffs lie in that we get our news digitally, through online newspaper subscriptions, websites, and blogs.
I love that Morgan mentions how much her creativity has prospered since her digital detox. I try to walk or hike three or four days a week (I live next to a state park and can walk there from my house) but even then, I’m not fully unplugged because I listen to podcasts. I find that when I go for walks or runs and manage to unplug, I fill that head space with ideas of my own. It’s tough to completely shut off because so much of what we do to unwind is tied to a screen of some sort. What does everyone else do when they want to cut down on screens? IDK, whenever I hear someone talking about how great it is to cut the cord, it makes me want to really make an effort to loosen the cord just a little bit further.
I also use my phone for news, podcasts and music…
Tangent: My kid came out young snd has had a rough time. There’s a local youth LGBTQ+ organization that meets a couple times a month, which has been very helpful. Not every family accepts when their kids come out, and teens that aren’t straight are under represented in literature. It’s so valuable to read stories that you can relate to: we’ve donated some old LGBTQ+ books to the organization. Some kids whose parents are against their orientation were really thankful to get their hands on reading material like this.
As a gay adult male who grew up in the deep south to deeply Southern Baptist parents who did not accept me when I initially came out … you’re amazing. Thank you. Your child will be so much more well-adjusted and have a greater sense of self worth because you accepted them in their moment of vulnerability. And they will thank you a few years down the road. My relationship with my parents is much better now but it took a decade and a lot therapy, and their initial rejection definitely did a number on our relationship with lingering effects to this day.
I truly do not understand the worshipful attitude to doing digital detox. When I look at my device’s weekly Screen Time stats, the vast majority has been spent on ‘Reading and Reference’ apps, usually Libby (library) and Books, sometimes Kindle, either reading or listening to audiobooks. I love audiobooks and podcasts that can be listened to while cooking working out, etc. News is also read on my device. I guess all that screen time makes me a bad person. 🤷♀️
It’s a delivery system – the issue is how, when, where, for what, and how often to use it.
No the screen time doesn’t make you a bad person and people who struggle with screen time aren’t bad either but I don’t think you’re really hearing how harmful it is for a lot of us.
That is great if you’re privileged with natural willpower but many of us out here have neuro issues and/or various sensitivities and our phones become like a prison.
I totally get the detox thing being helpful. I wish I could do it but because of work and medical monitoring apps I cannot and must remain constantly connected.
I did get rid of social media though, which is as a necessity. Too triggering and I couldn’t function being constantly stressed by social media
I got tennis elbow from being on my I-pad too much. To heal I started reading hardback books. I have torn through the Sarah J. Maas books. I have read so much! I am thrilled to have started reading voraciously again.
Worship attitude? I mean, I see more people worshipping smart devices and social media platforms, but hey, let’s mock the people who are choosing to address it. Like H said, if you are using your devices for educational purposes, that is great — I love listening to audio books! But so many people, especially younger generations, are not only addicted to their devices, their attention spans have been damaged from nonstop scrolling and short-form content intentionally designed to mess with their dopamine.
This is it. I felt like my attention span had been *damaged* and so I embarked on what I happily referred to as my “dopamine reset.” (Weirdly enough, thinking of it that way — merely as a reset — really helped me kick other pesky destructive habits, not just scrolling.) It also helped me to realize, going back to a point that Rosie highlighted, that being “bored” is a great thing, because that’s when our brains get really hungry or creative.
“Worshipful attitude” is an interesting comment because I do agree that moralizing about this stuff is, at best, obnoxious (“I don’t even own a TV!”) and at worst, actively harmful. I find that when I start to obsess over my habits and “willpower,” it’s because I’ve found a way to *covertly* self-destruct — because my behavior is still ultimately shame-motivated. But gen z and alpha pine for the feeling of a “simpler era” like the ’90s and y2k (it was a vibe), while older demographics can actually remember how different it felt… I think the overall trend toward digital minimalism is a net positive. People can SENSE that things have changed somehow, and their instinct is to reject that in favor of their own emotional well-being.
I listen to guided meditations and audiobooks a lot. I really like Mickey Singer’s talks. I recently heard one about how thinking positively or negatively are basically the same in that it keeps us focused on our mind’s antics rather than connecting to the part of us that existed before and will continue to go on after. We find peace when we connect with the something that is truly us. And a lot of our digital engagement is activating our mind’s antics in some way.
We’re implementing new screen guidelines in our family to keep the summer from flying by in a haze of digital distraction and to help our oldest prepare to start high school in the fall. He got a smart phone for a trip last summer and it has definitely become a time/focus suck over the past year. So we’re collectively making new guard rails to support him (and all of us).
The reading list that pushed me:
Douglas Rushkoff – Program or be programmed
Nir Eyal – Indistractible
Cal Newport – Deep Work
Johann Hari – Stolen Focus
Jaron Lanier – 10 Arguments for Deleting your social media now
Adam Alter – Irresistible
It really helped me break down what social media/scrolling/constant notifications is doing to my brain. And shift to a new paradigm. I particularly appreciated Rushkoff’s focus on not overloading your brain with input – if you’re constantly watching or listening, there isn’t time for your mind to wander and be bored and break down ideas. Hari’s digital detox helped with understanding that a permanent detox isn’t reasonable or necessary, but how to live in this world in a comfortable way. And Lanier focused on the human/personality side – what being in social media is turning us into, and how to analyze what works personally and what doesn’t.
It’s a big list, but it really helped with picking and choosing the things I love (hey I’m still here at CB!), giving space for creativity, and not feeling like my brain is slowly turning to mush.
Thank you for this! I was literally this morning looking for books on this topic. I feel consumed by social media and my phone, even when I don’t want to be, and I am excited to dive into these books.
Thanks for sharing this list!
I really enjoyed reading Stolen Focus, it was super interesting and definitely a motivator to change my screen habits .
Awesome!!! I hope you find something that resounds with you!
My iPhone recently died (RIP iPhone 11) I will miss thee. Sorry I dropped you in the bath. You deserved a better death than drowning.
But I was without a phone for a few days. Waiting for the new one to ship.
And honestly, after the withdrawal feeling went away. Which shocked me. It was nice no texts, no emails, no phone calls.
I still had my work laptop which I could communicate through. But not having your phone attached to your hand is a bit freeing. But downside was, if I needed an Uber, couldn’t do it, my music is on my phone, couldn’t listen. My audible books are on my phone. Couldn’t listen to them. So that was the downside.
I don’t think I could go a month. But I am going to do some digital free weekends and see how it goes. Maybe I can get a Walkman and listen to tapes lol.