It makes me really happy when celebrity justice works a little. I’d love to just say “It makes me really happy when celebrity justice works.” Period. But let’s be honest, they seem to have an easier form of justice, so I just ask that it works a teeny, tiny bit otherwise I’d end up too annoyed. Lindsay Lohan has had multiple run-ins with the law, mostly related to a million car crashes, DUIs, drug abuse, and rage-filled car stealing/high-speed chasing. I would hope that with a regular person, they’d be seeing a good deal of jail time (at least a year) after having such a full rap sheet in such a short period of time. But with celebrities, I just expect that they have some token punishment. I’d hope for more, but that hope keeps getting dashed. Lindsay Lohan should have done at least a few months in jail, in my opinion, but did a mere 84 minutes. But as part of her sentence, Lohan is working for 8 hours in a morgue.

Lindsay Lohan is entering the next phase of her sentence for misdemeanor drunk driving – and the good news is, she’ll be prepared if she’s ever up for a role on CSI.

After fulfilling several requirements set by her DUI plea agreement – including rehab, community service and 84 minutes spent in jail – Lohan will next have to spend some time in a morgue, her lawyer, Blair Berk, told a judge Thursday at a hearing in a Los Angeles court, the Associated Press reports.

In an effort to illustrate the potentially fatal consequences of drinking and driving, she’s set to spend two, 4-hour days in a morgue. After that, she’ll spend two days working in an emergency room.

[From People]

I did an internship at the coroner’s office in college. Lohan will have fun. Something tells me she won’t be doing paperwork and running errands, since it seems like the point is to scare/gross out the offender who’s working there. It is pretty gross if you’re not into that kind of stuff. Not to imply I’m into that kind of stuff. Um… trying to work my way out of this. Anyway, I’m assuming she’ll be at the L.A. County Coroner’s office, one of my personal favorites. Why? Because they have an online store and print catalog with L.A. County Coroner merchandise. For the photos of the baseball hats, they put them on skeletons. For the towels, they laid them out on the sand and then put a skeleton on them. Look, criminal justice humor is hard to do. You take it where you can. Coroners have a weird sense of humor, as you can probably tell. I just hope they pair Lindsay with the scary/angry/vendetta-filled coroner, and not the wacky coroner who high-fives you with a skeleton hand. Not that I’ve ever known one that does that. [JayBird looks around nervously…]